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GOSSIP GIRL HERE-- YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE
INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE.
(Kati) OH, MY GOD.
YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT'S ON "GOSSIP GIRL."
SOMEONE SAW SERENA GETTING OFF THE TRAIN AT GRAND CENTRAL.
I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS GOOD BETWEEN US.
IT WAS... BEFORE I FOUND OUT YOU HAD SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND.
I DIDN'T COME BACK FOR YOU.
LOOK, BLAIR'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND YOU'RE HER BOYFRIEND.
AND SHE LOVES YOU.
YOU'D REALLY GO OUT WITH SOME GUY YOU DON'T KNOW?
WELL, YOU CAN'T BE WORSE THAN THE GUYS I DO KNOW.
WELL, OUR KIDS WERE BOUND TO MEET. IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.
ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT SOME PLOY,
YOUR USING MY DAUGHTER TO GET TO ME
NOW THAT YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU?
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE
OUR WHOLE LIVES HAVE BEEN PLANNED OUT FOR US,
THAT WE'RE JUST GONNA END UP LIKE OUR PARENTS?
MAN, THAT'S A DARK THOUGHT.
YOUR MOTHER AND I DIDN'T WORK THIS HARD SO YOU CAN JUST
MAKE THINGS UP AS YOU GO ALONG.
(Chuck) IT'S A FACILITY FOR THE DISTURBED OR ADDICTED.
THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?
I WAS THINKING... TOTAL SOCIAL DESTRUCTION?
AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING SOFT.
IT'S BECAUSE OF THEIR EXCELLENT PROGRAM
THAT A STUDENT HERE WITH US TODAY IS CLEAN AND SOBER...
AT LEAST, FOR NOW.
SHE'S IN REHAB?
NO, IT'S NOT HER. IT'S HER BROTHER WHO'S THERE.
I KNOW I SAID SOME THINGS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WORLD,
AND I'M SORRY.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE?
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BE YOUR FRIEND AFTER WHAT I DID.
I'M SO SORRY.
SPOTTED IN CENTRAL PARK-- TWO WHITE FLAGS WAVING.
SO WHAT WILL IT BE-- TRUCE OR CONSEQUENCES?
AND WHO AM I?
THAT'S A SECRET I'LL NEVER TELL.
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.
(instrumental of Henry Mancini's "Moon River" playing)
♪♪
(laughs)
SORRY, BUT YOU'RE NOT ON THE LIST.
OF COURSE I AM. THIS IS MY DREAM!
(in Eleanor's voice) NOT ANYMORE.
(girl laughs)
(Eleanor) OH, SERENA, IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU.
♪♪
(Gossip Girl) HEY, UPPER EAST SIDERS.
THERE'S NOTHING GOSSIP GIRL LIKES MORE THAN A SURPRISE,
AND WE HEAR BLAIR WALDORF'S GOT A 2-FOR-1 SPECIAL--
HER MOM ELEANOR, WHO JUST RETURNED FROM PARIS,
AND SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN, BRUNCH BUDDIES.
HEY! YOU'RE UP.
DID WE HAVE PLANS?
DARLING, IT IS IMPOLITE TO INTERRUPT. (blows kiss)
I WAS JUST TELLING SERENA
THAT BENDEL'S IS INTERESTED IN CARRYING MY LINE.
REALLY?
OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
I CAME BACK FROM PARIS EARLY TO PUT TOGETHER MY LOOKBOOK,
AND IF THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE,
IT COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF AN ENTIRE LIFESTYLE COLLECTION.
BECAUSE MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE YOU, MOTHER.
BEFORE YOU TUCK INTO THAT,
YOU FIND A LOW-FAT YOGURT MORE APPEALING.
♪♪
I LOST 2 POUNDS WHEN YOU WERE AWAY.
AND YOU LOOK MARVELOUS.
WOW, THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL, MRS. WALDORF.
WELL, THEY WILL BE
IF THEY'RE NOT ALL SQUISHED FROM TRAVELING.
DARLING, PLEASE.
SERENA, YOU HAVE TO COME BACK LATER
WHEN EVERYTHING IS UNPACKED.
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.
YOU DO HAVE SUCH GREAT PERSONAL STYLE.
OH, THANK YOU, BUT I DON'T THINK WE'LL BE ABLE TO.
BLAIR AND I HAVE PLANS TODAY.
(Eleanor) OH.
WE DO?
SERENA AND BLAIR MIGHT HAVE PLANS FOR THE DAY,
BUT NATE AND CHUCK ARE FULLY BOOKED FOR THE WEEKEND...
IF THEY SURVIVE IT.
FOUND IT. PIAGET.
CAN'T YOU JUST CALL IT A WATCH?
IF IT COSTS MORE THAN 10 GRAND, IT EARNS A PROPER NAME.
HOW ABOUT THIS?
DEFINITELY THAT.
BABE RUTH'S CALLED SHOT--
THE MOST FAMOUS HOMER HE EVER HIT.
HMM. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
(knock on door)
HERE WE GO.
(rap music playing)
YOU'VE LIVED THROUGH IVY WEEK
AND HOPEFULLY GAINED ENTRY TO THE COLLEGE OF YOUR CHOICE.
NOW LET'S RUIN THOSE CHANCES.
LET ME REMIND YOU OF THE RULES-- AS OF THIS MOMENT,
THERE IS NO OUTSIDE WORLD THAT I DO NOT SHOW YOU.
YOU EAT WHAT I PROVIDE, PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH,
AND TILL I SAY SO,
THE ONLY GIRLS YOU TALK TO ARE THE ONES I'VE PAID FOR.
YEAH!
WHOO-HOO!
LET THE LOST WEEKEND COMMENCE!
(cheering)
(boys) ONE, TWO, THREE, TWINS!
♪♪
(man) ♪ IN THE BRONX ♪
(man) ♪ LET 'EM KNOW THAT WE DON'T PLAY ♪
♪ STRONG ISLAND ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT ♪
♪♪
WHO BROUGHT THE SASQUATCH?
ISN'T THAT CARTER BAIZEN?
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
SINCE HE WAS A SENIOR AND WE WERE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE.
HE LOOKS INTENSE.
ARE YOU HIGH? HE LOOKS LIKE MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY
BETWEEN MOVIES.
THE GUY'S A LOSER.
