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How to Use a Freakin' Comma, a la Shmoop. Certain things are so simple, it's a wonder
that some people don't know how to use them.
For example, you'd be appalled if you saw someone wearing their hat... like this.
Or using a pair of scissors... like this.
Or brushing their teeth... like this. The comma is one of those things that most
of us use nearly every single day...
...and yet many of us are still clueless.
The poor comma is misused more than the blunt end of a screwdriver.
But we're going to set things straight.
So sit back, relax, and allow us to tell you everything you need to know about our curvy
little friend. So... when should you use a comma?
When separating out phrases that don't need to be there.
So you're writing a sentence and you want to add a little color commentary. Add it between
commas.
"My pug, Morton, is lazy."
Take out what's between the commas, and the sentence won't buckle.
Sure, Morton is totally appreciative of the shout-out, but if you removed his name...
and the two commas... the sentence would still send the same message.
"My pug is lazy." So in this instance, the comma is used to rope off non-essential information.
Sorry, Morton. We promise we don't consider you non-essential. Not that you'd ever get
off your duff to do anything about it. When linking two independent clauses with
a conjunction.
If you need a refresher, conjunctions include your "ifs," your "ands," your "buts" and your
"coconuts."
Ok, maybe not the coconuts.
When you've got two halves of a sentence that could exist on their own...
...but you're lumping 'em together...
...you'll use a comma and a conjunction to make them play nice with each other.
As in: "I'd like to go to Six Flags, but it's my day to clean the bathroom."
You could say "I'd like to go to Six Flags. It's my day to clean the bathroom."...
...but by adding a comma and a conjunction, you can say both. And you can make your obvious
bitterness so much more pronounced. When you're addressing someone in particular.
As opposed to all those times you go out onto your balcony to address the masses collectively.
This one can be a lifesaver... literally.
Just check out the difference between "Let's eat, Grandma!" and "Let's eat Grandma!"
Grandma only survives the first example. And it would really be a shame if she kicked the
bucket this close to her 90th birthday. When making a list.
A list of... inappropriate ways to use commas, for example.
Suppose we want to communicate that our favorite foods are "peanut butter M&Ms, Brussels sprouts,
and fried... anything."
But what about that last comma? You might have noticed that not everyone drops a comma
in that spot.
But Shmoop does. That last comma—also known as the serial or Oxford comma--can help alleviate
list confusion...
Like if we were to say, "Shmoop's role models are their parents, William Shakespeare and
Toni Morrison."
Although they possibly used to date... in some bizarre, alternate universe... Billy
Shakes and Toni M are not our parents.
Instead, we're naming three separate things. So we would write it this way:
"Shmoop's role models are their parents, William Shakespeare, and Toni Morrison."
People have gotten into full-on brawls over this one, but Shmoop says: Don't be a serial
comma killer. When you have more than one adjective modifying
a noun.
As in, "The brilliant, hilarious Shmoop." We could keep adding complimentary adjectives
all day long, but we think those two probably get our point across.
After introductory phrases or clauses.
Once we're done with this example, we'll move on to the next one.
That was it. Our example. Did you miss it?
So is that all? Those are the only times you need a comma? Well, no.
There are some other instances... dates, the ending of a letter, geographical locations,
et cetera... but these six are the biggies. But when shouldn't you use a comma?
The easy answer is... all other times.
You should never use a comma just because you feel like a sentence could use a good
pause...
...or because the period key on your keyboard is broken. Call Geek Squad... they'll hook
you up. But here are a few specific times when people
tend to get tripped up... When separating two independent clauses without
a conjunction.
A run-on sentence, believe it or not, isn't necessarily a long sentence.
If you plug a comma somewhere it doesn't belong, you can actually make a very short sentence
a run-on.
It might be more of a jog... but still.
Try this one on for size: "I eat, I sleep."
First of all... way to keep your priorities in order. But secondly... we've got a run-on
sentence here.
Both parts of the sentence could function on their own as complete sentences, and they
can't be joined by just a comma.
Without their conjunction buddy, it simply doesn't work.
This specific type of run-on sentence is called a comma-splice. And they're as painful as
they sound. After the conjunction.
So none of this: "You think you're wrong but, I think you're right."
Ugh. We just cold a cold chill. And finally, when separating a dependent and
independent clause with a conjunction.
Translation: a comma would be totally inappropriate here:
"We ran to the kitchen, and started to down some cookies."
"Started to down some cookies" isn't its own sentence, so even with the conjunction there,
the comma has to go.
Besides, the comma is only going to slow you down in your quest for those cookies.
Make sure you bring enough to share with the whole class.
So yeah, there are a few rules to keep straight...
....but it isn't brain surgery.
If it were... there would certainly be a lot of people praying not
to fall into a comma.