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DOUBLE RUSH, BARKLEY SPEAKING.
HELLO! I HAVE A MESSENGER ON HIS WAY.
DEE DOG, RUSH TO 88th AND FIFTH.
AND YOU HAVE A PLEASANT Y TOO, MISS DONOVAN.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
UH, DARK GREY SUIT AND A PERMANENT PRESS SHIRT.
WHY?
YOU'RE WEARING WHAT?
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S APPROPRIATE ATTIRE
FOR AN OFFICE?
I DID IT!
I FINALLY GOT THAT
STINKING LEGAL FIRM TO PAY UP.
LOOK. REAL MONEY. JUST LIKE I REMEMBERED IT.
PICTURES OF DEAD PRESIDES AD EíERYTH■NG.
$419!
■
THK YOU!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'LL USE THIS TO SEND OUT CASH GIFTS.
IT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO, JOHNNY.
THE ELECTRIC COMPANY SENDS US
THOSE PRETTY RED DISCONNECT NOTICES.
THE LANDLORD CAME BY TO INVITE US
TO A LITTLE DO IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT.
ORLY
TO PAY FOR THE WINDOW
HUNTER WENT THROUGH AT THE PET STORE.
HEY, IT WAS LIKE THE BIRDS WERE CALLING TO ME.
[Captioning sponsored by SHUKOVSKY ENGLISH ENTERTAINMENT
and CBS]
HEY, MAN, WATCH OUT!
IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE, MISS DONOVAN.
UH, I HAVE A SOOTHING, MELLIFLUOUS VOICE.
ALL RIGHT... SEXY.
OH, COULD YOU HOLD...
HERE'S A JOE SARDELLA
IN YOUR OFFICE WAITING TO SEE YOU.
HE SAID YOU'D KNOW HIM.
JOE SARDELLA?
THE ONLY JOE SARDELLA I KNOW GOT EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL
FOR TRYING TO SAW THE TEACHER'S THUMB OF
IN WOOD SHOP.
HE DID SAY HE WENT TO SCHOOL WITH YOU.
JOE SARDELLA?
WE HATED EACH OTHER.
HE WAS ALWAYS BREAKING INTO MY LOCKER.
WE'D END UP DUKING IT OUT AFTER SCHOOL.
THIS GUY'S NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.
WHY DON'T YOU CUT HM SLAC PEOPLE CHANGE.
LOOK AT ME.
I USED TO BE A HAPPY LITTLE BOY.
I BETTER GET IN THERE.
HE'S PROBABLY LOOKING FOR MY VALUABLES.
THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE ANY.
ALL RIGHT, SARDELLA.
DROP WHATEVER YOU GOT IN Y
YOU'RE A PRIEST?
JOHNNY!
YOU OLD SON OF A GUN, YOU.
( laughs )
IS THIS A TRIP OR WHAT?
WHOA!
HEY, LET ME JUST...
TAKE THIS IN A SECOND.
YOU'RE REALLY A...
OH, WAIT A MINUTE, SARDELLA.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL?
YOU'RE WEARING THESE CLOTHES TO EAT FREE AT WEDDINGS.
SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, VERONA, BUT I CLEANED UP MY ACT.
I WENT STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
YOU'RE A PRIEST?
OH, MAN!
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE MOONING ME
FROM THE BACKSEAT OF A POLICE CAR.
YEAH. WELL, THOSE DAYS ARE WELL OVER.
.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
THIS IS A HELL OF A SHOCK
I MEAN "HECK." IT'S A HECK OF A SHOCK.
AW, CRAP!
OOH, DON'T.
I'M SORRY, FATHER.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M JUST A GUY FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD
WITH A LITTLE EXTRA MUSCLE IN MY CORNER.
HERE. SIT DOWN.
AH... NO. HERE.
THE REASON I'M HERE
IS I'M ASSIGNED TO TAKE CHARGE
AT SAINT XAVIER'S.
OH. SAINT XAVIER'S EET?
YEAH. I WAS DOING SOME MISSIONARY WORK
IN PERU-- NOT A BAD PLACE--
IF YOU LIKE MOSQUITOES BIG ENOUGH
TO SERVE FOR THANKSGIVING.
YEAH.
I GUESS THEY THOUGHT I COULD BE OF SOME HELP.
THEY'RE A SMALL PARISH IN A POOR COMMUNITY.
