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17, 18, 19, 20, 21...
474, 475, 476, 477... - Boss!
Boss! I came as fast as I could...
I was thinking about some sort of machine...
...that would enable us to reach the top of the pyramids.
Otis... can't this wait?
What are you counting, boss? - I'm measuring.
Cleopatra wants a palace for Caesar.
Here. On this stroke of land.
From there... to from there.
That would be a big palace.
It has to be modern and daring.
What a coincidence! But stop counting...
...Leave it to professional measurers.
No time, we've got 3 months.
Fine. And how much delay allowed?
None. We've got 3 months, sharp.
It's Impossible. - However, working in a rush...
...is good for personal development.
It's not a rush! It's suicide!
If I fail, I'll be fed to the crocodiles.
I saw them... Their fastness is fast!
Not good. I can't finish my machine in 3 months.
Otis! Didn't you hear what I said or did you hear what I said?
Yes, no, but... - Wanna be in my shoes? Crocodiles!
OK THEN! Three months starting when?
The clock is ticking. - The gardens will take years!
And there's nothing. Completely nothing.
We need magic.
We need to be mages. Gods.
Exactly... We need magical powers.
Yes, can't see how it's good news, but that's it.
When I was a kid...
...Dad often told me about this druid. *stutters* Geta-Getabemix.
Panasonix...
Something ending in ix?
Jimmihendrix?
It starts with Geta... and ends in *stutters* ininekix.
How about MoreDetailsInTheAppendix?
A druid.
A Gallic druid with a magic potion.
It gives people enormous strength. A very strong strength!
Using that potion, I'll finish in no time, and avoid the crocodiles.
Imhotep. Easy job! I'm very relieved.
Boss...
...magic potions don't exist.
Only in childrens' papyrus strips.
Get us some workers. Let them start the foundations.
Here, a lane with big statues. Called "The lane with big statues".
And there gardens with strawberries, haleberries... weeping willows, weeping widows...
Yes, and there the palace, luxurious and munificent.
With a huge court yard and lots of dancers.
And just there: a small geranium, yes, that will be nice.
...I'd even say, very nice.
You have to picture it! - Of course.
I'm leaving. See you in a month. - A month?
At most. Time for me to find Getafilmix and come back.
Giddap, Cannabis.
Giddap, Cannabis!
Go!
You're not moving at all, Cannabis.
Move it! Giddap, Cannabis!
Where does that Remix live?
Up north. He lives up north.
Giddap! Giddap'ah!
The year is 50 B.C.
Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely...
One small village of invincible Gauls still holds out against the invaders.
And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries who garrison the fortified camps of
Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium...
En garde, Gaul. Defend yourself!
One moment please.
What was that? - Are you new here?
Yes, we've just been transferred.
I understand. This potion is a magic potion...
...made by our druid and it makes us stronger.
See for yourself.
Getamanix! Getamenixme!
What kind of country is this?
Incredible, it's minus 8000 degrees here.
I don't have to drink it, I fell in the cauldron when I was a little boy.
It gives me permanent extraordinary power.
See for yourself.
Nice, huh?
Good day. Where's the Gallic village.
Just follow the punches you'll get there
I'm not going, no offense? I'll stay here.
And meditate.
Those Romans are good, they fly better than the others.
It's because of their new helmets. They're more aerodynamic.
Listen...
Landing could be better.
Excuse me? *stutters* Are you Asterisk'm?
Rix. Asterix. And this is Obelix.
And the dog is Dogmatix.
Do you know Getabamenix? He's a droid.
Getafix, excuse me for disturbing, you have a visitor.
Sir? - It's me!
He obviously doesn't know you.
I'm Edifis. the son of your friend Morissetalanis.
What a pleasant surprise.
You must be frozen.
I am, my dearest friend, Enchanted to see you.
Alexandrine. Come warm yourself.
That's the magic potion? - No, chestnut soup.
No.
No. I can't sell you any potion.
Not *all* of it. Only one cauldron.
No.
He won't budge, it's the principle.
A small cauldron.
No.
A flask. - No.
A flaskette? - Nee.
A cupette. It's a small cup. A cupette, and we're done.
It's a secret among druids and not for sale.
A cupette is not much.
I'm sorry, Edifis.
Ok then.
