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>> ♪ WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU
ABOUT THE COLLEGE ON THE EDGE OF
THE TOWN ♪
♪ NO ONE SHOULD EVER GO THERE ♪
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S BAD, BAD, BAD ♪
♪ IT GETS WORSE EVERY SCHOOL
YEAR ♪
♪ BUT, MAN, THE FREAKIN'
TEACHERS ARE RAD ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
>> ♪ I WANT TO SURF ♪
>> Steve: IS THAT
THE BEACH BOYS?
>> UM, YEAH. THEY'RE THE BEST.
"PET SOUNDS"? COME ON.
>> Steve: I DON'T CARE.
JUST TURN THAT SURFER CRAP OFF.
THE BEACH BOYS ARE GROSS.
AND SO IS THEIR MUSIC.
SO, ANYWAY, WHO WAS THE HOTTEST
WOMAN IN ALL OF HISTORY?
>> MAN, HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO
FOCUS ON THIS CLASS STUFF WHEN
ME AND STURD HERE GOT THE BIG
GAME THIS AFTERNOON?
COME ON.
>> Steve: SO, HOTTEST WOMAN
EVER -- SWEATER BEARD, GO.
>> CLEOPATRA?
>> Steve: UH, WHEN YOU SAY,
"CLEOPATRA," I THINK,
"LIZ TAYLOR."
THEN I THINK "MICHAEL JACKSON,"
AND THEN MY *** DIES.
UM, CHINESE PRECIOUS, GO.
>> UM, THE FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE.
>> Steve: WARMER. WARMER.
YOU KNOW, YOUR ENGLISH IS REALLY
FIRMING UP.
TROUBLE BUBBLE, GO.
>> WHA?
WHY AM I "TROUBLE BUBBLE"?
>> Steve: DUDE, YOU FART IN
CLASS, AND THAT'S REALLY
SELFISH.
ANYWAY, HOTTEST WOMAN EVER --
THE *** MARY.
>> UM...SHE WAS TECHNICALLY THE
LEAST *** PERSON EVER, RIGHT?
>> PEMSY, YOU -- YOUR VOICE
MAKES ME MAD INSTANTLY.
>> Steve: LET ME EXPLAIN.
MARY'S INACCESSIBILITY -- THAT'S
WHAT MAKES HER HOT.
SEE, I GOT THIS NEW RELIGIOUS
GIRLFRIEND.
[ BELL RINGS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> Frank: SO, WE LEFT OFF WITH
NIXON FEELING THE PRESSURE TO
RESIGN.
THE, UH, SUPREME COURT DEMANDED
THE TAPES, AND THE, UM -- THE
HOUSE AND THE SENATE WERE
WANTING TO IMPEACH.
>> COME ON, MAN.
AT LEAST TRY TO SPICE THIS UP.
I MEAN, EVEN THE ROBERT REDFORD
MOVIE WAS BETTER THAN THIS.
>> Frank: HEY, I -- YOU --
YOU'VE GOT MTV BRAIN, AND I --
NUANCE -- OHH.
>> Baby Cakes: BUT, DAD, I WANT
TO HELP YOU BUILD STUFF.
>> LOOK, IF THIS PROJECT WORKS,
I'LL BE CONSIDERED A GREAT
INVENTOR, LIKE TESLA OR EDISON
OR...
>> Baby Cakes: GEORGE FOREMAN?
>> RIGHT.
I'M WORKING ON THIS ALONE.
BESIDES, YOU'RE A SLACKER.
>> Baby Cakes: WRONG!
I ALREADY FOUND YOU THE PERFECT
TEST SUBJECT.
>> Frank: ...TO FORCE THE
AMERICAN...BAR ASSOCIATION TO
RETHINK THEIR MORAL CODE OF
PROFESSIONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
[ BELL RINGS ]
>> HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
>> Frank: DON'T FORGET TO COME
BACK AFTER...LUNCH.
>> UH, FRANK, I'M DEVELOPING
SOMETHING THAT'S READY FOR HUMAN
TRIALS, AND, UH, OH, BOY, YOU
ARE THE WORST COMMUNICATOR TO
YOUNG PEOPLE THAT I HAVE EVER
SEEN.
