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Kids, in my early
days of being a Professor,
I had one simple goal:
Give a lecture that changes someone's life.
Then one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.
Unfinished.
Of all the words you could use
to describe La Sagrada Familia...
Brown, pointy, weird...
The one that really seems
to stick is "unfinished."
Why?
Because on June 7, 1926,
the architect Antoni Gaudi...
Whose beard was also brown,
pointy, weird and unfinished...
Was run over by a bus.
And so, his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever...
But first, let's back up a few days.
Ted, look across the bar.
Three chicks: one hot, one kind of hot
and one who I'm assuming is really funny.
We ride!
What's wrong?
I don't know.
Got a burger coming.
Bro, I told you,
if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy.
Yeah, I'm not going to go
through that again.
Hi.
Barney Stinson.
And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.
Thank you for your time.
Fine. I'll have a three-way
with hot and kind of hot
while Giggles works the camera.
I ride!
So, get this:
Last night, I was watching TV,
and it turns out,
some random satellite channel
picks up a certain local Chicago newscast.
And now,
the 11:00 news with Don Frank.
Boo!
Oh, man, it's bad enough
to have to go through a horrible breakup,
but then have that person
pop up on your TV?
Are you okay?
Well, I'll admit, at first,
I felt a little weird.
But after the initial shock,
I realized something:
I've moved on.
Finished with that.
It was a peaceful moment of closure.
That's great.
- Good on you.
- Yeah, thank you.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Excuse me?
When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean.
Whenever he made the face
that you're making right now,
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.
Where's the poop, Robin?
I don't know what you're talking
about. Where's the poop, Robin?
- There's no poop.
- Where's the poop?
Okay.
So it wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.
Hey, Don, here's some breaking news:
There's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.
Finished with that.
Look, I'm not proud,
but Don left so quickly
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.
So yelling at him, even on TV, felt kind of good.
And you know what?
Now I truly am over him.
- That's great.
- Thank you.
Good on you.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Damn it!
Okay, in the process
of truly getting over him,
I may have called him
and left an... Indelicate voice mail.
I am gonna kill you.
I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you,
put your stupid face
on a deep dish pizza and eat it.
And then maybe catch a Bears game.
But mostly the killing
and eating your face thing.
Give me your phone.
We're deleting Don's number.
Don't worry.
I am never doing that again.
It was a one-time thing.
Prove it.
Delete contact.
There. Deleted.
Oh, hey!
Back already.
How was flying solo?
And by "solo," I mean
so low that you got shot down.
Look, I didn't get shot down.
Trust me, I'll get the yes.
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
This is all
part of the plan.
After initial contact,
I'm now in the ignoring phase.
Barney, why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner
like a normal person?
Golden rule: I do not
buy dinner to get the yes.
Dinner's a very intimate activity.
It requires
a level of connection and eye contact
that sex just doesn't.
Call me old-fashioned,
but I need to have sex
with a girl at least three times
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.
The next day, at the university,
i had a surprise visitor.
What are you doing here?
Oh, God!
You're dating one of my students.
It's Rachel, isn't it?
Barney, I know
she wears provocative sweaters,
but she's 19!
Ugh.
Now I'm gonna have to hear
all about it, right?
Go on, tell me every detail.
No, you pent-up old perv.
I brought you a present.
Recognize this?
It's my building.
Kids, you may remember that,
a few years earlier,
i was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters
for Goliath National Bank.
It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.
And when the project
was ultimately scrapped...
It broke my heart.
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be co-workers...
Nay, bro-workers?
Wait a minute. Y... You don't mean...
Ted Mosby, it's back on.
We're gonna build your building.
Sync by fant0m, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com
This is awesome...
You're designing our new headquarters.
Now, there will be voices that tell you
a hockey rink on the roof is unfeasible.
You've got to shut those voices out.
Actually, I think I'm gonna say no.
No? Are you kidding me?
But designing a building in New York City
is your lifelong dream.
I do not want to work for GNB again.
Those guys are evil.
No offense, Marshall.
Dude, none taken.
Yes, GNB is, the Empire from Star Wars.
But the Death Star's gonna
get built either way.
And don't you think
the architect of the Death Star
is pretty psyched to have that
thing on his space resume?
I mean, yes,
his design was flawed in the sense
that a single bullet
fired into a particular vent
would explode the whole thing.
For all we know,
that was the contractor's fault.
But that won't happen on
your watch... You know why?
Because you're Ted Mosby!
And you are gonna design
the most beautiful,
ventless, rebel-proof
building in Manhattan,
with clearly marked emergency stops
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.
Look, I know this is hard to understand,
but right now, I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.
And I like it that way.
I know what my answer has to be.
I can't take the job, Barney.
I'm done with that life.
No hard feelings?
Of course not.
All right.
- Hey, Professor Mosby.
- Hey, Rachel.
And I thought that was the end of the story.
But then that night...
I'm telling you,
no architect would ever design
a giant exposed vent right over
a Death Star's core reactor.
