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So, let's go to Rome with Nerdcast!
No!
- Holy ***... - ...to Rome with Nerdtour!
Nerdtour!
JovemNerd.com.br presents: NerdOffice S03E23 - Rome, Vatican and Slow Motion Editing by GavetaFilmes.com.br Subtitles by Fabio Lima - @fabiopl
Lambda, lambda, lambda, nerds! Welcome to the NerdOffice!
Azaghal... What's missing in NerdOffice?
- What's missing right now? - Sponsors.
We had one today, but they canceled.
True story!
Anyway... In my opinion, what's missing in NerdOffice, sometimes,
is this!!
Background music! I think life should have background music.
[SLEEPY HEAD] You do something and all of a sudden... Boom!
Music for victories, for defeats, for melancholy...
Even for frustrating moments.
Yeah. Suspense music! "Where are my keys??"
"Where are my keys?"
Excellent! Well...
What the hell would be the music for that??
"Where are my keys?"
The other day I was listening to...
We can put background music in our lives by listening.
Since I was a kid, I've liked movie soundtracks.
I've been listening to and buying them ever since.
- Right? - Right.
So, there's one that's recently won over my heart.
It's The Avengers original soundtrack.
It was written by Alan Silvestri,
a great composer who did many big movies like Back to the Future,
Predator, which also has a great soundtrack, Contact, and many others.
And he did The Avengers as well.
Very heroic music.
So there I was, listening to my Avengers soundtrack, walking around the house,
and I realized: everything you do in your life,
no matter how dull it is,
is better with the Avengers theme. Show'em, Gaveta!
Isn't that true, Azaghal?
Alottoni is such a sheep! He follows all fads.
- Fad?! Come on! No! - He jumped on the Avengers bandwagon.
There are much better soundtracks than The Avengers'.
[I'M DRUNK] - Is that so?
[I'M DRUNK] There are many others that are better.
The Kill Bill soundtrack, for instance.
Like when O-ren Ishii enters that weird restaurant.
Right!
And Battle Without Honor starts playing.
..."Or Humanity".
That is the song that plays in my mind every time I enter any place.
If I get on a stage to speak to the nerds, that's how I go.
And it's not only the music: you gotta add some slow motion, too.
Your life with a soundtrack may be cool,
but it only gets *** wicked with slow motion.
So Gaveta, once more, this time with adequate music...
...and slow motion.
So Azaghal, you're dressed the part today,
because today our Nerdtour is going to...
Where?
He who has a mouth goes to Rome.
"Quem tem boca..."
"...vai a Roma." [Brazilian version of the proverb]
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 1] You know there's another version, right?
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 1] Yeah. " 'Pre' conception."
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 1] "Quem tem boca VAIA [boos] Roma."
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] "Quem tem boca VAIA [boos] Roma."
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] You didn't know that?!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] But I don't know.
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] What?
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] Which one is right?
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] I went to Rome, I didn't boo it.
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] So for me, He who has a mouth goes to Rome.
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 2] All roads lead to Rome!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 3] All roads lead to Rome!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 3] When in Rome, do as the Romans do!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 4] When in Rome, do as the Romans do!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 4] There are so many proverbs!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 4] Check it out, check it out!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 4] An anagram for "Rome".
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 4] "More"!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 5] "More"!
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 5] Our tour guide said that!
Which makes no sense, because "more" in Italian is "più"!
Exactly, it makes no sense!
So we went to Rome, to Ostia,
a preserved ancient Roman city,
which is only about 20-30 km from Rome.
There's Pompeii, which is one of the most well-preserved Roman archeological sites,
but it's like a 6 hour trip there and back by train,
and sometimes you don't have the whole day.
Ostia is just over there, 20km from Rome. A wonderful city!
A well-preserved archeological site of an ancient Roman city...
and also a port town.
And of course there's Rome, with the Colosseum,
the Vatican and lots of other cool stuff.
Rome is all about the Colosseum.
But it's cool!
If you go to the Colosseum, there's not much else to see. For real.
Oh, there's other places. The Trevi Fountain...
- If you gotta stay two hours in Rome... - The Pantheon...
