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I got a fever, and the prescription is adding even more letters to the name of one of gaming’s
most versatile heroes. Not happy just saving the poor people who got turned into bricks
and horsehair plants (ask your parents), he’s taking the world of microbiology by storm.
By throwing capsules into a bottle. Which, for whatever reason, has viruses suspended
within, capable of supporting the weight of one-or-more capsules in a paradox that could
only be part of a puzzle game. That’s what I’d been missing in the PlayChoice: a genuine
puzzler. But, in the immortal words of Christopher Walken... I’ll stab you in the face with
a soldering iron.
Awright. We don’t need to bring Joe Dirt into this. This is supposed to be a medical
experiment, after all! We’ve got this jar of Redditis, Yellowrrhea, and the Blueping
Cough, and somehow Mario’s able to put just the right english on those pills as he throws
them into precisely the right spots to line up four or more of the same color. Because
four is death, obviously. Clear the infection, and it’s on to the next jar, which is populated
with even more viruses content to give you dirty looks from underneath that magnifying
glass. Look, I know a number of scientists and pharmacists, and they’re probably throwing
textbooks at the screen at this point for all the inaccuracy. But please be advised
that CGR Undertow is not meant to be a study aid, nor should anything we say be construed
as a medical diagnosis or course of treatment. We’re just here to play video games. There’s
20 stages you can start from, with even more if you can survive the highest levels of play,
along with three speed settings and two musical tracks. And that “Chill” music sneaks
up on you with its complexity. I hadn’t heard it in years, and was reminded the hard
way of how awesome it is.
It’s worth mentioning that the game itself was designed by Gunpei Yokoi, a name you may
recognize. From, y’know, creating the Game Boy and all. It’s an innovative step for
puzzle games; giving the player a mass of obstacles to clear, rather than starting with
a blank slate and going for points. It’s tough to determine whether progress should
better be measured by how far you can get or the score you can post. Of course, both
of these are moot, because the true measure of one’s Dr. Mario skill is how they handle
themselves in the head-to-head two-player mode. This game first appeared as a Vs. Unisystem
title before moving to the PlayChoice-10, so it makes a natural choice for arcade-style
competition in the grand tradition of Tetris. It’s welcome in my machine... at least,
until I hack a PCB to play Wario’s Woods.