LOOK, ANYONE WHO TRADES THEIR TRUST FUND FOR A *** PACK
FLIES IN THE FACE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY TO CHUCK BASS.
NATE ARCHIBALD, IS THAT YOU?
BAIZEN, MY MAN! I HEARD YOU WENT ROGUE! (laughs)
AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT.
HEY.
SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE'S ITINERARY
DIDN'T LEAVE ROOM FOR INTERLOPERS.
DOESN'T CHUCK KNOW
A PARTY ISN'T A PARTY UNTIL SOMEONE CRASHES?
(both laugh)
OH, GOD. I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE WITH YOU.
NO, THEY WERE LOOKING AT BOTH OF US.
DON'T INSULT ME. IT'S BEEN LIKE THIS ALL MORNING,
STARTING WITH YOUR LOVELY VISIT WITH MY MOTHER.
SHE DIDN'T EVEN CALL ME TO TELL ME SHE WAS COMING HOME.
WELL, SHE WAS BUSY.
SHE WAS RUSHING TO GET HOME AND EVERYTHING
BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SEE YOU.
SHE DIDN'T EVEN WAKE ME UP.
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW ELEANOR FEELS ABOUT BEAUTY REST.
SHE LIKES YOU MORE THAN ME.
SHE DOES NOT. YOU ARE HER DAUGHTER.
SHE DOESN'T LIKE ANYONE MORE THAN YOU. SHE JUST...
I DON'T KNOW, DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT SOMETIMES.
OKAY, I'M GOING INSIDE. WAIT FOR ME.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HUMPHREY! DAN! HEY!
HEY!
(laughs) OH, MY GOD, THIS IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS CITY--
YOU'RE ALWAYS BUMPING INTO PEOPLE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, I'M JUST ON MY WAY BACK FROM MY MOM'S,
DROPPING JENNY OFF UP IN HUDSON.
PICKED UP A COUPLE OF CUBANS FOR ME AND MY DAD...
SANDWICHES, NOT CIGARS.
(laughs)
HEY, UH, REMEMBER YOU SAID, UH, WE COULD GET TOGETHER SOMETIME
AND, UM, NOT TALK?
I WAS JUST WONDERING, IS IT "SOMETIME" YET?
THAT WAS DISGUSTING. THE D.O.H. SHOULD SHUT THEM DOWN.
THE BATHROOM?
NO, THE PEOPLE. IT'S CALLED NoLita, NOT NoShowers.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
DO I SMELL PORK? AND CHEESE?
OKAY, WELL, WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR CHARITY WORK,
WHY DON'T YOU COME FIND ME?
I'LL BE AT TORY BURCH LOOKING AT PONCHOS.
ISN'T THAT THE GIRL THAT TOLD THE ENTIRE SCHOOL--
AND, OH, SEVERAL COLLEGES-- THAT YOU HAD A DRUG PROBLEM?
YEAH.
(chuckles) BUT, YOU KNOW, BLAIR CAN BE A LITTLE...
BLAIR.
YEAH, YEAH.
(laughs) WE'RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT.
TODAY'S OUR FIRST DAY HANGING OUT TOGETHER ALONE.
OOH.
OOH! (laughs)
SO I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK.
YEAH. YEAH, SURE. THAT'S...
YEAH.
BUT, UM, CALL ME SOMETIME SO WE CAN GET TOGETHER
AND DO THAT THING YOU DIDN'T ASK ME TO DO.
(Eve and Swizz Beatz' "Tambourine" playing)
(Swizz Beatz) ♪ SHAKE YA TAMBOURINE ♪
♪ GO AND GET YOURSELF A-WHISTLIN' ♪
(Nate) SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOUR SISTER,
SHE SAID YOUR FAMILY HAD LOCKED YOU OUT
AND YOU'D FALLEN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
I DIDN'T. I JUST FELL OFF THE FACE OF THEIRS.
BUT ONCE YOU TURN AWAY FROM MONEY YOU SEE IT DOESN'T
BUY YOU FREEDOM, IT PAYS FOR YOUR PRISON.
THEY SAY I DISAPPEARED, BUT ALL I DID WAS BREAK OUT.
WHERE'D YOU GO?
WHERE DIDN'T I? I AIDED THE CLEANUP POST-KATRINA,
SPENT A YEAR REBUILDING MACHU PICCHU--
WHICH, LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S CHANGED MY LIFE.
I BOUGHT AN H.D. CAM AND STARTED FILMING IT FOR A DOCUMENTARY--
YOU'RE THE GUY WHO GAVE US OUR FIRST JOINT,
SNUCK US INTO OUR FIRST CLUB, AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME
THE LIFE OF YouTube FILMMAKER IS BETTER THAN THIS?
YOU INVENTED THE LOST WEEKEND.
HEY, WHO CARES ABOUT A PARTY WHEN YOU CAN TRAVEL THE WORLD?
(groans)
EXACTLY. IN THE REAL WORLD, THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
IS WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU OWN.
AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE SPEECH
ABOUT NOT NEEDING MATERIAL THINGS
FROM A GUY WHO HAS THAT MUCH PRODUCT IN HIS HAIR,
THIS PARTY IS ABOUT EXCESS, NOT EXPOSITION.
STOP TALKING.
START PARTYING.
NOW HERE IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T NEED MATERIAL.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT'S ABOUT TO COME OFF.
WHO'S WITH ME?
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HANG HERE FOR A BIT.
FINE.
I'D HATE TO BREAK UP A MATCHED SET ANYWAY.
♪ GO AND GET YOURSELF A-WHISTLIN' ♪
♪ SHAKE YA TAMBOURINE ♪
HOW ABOUT WE CONTINUE THIS OVER SOME CARDS?
NONE OF THIS CRAP THESE KIDS ARE PLAYING.
TEXAS HOLD'EM IS DEAD.
(laughs)
YOU KNOW, I'LL SHOW YOU SOME REAL ACTION.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M IN THIS WEEKLY GAME IN THIS, UH, CORNER IN QUEENS.
IT GOES ALL NIGHT.
IT'S THE REAL DEAL-- HIGH STAKES, BIG MONEY,
PEOPLE WITH THE KIND OF STORIES THAT WOULD PUT MINE TO SHAME.
YOU SHOULD--YOU SHOULD COME.
YEAH.
YEAH?
(Eleanor) THIS ONE MISSED HER CUE AT THE CHLOé SHOW
BECAUSE SHE WAS THROWING UP A PEAR.
