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NARRATOR 1: Oh hello there! NARRATOR 2: How is everyone tonight? I see
some familiar faces in the crowd. Hi mom! NARRATOR 3: Good evening Tita. You look mighty
fine and beautiful tonight. (Narrator 2 shoots Narrator 3 a look)
NARRATOR 3: .... What? NARRATOR 2: Why would you even say that?
NARRATOR 1: ANYWAY, we'd all like to welcome you to Baby Love. A very interesting show
that we're sure you can all relate with. NARRATOR 3: It's about love and there's this
really nice twist in the end that just knocks you off of your feet. You see there's this
vampire and he's in love with this girl, but then there's also her werewolf best friend
so it gets really complicated. So she's like I love you Edward, but then she changes her
mind and goes I love you Jacob and everyone else who's watching wear t-shirts that says
Team Edward or Jacob and- Narrator 1 and 2 grab Narrator 3, cover his
mouth to shut him up. NARRATOR 1: (stage whisper) And of course
it's no fun if you suddenly reveal the surprise before it actually happens right?
NARRATOR 3: ... What? NARRATOR 1: You'll spoil the show for everyone!
NARRATOR 3: (a few beats as he suddenly realizes what they mean) Oh. Right. Sorry.
NARRATOR 2: And besides, we're not doing that show tonight. That's twilight. Horrible reviews.
NARRATOR 1: That's right. Tonight's show promises to be so much better. And we can tell everyone's
almost ready to get this show going yes? NARRATOR 2: If you're ready to catch the best
show ever, raise your hands and say YEAH! NARRATOR 3: (raises his hands) YEAH!
At this point, narrators can continue to rev up the crowd. Once the audience is sufficiently
excited and happy they can begin the show. NARRATOR 1: Then ladies and gentlemen, please
give a round of applause once more for Baby Love!
NARRATOR 2 and 3: YEAH! NARRATOR 3: Our story begins in the classroom.
Students of the classroom can begin to enter the stage with their chairs.
NARRATOR 3: Exciting! NARRATOR 2: A boy, our protagonist-
The boy mentioned stands up and waves to the crowd
(Narrator 3 looks confused and calls the attention of the other narrators)
NARRATOR 3: Protagonist? NARRATOR 1: (to Narrator 3) That means main
character. NARRATOR 3: Ah!
NARRATOR 2: The boy sits in his chair. (to the audience) and watch what happens.
The boy falls asleep. NARRATOR 1: (with grandeur) He falls asleep!
But not just any ordinary sleep, our boy is a dreamer and in these dreams are his innermost
desires. NARRATOR 2: Interesting isn't it? He's just
in school for now, but who knows what crazy world he could conjure? There could be monsters!
It could be in space. It can be anything at all that's out-of-the-ordinary.
NARRATOR 3: Check it out! Other actors move the boy and his chair to
one side of the stage as other actors start to fill the space to enact the world of the
boy's dream. NARRATOR 3: He's dreaming of school!
NARRATOR 2: That was anti-climactic. NARRATOR 1: (trying to save it) Now now, it's
a different school obviously. The students are different and they're not wearing uniforms.
It can still be a fantastical adventure. NARRATOR 3: Right! Maybe it's time we step
aside and watch the story unfold? NARRATOR 2: Best idea that came out of you
yet. NARRATOR 1: Yeah. Let's get out now. (notices
the audience is still watching them, points to the actors and whispers) Watch.
The three narrators then exit by tiptoeing in the least inconspicuous manner possible.
Narrator 3 even waves and mouths bye to the crowd. Once they've exited, the light changes
and the actors begin the scene. A group of stereotypical nerds are clumped
together. Two are talking about their love interests and Cole is absorbed in his video
game. NERD 1: She's so beautiful. I could watch
her from afar all day. NERD 2: Where'd you guys meet?
NERD 1: We haven't. NERD 2: Stalker.
