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(Mother Teresa) Master Splinter...
Please tell us how you gave us our names.
Very well...
my children!
I will tell you why you were named thus.
You!
Mother Teresa!
You are named...
for a woman renowned for her kindness and compassion...
and you...
with your kind heart.
You have become a GREAT
LEADER!
Thank you, Master Splinter!
And you! Marie Curie.
You are named
for the most renowned female scientist!
You!
With your intelligence...
and your
MASTERY of the sciences...
You would make her proud
as you have made ALL of family!
Thank you, Master Splinter.
And you! Toni Morrison!
You are named...
for a woman
who is SMART...
FUNNY...
SASSY...
SURPRISINGLY well-spoken...
and also...
If you say "black"...
I will punch you IN THE FACE.
I was going to say
because you are a WRITER!
But also the "black" thing.
(Mother Teresa) Don't!
Just don't.
Okay. I'mma let you finish your little story pops but when you is done...
We's GONNA GO!
HAHAHAHA!
Toni - you so crazy.
And you!
My child...
YOU...
are perhaps the closest to your namesake!
Known by MANY...
LOVED...
by VERY FEW.
Out little trainwreck...
SNOOKI.
Whatever.
THAT my children...
is how you were named!
Although...
if I had known the true nature of your mutation...
I may have given you very different names.
Except for you Snooki...
you're all set.
*BURP*!
Left! Right! (Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles Theme)
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles # - Yah! Argh!
# TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA FERTILES! #
# Heroes who are teen moms... FERTILE POWER! #
# They're the world's most FECUND fighting team! #
- What? - It means we're easily IMPREGNATED!
# They're easily impregnated and sixteen! #
I think my water just broke!
# When the evil Scraper attacks... #
# Those fertile girls don't cut him no slack! #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles #
# Splinter taught them how to be NINJA TEENS! #
- He looks like a rat! - He IS a rat you dumb b-
# Mother Teresa leads! Marie Curie does machines! #
I'm still going to M.I.T!
# Toni Morrison is witty and cool... # - Momma's gotta punch somebody!
# And Snooki just got kicked out of school! #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles # - Whatevs. I want pickles!
# These girls are ALWAYS pregnant and that's not cool! (No sir!) #
# If only they taught sex education OUTSIDE of school (Not everyone goes to school!) #
# We can help each other as a whole. # (baby crying) # Then they might've known proper BIRTH CONTROL! #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles #
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Fertiles #
# TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA FERTILES! #
# Underage and pregnant! FERTILE POWER! # *crickets chirp*
Slate 11, Take 2! *clack!* (50's Rock N'Roll music)
Toni! I've forgotten the f*cking surname! (laughter)
TONI... HARRISON... F*CK!
Toni Harrison! (laughter) F*ck's sake!
TONY MORRISON!
But if I ha' known...
The tru- heh... nature - heh...
But if I had known...
the true nature...
of your mutation...
- F*ck! She's crying! - (Clare) I'm sorry I couldn't help it!
Shred this ***!
- Where do babies come from?
- A stork comes down the chimney and f*cks your mom!
I want some pickles.
Anyone?
You got pickles? Gimme.
A BIG one.
(laughter)
(Jasmine) Terrorists? Oh please. Disney was so scared of my Moroccan heritage...
that they gave me an American accent in the film!
(Tiana) When will they learn that not all stereotypes are true? (pause) Y'all want some chicken?
(Adele) Two Big Macs... and a Happy Meal... COS... my boyfriend cheated on me, INNIT?
(Class of Foreigners) Two Big Macs... and a Happy Meal... cos my boyfriend cheated on me innit?
Class did good! Yay!