That's Space Architecture 101.
It had to be the contractor.
Barney, back me up.
Barney.
Dude, this is important.
I need another drink.
Marshall, you want anything?
No, I'm fine.
Okay, I get that he's mad at me
for turning down the job,
but acting like I'm not even here?
Wait, you turned down the job? When?
This morning.
That's so weird.
Just, like, an hour ago,
when we were leaving work...
So, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?
Please.
I'll get the yes.
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
Huh.
Am I wrong or is that
exactly what Barney says
when he's putting the moves on a girl?
Exactly. I mean, it's almost like
he's putting the moves on you.
Yeah, more like the opposite.
He's been ignoring me all night.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Barney wants me to take the job so bad
he's putting the moves on me?
I hope that's his end game.
Actually, I don't.
I like you two together.
I don't buy it.
That's crazy, even for Barney.
Okay, well, think about it.
We've seen his moves countless times.
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?
Chrissy, I love your glasses.
Really?
They totally pull focus up
from that whole chin
situation you got going on.
To Chrissy.
The backhanded compliment
to lower her self-esteem...
A proven winner.
But Barney hasn't done...
Ted, I admire your loyalty.
You've had that hairstyle forever.
You don't care that it's out of fashion
or that it's been co-opted
by the lesbian community.
You stick with it.
To Ted.
Hey, Lily!
Don't "hey, Lily" me.
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.
Oh, no, not this again.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Okay, I left Don another message.
"This just in"
is what I'm gonna say
when I'm stabbing you".
But that's impossible.
You deleted his number.
I tried to.
But then this thing popped up
on my phone that said, "are you sure?"
And I wasn't sure.
I can't lie to my phone.
Oh, sweetie, I totally understand.
Delete it!
It's not that easy, okay?
You're not just deleting a number,
you're deleting a part of your life.
You know, all those
memories, all those experiences.
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.
I know, sweetie.
I know.
Delete it!
Okay, if it's that easy,
I'm gonna delete one of
your numbers from your phone,
see how you like it.
My "plezh."
If you can find a number in there
that I don't call regularly,
I'll gladly delete it.
Super Kicks Karate.
No, not that one.
That's my dojo.
You have a dojo?
I took an introductory karate class.
Oops, wrong room.
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?
What's the matter, lady?
You scared?
Of you? Please.
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I hated kindergarten.
All three times.
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.
How long ago did you take that class?
I don't know.
It was around the time
when everyone was going, "Wassuuuuuuup!"
How do you even remember that?
Wassuuuuuup...!
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.
- I might.
- No, no.
But you keep it in your phone
because it reminds you
of a version of yourself
that you could be, even if
it's a version of yourself
that you'll never become.
And that's okay.
No, it's not.
Okay, you know what?
There, gone.
Your move, Scherbatsky.
I finally know what your kind goes through.
I get it now.
For the last time,
I don't care how big it was,
it is not the same as giving birth.
Ew. No.
Barney's been "putting the moves" on Ted.
Oh, that sucks.
Although I like you two together.
No, he's been doing it to try
to get Ted to design
the new GNB tower.
Which moves are we talking about?
Did he do the thing where
he brags on himself
in the form of a complaint?
Man, every time
I take out my business card
and women see the GNB logo,
they throw themselves at me.
I miss the chase.
It sucks!
Man, the courtside Knicks seats
that are available to all
upper level GNB employees
are too close to the action.
I keep getting sweat on my suit.
It sucks!
Man,
GNB's benefits package is so comprehensive
it gives me the freedom to see
any doctor I want.
It sucks!
He did.
And the intense eye contact thing?
So, Ted,
would you like to split
some jalapeño poppers?
Okay.
Yep.
And the thing where he establishs intimacy
through physical contact?
You know why jalapeño poppers are so good?
It's the cream cheese.
That is so true.
Yeah...
Cream cheese has a mild flav... Flavor
so it... It balances out
the spiciness of the jal...
The spiciness of the...
Dude!
So at any point in this
did you say, "Barney,
I know what you're doing,
and it's not going to work.
I am not taking that job?"
Well, I mean, not exactly in those...
You're loving this.
No.
You are.
You're loving the attention.
It's nice to be wanted, okay?
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.
Oh, that's right, you didn't.
Barney did!
Oh, Teddy,
you are so going to spread your legs
and design that building.
I am not that kind of architect.
So get this... Robin never
deleted Don's number.
Wait...
Boo!
Oh, everyone thinks it's so easy.
Give me your phone.
Let's delete one of yours.
Okay.
No problem.
If you can find a number that I don't need
or shouldn't have in here, be my guest,
but good luck.
I keep my phone tight.
- Edwin.
- Oh, no, not that one.
That's the booker for the club
that my band plays at.
You know, my all-lawyer
funk band... You remember...
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.
* Your witness lied
so your case is sunk, hah! *
* I sentence you to a life of funk *
* counselors, how do you plead? *
* funky. *
Kick it.
