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Oye! with Lucia and Dalia
Episode 5: Latina Breadwinners
>> Lucia: Hello and welcome to ¡Oye!.
I am Lucia and this is my best friend Dalia.
She's co-presenter of this program.
>> Dalia: Hello and welcome to all.
>> Lucia: Today we'd like to talk about a topic that for both me and Dalia is very personal.
The topic has to do with Latinas, how her role has evolved
and how today many Latinas are the breadwinners in their families.
So first I'd like to start with some statistics
that I think demonstrate why the role of Latinas has changed.
First of all, there has been a 70% increase in the amount of Latinas
who are attending college and this is obviously a very different experience
especially when we talk about first generation Latinas.
The other factor is that of all the business that exist today
and particularly those owned by Latinos,
30% are owned by Latina women.
And the last important factor is that the number of Latina women
entering professional occupations has doubled in the last decade.
All of these factors have obviously impacted the role of Latina women
as well as the dynamics at home.
>> Dalia: Another example of a factor that has had an impact on the role of women
is the economic downturn. And that's what happened to me.
My husband lost his job three years ago
and he still has not been able to find a new one.
So that turned me into my family's breadwinner.
>> Lucia: Your role then has changed completely.
>> Dalia: Completely. Now it's not about him being the boss nor me
but how we can work together as a united front.
For me this has been very difficult.
Especially when my son views his father as someone who is "useless."
>> Lucia: That's a very interesting point around the word you used "useless."
Because many stay at home moms or even men who stay at home
are viewed by others or our society as if staying at home weren't "work."
Now, I'd like to focus on some tips for moms who are in this situation.
First, is to never throw in a person's face that "I am the breadwinner in this house."
This is something that my dad would always do with my mom
whenever they fought and even when they didn't.
He would often remind her that he was the breadwinner in the house
and that because he was the breadwinner
he could go out and do certain things that she couldn't.
And he would remind her that he had control.
And the other tip I have, and I made this mistake.
I bought this sofa set that cost me about $ 3,000
and you know what? I didn't even pick up the phone to let him know that I was doing this.
>> Dalia: And he didn't kick you out of the house.
>> Lucia: No!
So what happened is that he got home and there was the sofa set.
And you know what, I immediately noticed that not only because my "gringuito" (American) tells me
but because I noticed it in his face that he was not happy.
So I think it's important to include him in purchase decisions
and especially when they are big!
>> Dalia: You are right and that is going to be yet another tip that I am going to take to heart.
Because... well, I think my purpose here today is for you to give me tips!
It's been three very difficult years
especially dealing with our role reversal.
But he now appreciates what I've done.
>> Lucia: Well I think another tip, and this one is for the man,
and that's that he needs to realize that his traditional role also has to change.
And my final tip would be that we truly have to see a marriage like a society or a union.
Some time ago I had this conversation with my husband and it was very difficult.
He told me "Lucia, I feel like I am not contributing."
And I told him that he cannot look at our union only from a financial standpoint.
Just because I earn more and he doesn't it doesn't mean that he is not contributing.
What I explained to him is that he actually contributes in so many different ways.
Obviously if he was home all day doing nothing then it wouldn't be a society.
I don't know if you have the same issues.
>> Dalia: Well, you know it's all about mutual support.
When I work all weekend I tell my husband that in order for me to do this I need him.
This way he can stay home or take the kids here and there.
It is as you said as if we were part of an organization
where its members work together in different roles
but if one doesn't play his or her role then the other role cannot function.
>> Lucia: So, you know what, in summary what we'd like to say is that roles have changed,
there are many Latinas who are now the breadwinners in their homes and it's ok...
>> Dalia: Yes, it's ok.
>> Lucia: And the man's role has also changed.
But what we have to realize is that what perhaps worked for our parents
(because I hope my parents don't start to criticize me and say that I am not the mother...)
>> Dalia: Are they watching this now?
>> Lucia: Yes I believe so. Well I think it's a good way to end, no?
>> Dalia: Yes it is.
>> Lucia: So that's how we're going to end the show. I am Lucia.
>> Dalia: And I am Dalia. See you soon!
>> Lucia: See you soon! Hope you are well and until the next one!
>> Lucia: We are going to make a promise that...what once a month? >> Dalia: Once a month... >> Lucia: We will get together but alone.