>> Frank: WHAT?
>> STAY WITH ME HERE.
I ALSO THINK YOU'RE THE ABSOLUTE
PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR...
THE HAARDVARK!
THIS WILL TAKE YOUR BORING,
OFF-PUTTING LANGUAGE AND
TRANSLATE IT INTO WORDS THAT
20-YEAR-OLDS WILL LIKE.
>> Frank: I'M SO IN.
>> Baby Cakes: YES!
WE'RE ALL ON THE PROJECT.
I'M GONNA SPREAD A SHEET AND
POINT POWERFULLY.
>> SON, IF WE DO THIS, YOU GOT
TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.
YOU GOT TO DO WHATEVER IS BEST
FOR THE PRODUCT, OKAY?
>> Baby Cakes: I SWEAR TO
[BLEEP] GOD, DAD, I WILL DO
WHATEVER THE PRODUCT WANTS.
>> Frank: SO, WHAT THE [BLEEP]
IS AN AARDVARK?
>> IT'S THE HAARDVARK, SEE,
BECAUSE KIDS ALL TALK HARD.
PLUS THE RECEPTOR EARS AND THE
TRANSLATION MATRIX LOOK, UM,
AARDVARK-LIKE.
THE NAME'S A PLACE HOLDER.
>> Frank: YEAH, BUT WHY ME?
I MEAN, MY FLOW IS AS TIGHT AS
THE PINCHER ON A PIGEON.
>> OH [CHUCKLES] FRANK.
>> UCI! UCI! UCI! UCI!
[ ALL CHEER ]
>> AND ALSO, PONY, YOU NEED TO
GO TO CHURCH.
>> Pony: MOM, LET'S JUST HAVE
THESE PRE-DRINKS AND GET TO THE
STADIUM.
>> PONY, YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK
DIABLO WATER SO MUCH.
IT'S BAD FOR YOUR BELLY.
I NEVER DRANK IT,
AND LOOK AT ME.
[BLEEP] I LOOK GOOD.
>> Pony: MOM!
I'M NOT LIKE YOU, OKAY?
I CAN'T FOLLOW GOD'S CRAZY-HARD
COMMANDMENTS OR WHATEVER.
>> YOU SEE WHAT I DEAL WITH,
BOSS SMITH?
AN ALCOHOLIC ANARCHIST.
[ SMOOCHES ]
>> Steve: YEAH, PONY'S A MESS.
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
YOU'RE INTO GOD.
I'VE GOT A GIRL IN MY LIFE.
SHE'S INTO GOD.
WE GO OUT, WE DATE, SHE'S SEXY,
BUT THERE IS NOTHING BEYOND
KISSING.
NOW, I'M GONNA MEET HER AT THE
GAME LATER.
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT MAYBE --
YOU KNOW WHAT?
UH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
>> Frank: PBBT!
>> Baby Cakes: BEHOLD OUR
PRODUCT -- THE HAARDVARK.
>> YEAH, UH, HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
I JUST NEED TO RESET THE POWER
SOURCE FIRST.
WAIT!
>> Frank: I WANT TO DISCUSS
NIXON'S RECKONING -- WAH! DAH!
>> FRANK, FRANK, JUST TURN IT
OFF!
>> Frank: AAAH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LOOK, I'LL TINKER A BIT.
>> Frank: YOU JUST MADE ME LOOK
DUMB FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
[ FIGHT SONG PLAYS ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> TWO MINUTES LEFT. TIED GAME.
GIVE ME THAT...PANDA-MONIUM.
>> BLUE 42! HAT BACK! SWEEP!
HUT! HUT! HEY!
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> AAH!
>> Steve: OOH-OOH-OOH.
>> WEIRD. WHERE'D ALL THOSE
CLOUDS COME FROM?
>> Steve: EL NIÑO, MAYBE?
LISTEN, I THOUGHT TONIGHT MAYBE
WE COULD DO SOME BOUNDARY
ASSESSMENTS.
>> STEVE, NOW, YOU KNOW I CAN'T
HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.
JUST WATCH THE GAME.
[ MEN GROWLING AND GRUNTING ]
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> Baby Cakes: WHOA! HEY! OH!
