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AAH!
WEE-BE-BE-BEE.
Kuzco: WILL YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THAT?
PRETTY PATHETIC, HUH?
WELL, YOU'LL NEVER
BUT THAT LLAMA YOU'RE LOOKING AT
BEING.
AND NOT JUST ANY HUMAN BEING.
THAT GUY WAS AN EMPEROR.
A RICH, POWERFUL BALL OF CHARISMA.
THIS IS HIS STORY.
[CRYING]
WELL, ACTUALLY MY STORY.
THAT'S RIGHT-- I'M THAT LLAMA.
THE NAME IS KUZCO...
EMPEROR KUZCO.
I WAS THE WORLD'S NICEST GUY,
AND THEY RUINED MY LIFE FOR NO REASON.
OH, IS THAT HARD TO BELIEVE?
LOOK, I TELL YOU WHAT. YOU GO BACK AWAYS--
YOU KNOW, BEFORE I WAS A LLAMA,
AND THIS WILL ALL MAKE SENSE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW SEE, THAT'S A LITTLE TOO FAR BACK.
OH, HO! LOOK AT ME!
THAT'S ME AS A BABY.
WAAH!
AHEM! ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE AHEAD.
OH, YEAH.
Theme Song Guy: ♪ THERE ARE DESPOTS AND DICTATORS ♪
♪ POLITICAL MANIPULATORS ♪
♪ THERE ARE BLUE BLOODS WITH THE INTELLECTS OF FLEAS ♪
♪ THERE ARE KINGS AND CATTY TYRANTS ♪
♪ WHO ARE SO LACKING IN REFINEMENTS ♪
♪ THEY'D BE BETTER SUITED SWINGING FROM THE TREES ♪
♪ HE WAS BORN AND RAISED TO RULE ♪
♪ NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN AS COOL ♪
♪ IN A THOUSAND YEARS OF ARISTOCRACY ♪
[SHIP'S HORN BLOWS]
♪ AN ENIGMA AND A MYSTERY ♪
♪ IN MESOAMERICAN HISTORY ♪
♪ THE QUINTESSENCE OF PERFECTION THAT IS HE ♪
Kuzco: OK, THIS IS THE REAL ME.
NOT THIS.
NOT THIS.
LOSER.
OK, SEE THIS PALACE?
EVERYONE IN IT IS AT MY COMMAND.
CHECK THIS OUT.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
BUTLER.
CHEF.
THEME SONG GUY.
OH, YEAH!
♪ HE'S THE SOVEREIGN LORD OF THE NATION ♪
♪ HE'S THE HIPPEST CAT IN CREATION ♪
♪ HE'S THE ALPHA, THE OMEGA, A TO Z ♪
[SNAPS FINGERS]
♪ AND THIS PERFECT WORLD
♪ AROUND HIS EVERY LITTLE WHIM ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THIS PERFECT WORLD BEGINS AND ENDS WITH ♪
ME.
♪ WHAT'S HIS NAME? ♪
♪ KUZCO ♪♪
♪ THAT'S HIS NAME ♪
Chorus: ♪ KUZCO ♪
♪ HE'S THE KING OF THE WORLD ♪
Chorus: ♪ KUZCO ♪
♪ IS HE HIP OR WHAT? ♪
Chorus: ♪ KUZCO ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
[TIRES SKIDDING]
GOW!
YOU THREW OFF MY GROOVE!
Guard: I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'VE THROWN OFF
THE EMPEROR'S GROOVE.
SORRY!
YOU WERE SAYING?
♪ WHAT'S HIS NAME? KUZCO ♪
Chorus: ♪ KUZCO ♪
Theme Song Guy: ♪ THAT'S HIS NAME ♪
♪ IS HE HIP OR WHAT? ♪
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW HE'S THE KING OF THE WORLD? ♪
♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪
♪ OWW! ♪
HA!
BOOM, BABY!
AAH! YOUR HIGHNESS,
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDE.
Kuzco: ALL RIGHTY.
TROT OUT THE LADIES.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK-SEE.
HATE YOUR HAIR. NOT LIKELY.
YIKES, YIKES, YIKES,
AND LET ME GUESS.