NERD 1: Just like you when you watch Yvonne! NERD 2: I can't help it. I feel like we're
meant to be. NERD 1: Exactly how I feel about Sara. (notices
Cole's lack of participation in the conversation). Hey Cole! What about you? Who do you like?
NERD 2: Yeah! Who do you want to take to the school ball?
COLE: (still absorbed in the video game) What? NERD 2: The ball! Who do you want to be your
date? NERD 1: Yeah. Sky's the limit! Say if you
invented some mind control device that could make any girl you like fall for you, who would
it be? COLE: I don't know.
NERD 2: C'mon there's got to be a girl that you find attractive! It's basic science! We're
at that age where our hormones are extremely active so our superior intellects have no
choice, but to bow down to the call of our bodies for a viable mate.
NERD 1: Who do you want to be your eternal mate, through sickness and health, till death
do you apart? NERD 2: Yeah! Who?
Because of the excitement of the two friends, Cole loses in the video game he's playing.
COLE: Drat, I died. So what were you guys talking about again?
NERD 1 and NERD 2: GIRLS!! NERD 2: Who do you want to take to the ball?
COLE: The ball? Guess I never really thought about it. (shrugs) I'll just go alone and
bring my PSP. NERD 1: We're talking about hypotheticals
here Cole, and of all the girls that you could've possibly chosen, you chose to go to the ball
with your PSP?! NERD 2: What's up with that man!
COLE: I like video games. What's wrong with that?
NERD 1: What's wrong with... Are you seriously asking that question?
NERD 2: It's all right. All the radiation from that plasma screen has probably seeped
into his brain.What's wrong with being a geek Cole? Tell him Louis.
#1 -- Being A Geek
NERD 1 BEING A GEEK IS THE LONELIEST THING IN THE
WORLD I GOTTA TELL YA, BROTHER
WHEN YOU'RE A GEEK, IT'S THE LONELIEST THING IN THE WORLD
NERD 2 YOU'RE ALWAYS WONDERING WHAT EVERYBODY'S LAUGHING
ABOUT AND STARING IN AT THE WORLD LIKE YOU GOT LOCKED
OUT NERD 1
NOTHING IS WORSE IT'S A CRIME, IT'S A CURSE
IT'S THE LONELIEST THING IN THE WORLD NERD 3
BEING A GEEK IS THE SORRIEST STATE EVER KNOWN I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
AND BEING A GEEK DOESN'T GO ONCE YOU'RE GONE OR YOU'RE GROWN
NERD 2 THE GIRLS ALL ROLL THEIR EYES AND WALK AWAY
WHEN YOU GET CLOSE NERD 1
YOU'VE GOT A FATAL DISEASE NO ONE CAN DIAGNOSE NERD 3
IT'S CONTAGIOUS NERD 2
IT'S VIRAL NERD 1 AND NERD 2 AND NERD 3
IT'S A DOWNWARD SPIRAL ALL NERDS (EXCEPT COLE)
THE LONELIEST THING IN THE WORLD NERD 3
BUT WHEN YOU'RE COOL WHEN YOU'RE COOL YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT A CROWD
NERD 1 YOU CAN BREAK THE RULES 'CAUSE YOUR ALLOWED
NERD 2 YOU CAN SWAY THE GANG IN ANY DIRECTION
COLE YOU'VE GOT A HIGH SPEED CONNECTION
NERD 2 WHEN YOU'RE COOL, YOU'RE THE EPITOME OF CHARM
AND GRACE NERD 3
WHEN YOU WANT TO GET TO SECOND BASE IF YOU'RE COOL YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT A SHOT
NERD 1 BUT OH! IF YOU'RE NOT
IT'S A WASTE, IT'S A DRAG NERD 2
IT'S "SUCK" IN A BAG ALL
IT'S THE LONIELIEST THING IN THE WORLD GEEK,GEEK
GEEK, GEEK GEEK, GEEK
WHOA-OH
COLE: That was depressing. NERD 1: But it's only for now. We know we're
going to be successful and we're going to realize that all we need to do for people
to like us is to just be ourselves... NERD 2: But we're teenagers. We're dramatic.