YOU KNOW, THEY MAY BE GOOD AT SAVING SOULS
BUT THEY'RE LOUSY AT SAVING MONEY.
I GUESS THEY THINK I CAN DO BOTH.
BY THE WAY, I HAVE NOT
SEEN YOU AT SUNDAY MASS SINCE I GOT THERE.
OH, UH, Y-Y-YEAH.
I'VE, I'VE MISSED A FEW SUNDAYS.
YOU KNOW, I WAS, UH, A LITTLE BUSY.
STILL A BIG FOOTBALL FAN, EH?
YEAH.
( laughs )
BUT NOW THAT IT'S ON FOX
YOU'LL BE SEEING A LOT MORE OF ME.
YOU'RE TOO MUCH.
OH! YOU STILL GOT A...
DID YOU SEE THIS?
( groans )
WATCH OVER THERE!
OOH.
OH, YEAH.
OH. OH.
HA! HA! OH!
TOO BAD WE NEVER LAUGHED LIKE THIS BEFORE.
WE WERE TOO BUSY FIGHTING.
HT.
WE SHOULD GO OUT SOMETIME.
HAVE A DRINK. SHOOT SOME POOL.
OH. YOU CAN DO THAT?
YOU CAN SHOOT POOL?
OH. YOU CAN DRINK?
HAVE YOU EVER MET A PRIEST
WHO DIDN'T DRINK RELIGIOUSLY?
Johnny: HEY, YOU PRAYING BEFORE EACH SHOT?
BECAUSE THAT MIGHT BE CONSIDERED CHEATING.
HEY. WOULD I DO THAT?
COME ON!
BABY NEEDS NEW HYMNALS IN THE CHAPEL.
( laughs )
OH. THIS IS HUMILIAT
A PRIEST IS WIPING THE FLOOR WITH ME.
I HOPE THERE'S NOBODY IN HERE THAT I KNOW.
( laughing )
HERE YOU GO. TWO BEERS.
THANK YOU.
I GOT IT.
NO. NO. NO.
I INVITED YOU.
WHAT'S THE DAMA■E?
NOTHING, FATHER. IT'S ON THE HOUS
WELL, GOD BLESS YOU, DEAR.
JOHNNY, YOU HUNGRY?
WANT A COUPLE OF BURGERS?
BASKET OF FRIES?
SURE.
RIGHT AWAY, FATHER.
THANK YOU.
LOOK AT YOU, MAN.
YOU GOT IT MADE.
THIS PRIEST THING.
IT'S BETTER THAN BEING A COP.
■■
OH!
HEY, HEY.
■
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
HOW DID A GUY WHO ONCE STOLE A CITY BU■ STILL FULL OF PEOPLE
END UP WEARING A COLLAR?
PRISON.
IT COULD HAVE
AN INTERESTING EFFECT ON A PERSON.
YOU GO ONE WAY OR YOU GO THE OTHER.
I MET THIS CHAPLAIN THERE
AND I GUESS HE WAS THE ONE WHO TURNED ME AROUND.
YEAH. BUT YOU KNOW...
IN HIGH SCHOOL, YOU WERE VOTED
MOST LIKELY TO ROOM WITH MANSON.
I MEAN, YOU USED TO SHAKE PEOPLE DOWN.
NOW LOOK AT YOU.
HUSTLING ME IN A POOL HALL.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
THERE WAS ANOTHER REASON I WANTED TO ASK YOU OUT.
I'M GOING TO MAKE THE PARISH MORE ACTIVE.
MORE BAPTISMS, MORE WEDDINGS-- THE USUAL.
I'M GOING TO NEED A MESSENGER SERVE.
I THOUGHT I'D THROW THE BUSINESS YOUR WAY--
IF YOU NEED IT.
OH, YEAH! NO!
TH-THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
AND LOOK, IF YOU'RE DOING THIS
JUST TO TRY TO GET ME TO START
GOING TO CHURCH AGAIN... IT'S WORKING.
HERE YOU GO, FATHER.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CHARGE YOU
OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND.
ONE SECOND HERE.
WHOA!
I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS.
JOHNNY, I'M A LITTLE SHORT.
OH. NO. I GOT IT.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY TREAT.
HERE YOU GO, SUGAR.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
HEY, JOEY, YOU KNOW, UH...
WE GOT MONEY ON THIS GAME.
IF YOU SHOULD LOSE
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PAY?
LOSE?
I MUST CONFESS...