YOU HAVE A GREAT PERSONALITY.
IS THIS REALLY THE BEST YOU COULD DO?
OH, YES. OH, NO. I MEAN, PERHAPS--
Kuzco: WHAT IS HE BABBLING ABOUT?
HE'S LIKE THE THING THAT WOULDN'T SHUT UP.
ANYWAY, STILL WONDERING ABOUT THAT LLAMA IN THE OPENING?
WELL, LET ME SHOW YOU THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE
FOR RUINING MY LIFE.
FIRST, THERE'S PACHA.
UH, EXCUSE ME.
I'M HERE TO SEE EMPEROR KUZCO.
YOU SEE, I GOT THIS SUMMONS--
Guard: INSIDE, UP THE STAIRS, AND TO THE LEFT.
JUST FOLLOW THE SIGNS.
OH, GREAT. THANKS A LOT.
Kuzco: UH, AND DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE FOLKSY PEASANT LOOK.
OH!
Old man: PARDON ME. THAT'S MINE
OH, HERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
AAH! OH, HEY. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
HERE. LET ME, UH--
OH, YOU'RE SO VERY KIND.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, I...
I THREW OFF THE EMPEROR'S GROOVE.
HIS GROOVE!
THE RHYTHM IN WHICH HE LIVES HIS LIFE,
HIS PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR.
I THREW IT OFF,
AND THE EMPEROR HAD ME THROWN OUT THE WINDOW.
[GASPS] OH, REALLY?
I'M SUPPOSED TO SEE HIM TODAY.
DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE!
OH, OK.
BEWARE THE GROOVE.
HEY, ARE YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
GROOVE.
Kuzco: YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
THIS GUY'S TROUBLE, BUT AS BAD AS HE IS,
RED NEXT.
Yzma: AND WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE TODAY?
Peasant: WELL...
YOUR HIGHNESS-- I MEAN, YOUR GRACE.
Kuzco: OK, GANG. CHECK OUT THIS PIECE OF WORK.
THIS IS YZMA, THE EMPEROR'S ADVISOR--
LIVING PROOF THAT DINOSAURS ONCE ROAMED THE EARTH.
AND LET'S NOT FORGET YZMA'S RIGHT-HAND MAN.
EVERY DECADE OR SO SHE GETS A NEW ONE.
THIS YEAR'S MODEL IS CALLED KRONK.
[FLY BUZZING]
YEAH, I GOT THAT THERE, YZMA.
[BUZZING]
Kuzco: YEP, THAT'S KRONK.
NOW LATELY, YZMA'S GOTTEN INTO THIS BAD HABIT
OF TRYING TO RUN THE COUNTRY BEHIND MY BACK,
AND I'M THINKIN' THAT'S GOT TO STOP.
IT IS NO CONCERN OF MINE
WHETHER YOUR FAMILY HAS...
WHAT WAS IT AGAIN?
UM, FOOD.
HA! YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT
BEFORE YOU BECAME PEASANTS.
WE'RE THROUGH HERE.
TAKE HIM AWAY. NEXT!
BUT I--
OH, OK.
UGH.
Kuzco: THE NERVE OF SOME OF THOSE PEASANTS, HUH?
TELL ME ABOUT IT. AAH!
HI THERE.
OOH, YOUR HIGHNESS.
AHEM.
OH, OH, OH, HA HA HA. UM...
UH, YOU WERE DOING IT AGAIN.
DOING? DOING... DOING WHAT?
DOING MY JOB.
I'M THE EMPEROR,
AND YOU'RE THE EMPEROR'S ADVISOR.
REMEMBER THAT?
BUT, YOUR HIGHNESS,
I WAS ONLY DEALING WITH MATTERS.
Kuzco: WHOA.
LOOK AT THESE WRINKLES.
WHAT IS HOLDING THIS WOMAN TOGETHER?
WHAT THE--
HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN THERE?
Kronk: GOOD THINKIN', YZMA.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, KUZCO?
WHOA! NO TOUCHY!
NO TOUCHY. NO TOUCH.
Servant: EXCUSE ME, YOUR HIGHNESS.
THE VILLAGE LEADER IS HERE TO SEE YOU.