[ CHORDS STRUM ]
>> ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL! I'M GOD!
THAT'S RIGHT -- THE ONE TRUE
GOD.
[ RUMBLING ]
[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ]
HUH?
OH, MY BAD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THERE YOU GO, GUYS -- CHIPS!
HAVE SOME CHIPS!
Y'ALL, IN THE PAST, I CAME OFF
PRETTY UNCOOL, AND I TURNED A
LOT OF PEOPLE OFF.
BUT NOW [CHUCKLES] RIGHT?
SO, YOU'RE ALL THINKING, "WHY IS
GOD EVEN HERE?"
AREN'T YOU?
I CAN READ MINDS. PRETTY COOL.
ANYWAY, BROS, I THINK THAT Y'ALL
MIGHT BE READY TO TAKE IT TO THE
NEXT LEVEL, SO I'M GONNA RUN A
TEST HERE TO MAKE SURE BEFORE I
GO WORLDWIDE.
Y'ALL FEEL ME?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WELL, ALL RIGHT!
BUT I'M GONNA NEED EACH AND
EVERY ONE OF YOU ON BOARD.
NOW, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT MY OLD
COMMANDMENTS.
I KIND OF HALF-ASSED IT.
I MEAN, "THOU SHALT NOT ***"
SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THERE.
LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE DOING IT
'CAUSE IT'S NOT IN THERE.
TIME WE HAD A DO-OVER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YEA-A-A-H!
ALL MY OLD RULES AND
RESTRICTIONS ARE...GONE!
HAVE FUN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO, I'M GONNA HIT Y'ALL WITH ONE
NEW COMMANDMENT EACH DAY.
[ CHORDS STRUM ]
COMMANDMENT ONE -- CHILL.
>> Baby Cakes: [ GASPS ]
I DO THAT!
MAN, I WISH DAD WAS HERE.
>> Y'ALL DIDN'T SEE THAT [BLEEP]
COMING, NOW, DID YOU?
NOW GROOVE OUT TO SOME
BEACH BOYS.
>> ♪ AHHH ♪
>> ♪ I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING ♪
>> Steve: UGH! THAT MUSIC!
OKAY.
>> Pony: WHAT THE HELL, STEVE?
MY NACHOS!
>> Steve: NO. CAN'T CONTROL IT.
>> ♪ I GOT TO GO SURFIN' ♪
>> Steve: THAT MUSIC.
>> ♪ SURFIN', SURFIN', SURFIN',
SURFIN' ♪
♪ I'M ALWAYS GOIN' SURFIN' ♪
>> Steve: NO!
IT'S THE BEACH BOYS!
>> ♪ SURF, SURF, SURF, SURF ♪
>> Steve: [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
MOLLY. YEAH, LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THAT, BUT -- WAIT. WHAT?
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T,
BUT -- OH, HE DID DO AWAY WITH
ALL OF HIS OLD LAWS.
WELL, YEAH, COME RIGHT OVER!
>> Frank: EVEN THOUGH GOD
EXISTS, WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST
CONTINUE ON WITH WATERGATE,
RIGHT?
>> OKAY.
THINK I'VE IRONED OUT THE KINKS.
>> Frank: OW! GET THAT LIP
COOKER OUT OF HERE!
>> Baby Cakes: FRANK, YOU GOT TO
CHILL, OR WE ALL WON'T GO TO THE
NEXT LEVEL.
>> Frank: UH! WHATEVER!
THIS LECTURE WILL SEEM
PARTICULARLY DRY, SO I'M GONNA
DROP *** THAT'LL TASTE HELLA
BAD.
>> WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?
>> Frank: YET YOU MAY FIND THAT
IT RESONATES WITH YOUR OWN
EXPERIENCES.
BUT CHECK IT -- GRIP TIGHT, AND
Y'ALL BE FEELING ME.
WORD.
>> IS SOMEONE TALKING TO ME?
[ YAWNS ]
>> IT WORKS!
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Frank: Y'ALL JUST SNACK UP ON
THAT DOWN PIECE.
Y'ALL GOT TROUBS FOR BUBS.
DRAW DOWN CUTTLENUT.
>> OH, POOR NIXON.