- ...go to the Colosseum. The best by far. - No!
So let's go to Rome with Nerdtour!
[ROME - ITALY]
[THE TREVI FOUNTAIN]
Make a wish, Agatha!
- Wow, three?! - I'm making three wishes.
What will be Azaghal's wish in "La Fontana Di Trevi"?
Wow, that was fast!
Look at that crowd around the fountain.
The Trevi Fountain.
A calendar of cute priests!
The one on the cover is cute, too!
- What is this about?? - Look at that cover!
- It's a calendar! - Look, this one's reading the paper,
- What a cutie! - This one's wearing his little hat,
This one is facing sideways... Someone's putting something in his mouth?!
Man! What's happening to this world?!
I can't, man.
He's not charismatic at all.
No, he doesn't look like a nice guy.
Come here, kid! I have some candy!
Come receive the Body of Christ!
Here it is. The Trevi Fountain.
it gets crowded, just like a Chinese district.
Actually, an Indian district.
When night falls, Indians come out from everywhere.
They sell all kind of trinkets.
They sell that thingie that goes up, that laser thingie,
that gooey ball thingie,
and they have no target public!
They sell those toys to grandmas,
to adults, to any kind of tourist.
Look, he's gonna throw that crap.
What's up with that??
It's funny and weird.
They don't stop trying. Who do they think they're talking to?
We're Brazilian, born and raised in Rio,
and they want to more streetwise than us??
What's that?
I bought one.
- You bought one?! - You're kidding!
So we were walking around here...
...in the "Indian district".
Look what we found: an empty street,
with a candle path...
...that goes up to that restaurant.
We were discussing whether it's a roots restaurant or a fake one for tourists.
If it has a multilanguage menu, it's fake.
I think it's fake roots.
Let's check it out, then.
Are you into santeria?
Let's see.
Roots or fake?
[NOT FAKE.]
I did not know men could build things like that.
[THE COLOSSEUM] It's a Gladiator quote every minute.
It's even more amazing here.
I've seen it a million times on film and in pictures,
but the actual monument...
Holy ***, it's gigantic.
Gigantic, colossal, breathtaking.
It has been here for almost 2,000 years.
Holy ***.
[WALL-CLIMBING TUTORIAL BY ALOTTONI]
There's an interesting story behind all these holes in the Colosseum walls.
They used bronze to join the stones together.
In the Middle Ages, metal was something extremely rare and valuable.
So people started making holes in the Colosseum...
...searching for those bronze pieces.
Check out the underground structure.
It's much taller, isn't it?
- I thought it was all narrow! - I didn't think it was that tall.
The stairs are really leaned backwards!
If you lose your step here...
You'd be screwed!
Let me see if I can show what it's like.
Totally leaned!
That leaning demands some effort.
Where can I throw up?
[EXTREME NERD MOMENT]
[EXTREME NERD MOMENT]
So, as most nerds probably already know, this is the arena.
It's worth noting that "arena" is Latin for "sand".
- Yeah, in Latin. - There you go!
- It had that structure... - In Spanish!
- In Spanish?! - You're from Spain!
In Latin, wacko! Who spoke Spanish in ancient Rome??
- That doesn't concern you! - Maximus. He was from "España".
With an Italian accent!
That was the underground. It was under the stage.
It's worth mentioning that nobody was ever down there.
There were no lions pooping or gladiators playing chess or backgammon there.
- They stayed outside. - Right, outside the Colosseum!
There were zoos, gladiator schools and the tunnels, which led down here.
They only came when it was showtime.
Over there, you can see part of the stage.
They rebuilt the scaffold. Very cool!
It gives you an idea of the size of the arena.
So there was this wooden structure, which could hold an elephant,
which is unbelievably amazing,
covered with sand, to give it that "roots" look and feel.
Maybe because it made it easier to clean the blood.
Just throw some sand on it.
And there were the trapdoors, from which... "Ooooh, elephants!".
I pity the guys who lifted the elephants.
*** unbelievable!
Besides the rebuilt stage, there's also part of the bleacher seats.
Yeah! All marble stone, to avoid any *** burns.