(woman) UGH.
SHE WAS IN VERA'S "VOGUE" SPREAD.
I DON'T USE VERA'S MODELS. NONE OF THESE ARE RIGHT.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE HIGH FASHION BOOK
WHEN YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A NEW FACE--
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WHO LOOKS GOOD IN YOUR CLOTHES.
SOMEONE IN THIS BOOK, LIKE I TOLD YOU.
I HATE THE AMERICAN APPAREL EFFECT.
BUT THEY'RE CLOSER TO WHAT YOU NEED.
THEY'RE--THEY'RE NOW, THEY'RE HIP.
IF THIS PERSON IS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT WALDORF DESIGNS,
YOU HAVE TO FIND ME SOMEONE...
WORTHY OF THE CLOTHES.
YEAH.
SOMEONE LIKE ME.
MM.
SOMEONE LIKE...
MY DAUGHTER.
WELL, WHY NOT HER?
YOU WANT YOUR LINE TO REPRESENT THE WALDORF LIFESTYLE.
WHO BETTER TO REPRESENT YOU THAN ONE OF YOUR OWN FAMILY?
SHE WAS MY FIRST DRESS FORM.
SHE'D LOVE TO!
I WOULD?
ELEANOR?
YES.
(squeals)
(Eleanor) IT'S PERFECT.
ELEANOR WALDORF,
MEET THE NEW FACE OF WALDORF FOR BENDEL'S.
YAY! (laughs)
IS THAT A SMILE WE SEE ON B.'s LIPS?
THE SPOTLIGHT'S ON HER FOR ONCE,
AND S. ACTUALLY HELPED HER GET IT.
I GUESS MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN.
OH, SHUT UP. THEY'RE AMAZING.
I'M JUST DOING MY MOM A FAVOR.
THE HAIR AND MAKEUP TEST IS TONIGHT.
I THINK THIS IS MY BEST POSE.
(Isabel) THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
YOU'RE JUST A HAND MODEL, AND THAT'S IT.
THE RIGHT WAY IS THIS.
MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH. GIRLS, NO.
THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. NO, NO, NO.
GOTTA CURVE YOUR SPINE FORWARD, ELONGATE.
OH, NO. YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG.
LOOK, YOU'RE MISSING THE KEY.
SHOW US.
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. YOU GOTTA PUT THE HAND ON THE HIP AND POP.
THAT'S HOW YOU GOTTA DO IT.
(all laughing)
POP. POP. NO, LIKE THIS.
(cell phone rings)
HELLO? UH-HUH, WHO'S THIS? OH!
WHO'D DARE INTERRUPT
THE VAN DER WOODSEN AS SHE TEACHES?
BLAIR!
I said, "Who?"
Give me my phone!
DAN HUMPHREY.
WHO IS IT?
I'M SORRY. THE NUMBER YOU'VE DIALED IS NO LONGER IN SERVICE.
STOP IT! (laughs) WHO IS IT?
I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR.
LOOK, I CAN HEAR YOU. CAN I JUST PLEASE TALK TO SERENA?
APPARENTLY, YOU CAN, CABBAGE PATCH.
COME ON. LET ME HAVE IT.
(Blair) GOD.
HELLO? DAN! HEY. I'M SO, SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
AND I'M SO, SO READY TO HANG UP.
BLAIR WAS JUST PLAYING. YOU HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION, I PROMISE.
GOOD, 'CAUSE I WAS CALLING
TO ASK YOU TO NOT TALK WITH ME AT A MOVIE TONIGHT.
TONIGHT? WHERE? WHAT TIME?
THE SUNSHINE, 7:00.
I'D LOVE TO.
UH, I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
SEE YOU THERE.
♪♪
IT'S COMPLICATED, ISN'T IT?
I CAN'T STOP STARING AT IT. IT'S DIFFICULT WORK.
I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY.
IT'S ENIGMATIC.
♪♪
IT REMINDS ME OF AN EARLY BACON OR SCHNABEL.
THE ARTIST IS IN HUDSON.
I'VE REPRESENTED HER FOR SOME... TIME.
RUFUS.
BEX SIMON.
I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOUR GALLERY.
I WASN'T EXPECTING A PIECE LIKE THIS FROM A FORMER ROCK STAR.
(chuckles) I PREFER "ONE-HIT WONDER."
(laughs)
WHAT TURNED YOU GALLERIST?
I'VE ALWAYS HAD ARTISTIC PURSUITS.
WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. I ALWAYS PURSUE ARTISTS.
I'VE BEEN IN BROOKLYN ALL DAY LOOKING FOR WORK FOR A CLIENT.
I'M A BUYER.
I DIDN'T THINK I'D FIND A PIECE LIKE THIS,
AND I DON'T THINK IT'LL BE HERE LONG.
I'D TO PUT IT ON HOLD. MAY I?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
WHAT TIME DO YOU CLOSE?
I'LL STAY OPEN.
GOOD.
(camera shutter snaps)
THANK YOU.
♪♪
(woman) ♪ IT FEELS GOOD, RIGHT?
♪ COME ON, SHOW 'EM HOW WE DO IT, YEAH, COME ON ♪
♪♪
WHAT IS CARTER STILL DOING HERE?
I INVITED HIM.
OR HE INVITED HIMSELF? THAT IS HIS STYLE.
BEGGING US TO BREAK FREE OF OUR PRISONS WHILE
STUFFING HIS FACE WITH FREE FOOD AND DRAINING OUR ***.
HE'S A DEADBEAT AND A HYPOCRITE.
AND A GOOD BALLPLAYER, IF I REMEMBER RIGHT.
YOU SURE YOU JUST DON'T WANNA LOSE TO HIM THERE, CHUCK?
MAYBE IF YOUR DADDY BOUGHT YOU A BASKETBALL TEAM
INSTEAD OF A HOTEL, YOU'D HAVE SOME SKILL.
LOOK, THIS IS THE LOST WEEKEND FOR JUNIORS,
NOT SENIOR CITIZENS. GO JUMP INTO A VOLCANO.
LET'S JUST SETTLE IT ON THE COURT.
LET'S SETTLE IT RIGHT NOW.
HEY, CHILL OUT.
NO, THIS IS MY GAME. I PICK THE PLAYERS.
I GET IT. I'LL GO.
HEY. HEY, MAN.