Jason and Peter, two jocks enter the stage with their posse. They notice the group of
geeks and make their way towards them. Some geeks exit from fear.
JASON: Yo geeks! What's happening! PETER: (grabs Cole's PSP) What's this?
COLE: It's my PSP. Be careful with it please. PETER: Be careful?
JASON: Whoa. Are you like, talking back to my friend Peter here?
PETER: Whoa! I think he was. JASON: Do you know what we do to talker-backers
like- NERD 1: He wasn't talking back Jason! He's
just really obsessive compulsive with his stuff.
JASON: Obsessive what now? PETER: Talk normal geek.
COLE: What he's trying to say is that I love my PSP and I'm just scared that you might
damage it... (Peter puffs up his chest and glowers menacingly at Cole). Please don't
hurt me. PETER: Nah. We're just messing with you man
(tosses the PSP back to Cole) A group of girls enter the stage opposite
from where they are. JASON: We're cool. Just had to show off a
little bit for the chicks. You understand right?
The geeks notice the girls and they start to panic. Some can wheeze heavily others fidget
nervously. NERD 2: (out of ecstasy and excitement) Yvonne!
PETER: (wags his finger at Nerd 2) Hey nerd.I call dibs.
The girls are strolling casually and their group meets the jocks and nerds.
YVONNE: Hey Jason! Hey Peter! Peter is surprised and flabbergasted that
the girls had approached and now repeatedly stutters and blubbers about trying to keep
it cool, but failing terribly at it. PETER: Ah- Hi. How are you Yvonne? You look-you
look-you-loo-loo-look... NERD 2: Beautiful.
Peter looks aghast at Nerd 2 as it was like he took the words from his mouth. The girls
look at each other and giggle, they found Nerd 2's show of affection charming.
YVONNE: Aww. Thanks! That was sweet. Um, I don't think we've met. You are?
Nerd 2 melts to a gooey puddle of feelings and both he and Peter struggle to get words
out. COLE: His name is Louis and he would love
to take you to the ball. YVONNE: (amused) Oh. Well. I'll wait till
you finally ask me yourself then Louis. Later. (waves goodbye)
Nerd 2 and Peter still struggle to get words out but awkwardly just manage to wave goodbye
gesturing that they have to go.The nerds and jocks then exit together in this awkward fashion.
SARA: Oh my god. So Yvonne who are you going to the ball with?
YVONNE: No one's asked me out yet. That Louis guy didn't even talk to me. His friend had
to ask for him (a beat). I feel ugly. JESSICA: What are you talking about? Peter
totally has a crush on you! YVONNE: Peter? What? He does not! He's never
even looked at me or spoken to me. SARA: I just want to say I'm totally excited
for the ball. I don't care who I go with as long as someone tells me I'm gorgeous.
YVONNE: I know! I just want to feel pretty one night and let loose. I'm going to have
my hair and makeup done by my mom's stylist friend.
JESSICA: Oh my god oh my god. Can I please, PLEASE, go with you? I want to look hot too!
YVONNE: We can all go together! SARA and JESSICA and YVONNE: Yay! Girl date!
The girls all giggle excitedly except Sabrina. SARA: You should come too Sabrina. Live life
a little. Let down your hair and let the world see that you're a pretty girl like us too.
YVONNE: Yeah, c'mon we're like friends and friends share everything.
SABRINA: (reading a book) I don't know. I don't care much for boys or clothes, or the
ball for that matter. JESSICA: (sighs) I really don't get you Sabrina.
The ball is like the most important event in our teenage lives. It's the first time
that we get to hangout with boys! YVONNE: It's going to be fun come on! You
can't go and not be made up! SABRINA: Well, I was sort of thinking of skipping
it. ALL GIRLS: WHAT?!!?
SARA: (with much emphasis) You can't be serious. JESSICA: No way, that's crazy!
