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Someone wants to know how can a hamster be qualified to become
president
What do you mean by qualified"
It's true. Hamsters don't have any special credentials to govern
but do we need that?
... really?
If you're old enough to vote
you're old enough to govern yourselves
'Nuff said?
What are the duties of the vice president?
What will be the duties of vice-president Squit under a Diddley Squat administration?
Diddley Squat says that's Squit's jpb as vice president will be to clean up
the mess when the president falls asleep during debates.
Somebody has a question about social issues in general.
What is the hamster position?
Diddley says that it's strictly paws-off
when it comes to those
embarrassing matters.
Anybody wanting answers about those problems should see a clergyman or an
attorney or a doctor
or something ...
Whatever.
Just don't ask a hamster!
Okay, there's this. How can we know you hamsters won't just spend all the
money in the treasury?
The candidates want to remind you that they aren't even asking for a salary to serve,
only a proper diet,
fresh water, special treats on occasion, and a soft bed. That's all.
Someone in San Francisco wants to know
will Diddley Squat and Squit
be on the ballot in California?
The answer is no. They will not
But voters may use their write-in option.
Just write the names of Diddley and Squit
in this space below the other candiddates
and mark that box.
Those ballots really do
get counted.
Will rodents and other four footed creatures get any special treatment
under a hamster administration?
The candidates say that nothing will be taken away from their human constituents.
Nothing!
But at the end of the day rodents and other creatures do have some
catching up to do.
Diddley proposes that obsolete properties like the Pentagon,
for instance, be made into shelters for needy animals. It is a fact at the
Pentagon - the world's largest office building - which easily house
eight million rats and mice, fifty thousand horses, one hundred thousand cats and
an equal number of dogs, and there would still be room for untold numbers of goats
turtles, guinea pigs and others. This would be in segregated quarters,
of course.
Here we have a voter
who wants to know
what a hamster administration can do better than a human administration
about the national debt.
What would Diddley Squat do,
if elected, about the debt?
The answer,
Diddley says,
is with the richest one percent of the population.
These are the people who have their paws on ninety percent of the
country's wealth.
That's huge!
These people are multimillionaires who everyday increased their wealth with
incomes of more than a million per year.
People making their first million
would be taxed less ithat those who are enormously rich and continue to add to their
riches with very very high incomes.
Diddley would levy serious taxes on those with incomes above a million dollars who
already have accumulated wealth.
it's accumulation of west that matters.
With the rich paying their share no only can the debt be progressively paid down,
the rest of the people will see impressive tax relief
and ultimately,
when the budget is balanced, they will pay no taxes at all.
Here is a strange one.
It asks: Don't those hamsters ever speak for themselves"
As a matter of fact.
they do.
Take it away, Diddley Squat.
[gibberish]
[gibberish]
[gibberish]
[gibberish]
So elect ME.
The Hamster for President campaign has generated a lot of publicity and an even
greater amount of support from the public.
It is hardly surprising, then, that endorsement coming from
all over the world.
Not only are we flooded with endorsements from Hollywood to New York.
They are coming
from overseas as well.
In fact, we have received the support of a cat belonging to the Queen
of England.
(Meow) I pledge my paw in support of the Hamster for President 2012 campaign. (Meow)
And Diddley has the backing of a famous race horse,
an Irish point-to-point champion.
What? The US are voting to elect a human president?
Are they nuts?
That Squatful rodent just got my vote any day of the week.
And here we have another friend, this one from the canine world, who asks
that everyone vote for Diddley Squat.
We have barely scratched the surface.
Diddley and Squit have the support of the birds of the air and the fishes of the sea.
We even got a message from an octopus.
And there have been others not as welcome. An investigation by the Secret Service
found that this rattlesnake had ulterior motives.
He wanted to eat the future president for breakfast. Needless to say, std needless to say is
his endorement was rejected.
Don't forget that the election is Tuesday the 6th of November.
Be sure to cast your ballots for Diddley Squat and Squit Squat.
Hamster for President!!!
Please vote.
Remember,
when others vote and you don't bother to cast your ballot, you will deserve what
those other voters give you.
And, yes,
it could be this bad!
Are you scared yet?
Vote Hamster for President!