THOSE AREN'T EVEN GROUNDS FOR
IMPEACHMENT.
>> Frank: TRUE!
EVERYTHING BE SWEET-*** CREAM UP
IN THAT FILLOUT.
LOL. WWGD?
SUBATOMIC FUGGLETOUCHING ME
KEEPING MY PICKLE IN THAT
HOSPITALIANO, YO.
WORD OUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ BELL RINGS ]
>> YO, TEACH, THANKS.
>> YOU SPOKE...RIGHT TO MY
HEART.
>> Frank: THAT'S WHAT BE
BUMPIN', YOUNG TRUMPET.
>> WELL, JUST SHOWS YOU WHAT
HARD WORK CAN DO.
>> Baby Cakes: DAD, IT WORKED
BECAUSE WE CHILLED.
GOD'S INTO IT.
>> UH, GOD?
[ LITE-JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Steve: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M
REALLY GENTLE.
>> I CANNOT WAIT TO SCREW TO
THIS.
>> ♪ AHHH ♪
>> Steve: AAH!
>> OW! STEVE, WHAT THE HELL?!
>> Steve: I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH
ME.
THE BEACH BOYS ARE JUST FREAKING
ME OUT.
>> I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THAT WE
COULD SCREW NOW.
GOD SAID TO CHILL, SO I MUST
NOW, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.
>> SO, REALLY, GOD CAME DOWN AND
HE SURFED?
>> Baby Cakes: INTO OUR HEARTS.
LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S SUCH A McCONAUGHEY.
SO BEST FOR THE PRODUCT.
>> Frank: THAT IS NON-PHONY,
TENDERONI.
>> I KNOW.
THIS GOD RULES, JUST LIKE YOU!
>> ALL RIGHTY.
ARE Y'ALL READY FOR NUMBER 2?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Baby Cakes: I HOPE IT'S NOT
"GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS."
>> DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Baby Cakes: YES!
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS?!
HE SUCKS!
>> LET'S BLAZE ANOTHER ONE!
COMMANDMENT NUMBER 3 IS
EXPERIENCE THE MAGIC.
CATCH Y'ALL ON THE FLIPSIDE!
>> THIS -- THIS IS SILLINESS.
I HAVE WORK TO DO.
FRANK, GIVE ME THE PROTOTYPE.
>> Frank: NO! THIS PIECE BE
ROLLIN' SOLO WITH ME, YO.
T'AIN'T NO TROUBS FOR THE BUBS.
>> Baby Cakes: GOD'S WILL,
RIGHT?
>> THAT GOD --
JIMMY [BLEEP] BUFFETT -- NO.
AND FRANK IS A STUPID INFLUENCE.
YOU'RE -- YOU'RE DUMBER NOW.
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> ♪ SURFIN' IS LIKE WHEN YOU GO
SURFIN' AND A WAVE COMES AND YOU
RIDE ♪
♪ AND THAT'S FUN ♪
♪ AND THAT'S FUN ♪
>> YOU MISSED GOD'S BONFIRE!
PONY, HE IS SINGLE!
>> Pony: MOM, I DON'T EVEN THINK
HE KNOWS I EXIST.
>> PONITA, HE'S GOD.
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING!
>> SO, I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND
DROP COMMANDMENT NúMERO CUATRO
ON YOU.
HERE WE GO.
NUMBER 4 IS...
ALL'S YOU GOTTA DO IS BELIEVE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: PONY, PONY, YOU GOT TO
HELP ME FIGURE...THIS..OUT.
NOW, WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS GOING
ON HERE?!
AAAAAH!
NO MORE TORCHES!
AAAAAAAAH!
TORCH THE HUTS!
AAAAAAAAAAH!
>> HE'S NOT CHILLIN'.
HE'S GONNA RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE!
>> JETTA, TURN ON
THE BEACH BOYS!
THAT'LL DRIVE HIM OUT OF HERE!
>> RIGHT!
>> Steve: AAH! UGH! UGH! AAH!
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> ♪ YOU KNOW WE'RE IN
THE BEACH BOYS ♪
♪ AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS... ♪
>> Frank: HEY, YOU SAID IT
YOURSELF -- YOUR DAD HATES GOD.
