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I think one of our main faults in life is always trying to be profound.
We spend our lives trying to say something wise or "do something worth doing", so to say.
We strive for money.
or fame. Attention.
I'm not going to sit here and say that greed is the root of all evil, although I can see
that view. I think in the process of trying to be this
super special person, we lose touch of what actually makes us special.
To add a cliché, everyone is special without having to create something that lasts "forever".
We think of names that everyone knows -- Elvis
Ghandi Even that Charles Manson guy who I always
get mixed up with Marilyn Mason and feel bad because I get Marilyn Manson mixed up with
Marilyn Monroe and she's not a murderer and I hate thinking that about her.
They made a footprint in what our society is and I think we strive to be like them.
Well, not like Charles Manson, I hope -- but he did leave his footprint.
But at the end of the day, this long metaphorical day that lasts beyond our time for hundreds,
thousands of years, they won't matter anymore than the footprint that you left.
I guess the moral of the story is that you won't matter, regardless of what you do.
That took a sad turn. But the happy part --
The only thing that lasts your entire lifetime, every waking second --you- exist is yourself.
Who do you have to impress but yourself?
I'm guilty of this whole "I need to leave a mark" idea.
I've tried a lot of things. I baked for a good while, thinking I could
become some famous baker and own a show. Yesterday I made brownies in a mug that stuck so hard
into the mug I ended up throwing it away instead of taking a hammer to it to pry it
the ---- out of there. I tried drawing...and, as you can probably
tell this far into the video, that's not going anywhere.
There were lots of little things in between that I thought I could do with my life that
would make me worthwhile, give me some kind of fulfillment that everyday life couldn't
do, that would give me a stamp to make into the earth and give me a sense of identity
that previously wasn't there. I've decided there is no such thing.
I think as I slowly realize that my world revolves only around myself, whatever I do
is special and should be valued. Is that vain?
I'm not a very social person, but when I do things for other people, it makes me feel
good. I think that's what life is about. Feeling good. Maybe my purpose in life is to buy my
boyfriend dinner after his long day at work. Or draw my dad the most haphazard card possible
focusing on his cats, even though he denies being obsessed with 'em.
And maybe that's all our lives are. A cake baked for a birthday, or a day with
a loved one after a hard breakup. Being nice to the telemarketers when they call you because
they've probably had a crappy day full of people yelling at them for just doing their job.
Maybe personal fame would be better than normal fame.
I think I'd rather be considered a good friend by my loved ones than be Shakira, although
I'm sure she's a great person. We kind of invalidate who we are as people
because other people are better at things we want to be good at. I don't really know
the moral to this, because it took a sad turn and never really turned back.
Don't be sad, anything you do won't matter in a thousand years?
You won't be famous, but at least your mom loves you.
Try to feel good. I think that one is probably the best -- whatever
you do -- whatever makes you happy and doesn't hurt others, do it.
Or something like that.