You were my only hope.
The small chance of survival.
But I understand.
You have other things to worry about.
Caesar, the Romans. Who I'm not fond of.
Maybe I'm going to die...
But it was nice knowing you.
Gentlemen...
Dogmatix...
What's the matter?
Edifis, wait! I've been planning to consult some manuscripts...
...in Alexandria's library. I can't promise anything...
...but I'll join you.
Thanks. Thanks a lot, Getamanix.
My ship is waiting, there's enough room for everyone.
There's no time to loose. - Let's go, Dogmatix.
You're not going to take him are you? - Why not?
He's too small for such a big trip. And Egypt is the land of cats.
Pack your bags and quit talking about it.
"Don't talk about it..."
Accompanied by the arctic wind, on board of the Hydrodynamis...
...a long journey to Egypt begins, the land of Ra, the Sun God.
Cleopatra's kingdom would soon welcome...
...Asterix, Obelix and Getafix
And Dogmatix?
What?
I barked. I'm not allowed to talk anymore, so I bark.
Fine. Take him out, before he suffocates.
But it's empty. - "It's empty".
Oh! Such a smart dog. My baby.
How nice. He wanted to be with me.
He got in there himself. - We were just saying...
...three months is a little short.
Artifis is a real hyena.
Do you know hyenas? Just the same.
He wants me dead and he has many Talents.
He's skilled? - No, he's rich.
He's got many golden Talents. The Egyptian currency.
In Gaul, the ones with most talents are not always the richest.
Do we have to fear anything else? - No, nothing.
Red Beard! Red Beard!
Mateys, last time we weren't very lucky meeting those Gauls...
...with their magic potion, and that hound!
Outnumbered by them two, we had no other option...
...than to run away.
No, not really.
We had to abandon ship a bit hastily.
Swimming in that ice-cold water. - No, it was warm.
It was ice cold. - FINE.
To prevent further trouble, we'll avoid the Gauls.
But for the others, no mercy!
Ship at starboard!
Ready to board, daddy. Trim the tranbuckles!
Calm down, my girl.
"Trim the tranbuckles" doesn't make any sense.
Ha! I knew it!
How many ships, me matey?
Just one, Captain, a small one.
Egyptian, Captain.
Egyptian. - Egyptian. Sounds good.
This will get us back on track. - "Ipso facto et manu militari".
Triplepod.
Bosco, Gambler, Mullet, weigh the jibboom pole!
Rackham, Worley, Husk, Blanket the blockboot stripes!
READY TO BOARD, HARRRRR!
I'm the King of the world!
Pirates!
Help, pirates!
Look, pirates. Quick, we have to have to get out of here.
The pirates.
It's us!
The G... The Ga... The Gau...
The Gauls!
This can't be happening.
Is there an axe here? Watch out. Pardon me.
Calm down there. - What are they doing?
Cheater! - It's not polite.
You'd better sink it yourselves!
They know who they're dealing with.
They're old friends. We often go to the seaside together.
You see, abyss calls abyss. "Abyssus abyssum invocat."
Yeah, thanks for the Latin, I've had my share.
With those pirates, do Egyptian merchants travel by sea?
All Bazaar men by the Nile.
They got the money on a bet.
I don't know why I just said that.
I'm hungry. - We'll be there in the morning.
That's the tower of Pharos, a beacon for ships.
A beacon for ships. Those Egyptians are crazy.
It's one of the 7 Wonders! Egyptians can walk proudly.
all the Copts in the donut shop say:
'To walk like an Egyptian'
You wanted to see me, Edifis.
My Queen, the palace is getting along nicely but there is not enough time.
That's why I asked some Gallic friends, a druid and 2 warriors...
...But I need approwalts.
Please grant me all approwalts.
What I'm trying to say is: Please approbe all waltz.
Serious waltz, not bellydance.
With all due respect.
You can ask anyone for help.
Finish the palace in time. That's all I ask.
Caesar mocks me every day. I can't afford to lose this bet.
- She's Pretty... - Everything in him is provocative!
Evrything!
Everything!
We're settled.
...make sure you finish in time and everyone shall receive gold.
I would like that.
Or else... the crocodiles. - I wouldn't like that.
Now go.
He's cute with that moustache.
A little old.
