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>> ♪ SPORTS ♪
♪ SPORTS ♪
♪ SPORTS ♪
♪ SPORTS ♪
♪ SPORTS ♪
>> Tim: AAAAH!
>> ♪ TIM AND ERIC ♪
♪ AWESOME SHOW ♪
♪ TIM AND ERIC ♪
♪ AWESOME SHOW ♪
>> Tim: HEY, CAROL.
>> Eric: HI, MR. HENDERSON.
>> Tim: HOW YOU DOING?
>> Eric: I'M GOOD, THANK YOU.
>> Tim: LOOKING REAL GOOD, REAL
HOT.
>> Eric: YOU LOOK GOOD, TOO.
>> Tim: I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU
HOME AND SNACK ON YOU TONIGHT.
YOU ARE GETTING ME ROCK HARD.
>> Eric: UH, THANK YOU.
I JUST HAD MY HAIR CUT.
>> Tim: OOH!
LOOK GOOD ENOUGH FOR A POKE.
HUH?
>> Eric: IT'S MY DREAM, SIR.
>> Tim: WHY DON'T I TAKE YOU
BACK TO MY OFFICE?
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Eric: YES.
>> Tim: OH, YEAH?
WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS?
YOU'RE A COW.
YOU'RE A COW.
[ Echoing ] CAPISCE?
>> Eric: AAAAAH!
OH.
[ SIGHS ]
[ SIGHS ]
>> GET IN SHAPE.
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> HAVE YOU WASTED A WHOLE DAY
PLAYING FLIGHT WHEEL?
NOW THERE'S T'IRD.
T'IRD COMBINES THE FLIGHT OF A
BIRD WITH THE CRAWLING OF A
TURTLE TO CREATE THE ONLY FLIGHT
WHEEL THAT SLOWLY COMES BACK.
FIRST THROW YOUR T'IRD.
WATCH IT SOAR UP TO A HALF-MILE
AWAY.
WHEN IT LANDS, ITS TURTLE LEGS
WILL EXTEND, AND T'IRD WILL
BEGIN HIS LONG TREK HOME.
>> TIME FOR WORK.
>> WHILE T'IRD SLUGGISHLY
RETURNS, YOU CAN SPEND YOUR DAY
PAYING BILLS, REGISTER YOURSELF
ONLINE, PLAN TOMORROW'S WORK,
SORT SOME COINS, REPAY OLD
BILLS, CALL YOUR BROTHER, STARE,
STARE, MOISTEN YOUR FENCE WOOD,
REPOSITION YOUR DOORKNOB, DIG A
HOLE TO BURY A BOX, AND T'IRD IS
STILL CRAWLING.
SWEEP YOUR LAWN, OFFER YOUR
HUSBAND A DRINK, DESTROY A
*** COLLECTION.
AND WHEN T'IRD CRAWLS BACK,
THROW IT AGAIN AND GET EVEN MORE
WORK DONE.
>> THANKS FOR LETTING ME GET MY
WORK DONE, T'IRD.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> T'IRD.
>> A CINCO TOY.
>> THAT METEOR MUST HAVE LANDED
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
>> [ ROARS ]
>> STAND BACK, STAND BACK.
>> OH.
>> [ GROWLING ]
>> WHAT IS IT? AAH!
>> PROBABLY A CROG MONSTER FROM
OUTER VECTOR CITY.
I'VE SEEN MONSTERS LIKE THIS
BEFORE.
>> ACT SCARED.
AAH!
>> STAND BACK.
>> [ GROWLS ]
>> HELLO, AND WELCOME TO
"CHANNEL 5 LOOKING AT FILM."
CUT!
MY GUEST IS LOCAL DIRECTOR
GLEN TENNIS, AND THE FILM IS A
SCIENCE-FICTION/FANTASY FILM.
I LOVE MOVIES.
IS THIS THE SECOND FILM THAT
YOU'VE MADE?
IT SAYS ON THIS THAT YOU'VE MADE
TWO FILMS.
IS THIS THE FIRST OR SECOND?
>> THIS WOULD BE THE SECOND.
THIS IS MY -- THIS IS THE SECOND
FILM I'VE MADE.
>> GET THAT SQUARED AWAY.
WHEN A MOVIE IS MADE IN FRANCE,
IT'S CALLED CINEMA.
HOW COME THAT'S DIFFERENT?
>> UH --
>> I LOVE FILM.
>> ALL RIGHT.
YOU GONNA SHOW A CLIP, OR...
>> ♪ SPORTS ♪
♪ SPORTS ♪
♪ SPORTS ♪
>> Tim: HEY, HORSEY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
>> Eric: WELL, VERNDON, I'M
DOING WHAT I DO EVERY WEEKEND.
I'M GOING TO THE CLUB.
I'M GONNA GET SOME STRANGE TAIL
DRUNK.
THEN I'M GONNA TAKE HIM BACK TO
MY APARTMENT AND MAKE LOVE TO
HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Tim: ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME TO
GET YOU BACK IN THE BOX.
>> Eric: BUT THAT'S WHAT I WANT,
VERNDON.
>> Tim: I MEANT BACK IN THE
HOLE.
>> Eric: EXACTLY.
>> Tim: THANK YOU.
GOOD NIGHT.