YOU GOT TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR
THE HAARDVARK HERE.
>> Baby Cakes: RIGHT. RIGHT.
>> ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?
COME ON, GUYS. I GOT WORK TO DO.
HOLD ON.
YOU WANT ME TO HAND OVER THE
RIGHTS TO THE HAARDVARK?
>> Frank: YOU'RE OUT, CAKES.
B.C.'s GONNA TAKE OVER AND LEAVE
ME WITH THE PROTOTYPE.
THAT WAY, I'LL BE THE ONLY ONE
WITH ONE.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> Frank: HEY, DON'T LEAVE
WITHOUT SIGNING.
>> AH [BLEEP] YOU, FRANK!
I DID ALL OF THIS, NOT YOU OR
GOD!
THIS INVENTION IS GONNA MAKE ME
AN IMPORTANT INVENTOR!
SON, YOU KNOW THIS IS MY DREAM.
>> Baby Cakes: GUYS, PLEASE STOP
SOPHIEing MY CHOICE!
>> Frank: NO, NO, NO!
THAT'S MINE! GIVE ME IT!
[ LAUGHS ]
>> I CAN MAKE MORE!
I'M A SCIENTIST, STUPID!
SON, IT'S HIM OR ME.
>> Baby Cakes: I'VE GOT TO GO
WITH FRANK.
HE'S WITH GOD.
HE'S BEST FOR THE PRODUCT.
>> I'M JUST SAYING YOU NEED A
HUSBAND, PONITA.
>> Pony: MOM, I'M ONLY 22.
>> THAT'S OLD!
YOU REMEMBER ME WHEN I WAS 22?
YOU WERE 14.
I HAD OTHER KIDS, A MAN, AND A
HOUSE -- AND CHICKENS.
YOU GOT TO FIX YOURSELF UP.
>> Pony: YOU THINK MY LIFE IS
THAT BAD, MOM?
>> NO, PONY, NOT IF YOU GO TO
SEÑOR GOD AND ASK HIM OUT.
OH, IT WOULD BE SO GOOD FOR THE
FAMILY!
>> Pony: IF I TRY THIS, YOU'LL
BACK OFF?
>> MM, KISSY FISH, OF COURSE.
>> Steve: ALL RIGHT, STEVE.
JUST BUILD A LITTLE SHACK, PUT A
WOMAN IN THERE -- YOU'LL BE ALL
RIGHT.
>> [ Laughing ] YEAH! OHH.
>> I MADE DREAM CATCHERS FOR YOU
GUYS.
>> YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
>> ♪ I'M ALWAYS GOIN' SURFIN' ♪
>> Steve: AAH! HEY!
THERE...AREN'T...EVEN...WAVES IN
ILLINOIS!
>> AAH! PROFESSOR SMITH, NO!
>> CHILL, DUDE.
>> Steve: I WON'T!
CHILLING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
>> THAT'S BLASPHEMY RIGHT THERE.
YOU'RE GONNA KEEP US FROM GOING
TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
>> LET'S TAKE HIM TO GOD FOR
PUNISHMENT!
>> Steve: LET ME GO!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL!
>> OHH.
I HEAR SOME THOUGHTS A-COMIN'.
>> CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL!
>> GOD, JUDGE STEVE SO WE CAN
BURN HIM!
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
THIS IS NOT COPESETIC, BROS.
>> STEVE HATES YOU, MAN.
IT'S STRANGE AND SAD, REALLY.
LOOK HOW TENSE HE IS.
>> ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, NOW.
WHAT'S GOING ON, BROHAM?
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
>> Steve: WELL, GOD IS A
BEACH BOY.
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S MY
PROBLEM.
>> BUT HAVE YOU ASKED YOURSELF
WHY I'M YOUR PROBLEM?
LET ME SHOW YOU WHY.
>> ♪ SURF ♪
♪ YOU KNOW, I LOVE TO SURF ♪
>> Steve: HEY, BEACH BOYS, I
JUST CURLED A RIPPER.
>> GREAT, LITTLE DUDE.
CHECK THIS OUT.
>> ♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT BLOOD ♪
♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT BLOOD ♪
♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT BLOOD ♪
♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT BLOOD ♪
♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT BLOOD ♪
>> Steve: [ CRYING ]
>> ♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT BLOOD ♪
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD.