And there, where that cross is now, is where the Emperor stayed.
You'd better film from the other side.
And there was a little wall over there, see?
You can see the wall was rebuilt.
There, where the stage is.
The archers stayed back there,
in case a lion or gladiator decided to hit one of the nobles,
who stayed down there, or even the Emperor.
In those cases, the archer shot'em up.
So *** cool!
There's something peculiar about the Colosseum.
These here are the original stones,
but all those little bricks...
All that was rebuilt after the Pope, 300 odd years ago,
declared the Colosseum as a sacred monument...
...dedicated to the Passion of Christ. OLD
OLD
So the Colosseum stopped being abused,
people stopped making holes in it to get the metal...
...and they started to rebuilt most of what had fallen by then.
A lot of people think, like I used to,
that the outside of the Colosseum fell to that side.
No, there!
I thought it had fallen because of an earthquake or something.
That wasn't it.
It was precisely due to the abuse it suffered from greedy people.
When Rome was decaying, there were no longer powerful families,
armies or a social organization to maintain Rome.
And Rome had so many riches that the Barbarian invasions...
...happened just like this.
They came in here and took whatever they wanted.
One of the things the barbarians did was destroy the aqueducts,
which brought water from the rivers into Rome.
So, the population of Rome decreased from 1,000,000 to less than 100,000,
because there was no water, no protection, no nothing.
Rome was decaying. It was very sad.
So, people just kept taking not only marble and statues,
but also the bronze, which was in the Colosseum's columns and walls.
Because of that, it fell after some time.
The Romans used Rome's buildings as quarries.
They destroyed monuments, temples,
everything, because they got the stones to build houses for themselves.
There was no one left to protect this damn thing.
Luckily, the Colosseum partially survived all that.
This is the Arch of Titus.
Oh, no. Enough of that!
I'm through with imagining. [USE YOUR IMAGINATION HERE!]
I'd like to see complete things! [USE YOUR IMAGINATION HERE!]
I'd like to see complete things!
What is this thing?
[THE PANTHEON]
Azaghal says he can't do his Life Commentary videolog...
...because he doesn't have a camera on him all the time.
That guy is making his own Life Commentary!
We're here in front of the Pantheon.
It was built in 126 AD.
A 2,000-year-old monument that's practically intact.
But there's a problem: all famous tourist attractions attract many tourists.
And it attracts all this brouhaha, like people singing at the square.
They're singing disco music!
It doesn't match the scenery! It's crazy!
And when night comes, there's all those Indians...
selling their trinkets and toys that jump up to the sky...
It kills the mood.
Look!
What's the context for that??
No! Don't encourage them!!
Gaveta, please give this scenery a different context!
Are they having lack of water problems?
Do they really have to put a bowl in there?
With just a little water?
This is pretty impressive.
It's the largest unsupported concrete dome in the world.
43m of diameter.
It's *** awesome.
The camera cannot make it justice.
It cannot capture the sensation of being in such a place.
It's completely unsupported. Very cool!
If it's unsupported, maybe those squares are helping it not collapse somehow?
No, those square concavities are not just for aesthetics.
They're structural concavities.
They're there precisely to make up for the weight of the concrete.
If the squares weren't there, the dome would be much heavier.
So they make the whole structure lighter.
Engineers say that it's such a well-done building that, nowadays,
you'd have to use computers to calculate all that.
They don't understand how this could have been built 2,000 years ago.
All by hand, man!
No computers!
The only reason for the Pantheon to be so well-preserved nowadays,
the most well-preserved Roman structure of all,
is that it has been kept in use during all those years.
It has been a Roman temple, then a church...
It's a church nowadays.
It has always been used.
- That made all the difference. - Otherwise it would be completely destroyed.
This exact spot is the center of this place.
That's where the Gods enlighten Man from.
Lemme see it!
[NAVONA SQUARE] Brazil!
[NAVONA SQUARE] Remember that ARG we did at this square?
Yeah! That's the Brazilian Embassy!
It was once the Pope's house!
The Angels and Demons ARG!
Itamar Franco (ex-Brazilian president) has lived there!
There was a clue over there, remember? You had to go to that street!