IS THAT CARD GAME TONIGHT?
YEAH.
HEY, TEXT ME THE ADDRESS LATER.
I WILL.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT, MAN.
NOBODY WANTED HIM HERE.
HE'S AN OLDER BROTHER BRINGING EVERYONE DOWN.
LET'S JUST PLAY SOME BALL.
♪♪
(man) OKAY, BLAIR, RELAX. CHIN DOWN.
HOLD IT THERE AND...
OKAY, YOU READY?
(camera shutter snaps)
OKAY, ONE MORE.
THIS TIME, LET'S EXHALE. JUMP AROUND, LOOSEN UP.
NOW REALLY LOOSEN UP ON THIS ONE.
LET'S RELAX INTO IT. NOW GIVE ME THE BIGGEST POSE YOU'VE GOT.
THAT'S IT. COME ON, BIG! LET'S THINK BIG, BIG, BIG.
ONE, TWO, THREE!
(camera shutter snaps)
OKAY, TAKE A BREAK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WHO CHOSE THIS GIRL?
ELEANOR. WHY?
SHE'S SO PRIM AND STIFF, LIKE A BOOKCASE. IT'S UNNATURAL.
YEAH, BUT SHE LOOKS STUNNING IN THE CLOTHES, DON'T YOU AGREE?
MM-HMM, TO MY EYE, LIKE A GODDESS.
TO THIS EYE? BLEH. (whispers) LIKE A STATUE.
THIS IS RETAIL. IT'S NOT EDITORIAL.
SHE NEEDS TO LET GO, HAVE FUN, LOOSEN UP.
HOW'S THE CLIENT GOING TO LIKE THE DRESS
IF THE MODEL DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HERSELF?
♪♪
(whispers indistinctly)
(whispers indistinctly)
HEY!
FIRST OF ALL, YOU LOOK AMAZING!
I KNOW.
(laughs) BUT LOOK, CAN I GIVE YOU A LITTLE TIP?
HOW DID I KNOW THIS WAS COMING?
NO, NO, LOOK, ALL YOU NEED TO DO
IS MAYBE YOU COULD, UH, LOOSEN UP A LITTLE, YOU KNOW?
(blows raspberry) SHAKE IT OUT.
UM, MAYBE YOU COULD BE GOOFY, LIKE WHEN WE WERE 10
AND WE WOULD DANCE AROUND TO "GENIE IN A BOTTLE"
IN YOUR MOM'S CLOTHES.
HELP ME. HELP ME.
UM, OKAY. UH...
ACT LIKE A TIGER, OKAY? COME ON. RAWR!
RAWR.
NO, NO, YOU GOTTA ROAR. RAWR!
RAWR!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! GIVE ME MORE TIGER! GIVE ME MORE TIGER!
YOU'RE IN THAT JUNGLE.
RAWR!
YOU'RE A SAVAGE! NOW LET'S DO A PRETTIER ONE THIS TIME, OKAY?
YOU'RE VENUS IN THE HALF SHELL, RIGHT?
SO JUST LOOK UP... (gasps) OOH.
OH!
(Serena and Blair laugh)
LET'S DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE BRITNEY WITH THE UMBRELLA.
OKAY, BRITNEY WITH THE UMBRELLA. GO!
RAWR! AAH!
AT THE CAR! AT THE CAR! OOH!
(shrieking)
(screaming)
(laughing)
POSH SPICE IN AMERICA. READY? GO!
THAT'S "CYBORG SPICE" TO YOU. (imitates robotic whirring)
(imitates siren wailing)
OKAY, YOU GOTTA POUT MORE AND STRIKE.
REMEMBER, I TAUGHT YOU THE HAND ON THE HIP. STRIKE IT AND POP.
COME ON, GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE, YOU SEXY BEAST.
OH, IT LOOKS SO GOOD! YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD! YOU GOT IT!
(cell phone rings)
LOOK HOW GOOD YOU ARE. POUT, POUT, POUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
(ring)
OH, SHOOT. I GOTTA GO MEET DAN.
NO, YOU'RE STAYING HERE. I NEED YOU.
I CAN'T LET MY MOTHER DOWN.
♪♪
(cell phone rings)
HEY, YOU ALMOST HERE?
HEY, I'M REALLY, REALLY, SORRY,
BUT I'M KIND OF STUCK AT THIS PHOTO SHOOT WITH BLAIR.
It's a long story,
but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
OH, A PHOTO SHOOT, HUH?
IT SOUNDS REALLY SUPERFICIAL, I KNOW.
BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO HER
AND, YOU KNOW, SHE'S IMPORTANT TO ME.
But I'll make it up to you, though, I promise.
NO, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, REALLY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
YOU'RE THE BEST. I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
I'll call you later.
YEAH, YEAH.
(shuts cell phone)
(beep)
(man) HOW MANY?
UH...
NONE.
YOU'RE STILL HERE.
YEAH, I TOLD YOU I'D WAIT.
MM, A MAN WHO KEEPS HIS WORD. I LIKE IT.
YOU GET A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOUR CLIENT?
I'M BACK, AREN'T I? WRITE ME UP AN INVOICE.
REALLY?
THAT'S GREAT.
WELL, YOU'RE AWFULLY EXCITED.
THIS ISN'T YOUR FIRST TIME, IS IT?
SELLING A PAINTING.
(chuckles) FEW FIRSTS ARE LEFT FOR ME.
BUT THE ARTIST WILL BE VERY PLEASED.
SHE'S... BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS FOR A WHILE.
IT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL FOR HER.
WELL, FOR MY CLIENT, TOO. THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL PIECE.
YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO...
I DON'T KNOW-- CELEBRATE WITH A DRINK?
UM...
ACTUALLY, THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED EXCITED ARTIST
IS MY WIFE.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE ARTIST LIVED IN HUDSON. LONG COMMUTE.
SHE LIVES THERE. I DON'T.
MM.
IF THE TRAINS EVER STOP RUNNING...
♪♪
(man) ♪ A'IGHT, YO ♪
♪ WHEN I WAKE UP, MORNING, YAWNING, I PUT UP MY HANDS ♪
♪ THANK THE LORD FOR WHAT I GOT AND NEVER STOP MY PLANS ♪
PHASE THREE--PUB CRAWL. FIVE BOROUGHS.
50 PUBS... 500 CHANCES TO GET LAID.
AND REMEMBER, DON'T DIP YOUR SHILLELAGH...
