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I have to say I was shocked when I was researching "What is it that people are struggling most
to respond to?" In the United States, the number 1 thing that people struggle responding
to is: "How are you?" I'm amazed! But I've got the answer! Are you ready?
OK, I'm going to assume that since you're watching these videos, it's because you invest
in yourself and you invest in your communication skills and your personal and professional
development. Therefore, chances are you try to maintain a positive communication style.
Right? And you also try to be honest. Right? You don't want to waste any time at work.
Right? That's when we run into challenges because people go around sometimes asking
us questions such as: "Hey, how ya doin'? Hey how are ya??" And let's say we had a terrible
weekend. Many times I'm sure you've thought to yourself, as I have, "You really want to
know?? Do you?? You really want to know?? I'm going to tell ya'." I mean, but, that's
why tactical communication is so important. Remember that tactical communication helps
us meet all of our goals at the same time. For example, if I want to sound positive and
be honest and not waste any time, I could simply respond to that question with an "unbelievable!"
and get back to work. You can say "unbelievable" and that covers it any way you want to cut
it. If you had a terrible weekend, if you had a great weekend--"unbelievable! You would
not believe it!" And you get right back to work--boom, instead of saying things such
as--and wasting time--you simply say "unbelievable. Goodbye" and I'm back to work, you know? But
having said that, I want to give the actual answer that I like to give, and that I see
savvy communicators giving more and more often these days. If you did have a terrible weekend,
you can use something such as "unbelievable" and keep moving along in your positive way.
Let's say that someone actually cares--you know a friend, a colleague, a boss--and says
"Hey Dan, how've you been?" They care. Answer in a way that is unique, not something such
as "Fine thanks, how are you?" If you have the opportunity and the presence of mind to
stop and say something such as "hmmm, you know, I am really good, now that I think about
it, so thanks for having me think about that. How's everything going with you? I hope it's
good." Or, let's say that you were to stop and think and say "I am so good; I hope everything's
good with you!. Is it??" Now you'll notice that I'm saying things such as "I hope it's
good with you, is it?" instead of "How are you?" That's me. But whatever answer you're
going to give, give an honest, unique answer. You know maybe it's someone who knows that
you were sick, or you had a personal tragedy. You might want to stop and say "Hmmm, you
know I am better every day and I am blessed to have people around me like you. Thank you
very much." And when someone asks "How are you?" you are not obligated to say "How are
you??" Remember, be honest and genuine and authentic in your communication. And when
you ask somebody how they are, don't just ask "How are you?" You know "How are you?"
Ask somebody a little more than that. You know if you know someone well enough to ask
them how things are going, be specific--something more along the lines of "Hey John, how are
you enjoying your first week at work?" Or "Hey Mary, how are you and your family liking
the new house??" Or "Hey John, how are you and the wife enjoying your new family member?"
Or even to a customer, something such as "Hi, I hope you're enjoying your new spring line.
What can I help you find?" When you are asking somebody how they are, be specific and be
genuine, just as when someone asks you how you are--if you have the opportunity to pause
and give a unique answer such as "Ohhhh, I am so good and so grateful that you asked.
What's up with you? What's new?" When you can give a genuine, honest, unique answer,
you'll stand out as a savvy, polished, authentic communicator. Dan O'Connor Training dot com.
He gives you the words.