OH, GREAT. SEND HIM IN.
OH, AND BY THE WAY, YOU'RE FIRED.
FIRED?
W-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FIRED?
UM, HOW ELSE CAN I SAY IT?
YOU'RE BEING LET GO,
YOUR DEPARTMENT'S BEING DOWNSIZED,
YOU'RE PART OF AN OUTPLACEMENT,
WE'RE GOING IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION,
WE'RE NOT PICKING UP YOUR OPTION...
TAKE YOUR PICK. I GOT MORE.
BUT I--YOU--UH--
BUT--BUT, YOUR HIGHNESS,
I HAVE BEEN NOTHING IF NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPIRE
FOR--FOR--FOR MANY, MANY YEARS.
HEY, HEY, EVERYBODY HITS THEIR STRIDE.
YOU JUST HIT YOURS 50 YEARS AGO.
Kronk: OH, OH! I KNOW!
YZMA.
YZMA'S IN YOUR CHAIR, RIGHT?
VERY GOOD, KRONK.
HERE. GET THE SNACK.
GOT IT!
UNH! OOF!
OK, YOU HEARD THE MAN.
UP, UP, UP.
Kronk: I'M OK. I'M FINE.
[SNARLING]
AH.
OK. SHOW HIM IN.
AHEM.
UH, AFTERNOON, HIGHNESS.
I'M HERE BECAUSE I RECEIVED A SUMMONS--
Kuzco: HEY, THERE HE IS!
MY MAIN VILLAGE MAN.
UM, PACHA.
ANYWAY, I GOT THIS SUMMONS--
PACHA.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU ARE JUST THE MAN I WANTED TO SEE.
I AM?
WORD ON THE STREET IS OU CAN FIX MY PROBLEM.
YOU CAN FIX MY PROBLEM CAN'T YOU?
SURE. I'LL DO WHAT I CAN.
GOOD, GOOD. THAT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR.
ARE YOU AWARE OF JUST HOW IMPORTANT
YOUR VILLAGE IS TO THE EMPIRE?
WELL, I KNOW WE GROW THE CROPS
THAT YOU USE HERE AT THE PALACE.
WE ALSO HERD THE LLAMAS THAT YOU--
MY VILLAGE?
OH, YEAH.
YOU GOT A PRETTY SWEET LITTLE SETUP THERE
ON TOP OF THAT HILL, DON'T YOU? HA HA HA!
YEAH. MY FAMILY HAS LIVED ON THAT HILLTOP
FOR THE LAST 6 GENERATIONS.
-HUH.
SO TELL ME,
WHERE DO YOU FIND YOU GET THE MOST SUN?
OH, I'D SAY
JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THOSE TREES.
WHEN THE SUN HITS THAT RIDGE JUST RIGHT,
THESE HILLS SING.
WELL, THAT SETTLES IT.
REALLY?
YEP. PROBLEM SOLVED.
THANKS FOR COMING.
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S ALL YOU WANTED ME FOR?
I JUST NEEDED AN INSIDER'S OPINION
BEFORE I OK'd THIS SPOT FOR MY POOL.
UH...YOUR POOL?
BOO-YAH!
WELCOME TO KUZCOTOPIA,
MY ULTIMATE SUMMER GETAWAY
COMPLETE WITH WATER SLIDE.
WHAT?
ISN'T IT GREAT?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO ME. HA!
I'M SO HAPPY.
UH...UH...
UM...I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN.
WELL, LET ME CLEAR IT UP FOR YOU.
AT MY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION TOMORROW,
I GIVE THE WORD,
AND YOUR TOWN WILL BE DESTROYED
TO MAKE WAY FOR THIS...
[HUMS CARNIVAL TUNE]
SO, IF I WERE YOU,
I'D PICK UP SOME CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS FORMS
ON THE WAY HOME.
BUT, UM, WHERE WILL WE LIVE?
HMM...
DON'T KNOW, DON'T CARE.
HOW'S THAT?
OH, BUT WAIT. YOU CAN'T--
WHEN I GIVE THE WORD,
YOUR LITTLE TOWN THINGY WILL BE BYE-BYE.
BYE-BYE!