YVONNE: Why would you even think such a thing? JESSICA: This is our chance, Sabrina, to find
a boy who we can fall in love with! SARA: Exactly. We'll look so good that the
boys have no choice but to fall on their knees and beg us to be their girlfriends.
YVONNE: Totally. SABRINA: Guys, I don't know. I really don't
get why you guys are so into finding yourself a guy to be with.
SARA: (a few beats as the girls search for the words) Because!
JESSICA: Yeah! SABRINA: But Sara, what about that boy you
dated, the one that didn't work out? And Yvonne, aren't you tired of dropping hints at random
boys, hoping they'll chase you around? And Jessica, don't get me started on your history.
I mean girls, what's the point if it's not going to work out. Isn't it just a waste of
time and energy? All girls just stare at Sabrina, with various
expressions of shock and disbelief at what she just said.
YVONNE: Whatever Sabrina. Don't be a hater. SARA: Anyway girls, back to the topic at hand,
who's going to be your date at the ball!
#2 -- Ready to Be Loved
YVONNE I THINK I'VE WORKED IT OUT
I THINK THE CLOUD AT LAST HAS MOVED ASIDE I'VE SPENT A LIFETIME WAITING
AWOKE TO FIND MY ARMS ARE OPEN WIDE JESSICA
THERE COMES A POINT WHEN THINGS AREN'T CLEAR THEN THEY SHIFT INTO PERSPECTIVE
ALL HESITATION SEEMS TO DISAPPEAR SARA
I KNOW I'VE FOUND MY WAY I'VE FINALLY FOUND THE WAY TO LET THINGS GO
JESSICA THE PAST IS THERE TO TEACH YOU
MISTAKES PROVIDE THE PAIN THAT HELPS YOU GROW SARA
SO I HAVE HEALED AND I HAVE GROWN AT SOME POINT I GUESS YOU HAVE TO
BUT I DON'T WANT TO FACE THE WORLD ON MY OWN YVONNE
SOMETHING HAS GOT TO START I AM READY TO BE LOVED!
SARA SOMEONE COME STEAL MY HEART
I AM READY TO BE LOVED! JESSICA
I KNOW YOU'LL FIND ME, IT TAKES TIME TODAY I KNOW
ALL GIRLS (EXCEPT SABRINA) THAT I'M READY TO BE LOVED!
SABRINA I WON'T DEPEND ON YOU
I DON'T WANT COMFORT I DON'T NEED A CRUSH I DON'T NEED TO CARE FOR SOMEONE
AND KNOW THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE CARES FOR ME AS MUCH
I'M ON THE SEARCH FOR SOMETHING GREAT I WON'T SETTLE FOR CONTENTMENT
THOUGH I AM WILLING TO, I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ALL GIRLS (EXCEPT SABRINA)
SOMETHING HAS GOT TO START
JESSICA I AM READY TO BE LOVED!
ALL GIRLS (EXCEPT SABRINA) SOMEONE COME STEAL MY HEART
YVONNE I AM READY TO BE LOVED!
SARA I KNOW YOU'LL FIND ME, IT TAKES TIME
ALL GIRLS (EXCEPT SABRINA) TODAY I KNOW
SARA THAT I'M READY TO BE LOVED!
YVONNE I WAS ALWAYS THE GIRL WHO THOUGHT SHE NEEDED
TO BE TOUGH JESSICA
I WAS NEVER THE GIRL WHO LIKED HERSELF ENOUGH SARA
TO FEEL LIKE SHE DESERVED SOMEONE WHO CARES ALL GIRLS (EXCEPT SABRINA)
BUT NOW I DO, YES I DO NOW I'M PREPARED
ALL SOMETHING HAS GOT TO START
I AM READY TO BE LOVED SOMEONE COME STEAL MY HEART
I AM READY TO BE LOVED I KNOW YOU'LL FIND ME IT TAKES TIME
BUT TODAY I KNOW THAT I'M READY TO BE LOVED I AM READY TO BE LOVED
Lights fade and narrators enter downstage. They talk to the audience again with the subtext
of convincing them the show is amazing. NARRATOR 1: What a great set of characters
right? NARRATOR 3: I am super glued to the story!