No, the other one. - No, too fat.
You do it on purpose?
She's impossible, but a lovely nose.
She'll feed me to the crocodiles. - Very lovely.
- Slightly snub.
and with a little braid on the side.
I'm going to be crocodile food and he's dreaming about her nose.
Do crocodiles taste nice?
Could you show a little empathy?
Oh! A big ant.
What a crowd!
Looks like the Trek Convention every year in Lus Vegus.
They show all new sandals to a bunch of pilgrims with no lives.
A great show.
Which kind of sandals do you have?
It's going well, overall.
Yes, still a lot of work to be done.
And only 2 months left.
Talking about magic potion, when I visited you in Gauland, you said...
..."Don't worry I'll give you loads of it" So I'd like to know...
No, I said "I'll see what I can do". - Meaning?
Where did all that sand come from? - That was already here.
All those stones come from the Readymis quarries.
Hitting those slaves is very violent.
They're not slaves. They're construction workers...
...they do this voluntarily and they get paid.
And whiplashes are for decoration? - No...Yes...
I don't know. Nobody complained so far.
Haityou!
"Haityou"? - Probably means "Harder!"
The signal that the soup has arrived.
No. The whippers are relieved.
Tradition calls for them to exchange hair.
It's a symbol for legacy. It guarantees hairs inheritance.
It's a different culture.
Do you remember that menhir I threw at Caius Bonus?
I bet it weighed just as much as that bunch of stones.
You should ask him. He's best positioned to answer.
It's a different culture.
Another bill. I hate papywork.
Otis, my scribe. He scribes everything down.
Imothep to you!
Is scribe a good job?
I don't think there are any good or bad positions.
If I have to summarize my life, ...Blah blah blah...
...blah...met people...blah...
...blah...your faith...
...'cause if you love your work... ...blah blah....
...blah... Someone to speak to....
...BLAH blah BLAH...
...Blah... For me it's different... ...blah blah...
...blah blah... ...I sing to life...
...people ask me: "Why are you so humane?"...
...and I tell them... ...Blah blah blah....
...a pyramid today, but tomorrow... blah blah blah
...Blah blah... ...service the community...
...Blah blah... ...Give myself.
What's for lunch today? - As always: lentils.
I'll be back.
Coming soon: Caesars Palace.
Ending in: 58 days.
What are you looking for?
My lentils fell off.
Workers!
Proletarians!
Comrades.
Have we gone back to the days of the Pharaohs?
Slaving away and getting whipped?
And for whom?
For Caesar...
Let him build his palace in Rome.
Good fences make good neighbour Empires!
That's true...
Friends, you are being exploited.
You're being exhausted and...
...to be honest...
There.
He's right.
And there two huge statues.
But not too huge. 15 meters high is enough.
Here, a big kitchen, and baths.
Kitchen and baths so close? that's maybe not ideal.
- Fish and visitors smell in 3 days. - Frankly.
OK, if you say so.
Why are those grapes so big?
They're dates, Obelix. They grow on those trees.
Crunchy on the inside. - That's the stone.
Not bad.
Lunch break is over. Come on! Move it!
I hardly said anything.
Not happy! Not happy!
Please? - Yes...
Not happy! Not happy!
We refuse to work any longer under these conditions.
It's unbearable. - Not happy!
Calm down, calm down.
We're not satisfied!
Who's in charge?
Ok fine.
I'll speak for all of us.
I'm Blakberis. - I'm listening.
You have two new messages. Firstly:
We work 18 hours a day. 36 hours in 2 days.
Lower it to 35 hours.
That'll never work. Because of the charges.
Secondly, (sorry for interrupting you)...
...we want a cut of at least 50%.
A raise you mean. - No.
A cut in the whiplashes.
Too many whiplashes.
We get headaches from the noise.
Our heads are ready to burst. - Yes...
...about the food... Some wild boar alongside the lentils...
The less whiplashes, the slower you work...
...Then no palace, and then THE CROCODILES EAT ME!
Edifis, enough!
Blakberis is not a ***...
...meant for a sacrifice.
I'm sure they would be happy with some wild boar.
It's ready.
Not you! You fell in a cauldron of potion as a baby.
Come on, Dogmatix.
Give them a demonstration, Asterix.
Be careful, I've made it strong.