OH, W-- WAIT. NO--
HEH HEH. BOOHOO.
Kuzco: OH, YEAH. EVERYTHING WAS GOIN' MY WAY.
Kuzco: OR SO I THOUGHT.
HE CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY.
WHO DOES THAT UNGRATEFUL LITTLE WORM THINK HE IS?
DOES HE...
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT.
...HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHO HE'S DEALING WITH?
HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?
WHY, I PRACTICALLY RAISED HIM.
YEAH, YOU THINK HE WOULD'VE TURNED OUT BETTER.
YEAH, GO FIGURE.
WELL, IT'S BETTER YOU'RE TAKIN' OUT YOUR ANGER
ON THESE THINGS INSTEAD OF THE REAL KUZCO, HUH?
[GASPS] THAT'S IT, KRONK!
[CRASH]
I'LL GET RID OF KUZCO. HA HA HA HA HA!
THE REAL KUZCO?
OF COURSE THE REAL KUZCO.
DON'T YOU SEE? IT'S PERFECT.
WITH HIM OUT OF THE WAY AND NO HEIR TO THE THRONE,
I'LL TAKE OVER AND RULE THE EMPIRE.
BRILLIANT!
SO HOW DOES THAT WORK
WITH YOU BEIN' FIRED AND ALL?
THE ONLY ONES WHO KNOW ABOUT THAT ARE THE THREE OF US,
SOON TO BE THE TWO OF US.
AND I'M ONE OF THOSE TWO, RIGHT?
TO THE SECRET LAB!
PULL THE LEVER, KRONK.
Yzma: WRONG LEVER!
[SPLASH]
HUH?
WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THAT LEVER?
[YELPS]
GET OUT OF MY WAY!
Skull: PLEASE REMAIN SEATED
AND KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS IN AT ALL TIMES.
Yzma: WHEE!
Kronk: FASTER, FASTER!
YZMA, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!
Kronk: WHOO-HOO! WHOO-HOO!
AH, HOW SHALL I DO IT?
OH, I KNOW.
Yzma: I'LL TURN HIM INTO A FLEA,
A HARMLESS LITTLE FLEA,
AND THEN I'LL PUT THAT FLEA IN A BOX,
AND THEN I'LL PUT THAT BOX INSIDE OF ANOTHER BOX,
AND THEN I'LL MAIL THAT BOX TO MYSELF,
AND WHEN IT ARRIVES,
AH HA HA HA!
I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!
IT'S BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, I TELL YOU!
GENIUS, I SAY!
OR, TO SAVE ON POSTAGE,
I'LL JUST POISON HIM WITH THIS.
TAKE IT, KRONK.
OH HO HO HO. FEEL THE POWER.
OH...
I CAN FEEL IT.
OUR MOMENT OF TRIUMPH APPROACHES.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
IT'S DINNER TIME.
SO...IS EVERYTHING READY FOR TONIGHT?
OH, YEAH. I THOUGHT WE'D START OFF
WITH SOUP AND A LIGHT SALAD
AND THEN SEE HOW WE FEEL AFTER THAT.
NOT THE DINNER...
THE YOU KNOW.
OH, RIGHT. THE POISON--
THE POISON FOR KUZCO,
THE POISON CHOSEN SPECIALLY TO KILL KUZCO,
KUZCO'S POISON.
THAT POISON?
YES! THAT POISON.
GOT YOU COVERED.
EXCELLENT.
A FEW DROPS IN HIS DRINK,
THEN I'LL PROPOSE A TOAST,
AND HE WILL BE DEAD BEFORE DESSERT.
WHICH IS A REAL SHAME,
BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE DELICIOUS.
[DOOR BANGS OPEN]
BY!
Kuzco: LET'S GET TO THE GRUB.
I AM ONE HUNGRY KING OF THE WORLD.
SO...NO HARD FEELINGS ABOUT BEING LET GO?
NONE WHATSOEVER.
KRONK, GET THE EMPEROR A DRINK.
DRINK. RIGHT.
[POURING DRINK]
[OPENING POISON STOPPER]
[POURS POISON IN DRINK]
[EXPLOSION]
YOUR HIGHNESS.