NARRATOR 1: So we have our stereotypes, but remember, this is the world of that daydreaming
kid. NARRATOR 2: Anything can happen! I wonder
The school ball! I'm so excited for this. I wonder who's going to go with who! Will
Yvonne say yes to that nerdy Louis? He's devilishly charming.
Narrator 1 and 2 look at Narrator 3 as if he's gone crazy in the head.
NARRATOR 3: In an awkward way. NARRATOR 2: Hey, can we have some fun? It's
the ball right? Can we join in the dancing? NARRATOR 3: Ooohh! I want I want! (to Narrator
1) Can we? NARRATOR 1: I don't see why not. We are after
all telling the story. We can do whatever we want!
ALL NARRATORS: (they high five one another) Narrators go to join the dancing crowd, grooving
to the tune of Footloose.
#3 -- Footloose
At the end of the song, everyone suddenly freezes and the lights go crazy for a moment
then calms down. NARRATOR 1: Uh-oh. What's happened? Why did
the music stop? What were those freaky lights? Narrator 3 is still dancing and grooving to
his own beat when Narrator 2 slaps him out of it.
NARRATOR 2: Hey, stop dancing. Something's wrong!
The sound of evil laughter comes from the wings and enters the Evil Villain, The Beat,
with his three most loyal minions. The narrators then scramble to hide among the frozen students.
THE BEAT: (evil cackle) All is going according to plan. This is most excellent. Soon this
whole school will have no choice, but to bow down to me! I will make them beg and plead
for mercy! ALL 3 MINIONS: (joins in The Beat's evil laughter)
THE BEAT: (stops laughing) What are you doing Minions?
MINION 1: Laughing with you boss. MINION 2: Yeah boss, laughing with you...
MINION 3: (notices The Beat's frown) Not at you boss. With you!
(a few beats) MINION 3: Sorry boss we didn't mean to.
MINION 2: Yeah I was just hungry and they started it.
MINION 1: It'll never happen again. THE BEAT: Good. (she then resumes her evil
laughter) The minions join her again and are silenced
by a look from The Beat. The Beat resumes laughing again and the minions join her once
more and again, are silenced by The Beat's glare. This cycle can repeat for a total of
three times. THE BEAT: (in frustration) Imbeciles! Stop
laughing with me! MINION 3: Huh? What are you talking about
boss? MINION 2: Yeah we weren't laughing.
MINION 1: Maybe you heard the wind. THE BEAT: (sighs) So hard to find good minions
nowadays. Never mind! For now, it is time to head back to the Beat Box and finish the
preparations for our dastardly plot. MINION 2: The Beat Box boss? Where's that?
MINION 1: Yeah boss, I don't know where that is.
MINION 3: (has a light bulb moment) Wait! Minion 3 takes out a map and a compass and
begins to make calculations attempting to discern where they are.
MINION 3: I think we're lost boss. THE BEAT: Fools!! The Beat Box is our evil
lair! (a beat)
ALL 3 MINIONS: (sounds of recognition) Ah! MINION 1: Why is it called the Beat Box boss?
Isn't that a weird name for a house? MINION 2: Yeah boss, kind of weird.
MINION 3: Very weird boss. THE BEAT: (getting more and more frustrated)
Because my evil villain name is The Beat. Seriously what's wrong with the lot of you!
(makes a frustrated noise) Let's just go now and prepare to execute phase 2 of our plan!
MINION 1: You got it boss. MINION 2: Phase 2 let's go!
MINION 3: (does the evil cackle) ALL 3 MINIONS: (do the evil cackle)
The minions make towards one direction. It is the wrong one.
THE BEAT: (screams) You ninnies the lair is this way!
MINION 1: Of course boss. MINION 2: We knew that.
MINION 3: (does the evil cackle) ALL 3 MINIONS: (do the evil cackle)
The group exit and the narrators take downstage once more.