>> Eric: [ LAUGHING ]
I'M ERIC WAREHEIM.
THIS NEXT PRANK IS CALLED
"SPIDER WEB ATTACK."
TIM HATES SPIDER WEBS.
AH-HA!
>> Tim: AAH!
[BLEEP]
[BLEEP] YOU!
[BLEEP] [BLEEP]
GET OUT OF MY FACE.
>> [BLEEP] YOU!
>> Tim: GET IT OUT OF HERE!
AAH!
>> HE'S GONNA PUKE!
[ LAUGHS ]
SPIDER ATTACK, SPIDER ATTACK!
>> Tim: [BLEEP]
SOMEONE PLEASE...
>> THEY WERE CREATED AS PART OF
THE, UH --
>> CROGAN "A" EXPERIMENT.
IDIOT!
>> I WAS SAYING IT.
>> NO, YOU WEREN'T!
GOD!
MAN, ARE YOU RETARDED?
ARE YOU RETARDED?
YOU'RE NOT?
>> THAT IS NOT PART OF
"CRYSTAL SHYPS."
THAT'S NOT PART OF THE STORY.
>> IN THE FILM -- SCENE WHERE
YOU GET ANGRY AND YELL AT THE
OTHER PERFORMERS --
>> THAT'S NOT PART OF THE MOVIE,
THOUGH.
>> I SAW IT.
>> "CRYSTAL SHYPS" IS A
CONTAINED STORY.
>> I SAW IT.
>> THAT PART WAS NOT MEANT FOR
YOUR EYES.
>> I LIKED WHERE YOUR CHARACTER
WAS YELLING.
I DON'T KNOW.
>> OKAY, CUT.
CUT, JUST CUT.
>> DIRECTING.
>> THAT'S NOT PART OF THE MOVIE.
I'M NOT YELLING.
IT'S NOT PART OF
"CRYSTAL SHYPS."
THAT WAS "ON THE CUTTING ROOM
FLOOR" TYPE STUFF.
>> Tim: I'M GONNA BE OUT
THURSDAY AND FRIDAY.
I'M GETTING THE EARS
PROFESSIONALLY CLEANED.
>> OH, THAT'S A GOOD MOVE --
WORTH EVERY PENNY.
>> Tim: WELL, IT HAS GOTTEN VERY
INFECTED IN THERE.
>> WHO'S DOING IT FOR YOU?
>> Eric: MR. HENDERSON, THIS IS
FOR YOU.
>> Tim: CAROL?
YOU ARE LOOKING FANTASTIC.
COME IN HERE.
GO AHEAD.
SIT DOWN.
>> Eric: HEY, LARRY.
>> CAROL.
>> Tim: WOW, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING, CAROL?
YOU ON A DIET OR SOMETHING?
>> Eric: JUST TAKING CARE OF
MYSELF.
>> Tim: THIS IS JUST THE WAY I
LIKE IT.
MAN.
GOOD ENOUGH FOR A POKE, RIGHT?
>> Eric: YEAH. YES.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Eric: ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> Tim: I'M VERY SERIOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU, UH, COME BY MY
OFFICE IN A COUPLE HOURS, AND
WE'LL MAKE SURE THAT GOES DOWN?
>> Eric: YES.
UGH!
>> Tim: OH, LAR, WHAT THE HELL?
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
>> I, UH, JUST -- I GOT A LITTLE
OUT OF HAND.
>> Tim: I LOVE YOU, BUDDY, BUT
YOU BLEW IT.
>> WHAT?
>> Tim: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT?
YOU JUST WHACKED HER IN THE HEAD
WITH A COFFEEPOT!
I LOVED HER, ALL RIGHT?
YOU BLEW IT, CAPISCE?
[ SIGHS ]
♪ SWEET LADY ♪
♪ I LOVE YOUR BODY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL DOWN
INSIDE ♪
>> Eric: ♪ BUT I'VE GOT TO TELL
YOU ♪
♪ I DON'T THINK MY CHUNKY POUNDS
WILL COME RIGHT OFF ♪
>> Tim: THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY.
I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
>> Eric: THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
THANK YOU.
I LOVE YOU, SIR.
>> Tim: COME ON OVER HERE.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU A FRENCH
KISS.
♪ GET A POKE ON ♪
♪ A POKE ON ♪
♪ GET YOUR POKEY RIGHT ON MY
RIDE ♪
>> Eric: ♪ I WANT A POKE ON,
A GOOD POKE ON ♪
♪ I WANT A GOOD POKIN' ON YOUR
RIDE ♪
>> ♪ LOOK AT THEM, THEY'RE SO IN
LOVE ♪
♪ I BET THEY'LL FRENCH KISS ALL
NIGHT LONG ♪
♪ I WISH WE KNEW WHICH HOLE HE'S
GONNA POKE HER THROUGH ♪
♪ LOOK AT THEM, THEY'RE SO IN
LOVE ♪
♪ I BET THEY'LL FRENCH KISS ALL
NIGHT LONG ♪
♪ I WISH WE KNEW WHICH HOLE HE'S
GONNA POKE HER THROUGH ♪
>> Tim: ♪ TONIGHT ♪
♪ TONIGHT ♪
>> ♪ TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW ♪