[SNIFFS]
IS SOMETHING BURNING?
[GASPS] MY SPINACH PUFFS!
[TWANGS FORK]
AHEM.
SO...HE SEEMS...
NICE.
HEH. HE IS.
HE'S WHAT, IN HIS LATE TWENTIES?
HEH HEH. I'M NOT SURE.
SAVED 'EM!
Yzma: GREAT!
VERY GOOD JOB.
WATCH IT. THEY'RE STILL HOT.
AHEM.
AHEM!
HEH HEH HEH.
KRONK. THE EMPEROR
NEEDS HIS... DRINK.
RIGHT. OH. RIGHT.
HEY, KRONKY, EVERYTHING OK BACK THERE?
WELL, HEH.
OH, UH...
OOH. THE DRINKS WERE A BIT ON THE...
HMM...
OH...UGH...WARM SIDE.
HEH HEH.
HEY, DID YOU SEE THAT SKY TODAY?
TALK ABOUT BLUE.
HA HA HA. YES, KRONK.
RIVETING.
A TOAST TO THE EMPEROR!
LONG LIVE KUZCO!
[UNDER HIS BREATH] DON'T DRINK THE WINE.
[COUGHING] POISON.
AH! TASTY.
Yzma: FINALLY! HA HA HA!
GOOD WORK, KRONK.
OH, THEY'RE SO EASY TO MAKE.
I'LL GET YOU THE RECIPE.
NOW TO GET RID OF THE BODY.
OK! WHAT WERE WE SAYING?
UH...WE WERE JUST MAKING A TOAST
Yzma: TO YOUR LONG AND...
Yzma: ...HEALTHY RULE.
RIGHT. SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
BEEN G TIME,
AND I REALLY MEAN A LONG TIME. UM...
AHEM. [HUMMING]
Kuzco: IT MIGHT BE DIFFICULT
FOR SOMEONE OF YOUR AGE
ADJUSTING TO LIFE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR.
HEY, KRONK, CAN YOU TOP ME OFF, PAL?
BE A FRIEND? HEH HEH.
[YZMA MUTTERING]
Kuzco: NOW, ABOUT YOU FINDING NEW WORK...
HIT HIM ON THE HEAD.
...THAT'S--THAT'S GONNA BE TOUGH.
MORE BROCCOLI?
...BECAUSE YOU'RE... YOU KNOW.
LET'S FACE IT. YOU'RE NO SPRING CHICKEN,
AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY.
WHAT? A LLAMA?
HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!
YEAH, WEIRD.
LET ME SEE THAT VIAL
THIS ISN'T POISON.
THIS IS EXTRACT OF LLAMA. UGH!
YOU KNOW, IN MY DEFENSE,
YOUR POISONS ALL LOOK ALIKE.
RELABELING SOME OF THEM.
TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB NOW!
WHAT ABOUT DINNER?
KRONK, THIS IS KIND OF IMPORTANT.
HOW ABOUT DESSERT?
WELL, I SUPPOSE THERE'S TIME FOR DESSERT.
AND COFFEE?
ALL RIGHT. A QUICK CUP OF COFFEE.
THEN TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB!
[KRONK SINGING JAZZ SCAT]
Kronk: ♪ CHA CHA CHA CHA ♪
Kuzco: GUESS WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW.
UH-HUH. IN THE BAG.
STILL THINK I'M NOT THE VICTIM HERE?
WATCH. IT GETS BETTER.
♪ HEY! BA-DA BA-DA BA-DA-DA ♪
Kuzco: UGH, HE'S DOING HIS OWN THEME MUSIC?
[HOLDS NOTE]
♪ BA-DA BA-DA BA-DA BA ♪
♪ BA-DA-BA ♪
TONE DEAF.
THIS.
Kronk: HUHH!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Kronk angel: YOU'RE NT JUST GONNA LET HIM
DIE LIKE THAT, ARE YOU?
MY SHOULDER ANGEL.
Kronk devil: DON'T LISTEN TO THAT GUY.
HE'S TRYING TO LEAD YOU
DOWN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.
I'M GONNA LEAD YOU DOWN THE PATH THAT ROCKS.