NARRATOR 2: This kid sure dreamed up a crazy villain. What kind of name is The Beat?
NARRATOR 3: I am so not scared of them. NARRATOR 1: I wonder what their dastardly
run off the stage and as the lights calm down, the students begin to unfreeze. A light shift
and chaos ensues. Boys and girls pair up and start professing wild statements of love to
one another. Others can even propose. Some can sweep the girls of their feet and exit.
Soon the stage is left empty with the exception of Cole, Sabrina, Jason and Peter.
PETER: Whoa. What just happened? JASON: Everyone went crazy dude.
SABRINA: They were all telling one another they loved each other.
COLE: Well, people don't just fall in love that fast I guess, I mean sure, you can find
someone attractive (looks at Sabrina, noticing her beauty for the first time), but it doesn't
mean you love them already. You have to get to know them first right?
JASON: So what are you saying nerd freak? Some dude cast a spell on the school?
COLE: It could be that strangely dressed woman with the minions.
PETER: Well okay, so why aren't we in love like everyone else?
COLE: Maybe we're not the only ones. At this point a guy and a girl appear on opposite
ends of the stage and begin to run to each other in slow motion. More couples appear
and randomly run to each other in the same manner as the group moves about the stage
looking for other people. SABRINA: Doesn't seem like there's anyone
else left. PETER: So why are we the only ones not affected?
And how come you know so much about what's happening bro?
COLE: I play a lot of video games. (To Sabrina) Do you play?
SABRINA: (looking around at the couples) Hmm? Not really. I prefer to read.
COLE: Really? I like reading too occasionally. What books do you like?
SABRINA: Well, I sort of like the Ha- JASON: (exasperated) Why is everyone in love,
but not us? This doesn't make sense! Maybe we should go look for that Beat person.
Peter sees Louis and Yvonne running to each other.
PETER: Yvonne!! Damn it. I called dibs. How come we're not in love like everybody else?
(desperately) I'm one of the cool people. I deserve to be in love. It's what's right!
(grabs Cole by the collar) Why is this happening? SABRINA: Hey, leave him alone.
JASON: Ooohh what's this? Are you guys falling in love now?
PETER: (mockingly) The gamer nerd and the cool, beatnik chick!
SABRINA: Shut up. Love is for losers who have time to waste on useless things.
JASON: Sorry nerd man. Looks like she's not into you.
Jason and Peter laugh out loud. PETER: So uh, what do we do now?
COLE: I guess the only thing we can do is to go to that Beat Box place.
JASON: Whoa dude. That girl was evil and scary man.
COLE: What else can we do? SABRINA: He's right. But we can't just waltz
in there. We need a plan. PETER: (to Sabrina) Hold up, I just realized
we haven't been introduced sexy lady. Peter puts his arm around Sabrina.
PETER: I'm- Sabrina elbows Peter in the gut and the wind
gets knocked out of him. SABRINA: Don't even try Peter. (faces Cole)
You... Cole sort of backs away fearing that Sabrina
might punch him. SABRINA: ...on the other hand,I haven't met.
(extends her hand to Cole) Sabrina. COLE: (shakes Sabrina's hand) Cole.
There is tension as they shake hands then look into each other's eyes for some time.Light
shift and the narrators take the stage. NARRATOR 3: A charming group of heroes, aren't
they? NARRATOR 2: I know right.
NARRATOR 1: So our strange group of heroes formulates an ingenious plan that'll help
them infiltrate the Evil Villain's lair. NARRATOR 2: They realize that as the only
ones not in love, they could be easily detected. So to be able to slip into the lair they would
have to disguise themselves like couples who are happily in love.
NARRATOR 3: It's going to take some work. Uh, so why were they the only ones not affected
by that love thing? NARRATOR 2: Well, Cole was probably too much
into his video games to bother with love. NARRATOR 1: And Sabrina finds it too much
of a hassle and a waste of time. NARRATOR 3: And the two jocks?