(imitates Irish accent) IN THE WRONG POT OF GOLD.
(normal voice) LET'S GO.
YOU CAN THINK ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND INSIDE.
I'M NOT COMING.
(sighs) SERIOUSLY, CARTER BAIZEN SUCKS.
ALL RIGHT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SPELL HE'S PUT YOU UNDER,
BUT HE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND. HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
AND WHY IS THAT?
'CAUSE HE DOESN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN?
IT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID--
THE MONEY, THE DRUGS, THE PRIVILEGES.
THEY'RE JUST KEEPING US NUMB SO WE DON'T KNOW
IT'S--IT'S BETTER OUT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD.
THE REAL WORLD? EVERYONE OUT THERE WANTS TO BE US.
WE ARE WHAT YOU ASPIRE TO, NOT RUN AWAY FROM.
YOU REALLY DON'T GET ME, DO YOU?
THAT DREAM OF YOURS, YOU KNOW, WHAT IS IT, REALLY?
'CAUSE I HEAR YOU TALK
ABOUT HOW YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO DARTMOUTH
AND HOW YOU DON'T WANT TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS,
BUT WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT?
ALL I KNOW IS IT'S NOT THIS.
WELL, YOU BETTER DISCOVER WHAT "IT" IS
BEFORE YOU THROW EVERYTHING AWAY TRYING TO FIND IT.
AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
♪♪
(beep)
♪♪
HOW WAS THE MOVIE?
UH, MISSABLE... LITERALLY.
(sighs) I-I DON'T KNOW ABOUT SERENA, DAD.
I-I CAN'T TELL IF SHE'S WORTH IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, UH, SHE'S BEST FRIENDS WITH THIS GIRL--BLAIR WALDORF--
WHO IS BASICALLY EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT THE UPPER EAST SIDE
DISTILLED INTO ONE 95-POUND, DOE-EYED, BON MOT TOSSING,
LABEL-*** PACKAGE OF GIRLIE EVIL.
(laughs) NO ONE'S THAT BAD.
SHE IS.
I WOULD BARELY BE EXAGGERATING IF I TOLD YOU
MEDUSA WANTS HER WITHERING GLARE BACK.
WELL, IF THERE'S ANYTHING I'VE LEARNED
IT'S THAT USUALLY THERE'S SOMETHING BENEATH THE SURFACE
WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT TO MAKE THEM ACT THE WAY THEY DO.
LIKE WHAT--
THE O.J. IN HER MIMOSA WAS FROM CONCENTRATE, NOT FRESH-SQUEEZED?
AND--AND WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT SERENA,
THAT THIS IS HER BEST FRIEND?
I DATED A GIRL LIKE SERENA ONCE--
ACTUALLY, A LOT LIKE SERENA.
AND GIRLS LIKE THAT ARE CHALLENGING. IT'S TRUE.
THEY'RE COMPLICATED AND...
ENIGMATIC...
AND USUALLY WORTH IT.
AND THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL KNOW FOR SURE
IS TO JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.
WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU?
I SWAM FOR A WHILE...
TILL I DROWNED.
OH. WELL, THAT--THANKS. THAT'S A GREAT STORY, DAD.
NOW GET SOME SLEEP,
AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
WE'LL GO TO THE PHOTO SHOOT TOGETHER.
YOU HAVEN'T DONE THIS SINCE I WAS LITTLE.
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN BED BY 10:00 SINCE YOU WERE LITTLE.
YOU LOOKED BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT, YOU KNOW?
REALLY?
(cell phone rings, vibrates)
(muffled) HELLO?
HOW WAS THE MOVIE?
Did I miss something amazing?
MM. WELL... WELL, UH, EVEN WITHOUT THE MOVIE.
DON'T BE COCKY. I'M CALLING YOU WITH A MAKEUP PLAN.
OH, ARE YOU NOW?
I am.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE WHAT REALLY HAPPENS
AT A FASHION SHOOT?
I'M SORRY. THIS IS-- THIS IS DAN HUMPHREY.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO REACH MY SISTER?
LOOK, I KNOW IT'S A GIRLIE OFFER, BUT CHEW ON THIS--
I'LL BE THERE.
CAN I BET ON THAT?
BECAUSE LAW OF AVERAGES SAYS I LOSE MY SHIRT.
OH, COME ON. IT'S BLAIR'S SHOOT,
so I have to be there for moral support.
BLAIR? WELL, I'M DEFINITELY NOT GOING NOW.
LOOK, SHE'S REALLY NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK.
BESIDES, SHE'S GONNA BE SO BUSY WITH THE SHOOT
THAT YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE HER,
AND SINCE IT'S SO BORING ON THE SIDELINES,
YOU'LL HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION.
OKAY, WHAT IF I BUY YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM CRAFT SERVICE?
I THOUGHT CRAFT SERVICE WAS FREE.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING AT 8:00.
I'M TEXTING YOU THE ADDRESS.
I'M HANGING UP BEFORE THOU DOST PROTEST AGAIN.
(shuts cell phone)
BOTH FEET, HUMPHREY.
(elevator bell dings)
WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY APART FROM MY NOT GETTING MY SLEEP
BEFORE THE BIG DAY, LAUREL,
AND WHY COULDN'T WE SIMPLY HAVE DISCUSSED IT OVER THE PHONE?
BECAUSE IF WE DIDN'T MEET IN PERSON,
I COULDN'T SHOW YOU THESE.
I DON'T THINK THIS GIRL IS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY--
UNAPPROACHABLE, CONTROLLED, PERFECT.
SHE IS NOT UNAPPROACHABLE. SHE IS POISED. SHE'S REGAL.
LOOK, I KNOW SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER,
AND I DON'T WANT TO MAKE PROBLEMS...
MM-HMM.
BUT YOUR GIRL IS RIGID LIKE A TWIG.
YOU KNOW, SHE'S AFRAID TO LET YOU IN,
SO YOUR WORKS OF ART AND SHE
FAIL TO ACHIEVE--
WHAT'S THE WORD?
SYMBIOSIS.
OH. WHAT CAN BE DONE AT THIS STAGE?
YOUR DAUGHTER IS BEAUTIFUL, YES, BUT THIS GIRL--
THIS GIRL HAS IT.
SHE IS WARM LIKE SUNSHINE. SHE HAS FUN.
