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How to Blow Someone Off. A persistent suitor is flattering until you start worrying about
coming home to a scene from _Fatal Attraction_. You will need Acting skills Cell phone and
common sense. Step 1. Turn them down -- and this is key -- _without offering a reason_.
You can’t tell the truth -- that you’d rather have dinner with a convict -- and they’ll
just try to argue whatever excuse you offer. If you already committed to a date and then
changed your mind, call them at the last possible moment and claim you’re “kind of not feeling
great” or “got busy.” Step 2. If your firm “No, thank you” didn’t work, ask
them if they’re a Democrat or a Republican -- then pretend to be a die-hard member of
the opposite party. If they’re a Democrat, say you love Ann Coulter. If they’re a Republican,
say you adore Hillary Clinton. Step 3. Repeat this contrary tactic by asking their take
on as many topics as possible. Whatever their answer, roll your eyes and intone, “Wrong.”
Step 4. Develop a sudden hearing problem. Keep asking, “What?” making them repeat
everything six times. Ignore some things altogether, as if you just can’t be bothered straining
to hear any longer. When you offer a response, make it a wacky non sequitur. For example,
if they ask what you majored in, say, “I’ve been speaking in tongues since the fifth grade.”
Step 5. Whip out your cell phone and start ignoring them as you check messages and text
friends. Every once in a while, look up and laugh, as if you’re making fun of them.
Step 6. Still can’t shake them? Disappear. Get away from them, don’t answer your phone,
don’t reply to emails. Anyone who’d still be hanging in at this point is either a complete
wacko or the most clueless human in the world. Did you know Nearly half of singles agree
-- the best way to kill a conversation with a date is to talk about your past relationships.