A beat. NARRATOR 1: All the girls were taken already.
NARRATOR 3: Oh. What a twist. NARRATOR 1: Exactly. So our heroes go in search
of the legendary place of beautification. NARRATOR 2: Time passes. They get to know
one another, their likes and dislikes and as a group, they slowly get to bond.
NARRATOR 3: (with mischief) Some, more than others.
NARRATOR 1: And finally they reach their destination! The famed mansion of Cornelia and her people.
NARRATOR 3: Who's Cornelia? Narrators exit and light shift as Cornelia
and her army of stylists enter. CORNELIA: Hello dearie, could you please help
this lock of hair? I can't seem to get it to lie flat. Grab that blow dryer and give
me hand won't you. STYLIST 1: Right away Madame Cornelia.
CORNELIA: And dearie, please change those pants! They make you look fat. The horizontal
stripes do nothing for your figure. STYLIST 2: Yes Madame Cornelia.
CORNELIA: And you, well you look ravishing. Who styled you?
STYLIST 3: You did Madame Cornelia. CORNELIA: Well it's fantastic. I simply feel
so at peace when everything is as beautiful as it should be.
Stylist 4 enters the stage running with a frightened look on his face.
STYLIST 4: Madame we have a problem! CORNELIA: What is it?
STYLIST 4: There are people approaching the house and-and...
CORNELIA: Well, spit it out. Our heroes, Cole, Sabrina, and the two jocks
enter the stage. CORNELIA: Oh dear god! What are you wearing?
Why are you all dressed like that? It's horrible. The other stylists also register shock and
disgust. JASON: Hey what now? You saying we look ugly?
PETER: Yeah, we'll rough you up little miss prissy.
SABRINA: Shut up both of you. Forgive my thickheaded friends. We came here for help Madame Cornelia.
CORNELIA: Help? Well you definitely need help indeed. And you came to the right place. (pleased
that she has the opportunity to make someone up). We can definitely make the lot of you
look *** and span and gorgeous in no time. COLE: It's not just that Madame Cornelia.
The whole school seems to under some love spell and everyone's goo-goo over each other.
nothing girly, the boy hardly a prince charming, and what are we going to do with the two big
oafs over there? Cornelia takes a moment to think.
CORNELIA: I do love a challenge. (calls her people to conference around her) Stylists!
The stylists all crowd around Cornelia and she discusses with them the plan.
CORNELIA: Obviously, we have to make the girl up. Mani-pedi, haircut, grab a shaver while
you're at it. The boy just needs the right clothes and... hair product!! We need lots
of it! Now we'll pair the nerdy one with the girl. The other two boys are paired together
and make sure to wax them down! Take out those horrendous unibrows.
PETER: What! Wait. What did you say? CORNELIA: You said you had to look like beautiful
couples. JASON: You're pairing us up?
STYLIST 2: It only makes sense sweetie. Your body types will look good next to each other.
(lies) Both of you are very hunky so it's perfect.
PETER: (flattered) Hunky? Well. I do workout. JASON: Dude shut up. They'll make one of us
look like a girl! PETER: Huh? No way! You can't!
CORNELIA: Oh sweetheart, there's nothing we can't do.
Peter and Jason look confused and afraid of what's to come next.
Stylists all cheer.
CORNELIA WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE LESS FORTUNATE THAN
I LET'S FACE IT, WHO ISN'T LESS FORTUNATE THAN
I? MY TENDER HEART TENDS TO START TO BLEED
AND WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS A MAKEOVER
PETER: Uh, what?
CORNELIA I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKE OVER
I KNOW, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY NEED STYLIST 1
AND EVEN IN YOUR CASE THOUGH IT'S THE TOUGHEST CASE WE'VE YET TO
STYLIST 2 DON'T WORRY, WE'RE DETERMINED TO SUCCEED
FOLLOW CORNELIA'S LEAD
STYLISTS 1 AND 2 AND YES INDEED, YOU WILL BE
YOU'RE GOING TO BE POPULAR I'LL TEACH YOU THE PROPER POISE
WHEN YOU TALK TO BOYS LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT AND FLOUNCE
ALL STYLISTS OOOHHH!
