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alright, welcome back
right now is 6:30pm
February 1st 2012
this Video Log (Vlog) is suppose to be my
my first Vlog for 2012
my last Vlog wasn't really a Vlog
it was more toward of trying to make something out of nothing
but today's Vlog, i actually have something to talk about
which is quite important to me
about 5 days ago, i recieved an SMS from a cousin
telling me about yet another cousin, her name is Suhana
her husband 'Faisal' has recently died following a surgery in Bangkok
my last memory of Faisal:
we went to his house, and he approached me
he was asking me about a traditional medicine that he was taking
about 7K of Thai currency, that's 7K Baht
which is a lot of money
my response to him
i told him that this is non-sense
better for him to go through conservative medicine
i asked him to follow what the doctors are telling him
if the doctors want him to undergo a surgery
he really needed to go for surgery as soon as possible
so Faisal went to Bangkok -capital of Thailand-
and following surgery, he developed some sort of complication
and he died; he was no longer with us
he had aplastic Anemia
the moment i read the SMS
and my first response was [speaking Arabic]
which is a quotation from the Holy Quran in Arabic
roughly translated: we are all belong to God
we are all going back to him sooner or later, in one way or another
which gives us a solace
as Muslims we believe that death is NOT the end of things
its just a brief saparation, of which, we are all going
to meet each other in a better place, in a better circumstances
in a place where there is no cancers, no illnesses, no diseases, no traffic jams
in again, in a better place - in a better circumstnaces
in Allah's willing
as for my cousin Suhana, i do apologize
i sincerely apologize for not being able to be there for you and the family
Bangkok is a long drive from here; and i have a lot of things to do
i am tied up to my work, i just simply couldn't leave everything
to come for the funeral and as such
again, i sincerely apologize for that
i wish i could have done more, i wish i could have come
i can only pray for you, pray to God for patience during this period of transition
our hospital has recently suffered a loss of one of its doctors
her name is doctor Wanis, and she died about 3 weeks ago
but what hit me the most is that i didn't know about her death until recently
i was showing-off to a colleague
i was showing him the videos over youtube
one of my recent videos was
'Bringing the camera to work'
and there was one particular scene when i brought the camera into the clinic
and everyone in the clinic behaved indifferently or had a response that i didn't like
but when i entered one of the rooms
Dr Wanis was there, and she waved Hi to the camera
furthermore, she wished my mom, Selamat Hari Raya
which a season greeting, the same manner we say happy new year, Merry Christmas, and so on
she wished my mom happy holiday, and i was grateful for that
i actually believe that her participation made the video work
so i was showing this video to my colleague
the moment he saw her, he pointed is finger to the picture
"oh, this is Dr Wanis, the one who recently died"
i was like "WHAT?!" and i was shocked
"what the hell are you talking about?"
she was admitted to the ICU, she had a chronic illlness
called aplastic anemia and developed an intracerebral bleeding
she was admitted to an ICU somewhere in Kuala Lumpur -capital of Malaysia
and she died
"what are you talking about, she was a young person
she didn't show the signs of chronic illness"
Dr Wanis is one of the intern doctors -House officers-
at one time she was under my supervision
it was quite recent there,
only few months ago, she was under my supervision
and i remember clearly that there was one night during the oncall
we were on the oncalls together,
and i gave her a list of chores
or a list of things for her to finish quickly
but at 4 am in the morning, She and her friends couldn't finish the list in time
so i was frustrated, i was kinda angry
so i kinda unleashed my frustration on her
but now, thinking about it retrospectively
looking back, i should've - i mean-
if i knew that she had some sort of chronic illness
most certainly i would have gone easy on her
but being a great person as she is
the next day she just shook it off
she spoke to me as if nothing has happened in the night before
she smiled and she was polite
again as if nothing has happened and that's my only memory i have of her
otherwise i can only mention good things
she was polite, fun to be around with
her loss is going to be greatly missed
all these recent deaths, i started to remember a lot of my late father,
my dad died about 5 years ago of a Pancreatic cancer
a year before he died, i used to take him all around Malaysia and south Thailand
and everytime we go to one area, he'll be pointing his finger to one area
"i want to go here, i want to meet my friend or my colleague"
he wanted to meet all those people whom he hasn't met them in years
and everytime we go somewhere, he would find out that that person had already died,
of a cancer, of a heart disease or of some sort
on the way going to that house, he'd be happy and very anxious to meet his friend,
his colleague his acquaintance
but on the way back, he would be very silent, very quiet and quite depressed
only recently, i started to relate to that
seeing the people i know starting to die around me
most recently was Dr Fairus (a dear friend) who was in my batch
he died in a very young age
it is always too young to die in that age
then the death of my favourite uncle, my mother's youngest brother
and then my own father who died about 5 years ago
i still remember them and quite often
my mom asks me to include my dad and my uncle into my daily prayers
of which i seldom do
so.. this is all for today's VLOG and i thank you for listening to the end
i really hope that this is the first among many VLOG that i will make in the future
this is Hani Mador signing off and my blog site is at iium2000.multiply.com