You had to go down this street and arrive here!
And you had to find that restaurant! It was that one!
Remember those grids on the windows?
Holy *** that's awesome!
4 Colonne restaurante, that's the one!
That was the solution for the ARG!
We've been here so many times through Google Maps,
- because of the ARG... - It's so cool to be here in person!
- This place is wicked! - It is!
Do you know why this square is called Novona?
It's the newest square in Italy.
NEWvona, get it??
Food in Italy is such a traditional thing,
they have plush sandwiches for kids!
- Where? - In that doll's hand!
- Holy crap!! - Wow, it's made of plush!
The dolls here don't hold no lollipops or candy,
- No, give'em a sandwich! - No, they hold a monster sandwich!
A sliced bread plush sandwich!
- Plush salami sandwich, plush salami... - There's a plush salad, too.
Plush salad, plush cake, a plush ***, to make all that crap...
There's a plush chicken inside the microwave!
It should be like in The Gladiator.
They choose the Indians and say:
You: laser toy. You: giant candy.
You: exploding pen. You: lollipop that goes up.
Each one of them selling a different thing.
Go! Release that piece of *** already!
Atta boy. Go get it.
Oh, now you're done for.
Now I'll have to pay.
[I WANT 1 EURO!] He got you.
[I WANT 1 EURO!]
Where are we now?
We're in the ending of the movie Angels and Demons
[VATICAN] In the holy Vatican!
In the holy Vatican!
And this here...
This is the long line to enter. It's a 2-and-a-half-hour wait...
...just to go in there. In the Basilica of St. Peter.
There's the fountain where Tom Hanks saved the priest.
Look at that!
But in the movie it's huge! Tom Hanks dives and swims in there.
Here, it's tiny.
When you arrive at any tourist attraction,
There's always a million guys trying to get you to join...
...a payed tour group a payed guide,
which, of course, is more expensive than the admittance fee.
So we always think about getting into that scheme,
- because it's hard to... - The best thing about having a payed guide...
is not the explanations about the places, which is cool and all,
- but skipping the line. - Skipping the gigantic line!
They actually skip the line.
- Exactly. - We haven't faced any lines until now.
You may be scared of getting into that scheme,
but it's often worth it.
But at first you should say that you're still thinking about it.
- Then, they start lowering the price. - When you're back, it went from 25 to 18 euros.
18, plus the admittance fee, that is.
[SISTINE CHAPEL]
[BASILICA OF ST. PETER]
[BASILICA OF ST. PETER] We're now entering the Basilica.
This is the best!
It's huge!
It's so, so huge!
This video doesn't make it justice.
The ceiling and the walls look endless.
It's really huge.
Thinks the human being can no longer make.
Yeah, never again.
I don't know if it's what they were going for when they built it,
but when you're in here, you really feel tiny.
That's probably the reason why these cathedrals and basilicas are so big.
So you'll feel humble before God.
When you're in here,
you're all like, "How can that be??".
Only God deserves a place this big.
There's this legend that says if you can climb over there...
- ...and hit that little heart, - Oh God, here it comes.
you'll destroy the entire basilica!
That's like its weak spot.
- It's the dragon's heart. - It's the basilica's heart!
Look! Is that sunlight?
No, it's the pulsating light of people's faith!
If you hit it with a sword...
That is La Pietra.
It's a sculpture by Michelangelo, one of his masterpieces.
He made it when he was only 24.
It's *** Mary holding Jesus. The level of detail is absurd.
That is the statue of St. Peter.
I think people touch its feet in order to get into Heaven or something.
No, they're asking for his blessing.
They touch the feet because they can't reach the face!
- Oh God... - If they could, he'd be beardless by now.
Come on guys, we're in God's house!
- Look how cute his feet are! - Oh, let's go touch them!
Check this one out!
Touch it!
This was not polished at all. It's like that because of the hands!
Now for the Swiss Guard's fashion parade!
This part of Rome is good for those who played Assassin's Creed.
If you did, you'll remember this scenery.
Remember this bridge? When you were going to the Vatican?
At the end of the bridge there's Castle Sant'Angelo!
It's that round fortress you have to disguise yourself...