CORNELIA I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT SHOES TO WEAR
HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR EVERYTHING THAT REALLY COUNTS TO BE
ALL STYLISTS POPULAR!
CORNELIA I'LL HELP YOU BE POPULAR
YOU'LL HANG WITH THE RIGHT COHORTS YOU'LL BE GOOD AT SPORTS
KNOW THE SLANG YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW LIKE TOTES, SO LET'S START
CAUSE YOU'VE GOT AN AWFULLY LONG WAY TO GO STLYIST 3
DON'T BE OFFENDED BY HER FRANK ANALYIS THINK OF IT AS PERSONALITY DIALYSIS
STYLIST 4 NOW THAT SHE'S CHOSEN TO BECOME A PAL, SISTER,
ADVISOR THERE'S NOBODY WISER!
ALL STYLISTS NOT WHEN IT COMES TO
POPULAR SHE KNOWS ABOUT POPULAR
CORNELIA WITH AN ASSIST FROM ME
TO BE WHO YOU'LL BE INSTEAD OF DREARY WHO YOU WERE
WELL ARE SABRINA: Hey!
CORNELIA THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU
FROM BECOMING POPULER, LAR ALL STYLISTS
LA, LA, LA, LA! WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU POPULAR
CORNELIA WHEN I SEE DEPRESSING CREATURES
WITH UNPREPOSSESSING FEATURES I REMIND THEM ON THEIR OWN BEHALF
TO THINK OF STLYIST 4
CELEBRATED HEADS OF STATE STYLIST 3
OR SPECIALLY GREAT COMMUNICATORS CORNELIA
DID THEY HAVE BRAINS OR KNOWLEDGE? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH
THEY WERE POPULAR! PLEASE, IT'S ALL ABOUT POPULAR
IT'S NOT ABOUT APTITUDE IT'S THE WAY YOU'RE VIEWED
SO IT'S VERY SHREWD TO BE
CORNELIA AND STYLISTS VERY VERY POPULAR LIKE ME
Through the choreography and song, they've made the group look beautiful. Sabrina is
resplendent in a very feminine outfit. Cole is spiffed up. Peter is also dressed in a
more casual beach outfit while Jason is dressed like a girl. They are all hidden behind the
wall of stylists. CORNELIA: C'est magnifique!
STYLIST 4: It's your best work yet Madame Cornelia.
STYLIST 2: Indeed. We thought it was impossible, but you worked your magic once again!
CORNELIA: Now now, ladies, you flatter me too much.
Stylists part aside to reveal the newly made-up group of heroes. They look ridiculous.
JASON: (laughs at Peter) You look stupid man! PETER: Well at least I don't look like a girl
with man hands. COLE: (to Sabrina) You look nice.
SABRINA: Really? I look like a boy! COLE: No I like it. It makes you look like
the strong, confident woman you are. SABRINA: (sincerely flattered) Thanks. Well,
you look spiffy. You should dress up like that more often.
COLE: You think? SABRINA: It suits you.
They smile at each other. CORNELIA: You can all thank me now. Did I
work magic or what? Now, I know of this Beat person. She is totes cray.
SABRINA: Sorry what? CORNELIA: How do you say, totally crazy!
STYLIST 4: She's loco! STYLIST 3: Look at the way she dresses, terrible
fashion sense. CORNELIA: So please, be careful mon amie.
It is a dangerous journey you have taken. But at least you look fabulous!
COLE: (whispered to Sabrina) Especially Jason. Sabrina gigglesand punches his shoulder affectionately.
COLE: (smiling) Ow. (then realizing the punch really hurt).
Light shift and the group onstage freezes as the narrators run in and once more begin
talking to the audience. Narrator 3 is distracted by Jason and begins to check his outfit out.
NARRATOR 3: See you in 10!