SHE WILL MAKE THE CLIENTS THINK IF THEY BUY THESE CLOTHES,
THEN THEY WILL HAVE FUN, TOO.
BUT THIS IS YOUR LINE, ELEANOR.
IT'S COMPLETELY YOUR CHOICE.
ARE SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A PATIENT PRESURGERY--
NO FOOD OR DRINK 12 HOURS PRIOR,
WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHING
AND MAKE SURE YOUR AFFAIRS ARE IN ORDER.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT COULD GO WRONG IN A FLASH.
(Serena) Hey, B.
You must either be sleeping or already on your way.
But I can't wait to see you at the shoot.
We're gonna have so much fun!
OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE AWAKE.
AM I LATE?
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. DID I OVERSLEEP?
DARLING, I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.
TERRY, THAT FOOL OF A PHOTOGRAPHER,
THINKS WE NEED TO GO IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.
WITH THE THEME?
WITH THE MODEL.
OH.
DARLING, I HIRED THESE PEOPLE FOR THEIR EXPERTISE,
AND ULTIMATELY, THEY FEEL THAT...
WE WOULD BE DOING THE BRAND A DISSERVICE.
I-I CANNOT APOLOGIZE ENOUGH.
I KNOW THAT YOU WERE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.
NO, I WASN'T. I'M--I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO GO.
I HATE SHOOTS. THEY'RE SO BORING.
YOU SHOULD HAVE ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO,
NOT AN AMATEUR.
WE'LL HAVE DINNER AFTER, YES?
STEAK FRITES AND CREPES AT CAFé DES ARTISTES,
JUST LIKE OLD TIMES. I WILL SEE YOU LATER.
(makes kissing sounds)
(elevator bell dings)
HEY, S., ALL RIGHT, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT ALREADY THERE,
BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, MY MODELING CAREER'S OVER
FASTER THAN JESSICA SIMPSON'S ACTING ONE.
NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,
MAYBE WE SHOULD CRASH THE SHOOT ANYWAY
AND SEE WHO THEY REPLACE ME WITH,
MAKE FUN OF THE SKINNY ***?
(Lily) HOW COULD YOU?
ACTUALLY, I LIKE THIS HERE.
THIS IS NO JOKE, HUMPHREY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?
THE QUESTION IS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SELLING IT TO ME?
YOU... YOU'RE BEX'S CLIENT.
OH, AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
I'M JUST SURPRISED YOU HIRED SOMEONE WITH TASTE.
OH, WELL, I AM EQUALLY AS SHOCKED,
BECAUSE WHEN SHE SAID SHE FOUND SOMETHING AMAZING IN BROOKLYN,
YOUR GALLERY NEVER ENTERED MY MIND.
YOU'D HAVE TO ACTUALLY RECOGNIZE ART TO REMEMBER THE PLACE.
WHAT I RECOGNIZE IS THE FACT
THAT YOUR WIFE WOULD NOT WANT THIS HANGING IN MY HOUSE.
ALISON'S A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST.
SHE DOESN'T DO BACKGROUND CHECKS ON PROSPECTIVE BUYERS,
AND NEITHER DO I. BESIDES, IT'S BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS.
AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW WOMEN.
AND YOU STILL KNOW IT ALL.
YOUR WIFE DESPISES ME.
I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
WELL, SHE DID.
I MEAN, SHE MAY HAVE BEEN WEARING A SLIP DRESS
AND DOC MARTENS AT THE TIME, BUT SHE DEFINITELY MEANT IT.
SHE'S NOT LIKE YOU. SHE DOESN'T HOLD ON TO THAT STUFF.
WHY DON'T YOU CALL AND ASK HER?
OR ARE YOU STILL GIVING HER HER SPACE?
BECAUSE TRUST ME, PUTTING THIS UP IN MY HOUSE,
EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU,
WILL ONLY DRIVE HER FURTHER AWAY.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THEN?
TAKE IT BACK.
YOU CAN CALL BEX AND SET UP A REFUND.
SO WHAT'D YOU THINK OF IT?
I THOUGHT...
IT WAS EXTRAORDINARY.
(whistles)
♪♪
(cell phone beeping)
(cell phone beeping)
(cell phone beeps)
(under breath) HEY, NO PHONES.
OH, RIGHT. SORRY, MAN.
HOW MUCH YOU UP?
$5,000.
THAT'S INSANE, AMIGO.
I SHOULD PROBABLY QUIT WHILE I'M AHEAD, HUH?
WHAT? WE JUST STARTED.
WELL, I'VE HAD A GOOD RUN.
PLUS, IT'S BETTER TO LEAVE WHILE YOU'RE UP.
I'M NOT--I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU DO THAT, BRO.
THE TABLE'S ABOUT TO GET SMALLER.
PEOPLE ARE GONNA START SHOWING THEIR REAL STUFF.
UP UNTIL NOW IT'S BEEN CARDS, BUT...
FROM NOW ON, IT'S AN ADVENTURE.
JUST A COUPLE MORE HANDS.
ALL RIGHT, GENTS, ANTE UP.
OKAY.
LET'*** IT.
♪♪
(Henry Mancini's "Moon River" playing)
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
FANTASTIC. ONE, TWO, THREE, COME ON--
OH! THERE SHE IS.
BLAIR! COME ON, QUICK. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
HEY.
BLAIR.
(door slams)
BLAIR. BLAIR, WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
BLAIR, WAIT. WHY ARE YOU SO MAD?
WHY AM I MAD? YOU MEAN WHY AREN'T I FURIOUS?!
I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR ONE SECOND I THOUGHT
THAT IT'D BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME!
YOU THOUGHT WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT?
YOU COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE SPOTLIGHT SHINING ON ME
FOR ONCE, COULD YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I WAS TOLD WE WERE DOING THIS TOGETHER.
WHAT, DID YOU NOT GET MY MESSAGE?
WHAT ABOUT THIS MORNING THEN? WHEN YOU GLANCED
AT THE CALL SHEET, DID YOU SEE MY NAME ON IT?
WHEN I WASN'T IN HAIR AND MAKEUP,
DIDN'T THAT SEEM STRANGE?
WHEN THE DRESSING ROOM ONLY HAD YOUR NAME ON THE DOOR,
WHAT, DID YOU THINK THEY JUST FORGOT?