OH, COME OFF IT.
YOU COME OFF IT!
YOU.
YOU INFINITY.
UHH!
LISTEN UP, BIG GUY.
I GOT 3 GOOD REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD JUST WALK AWAY.
"NUMBER ONE..."
LOOK AT THAT GUY!
HE'S GOT THAT SISSY STRINGY MUSIC THING.
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.
IT'S A HARP, AND YOU KNOW IT.
OH, RIGHT. THAT'S A HARP...
SS.
ROBE!
REASON NUMBER 2.
LOOK WHAT I CAN DO.
HA HA HA!
BUT...WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
NO, NO. HE'S GOT A POINT.
LISTEN, YOU GUYS.
YOU'RE SORT OF CONFUSING ME, SO BEGONE!
UH, OR, UH, YOU KNOW.
HOWEVER I GET RID OF YOU GUYS.
THAT'LL WORK.
Kuzco: UM, WHAT'S WITH THE CHIMP AND THE BUG?
CAN WE GET BACK TO ME?
OH, BOY. THINK, THINK, THINK.
WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO?
WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE BODY?
[SIGHS]
WHAT AM I GONNA TELL THE VILLAGE?
COME ON, KRONKY. COME ON, KRONKY. OK.
Kronk: WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?
[MRREOWW]
Kronk: BACK! ELBOW! SHOULDER!
[MEOW]
[GASPS]
OH. HEY! HEY, YOU!
Kronk: HEY! EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
STOP! PARDON ME. EXCUSE ME. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
COMIN' THROUGH. HEY, YOU WITH THE CART!
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
UHH. HOPE THAT DOESN'T COME BACK TO HAUNT ME.
Tipo: MOM, MOM! I THINK I'M STILL GROWING!
MEASURE ME AGAIN!
Chicha: HA! ALL RIGHT, TIPO.
STAND STILL AND LET'S SEE.
MOM, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW
THAT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM
TO HAVE GROWN IN THE LAST 5 MINUTES.
MMM! MMM!
ISN'T IT?
[GASPS] LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE GROWN!
WHAT? TIPO, GET OUT OF THE WAY.
IT'S MY TURN AGAIN. MEASURE ME.
DAD'S HOME!
[KIDS LAUGHING]
HEY, HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
Pacha: COME HERE. HA HA HA!
[ALL THREE LAUGHING]
DAD! I ATE A BUG TODAY!
OH! WAS MOM BAKING AGAIN?
HEH. DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT.
Chicha: I HEARD THAT.
OK, EVERYBODY, MOVE ASIDE.
LADY WITH A BABY COMIN' THROUGH.
DAD, DAD, DAD!
LOOK AT HOW BIG I AM!
WE WERE ALL MEASURED TODAY.
OH.
I'M GOING THROUGH A GROWTH SPURT.
I'M AS BIG AS YOU WERE
WHEN YOU WERE ME.
MM-HMM.
THAT'S NOT AS IMPRESSIVE AS MY LOOSE TOOTH. SEE?
OK, OK, YOU TWO.
OUR DEAL WAS THAT YOU COULD STAY AWAKE
UNTIL DADDY CAME HOME.
NOW SAY GOOD NIGHT.
Both: DAD, DO WE HAVE TO?
[WHIMPERING]
NO, YOU TWO CAN STAY UP.
WE'RE JUST GONNA BE SITTIN' HERE TELLIN' EACH OTHER
HOW MUCH WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
RIGHT, HONEY?
[COOS]
BLECCH!
Both: GOOD NIGHT.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
SO WHAT DID THE EMPEROR WANT?
AHEM.
YOU KNOW WHAT? HE COULDN'T SEE ME.
COULDN'T SEE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, THAT'S JUST RUDE.
WELL, HE IS THE EMPEROR.
I'M SURE HE'S BUSY.
NO, NO, NO,
EMPEROR OR NO EMPEROR, IT'S CALLED COMMON COURTESY.
HONEY...
IF THAT WERE ME, I'D MARCH RIGHT BACK THERE
AND DEMAND TO SEE HIM, AND YOU KNOW I WOULD.
SWEETIE, SWEETIE, THINK OF THE BABY.