Strong, indeed. - No, it's very good.
Dogmatix, do a trick.
Do a trick.
Sit!
It's a miracle...
Is there enough for everyone?
I'll make some more.
No, Obelix, you... - Fell in it as a baby...
Yes, alright.
No! Obelix, no.
Arosis. That's his name.
Moses?
No, Arosis. Like Arosis Arosis Arosis.
Prayingmantis.
Are you OK?
An Imhotep. - Two.
I have a job for you.
No problem. Who do you want me to kill?
No one.
There, two Imhoteps.
The construction must stop.
They're waiting for stones.
Make sure they don't arrive.
No stones, no construction.
No construction, no palace.
No palace...
...no palace.
Here's to cover the expenses.
Give me back the change.
Nice robe.
I've came, I've saw, I've conquered. Veni, vidi, vici.
...You add the usual. And you sign:
"Ceeesar".
"Ceeesar" or "Caesar"?
Caesar. It sounded cool, but...
Engrave 4 copies.
Ave Caesar. Power and prosperity...
Power and prosperity, Ceeplusplus. Good news?
Came, Saw, Conquered? Usual stuff?
Veni, vidi, ok. Vici is premature.
What do you mean?
Gaul for example...
What about Gaul?
Gaul is vici. It's completely occupied.
It isn't. "One small village is holding out...
...against the invaders" - I know.
I've heard it before.
And Cleopatra, how's the construction not going?
It's actually going fine.
It's beautiful. They even... on the inside...
No. - Excuse me.
Don't touch me... - They'll finish in time.
Impossible. - Impossible's not in their dictionary.
Edifis has 3 Gauls with him. There's this druid Teehaychix.
Getafix?
Yes, something huge.
Also a little clever one and a big brute: Highkix and Brucewillix.
Or Malcolmix.
Watch them. I'll decide later what to do.
"Si vis pacem, para bellum." If you want peace, prepare for war.
The little Gaul has a hero's name: Joemannix.
In the mean time, the ruthless Prayingmantis...
...sent by Artifis, was completing his mission.
Cut off the supply of stones...
...by bribing the foul convoy supervisor.
The building can be shaped as a "C", for Cleopatra.
It's Caesar's palace.
It also works. - What do you mean?
The stones have arrived.
The supervisor says there are no more stones in the quarries.
Funny language. - He wants to be paid.
He's lying. - No, he really wants to be paid.
No, about the quarries. There are more stones.
May I make him talk?
Ok. But don't overdo it, he must be able to talk.
How do you say "talk"?
It depends... For "He's not talkative"...
...it's "medou ene ere comete".
If it's "talk slower", then it's "medou ere keteb".
- No, "ketebece".
- That rule applies only if they're 8!
"Ketebece". - No, not "ketebece".
No, sorry. - No one understands you.
"Keteb" for "open", for "generous".
Say...
"Ouchebe".
"Ouchebe".
No? Not "ouchebe"?
No, Obelix, not so hard.
He says Artifis paid him to throw away the stones.
He says: "There are stones in the quarry." "A lot."
"Ouch." "Ouch." - Yes, I understood that part.
"Ouch, that hurts." "I'm in pain."
"Not the moustache." "Not the moustache."
He's finished.
We'll go with him.
I'll stay here to keep an eye on things. Otis will accompany you to...
Yes, to...
Here. Patches to put on your clothes.
These patches will protect you from bad spirits.
Thanks.
Hamsteri... 'msk. - Rix.
Risk. - Rix...
Risk.
The faith of Egypt is in your hands.
Don't you exaggerate?
My faith is in your hands. - Better.
Go, Hamsterisk! - Rix.
Risk.
So our Gallic friends and Otis are on their way...
...to the quarries to get the stones.
What's wrong with your dromedary?
It's my stomach.
While I pack up the boat, you can visit the Sphinx.
There are so many picturesque restaurants.
Fireworks for the mouth! Stews, meats, fishes...
...blah blah blah...
I knew it, nothing to eat.
Nice, those little sphinxes.
I could make mini souvenir menhirs.
Sphinx? - No thanks!
Sphinx, stranger? - No, thanks.
Souvenir portrait with the sphinx?
Instant sculpture, 30 minutes!
Why not? It would look nice in my hut.
