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I swear, my elbow was on the handle on my side of the seat,
and there comes this stupid chick and...
Damn, girl, I'd get pissed off as well!
And she's acting like nothing happened. But of course I...
Then she nudged me again!
My elbow off of my half of the handle!
I looked at her and she completely ignored me.
But then I...
Take that, ***!
Kudos to you, girl, I would have done the same!
What happened then?
Nothing, she ran crying to the lavatory.
The nerve of some people... Listen to this.
I'm sitting behind the counter and there's nothing to do,
so I'm winding my hair around my finger,
and suddenly this old hag appears carrying some onions.
Like a walking corpse, she could barely move!
She steps up to me and asks:
“What is the origin of these onions?”
I stared at her and said:
“***, do I look like some peasant digging up dirt in the garden?!”
And she was all like: “How rude!”
She's wasting my time and I'm the rude one?!
Yeah, these grannies are nothing but a nuisance anyway.
Then I told that old hag to drop dead and all hell broke loose.
Hey, did you know that Ramo and I got into an argument yesterday?
Again? Now what?
He ate my mask out of the fridge.
What mask?
A face mask, a cucumber.
He just mixed it with yoghurt and ate it.
Damn, girl, I'd totally freak out over that.
Did he at least apologize afterwards?
Yeah, right... All he did was burp. A true Bosandjeros...
Hairy back, just like his father.
I told him to get me a new cucumber till 4 p.m.
And now it's five past four.
I just know he's gonna call me anytime now...
He's probably trying to reach me as we speak, but I want him to suffer a little.
Hey, did you know he ran some guy over with his car?
Yeah, I've heard something. What happened?
Check this out. Ramo and his friend are waiting for the traffic light
and some stoner starts honking. Ramo of course lost his nerves.
I don't know why, but in the end he ran him over.
Wait, Krezo, I didn't understand this story.
Why did that chefur run that guy over with his car?
I don't get it. -Because of the eggs, dude. Why else?
Not because of the eggs! Come on, try to keep up, people! They were...
Debeljko, you fat ***! Listen up 'cause I'm not telling the same story again!
So, this chefur picks his buddy up...
Where have you been? -*** it, I'm here now.
Ooh, what fragrant car you have! -It's not the car, I'm wearing perfume.
What kind of scent is that?
Two faggots. -What faggots?
Dolce and Gabbana.
Oh, how sweet they smell! -Naturally, of course they do!
Go, go, go! -The *** railway barrier! How come this *** always happens to me?!
I swear, those switchmen are surveilling me or something!
I'll *** your mothers and your *** barrier!
If you had listened to me, we would have made it across. Now wait it out.
Now you're breaking my balls as well?
Stop messing with that thing!
You always manage to break everything.
What's the matter with you, Brko? Stop staring at me, you shaggy ***!
You look like it's the first time you've seen a Benz!
Get the *** outta here!
***... Did you see how he was looking at me?
It's true. I just happened to pass by at that time.
The guy must've been on *** or something, totally nervous.
He was in my face for no reason...
Stop interfering with my story, Brko! Who's telling it, me or you?
And all I did was glanced at him... -Brko!
So, at the railway crossing...
Have I told you about my dreams yet?
Oh, no you don't! I'd rather get out of the car!
You always bore the *** out of me with your dreams!
Wait a minute! I dreamt that my girl was into lesbians! -Really?
Do tell.
I dreamt she was talking on the phone with her friend...
Aah, no, it wasn't a traffic light, it was a railway crossing.
They were right in front of the barrier, waiting for the train.
And then one chefur starts telling the other chefur that his girlfriend is a... lesbian.
Oh, come on, what a load of ***!
How would you know what they were talking about, when you weren't even there?
Can't you be quiet for a minute, Debeljko?! Shut the *** up already!
He was about to tell us about the girls and you keep interrupting him! -Yeah, *** off!
Go on, Krezo. That thing... with the girls...
lesbians... in full detail...
Wait, wait... Tell it slowly, thoroughly, and in detail.
Okay then. She starts talking about...
Damn him! If he doesn't bring me that cucumber,
I swear I'll get it myself and shove it up his...
And then she asks her...
Oh, that's right; I heard you've had your first girl-on-girl experience!
How was it?
It was great! Better than with any guy!
Yeah right, how can it be better than with a guy?
How the *** should I know, it's a dream!
So that chick starts telling her about it and she gets completely aroused...
Wait a minute, why is she then...?
Will you be quiet! Shut the *** up already!
Shut him up will you!
Okay, Krezo, go on.
And there, peeping through the window, is Johnny Depp.
I thought I saw Johnny Deep!
Uhm... Are you sure it's not something you've smoked?
Ooh, I'm sweating just by listening about it.
Are you kidding? I woke up in a pool of sweat.
What the hell do you want?!
Wait until I turn it on!
You honk that horn one more time and I'll honk your mother!
Oh, man, now you're screwed!
Hey, you, ***!
What the hell are you honking about, idiot! Get the *** out!
Come on, man, can't you see I'm in a hurry?
What's that you're smoking?
Are you stupid or something?
What's wrong with you, man? Can't you see I'm in a hurry?
The train's long gone, man, and you're still not moving.
My girlfriend's making cookies and she sent me for some eggs, so...
Hey, dipshit, do I look like I came over here to argue?
Firstly, dude, peace...
Just let me explain the situation from my perspective.
My girlfriend and I were at home making cookies, when she asks if I have any eggs.
“Of course I have eggs,” I replied.
We started kneading the dough and then I realize I forgot to buy the eggs.
Then she says: “Go to the grocery store and bring some eggs, pronto!”
So I go to the store, but then
I have to wait for this *** train, man.
After the train finally passes, there's a guy who won't start his car, and that guy is you.
That's the situation from my perspective.
Oh, really?
Now shall I explain the situation from my perspective?
Sure, why not.
Oh, man, I can't stand these two anymore...
I just need some eggs...
Have I made myself clear?!
These stoners, man, they just *** me off!
Why aren't you honking now, ***?!
Why did you have to stab that guy with a toothpick? -He had it coming!
***! He ruined my new shirt!
That scoundrel!
He stole my bling!
Oh, I'll find you!
I'll find you even if you're the late Presley!
And what were the girls doing in the meantime?
How the *** should I know?! I'm not... Milan the Psychic!
Tarot.
Here, kitty, kitty...
Aah, there you are, egghead!
Did you know that Benz is the best car to run people over with?
It has a front sight.
Ramo, don't!
Steal bling right off my neck will you?
Don't do it, Ramo, you'll break his eggs!
Dude, what a load of ***...
I swear! He grabbed the bling, and the eggs fell on the floor and cracked.
You're full of it...