HOW DID I FORGET THAT?
>> I MADE BRAINS WONKY.
I LEFT OUT KEY PARTS.
YOU CAN'T PUT THE BANANA IN A
BANANA NUT BREAD ONCE IT'S JUST
NUT BREAD.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Steve: UH, SO, JUST
THE BEACH BOYS WERE MURDERERS,
NOT ALL SURFERS.
>> YEAH, MAN. YEAH.
>> Steve: WELL...I FEEL GREAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS MOVIE IS SO MUCH BETTER
WHEN FRANK TALKS OVER IT!
IT'S GENIUS!
>> Frank: YO, BIG BAD BE
TRIP ***.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> Frank: HEAR MY DOG,
BLUE PIPE?
YEAH, MY CONNECT BE ALL DARK
DIP.
HE BE DEEP DOWN IN THAT THROAT
LIKE A SUNK BOAT.
BUT, YO, IT ALL YO-YO. SO, YO.
>> AND THAT'S WHY I MADE SALT
WATER.
>> Pony: OH, HI. EXCUSE ME, GOD.
SO, MY MOM HAD THIS STUPID IDEA
THAT I SHOULD ASK YOU OUT
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] AND I SHOULD
JUST -- COULD YOU JUST TELL HER
SHE'S CRAZY?
>> NAH. SHE AIN'T CRAZY.
>> Pony: DID YOU JUST MAKE ME
PREGNANT?!
DUDE!
>> THAT'S HOW GOD DOES DATING,
CHICKADEE.
>> Pony: MOM!
>> ♪ AHHH ♪
>> ♪ WELL, THE SUN IS COMIN' UP,
AND NOW IT'S TIME TO SURF ♪
>> SO, LET'S RECAP.
YESTERDAY I LAID DOWN NUMBER 5
ON Y'ALL, WHICH WAS...
>> I'M LOVIN IT!
>> THAT'S RIGHT!
NOW, THIS NEXT ONE GOES OUT TO
MY BOY STEVE SMITH!
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
COMMANDMENT NUMBER 6 IS...
TRUST ME, DUDE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Baby Cakes: FEEL OUT OF TOUCH
AROUND YOUNG PEOPLE?
ARE YOU ALWAYS PUTTING YOUR FEET
IN YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK TO
KIDS?
WELL, STOP FEELING LIKE THE
TALKING DEAD AND START TALKING
LIKE THE NEWLY ALIVE WITH THE
HAARDVARK.
THE HAARDVARK --
EXPERIENCE THE MAGIC.
>> Steve: IT SURE IS CRAZY, BUT
I'M LOVIN' IT.
>> Baby Cakes: YES, GOD TOLD ME
TO "I'M LOVIN' IT," SO I PUT
THIS COMMERCIAL ON TV.
>> Pony: [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> Steve: PONY!
YOU'RE -- YOU'RE SO PREGNANT!
>> Pony: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS
[BLEEP]
>> IT'S ALLS YOU GOT TO DO,
GIRL.
>> Steve: YOU'RE SO RIGHT,
CHICKADEE!
>> Pony: WHAT THE [BLEEP]
HAPPENED TO YOU, DUDE?
YOU'RE, LIKE, BRAINWASHED.
>> Steve: HEY, GOD HELPED ME
THROUGH SOME STUFF, ALL RIGHT?
I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS HAPPY SINCE
I WAS A KID.
>> Pony: WELL, I'M PREGNANT WITH
GOD'S KID, AND IT SUCKS!
I LET MY MOM TALK ME INTO IT.
>> Steve: PONY, YOU'RE THE MOM
NOW.
YOUR MOM IS GONNA WANT TO BE
YOU.
>> Pony: SON OF A ***.
>> Steve: LET'S PUT SOME
BEACH BOYS ON.
>> THIS NEW LIFESTYLE IS GREAT
AND ALL, BUT I THINK I'M A
LITTLE TIRED OF THE BEACH BOYS.
>> Steve: AND I THINK YOU SHOULD
MOVE IN WITH ME, BRO.
COME ON. PEMSY.
PEMSY!
>> I'M LOVIN' IT.