...and blend in with the priests, because there are many guards on the bridge,
And you have to walk along the bridge,
quietly, until you invade the castle.
Over there! Climb that ledge!
After the bridge, there's the castle,
and back there,
the Vatican, the Basilica of St. Peter. Neat!
You know what that door's called?
GOTCHA!!
Come on, it was good!
Castle Sant'Angelo used to be Emperor Adrian and his family's tomb.
It's a Roman edification from around 129 AD.
It has been altered through time.
In the 14th century, an actual castle was built inside its ruins.
It was turned into a papal fortress.
The Pope ordered that a secret tunnel be built,
which went from the Basilica of St. Peter, from way back there, until here,
went through this medieval wall from below,
and whenever *** happened, he came here in secret,
as he would be much safer in the fortress.
That's really interesting!
[OSTIA - ITALY]
- What? - I'm not getting in there!
Go, go, go, go!
They should put some blueprints here. "This used to be the kitchen" and stuff.
I like it when they show it in detail--
If I push this rock that way,
am I altering the archeological site?
No, don't do that!
You've just ruined history, Azaghal!
The floor is completely preserved here.
You can't even step on it.
Apparently this used to be the wall of a house.
And here... "Decumanus Maximus!"
This used to be Maximus' house!
- You don't even know what's written there! - It's Maximus' house!
[Wikipedia: Decumanus (Latin pl.: decumani) In Roman city planning, a decumanus was an east-west-oriented road. The main decumanus was the Decumanus Maximus.]
No! It's the guy's name! Let's go into his house. Excuse me, mr. Maximus!
You gotta hire a gardener, mr. Maximus!
- Is it really Maximus' house? - Yeah! Decumanus Maximus!
I dunno! Whatever, it's Maximus'!
Agatha didn't find it so impressive.
Well, it's got somebody's name on it, so it's probably something!
Maybe it's Sir McSeemuss.
How did we find this place?
We were going from Rome to Pompeii, but then, after some research,
we learned it'd be a 2h30min. trip, by car or train.
So, it'd be 5 whole hours of a day dedicated to that.
And that's just the trip!
On the internet, some people said that...
...if you don't want to spend a whole day in Pompeii,
you should go to Ostia Antica.
"The old waffle". I mean, "wafer".
As Amaury Junior [TV host] says when he corrects himself... "Wafer!".
This used to be a Roman port town. The first one.
It's completely preserved. This is a great option if you...
don't want to go all the way to Pompeii, which is a more famous city.
You can see this humongous archeological site.
It's a 30-minute trip by train or car from Rome.
It's ridiculously easy to arrive here.
There's a lot to see. Look at this anfitheatre.
Check this out! Usually the seats have no marble, but these seats do!
- There's a piece of a marble step over there... - This is marble!
Imagine what it was like when it rained. That's a real show!
Wicked, man!
What's this week's little question, centurion Azaghal?
- When in Rome... - When in Rome... right?
..."Chester Perdigão est."
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 6] ..."Chester Perdigão est."
[PROVERBS ABOUT "ROME": 6] What?!
We shall have Chester.
Of "coursius"!
"Degustativus Chester."
"Chester Perdigão est."
- "Ave Chester"? - Wait, you didn't know about that??
- "Ave Chester"? - You've never seen that ad?!
Of course! I even mentioned "Ave Chester"!
"Chester Perdigão est."
Oh, I get it! So they said that in the ad?
- Yes, they did! - All right.
That's all I know about Romans.
All right. Now what'll be the question?
What is the soundtrack...
...of your life?
Exciting music!
You don't know that! Maybe the person's depressed.
- So that person's soundtrack is All By Myself? - Yeah!
Maybe it's a lonely person that likes that song. You can't judge them for that.
All right. What is the soundtrack of your life?
[HOW MANY PUNS CAN YOU MAKE WITH THE WORD "PROMETHEUS"?]
[MILLIONS!]
[THE MOVIE SHOULD BE ABOUT A "PROM MEETING US"!]
[IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE, IT'S YOUR PROBLEMETHEUS!]
Subtitles by Fabio Lima - @fabiopl