I WAS TOLD YOU WERE RUNNING LATE,
AND THEY ASKED ME TO DO SOME TEST SHOTS FIRST.
BLAIR, THEY TOLD ME YOU WANTED ME HERE.
AND YOU BELIEVED THEM?
LOOK, BLAIR, I ENCOURAGED YOU TO DO THIS.
WHY WOULD I TRY TO STEAL SOMETHING FROM YOU
THAT I PUSHED YOU TO DO?
BECAUSE YOU TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!
NATE, MY MOM!
BLAIR!
YOU CAN'T EVEN HELP IT. IT'S WHO YOU ARE.
I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE THIS TIME IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN I'D BE WRONG.
GREAT.
SPOTTED-- LONELY BOY'S RUDE AWAKENING.
UPPER EAST SIDE QUEENS AREN'T BORN AT THE TOP.
THEY CLIMB THEIR WAY UP IN HEELS,
NO MATTER WHO THEY HAVE TO TREAD ON TO DO IT.
(Eleanor) TERRY, I THINK IT'S VERY GOOD.
(Terry) YEAH.
I LIKE THE BRIDGE IN THE BACKGROUND,
BUT WE NEED HER BACK. THERE YOU ARE.
I KNOW. WHAT--
TERRY WANTED ME TO TELL YOU HOW PERFECT YOU LOOKED...
ELEANOR, I QUIT.
WITH THESE NOW. WAIT A MINUTE. WHY?
I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
BECAUSE OF BLAIR? I KNOW THAT SHE WILL SUPPORT MY DECISION...
HEY.
(Serena) HEY.
ONCE I EXPLAIN IT TO HER.
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THE SPOTLIGHT. YOU ALWAYS HAVE.
IT'S PART OF YOUR CHARM. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT--
(door slams)
WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I HAVE NO IDEA, ACTUALLY.
I...
(knocks on screen)
HEY, I K--I KINDA OVERHEARD YOU GUYS IN THE STAIRWELL THERE.
DAN, LOOK, I REALLY CAN'T GO HERE RIGHT NOW.
O-OKAY, WELL, FORGET I SAID ANYTHING THEN.
IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M MUTE.
I'LL JUST STAND HERE AND BLINK REAL QUIET.
UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO--
HAND ME MY JEANS? YES, PLEASE.
IT'S JUST, UH,
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE ON THE SIDELINES HERE.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE HERE FOR YOUR FRIEND BLAIR.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE GONNA GET CRAFT SERVICE,
AND I'D HAVE YOUR "FULL ATTENTION"?
SAY IT.
I-I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO.
SO MY BEST FRIEND DOESN'T BELIEVE ME,
AND NEITHER DOES THE GUY I LIKE.
LOOK, DAN, BLAIR'S MOM BASICALLY TRICKED ME INTO COMING HERE
BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT BLAIR.
HOW DO YOU TELL YOUR BEST FRIEND SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
OH. I-I DIDN'T-- I GUESS I DIDN'T--
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT, DAN? JUST GO, OKAY?
I-I NEED TO CLEAN UP, AND I JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.
SERENA SEND YOU HERE TO TALK TO ME?
NO, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I ACTUALLY CAME HERE MYSELF.
(sighs)
NORMALLY, WOULDN'T BE THIS CLOSE TO YOU
WITHOUT A TETANUS SHOT.
(sighs)
MY, UH, MY MOM
KINDA LEFT US A COUPLE MONTHS AGO...
ONLY MY...
MY DAD AND MY SISTER
DON'T REALLY SEE THAT...
'CAUSE SHE TOLD US SHE HAD TO GO AWAY FOR THE SUMMER
TO, UM, TO FOLLOW HER DREAM OF BEING AN ARTIST.
BUT IT'S-- IT'S NOT SUMMER ANYMORE,
AND SHE'S STILL UP THERE,
AND THAT'S ALL SHE SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
EVERY TIME I GO TO SEE HER,
I TELL MYSELF, THIS TIME, I'M GONNA TELL HER WHAT I THINK.
THIS TIME, I'M GONNA LOOK HER IN THE EYE AND SAY,
"EITHER COME HOME OR LEAVE FOR GOOD."
AND SO THERE I WAS, JUST THE OTHER DAY.
I WAS SITTING ACROSS THE TABLE FROM HER,
LOOKING HER STRAIGHT IN THE EYE,
AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
WHY NOT?
UH...
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I WISH I HAD,
'CAUSE EVEN IF IT DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING,
SHE'D KNOW HOW I FELT.
(man) BULLET, GENTLEMEN.
FIRST BET.
(man) $5,000. 5 TO CALL.
HEY, I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. CALL HIS BET.
IT'S ALL LUCK. HEY, YOU GUYS OKAY WITH A MARKER?
I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
IF YOU'RE EVER GONNA TAKE A RISK, START NOW.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF ANYTHING LESS?
(Nate sighs)
(Carter) IT'S FINE.
YOU SURE HE'S GOOD FOR IT?
OF COURSE HE IS. HE'S AN ARCHIBALD.
(tears paper)
MAKE IT $10,000.
(man) FIVE TO CALL.
(man) CALL.
SHOW YOUR CARDS.
OH!
TRIP BULLETS. THE TRIP ACES TAKE IT.
THAT'S ROUGH.
YOU TOLD ME TO.
IT'S THE LUCK OF THE DRAW, MY FRIEND.
HE--HE HAD THREE ACES.
LOOK, I DON'T, UM,
IT MIGHT TAKE ME A LITTLE WHILE TO GET THE MONEY.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WAIT. A LITTLE WHILE?
(scoffs) COME ON, MAN. SNAP YOUR FINGERS.
WAIT A MINUTE. ARE YOU IN WITH THESE GUYS?
DID YOU PLAY ME, MAN? ARE YOU PLAYING ME, HUH?
(man) HEY, HEY, HOLD ON.
I GUESS THAT'S A YES.
JUST GIVE HIM THE MONEY, MAN. MONEY MEANS NOTHING TO YOU.
THIS GUYS AREN'T PLAYING, BUT NO ONE HAS TO GET HURT.
I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT.
(Chuck) YEAH, YOU'RE A REAL FRIEND.
WHO LET YOU IN HERE, BASS?
HE SET ME UP.
NO ONE FORCED HIS HAND. YOUR BOY LOST FAIR AND SQUARE.
DID YOU?