Do you accept sestertius? - Sure. Stand in profile please...
...shoulders up front.
Not too much!
We have to be more alert. Artifis is a snake.
He might as well attack the construction site.
We must organise a guard.
What do you think, Obelix?
Now where did he go? Obe?
Obe. Obelix!
Don't sculpt me too short, please. - No no.
So you're from Gaul? - Yeah.
Nice weather lately. - Ah.
Obe...
Obelix... - Yoohoo! Asterix!
Obelix, that's surely forbidden.
Come down at once.
How nice...
Come down. Don't be childish.
You look so small down there.
Get yer jinx off the sphinx's brink!
I'm going to take a walk on his head.
Wise guy.
Broken nose.
Great. Congrats.
Bravo, Obelix.
Better and better.
We could glue it back.
Really? That's a great idea.
With what? That nose is huge!
Yes, 'tis a rock. 'tis a peak. 'Tis a cape.
Forsooth, 'tis a peninsular!
Stop boasting and and find a solution.
You're so clumsy, Obelix.
Luckily no one saw us.
..."Beware of Greeks bearing gifts", he says, like.
Imhotep. - 'Tep.
Help me, I only have two arms.
Was that lightning?
I told you I saw lightning. I'm not crazy.
Done.
No one will ever dig around here.
Fine, let's get out of here.
Come on, Dogmatix.
Not a word about this to Getafix.
Nothing happened. - No.
Nothing.
Hey, my pyramids...
The construction is going well...
...so we demand...
.. a day off.
We won't step back, get this!?
My name's Edifis.
That's what I... *crackles*
Blakberis, talk loud and clear!
Try to move.
Now? - No. How about now?
And now? - Try it.
Do you understand me now? Because...
...I've been having that problem a lot lately.
Are you alright, Obe? - I'm starvin carvin.
How could they erect such buildings?
Stone upon stone. - Indeed.
Gauls...
Feel like visiting the pyramid?
For free.
Not sure if we can learn anything.
They say it's extraordinary. We're not in a hurry.
Stay here, Dogmatix. Guard Getafix.
If you're good, I'll give you a bone.
Follow me carefully. This maze is a deadly trap.
Watch it, the corridors are narrow.
You can't be too fat. - No one is fat here.
On your right, Anubis.
Touching. - The god of the dead.
Through here.
Come, honorable guests, go in here.
These hieroglyphs are beautiful.
After you. Enter.
Indeed.
No! No!
You'll never escape, strangers!
This tomb will be YOUR tomb! Bwahahaha!
No way out. We are stuck.
"This tomb will be your tomb!" Nice one.
I knew it. A free visit.
At least we have something to read.
Hieroglyphs all look alike.
Look, Obelix, the colours are beautiful.
That's all really nice, but...
...if we don't find a way out soon...
...we'll have all eternity to figure them out.
Mission accomplished.
If they get out of here...
...I swear I'll never shave my head again. Never.
First, we must open that door.
But it's too strong...
Here, Obelix...
...for the first time you may have some magic potion.
Really? - That's what he said didn't he?
One, two, three drops.
That's enough.
Well...
That didn't seem to do anything.
- Obe? - No, it's Geta.
Yes, I'm here.
Here.
We're running in circles.
The pharaohs had splendid architects.
We're in a serious situation here. - Very serious.
I'm starting to get hungry.
What do those hieroglyphs mean?
There's no time to find out, we have to get out of here.
We must set our priorities straight.
Mister Asterix should know that I'm hungry.
I keep myself busy to forget I'm hungry.
I forgot mister Obelix's stomach was more important.
Wild boars and fights, that's all Mister Obelix needs.
Mister Asterix knows everything better.
Maybe I do! - Mister Asterix wanted to see the pyramid!
That wouldn't have happened inside a menhir.
If I had 2 sestertius every time I heard that!
What's keeping them?
Already half past sand. We have to leave.
I was upset. Mea culpa.
No, my mea culpa.
It also could have happened in a menhir.
My magic can't get us out of this place.
Friends, I fear this is the end of us.
Could someone light a torch?
All I have is Edifis' patchbox. Useless.
I'm sorry for Edifis.
I'm sorry for Dogmatix.
Or not, Dogmatix? - Dogmatix!?!