PACHA, I'M FINE.
THIS BABY'S NOT COMING
BUT EVEN IF IT WAS,
I'D GIVE THAT GUY A PIECE OF MY MIND.
THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR JUST--JUST--
UHH! [SNARLS]
I GOTTA GO WASH SOMETHING.
PACHA?
YOU OK?
HMM?
OH, YEAH. I'M JUST A LITTLE TIRED FROM THE TRIP.
UM...I'M GONNA GO PUT MISTY AWAY.
UH, HEH HEH. HI. EXCUSE ME.
2 SECONDS HERE.
UM, I'M THE ONE IN THE CART. REMEMBER?
THIS STORY'S ABOUT ME, NOT HIM.
OK. YOU GOT IT? ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA MOVE AHEAD. SORRY TO SLOW YOU DOWN.
HEH HEH HEH.
HUH?
WHOA.
UHH. OH.
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM, LITTLE GUY?
NO TOUCHY.
AAH! DEMON LLAMA!
DEMON LLAMA? WHERE?
AAH!
[PANTING]
OH, NO! OH, NO! OH, NO! OOH HOO HOO!
OW! OW, MY HEAD.
OK, DEMON LLAMA.
JUST TAKE IT EASY.
I MEAN YOU NO HARM.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT--
OH, WAIT. I KNOW YOU.
YOU'RE THAT WHINY PEASANT.
[GASPS]
EMPEROR KUZCO?
YEAH. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU WERE TALKIN' TO?
UH...HOW DID--
UM...
YOU DON'T...
LOOK LIKE THE EMPEROR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T LOOK LIKE THE EMPEROR?
UH...OH...
DO THIS...
WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF LITTLE GAME
YOU COUNTRY FOLK LIKE TO--
AAH! IT CAN'T BE! AAH!
MY FACE! AAH! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL FACE!
OK, OK, OK.
I'M AN UGLY, STINKY LLAMA!
WAIT, OK, YOUR MAJESTY.
SHH!
WHAT HAPPENED?
I'M TRYIN' TO FIGURE THAT OUT, OK?
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
OHH-HO!
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I REMEMBER YOU.
I REMEMBER TELLING YOU
THAT I WAS BUILDING MY POOL
WHERE YOUR HOUSE WAS,
AND THEN YOU GOT MAD AT ME.
OHH!
AND YOU TURNED ME INTO A LLAMA!
WHAT? NO, I DID NOT.
YES, AND THEN YOU KIDNAPPED ME.
WHY WOULD I KIDNAP A LLAMA?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
YOU'RE THE CRIMINAL MASTERMIND, NOT ME.
WHAT?
HMM. YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'S GIVING YOU WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT.
OK. I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE PALACE.
AB."
I'LL JUST SNAP MY FINGERS
AND ORDER HER TO CHANGE ME BACK.
HEY, YOU. NO TIME TO WASTE.
LET'S GO.
HEY, TINY, I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS BODY.
BUILD YOUR SUMMERHOUSE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
YOU WANT TO RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN?
I CAN'T LET YOU GO BACK
UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND
AND BUILD YOUR SUMMER HOME SOMEWHERE ELSE.
HMM. I GOT A LITTLE SECRET FOR YOU.
COME HERE. NO, CLOSER.
I DON'T MAKE DEALS WITH PEASANTS!
THEN I GUESS I CAN'T TAKE YOU BACK.
FINE. I DON'T NEED YOU.
I CAN FIND MY OWN WAY BACK.
I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT.
IT'S A LITTLE DANGEROUS IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE WAY.
NICE TRY, PAL.
NO, REALLY. I'M TELLING YOU,
Pacha: THERE ARE JAGUARS AND SNAKES
AND QUICKSAND.
[HIGH VOICE] I'M NOT LISTENING.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
LISTEN, YOU CANNOT GO IN THERE.
♪ LA LA LA LA ♪
OH. HEH HEH. STILL NOT LISTENING.
AW, YOU...
FINE. FINE.
GO AHEAD!
IF THERE'S NO KUZCO,
THERE'S NO KUZCOTOPIA.
TAKES CARE OF MY PROBLEM.
HMM.