You guys played one gig four years ago.
I'm deleting it.
No, no, we're gonna... We're
gonna play another gig again.
Probably really soon.
It's just we all got super busy, and...
We're not going to play
another gig again, are we?
Probably not, baby.
See, it's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?
Well, it's just that without
that number in my phone,
I'm just a corporate lawyer
working 60 very un-funky hours a week.
Sorry, Marshall.
But if I have to, you have to.
Okay. Your turn.
Barney, I gotta tell you something.
Oh, that reminds me.
I got you a little airplane.
It represents the spirit of adventure.
Do you like it, Ted?
Do you?
Stop it.
Stop looking at me
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.
I'm not designing the GNB Tower.
Yeah, I know.
You turned it down.
We hired someone else.
Oh.
Oh.
Can you believe it?
He's resorting
to the oldest move in the book.
The classic, "pretend to take
the offer off the table
so I'll want it more."
It's so obvious, right?
As if that's going to make me be like,
"oh, God, I never should have said no."
It's not a move, dude.
I executed the paperwork for
the new architect this morning.
Barney wasn't lying.
Oh, God, I never should have said no!
Come on, GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.
This is just one of Barney's moves.
It's not a move, dude.
The senior partners were getting impatient.
I thought you didn't even want the job.
I didn't!
I don't! I don't. I don't!
- Okay, I'll do it!
- What?
Ted, it's too late.
I'll design it for half
of what you're paying the other architect.
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.
Lobby stuff.
Wow, half?
Ted,
on behalf of Goliath National Bank...
Okay, it's a move.
- What?
- Dude!
There is no other architect.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied.
I was being Barney's wingman,
and I never get to be the wingman.
You guys lied to me?
You're the world's worst wingman.
You know what? I'm out of here.
I can do better. Take me back.
You son of a ***!
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.
We only lied to you to make you
realize that you want this job.
No, I don't.
I mean, I know I said I did,
but that's only because I fell for the same
creepy, pickup artist voodoo of yours
that countless women...
236.
Before me fell for.
Wow, respect.
No... Ted... You want to do this, okay?
You're just scared of getting hurt again.
But you can't let fear steal your funk.
That is good. There is a song in there.
Excuse me.
Come on, Ted!
This is your dream.
No, it's not. Not anymore.
And you know what?
Letting go of that dream was
the best decision I ever made.
You guys actually think
I have some lingering itch
to be an architect?
Work 20 hours a day and weekends?
To get ulcers and pull my hair
out and worry and doubt myself
and then at the end of it all,
have the rug pulled out from under me?
I love being a Professor, okay?
All that stupid crap they tell you
about how fulfilling teaching is?
It's all true.
I'm happy, and I'm not letting go of that.
My answer's no.
Hey, guys.
Where's the poop, Robin?
How do you do that?
You are like a bomb-sniffing
dog, except with poop.
You are a poop-sniffing dog.
I think that's just called a dog.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Fine. I called don again.
Hey, Don! It's Robin again.
Look, I am sorry for all the calls.
It's just, I saw you on the news,
and it made me a little crazy for a minute.
I guess I wasn't as over
our breakup as I thought.
But I want to say,
from the bottom of my heart,
I am going to kill you.
No... no, I'm not.
I am happy for you.
And that asian *** on your Facebook page.
She's dead, too.
I thought you deleted his number.
I did, but it turns out, I memorized it.
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.
Well, you have to try.
If you ever want to have closure...
I am never going to have closure.
Okay? Closure doesn't exist.
Okay, one day, Don and I
are moving in together,
and the next thing I know,
he's on a plane to Chicago.
It just... ended.
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,
it will have never not happened.
Don and I will always be a loose end.
We'll always be...
Unfinished.
Gaudi, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream,
but that's not usually how it goes.
I mean, usually, it isn't a speeding bus
that keeps the brown, pointy,
weird church from getting built.
Most of the time, it's just too difficult
or too expensive, or too scary.
It's only once you've stopped
that you realize how hard
it is to start again.
So you force yourself not to want it.
But it's always there.
And until you finish it, it will always be...
Hey, Barney. Hey, Rachel.
Rachel, why aren't you in class?
Why aren't you in class?
Yeah, Ted. Why aren't you in class?
You son of a ***.
I'll call Marshall.
We'll draw up the contract.
Not so fast.
I'm not that easy.
And so I made Barney break his golden rule.
I made him take me out to dinner
before I finally gave him
the thing he always got.
Yes.
And even though it didn't happen right away...
And now, the 11:00 news with Don Frank.
Man
¿Bueno?
Who is this?
No hablo inglés.
¿Quién es?
I'm sorry. Is this 917-456...
I'm sorry, 465...
No, wait.
Robin finally got some closure, too.
Sorry. Wrong number.
Finished with that.
Hey, punk!
Bit of advice.
Next time you step on a
kindergarten teacher's neck,
you better finish the job.
I knew this day would come.
Sync by fant0m, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com