>> ♪ GOD KNOWS ♪
>> ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW GOD KNOWS? ♪
>> ♪ GOD KNOWS ♪
>> ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW GOD KNOWS,
KNOWS, KNOWS? ♪
>> ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW GOD KNOWS? ♪
>> ♪ GOD KNOWS IT ♪
>> ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW GOD KNOWS,
KNOWS, KNOWS? ♪
>> ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW GOD KNOWS? ♪
♪ GOD KNOWS ♪♪
>> ♪ AHHHH ♪
>> Baby Cakes: UH!
THE COMMERCIAL WORKED!
I GOT 1,000 ORDERS!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
>> WHAT?1
YOU PUT OUT AN AD FOR A PRODUCT
THAT I DIDN'T HAVE LICENSED YET!
>> Frank: MAN, CHICKABIT, THEM
STACKDOWNS ON YOUR GROUND HANDS
LIFT UP THAT HIGH LIFE.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> Frank: TEASE OUT THAT STEAK
NIB.
GOT TO DRIP.
>> Baby Cakes: SO, YOU GOT TO
FIX IT!
>> [ SIGHS ]
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK -- IF THIS IS
GONNA WORK, YOU -- YOU HAVE TO
LET ME WORK.
>> Baby Cakes: DEAL, BUT I STILL
GET TO DO WHATEVER GOD COMMANDS,
'CAUSE HE'S THE COOLEST MOTHER
[BLEEP] I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON.
>> Frank: IF THEY MAKE MORE
HAARDVARKS, I'LL NO LONGER BE
SPECIAL!
>> Steve: YO, BRO-GOD!
COME ON!
LET'S GO GRUB DOWN, HOMEY!
HOME SKILLET, WHERE YOU BE
LIVIN'?
THAT'S THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT?
OH, NO! I WAS RIGHT!
BUT IF I STOP HIM...I'LL LOSE IT
ALL.
>> PONITA, YOU SHOULD GET THIS
NICE SCARF.
IT'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE
*** MARY.
OH, A THOUSAND PARDONS.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, NOT ME.
YOU'RE THE MOM NOW.
>> IT'S GOD'S *** -- THE ***
OF GOD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OKAY, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP!
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS...
KILL YOUR PARENTS.
[ TWINKLE! ]
[ TWINKLE! ]
[ PEOPLE GASP ]
>> [ SMOOCHES ] PONY.
>> Pony: MOM!
>> AY, DIOS MíO!
>> Pony: NO!
>> AAH! AYEEEEEEEEEE!
>> Pony: AAAAAAAAAAAH!
[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ]
>> Baby Cakes: UH!
>> Frank: BABY CAKES, DO IT!
GOD SAID TO!
>> OH, SON.
>> Baby Cakes: OH, NO!
HOW MANY CHOICES DID SOPHIE HAVE
TO MAKE?!
[ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]
>> Frank: AY!
>> OHH! HELP! HELP ME!
>> Baby Cakes: UH!
[ CHORDS STRUMMING ]
>> [BLEEP]
COULDN'T HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS
COMING.
GOT ME WITH THAT MAGNETO HELMET.
>> Steve: I WAS RIGHT.
YOU ARE EVIL.
YOU ARE A BEACH BOY.
[ PEOPLE GASP ]
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Steve: GOD...IS...DEAD!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> WHAT'S UP?!
>> Steve: THIS CAN'T BE!
I-I KILLED YOU.
>> Y'ALL [BLEEP] UP.
Y'ALL FAILED MY TEST.
CHECK THIS OUT.
[ TWINKLE! ]
[ TWINKLE! ]
[ TWINKLE! ]
SEE?
WOULD HAVE HIT YOU WITH THOSE.
NOW IT'S ALL OVER.
>> Pony: [ GASPS ]
[ WOMEN GASPING ]
WHAT?!
>> YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PICK
MEN, PONY.
UGH! SUCH A SCREW-UP.
>> STEVE IS THE NEW EVE!
MAKE HIM FEEL [BLEEP] FOR IT!
NOW GIVE ME THAT!
>> Frank: AAH!
>> SCHNOOPIES DONE PLUGGED THAT
***!
LOL!