LOOK, MAN, IF YOU DON'T GET 'EM THE MONEY RIGHT AWAY,
I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE WHERE YOU LIVE,
AND THEY CAN COME GET IT FROM YOUR DADDY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
LOOK. LOOK, YOU GOT MY WATCH AND MY BALL.
YOU KEEP THEM. TAKE CARE OF THESE GUYS.
I DON'T CALL THE COPS,
AND WE WALK OUT OF HERE.
(scoffs)
IT'S COOL. I-I-I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TRANSFER SOME MONEY
AND PRAY THE CAPTAIN DOESN'T NOTICE
BEFORE I FIND A WAY TO PUT IT BACK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME BACK, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, IT WAS WORTH EVERY CENT TO SEE THE LAST OF THAT GUY.
NO, I WANT TO. I MEAN IT. THANKS.
(beep)
THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT.
WHAT'S UP?
IT SAYS I'M ZEROED OUT.
MAYBE YOU HAVE THE WRONG ACCOUNT.
NO, NO, NO, NO. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG.
I ACCESSED THIS ACCOUNT LAST MONTH,
AND IT SAID THERE WAS ALMOST $200,000.
(cell phone rings)
HEY, TOM, THANKS FOR GETTING BACK TO ME SO QUICKLY.
Your message said it was important.
UM, YEAH, I WAS-- I WAS CHECKING MY ACCOUNTS,
AND I CAME ACROSS WHAT I ASSUME TO BE AN ERROR,
IN THAT MY TRUST SEEMS TO HAVE A ZERO BALANCE.
Oh, uh, I thought you knew.
That account was drained weeks ago.
DRAINED? BUT BY WHO?
Your father.
He said he discussed it with you.
WE--WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS. I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
I'M NOT INTO GETTING A LINGERIE MODEL.
UH, BLAIR, HONEY, THERE'S BEEN A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR JOB BACK?
DID YOU CHOOSE SERENA OVER ME?
YOU COULD'VE PICKED A STRANGER.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CHOOSE MY BEST FRIEND.
WHAT, DID YOU THINK THAT I WOULDN'T FIND OUT?
I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU TONIGHT...
AT DINNER.
IT--THERE WAS NO RIGHT DECISION.
THERE... (sighs) THERE--THERE WASN'T ANY TIME.
I KNOW YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THIS.
IT WAS MISHANDLED--
THE WHOLE THING-- FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.
YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME TO AGREE WITH YOU.
BENDEL'S WILL LEGITIMIZE THIS COMPANY.
IT WILL TAKE EVERYTHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
YOU KNOW HOW HARD I HAVE WORKED FOR THAT.
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY BIGGEST SUPPORTER, MY BIGGEST FAN.
I'M YOUR DAUGHTER.
AND AS MY DAUGHTER,
I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD FORGIVE ME, IN TIME,
BUT IF MY COMPANY HAD LOST THIS DEAL BECAUSE OF YOU?
I'D NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
I HOPE YOU NEVER DO.
YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM US,
BUT IN EVERY GIRL'S LIFE,
THERE COMES A MOMENT WHEN SHE REALIZES
THAT HER MOTHER JUST MIGHT BE MORE MESSED UP THAN SHE IS.
(train brakes squealing in distance)
YOU'RE STILL HERE?
YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT I COULDN'T LEAVE
WITHOUT BRINGING YOU SOMETHING FROM CRAFT SERVICE.
UM, AND, UH, AND TELLING YOU THAT I'M SORRY I JUDGED YOU.
MM. WELL, I'M SORRY I GAVE YOU REASON TO.
HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU ASK ME OUT AGAIN?
HOW ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY SHOW UP?
OKAY. NO DRAMA, NO DISRUPTIONS. I PROMISE.
YOU PROMISE? OH, NO! THAT MEANS IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW.
AAH! OKAY, QUICK. I TAKE IT BACK. I UNPROMISE.
FRIDAY. 8:00.
I THINK WE CAN AGREE TO THOSE TERMS,
BUT YOU CAN'T WEAR THOSE SHOES.
MM. OR THAT HAIR.
BLAIR.
(laughs) OH.
OKAY, SEE YOU THEN.
EW.
ALL RIGHT.
(laughs)
SO YOU WERE RIGHT.
I KNOW.
WHEN I GOT THAT CALL, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN
YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
AND I SHOULD NEVER HAVE PUSHED YOU TO DO THIS WHOLE THING
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
ACTUALLY, I'M GLAD YOU PUSHED ME.
IT ENDED UP BEING A VERY IMPORTANT DAY FOR ME.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE MORE FUN.
I KNOW. ME, TOO.
(Sean Kingston) ♪ YOU'RE WAY TOO BEAUTIFUL, GIRL ♪
♪ THAT'S WHY... ♪
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHO SAYS IT STILL CAN'T BE?
♪ SUICIDAL ♪
COME ON. COME ON.
♪ WHEN YOU SAY IT'S OVER ♪
♪ DAMN ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS ♪
THIS JUST IN--
S. AND B. COMMITTING A CRIME OF FASHION.
WHO DOESN'T LOVE A 5-FINGER DISCOUNT?
ESPECIALLY IF ONE OF THOSE FINGERS IS THE MIDDLE ONE.
WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY,
BUT YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS,
AND IN A WORLD RULED BY BLOODLINES AND BANK ACCOUNTS,
IT PAYS TO HAVE A PAL.
DO IT AGAIN. ONE, TWO-- ONE, TWO, THREE.
♪ DAMN ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS ♪
♪ THEY ONLY WANT TO DO YOUR DIRT ♪
♪ THEY'LL HAVE YOU SUICIDAL ♪
♪ SUICIDAL ♪
♪ WHEN THEY SAY IT'S OVER ♪
AS MUCH AS A B.F.F CAN MAKE YOU GO W.T.F,
THERE'S NO DENYING
WE'D ALL BE A LITTLE LESS RICH WITHOUT THEM.
AND SERENA AND BLAIR--THEY DO BESTIES BETTER THAN ANYONE.
(both scream)
♪ YOU'RE WAY TOO BEAUTIFUL, GIRL ♪
♪ THAT'S WHY IT'LL NEVER WORK ♪
NO, THAT'S NOT A TEAR IN MY EYE.
IT'S JUST ALLERGIES.
WITHOUT YOU, I'M NOTHING.
GOSSIP GIRL.