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>> And now, sexologist pepper
Schwartz interviews pepper
Schwartz.
>> Welcome, pepper, you look
fabulous today.
Thank you very much.
And I know you're a discerning
person, so I take that as a
great compliment.
Thank you.
Interesting line of work you've
chosen.
Some people might refer to you
as a sexologist.
So how exactly does one become a
sexologist.
>> I think some people become a
sexologist because they have a
professor that influences them.
I think I was born to it.
Ha ha.
This is your new book, "the
normal bar."
Will you tell me a little bit
about it?
Oh, I am so glad, pepper, that
you asked me about my book.
It is my newest book.
And it's about all these
extremely happy couples.
And the normal way that really
happy couples conduct their
relationship.
And one of the things in the
book that we found that's really
important is all kinds of
affectionate behavior really
matters.
The happiest couples kiss a lot,
they have P-D-A, public displays
of affection, which most
Americans do not by the way.
Oh, bad taste.
No, it's good taste, people
should do it.
Spontaneous kissing, without it
being an important event or
making love.
Little pet names.
Holding hands.
Everything like that is
critically important for a
relationship.
So maybe Valentine's day should
be the time where you're like,
we're going to do this all the
time, this is like a new
beginning for us.
So if it was up to you, would we
have Valentine's day every day?
Well, if we had Valentine's day
every day of the year, we'd have
to invent some other day that
was even more special.
I mean I think, you want
something special, but I also
think, yes, romance is really
important.
And if you slack off on it, you
will suffer.
>> So what's the biggest myth
about love and sex?
Oh, pepper, I hate when you ask
me those questions.
The biggest myth about love is
that if you're really in love,
you will never fall out of love.
But I think relationships
undulate, and sometimes you kind
of have to wait when you go
through a dip to get to the next
period of, you know, when it's
really intense again.
Everyday life issues, they can
really hurt a relationship.
And people I think sometimes
think it's gone and it will
never come back to where it was.
But it can.
And what about sex?
I think the biggest myth about
sex is that it's optional.
Look at the data.
Sexuality and health, this is
not optional for us.
Our bodies were meant to do
this.
We don't do this just when we're
reproductively capable.
It's important for bonding,
which is important for our
mental and emotional health.
It's also important for our
physical health.
So the myth that this is
something that can become
totally subordinate, maybe even
going away part of your life, is
just that.
So I'm here to combat that myth,
that's for sure.
And the new book, the normal
bar, out right now?
Pepper, you are a shameless
promoter, ha, ha, thank you.
Yes, the normal bar is out now,
just out.
It was published February 5th
legally.
And I think that I'm proud of
that.
I hope it will take a look and
hope it will help the
relationship.
Pepper Schwartz, you doll, thank
you so much for joining me
today.
I am so glad you asked me.
I've had a very good time.