Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Hey, what's up GG (guys and girls)? CouilleBleu's back today to show you how to play
Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to become the most tanky little *** in your family.
In the laning phase, you must smack your opponent in the face with an Auto Attack-Hammer of Doom combo to show him who's the top lane big boss bully
and when you unlock your ButtFucking Charge technique, you have to use it to stick that dog to the wall to make him understand that only one ''Poppy'' can stand on Summoner's Rift.
If the enemy wants to take a minion kill, you shall deny him with a ButtFucking Charge to *** him off even more.
After harassing the other party like a boss, you should let yourself get hit a few times on purpose to show everyone that Malphite The Rock Solid Dude is a fraud.
You're almost dead? Don't worry about Ezreal, he does no damage.
You're getting ganked? Use your ultimate on that doggy to not suffer any damage from Nami's sex slave and dandy walk back home like nothing happened.
When you're ready to go for a kill, you should perform a ButtFucking Charge-Hammer of Doom combo to damage him a bit,
drink some Redbull to move faster and stick to his *** like a crazy glue while swinging your hammer like a crazy girl in heat and finish that lovely date by slamming that poor guy on that building.
Since you're Teemo's *** friend #2, you'll get ganked by the enemy jungler 24/7 since you possess a small portion of the famous Global Taunt,
but don't worry and use your ultimate on the champion that deals peanut damage and kill him without being disturbed by that sexy pole dancer.
If you can't press R to win, run near your tower like a ***,
keep your Barrier and Heal until these greedy fuckabishes towerdive to use them and finish off that Monkey boy to get a free double candies.
If you know you can't run away to safety, dance around your minions to let them *** that badass ***, use your Barrier at the last second to survive the fight
and super smash Nintendog while healing yourself and your comrades-in-arms to have a wonderful night with the ladies.
After you get your Blade of the Ruined King, you can be sure that not a single enemy will be able to go back home safely.
If the enemy is a bit far away from you, do not hesitate to use your ButtFucking Charge skill on a minion to close the gap between you two and,
when you finally get your hands on the Furor enchantment for your boots, not even Ashe will be able to run away from your clutch.
If you want to help the other lanes, feel free to do so by slamming that RC Helicopter to the wall before he flies away to safety and enjoy your fearsome foursome to the fullest.
Late game, you'll be so tanky thanks to all these beautiful items and that is why you'll be able to duel anyone without worrying about dying.
With your Redbull skill, you can outrun any enemy before they reach you and it is extremely useful to ditch your teammates to save your own hide.
Thanks to your Hammer of Doom skill, you can become the most fed yordle in the company by securing every kill for yourself
without letting that Holy Cow Headbutt Machine or that Human Barbecue take them before you.
With your incredible ButtFucking Charge skill, you'll be able to corner an unlucky peasant that will literally get *** by your group and he won't be able to lift a finger on you.
Combine your ButtFucking Charge and your Hammer of Doom into a combo to be able to push the enemy further away from your teammates to be sure to get the kills for yourself,
to stop these persistent fatherfuckers from chasing you and, of course, to (HOLA PAPPY) your own allies.
Thanks to your ultimate skill, you will avoid getting bangbang and these guys can try to slow you, stun you, knock you up or whatever *** they want to pull without ever succeeding.
When you get your Sunfire Cape, pushing back your lane won't be a problem anymore.
When you get your Randuin's Omen, you will be able to kill anyone slowly and painfully.
In teamfights, you can simply copy Leeroy Jenkins,
use your ultimate on the champion that deals the least damage in the other team (a.k.a support for dummies) to become a perfect version of Tryndamere
and do everything you can to limit the damage done to your partners to dominate every fight like a boss.
If you decide to ninja gank, ButtFucking Charge him to the wall and smack his pretty face so hard that even Taric will stop going out with him.
Then, use your ultimate on the enemy mid laner to show everyone that you can't be killed even if you let The Wannabe Bomberman hit you on purpose.
After that, chase that Robot Pikachu to get even more pocket money.
If your Guardian Angel is available, simply Flash near The Blood Sucker to get an easy kill, bring Shen closer to your teammate with a Yordle Charge and enjoy the show.
If you follow everything demonstrated in this video, you will naturally become a D magnet to have all the fun that you ever wanted.
That's it for today, people!
Don't forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos.
Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I'll only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.
Ciaossu!