Yes, so? Don't blame me for bringing him!
His sense of smell lead him to us.
So he can get us out of here.
That's true! Dogmatix, listen very carefully.
If you get us out of here, I'll give you a big pile of bones.
Yes! That's a good Dogmatix!
Excuse me, we're fortunate you brought him.
Sometimes I think he understands everything I say.
And they returned to the construction site...
...aboard ships loaded with stones.
It's slow. - Very slow.
Too slow.
We won't be back home in time for the wild boars banquet...
...I've had enough lentils...
The Nile is an unpredictable river...
...sometimes impetuous, sometimes quiet.
I wonder if you know this nice Egyptian poem.
It goes like this: "Nile, Nile, Nile..."
What's he doing?
Mateys!
We're seaworthy again.
Hip hip hip... - Hurrah.
Hip hip hip... - Hurrah.
Watch out!
By Toutatis, I know he fell...
...in a cauldron of magic potion...
...but he'll never cease to amaze me.
Hip hip hip... hurrah... - Stop it.
And construction was ready to start again.
Edifis knew he would be finished in time...
...which, in the field of construction, was rare in those days.
One sip per person. Just one sip per person.
Fake potion is being spread.
Same texture, same colour, but it's pumpkin soup.
The only real potion, is the one you get from the druid...
...around the cauldron.
Thirty minutes from here.
...then I closed the door and yelled:
"This tomb will be YOUR tomb."
Not bad.
I was also thinking: "You pitiful mice! You fell in my trap like mice!"
But that's "mice" twice.
What? They say "mouses"?
Locked up in the pyramid?
I don't understand.
They're magicians. You need supernatural powers to get out of there.
They're tough, those barbarians.
I need an idea.
Got one. I have a horrible idea. Two. Even three.
I've got a whole bunch of ideas. I'm so good.
I don't like that laugh, boss. It frightens me.
Get to work!
That's not even close to the luxurious garden we need.
Getamanix, you don't have any potion to speed things up?
Like seeds for example...
...that grow into palm trees within no time?
No, potions aren't the solution to everything.
Some things can't be changed.
Nature needs time to turn the seed...
...with sun and water, into a bud...
...and then...
...that bud... - Pleeez.
Please.
It can't go any faster.
Yes, fantastic!
Can someone help me down?
They started again?
I'm not happy either.
I also want Edifis to fail, for personal reasons.
I was thinking I could be of some assistance maybe.
After we've struck a fair deal...
Not here. In my tent.
I'm listening.
Honourable Caesar, if I see to it the construction of the palace fails..
...you'll appoint me and I'll finish the job 2 months late.
That way you win the bet and Cleopatra is humiliated.
Alright, if you finish it after 4 months.
Three, I can't work any slower.
Fine, but not any sooner, or you'll have to pay a compensation.
That's a deal, honourable Caesar.
How were you planning to sabotage the construction.
With this.
What shall I wear tonight?
Careful, it's very, very tepid.
A gift for the queen of queens.
"As a token of honour to the queen of queens. From the 3 Gauls:
Getafix, Obelix and Asterix." How sweet.
May I open it?
Oh, that's tepid.
A cake.
Tonight's desert.
Intimate meal: 40 dancers...
...80 musicians and 300 simple dishes.
I don't like crowds either.
Dinnertime!
Some wild boar just arrived... - Finally some normal food.
Yes. With lentils!
It's forbidden! D'you know that... ...boar is full of pork?
We'll pretend we don't. - Nobody moves.
We're here to arrest the Gauls.
Come on, for three wild boars.
I'll beat them up and then we'll eat.
No, wait. Wait! You're going to fight the whole garrison?
Why not? That's illegal too? You can't do anything around here.
Edifis is right. We're going to see Cleopatra.
Yes, nice opportunity to see the palace.
I'll stay here to sustain the fire. It tends to unsustain.
That's why I want to stay.
My food is tasted beforehand.
Your plot failed, Gauls.
My taster was poisoned by your cake.
We didn't send any cake. What cake?
That cake. I don't see any other cake!
We confess the wild boars, but not the cake.
Silence! You tried to kill me.
You will die. - By Toutatis! We are innocent.
You have some nerve. - Ridiculous. We work...
...all day, breath dust...
Eat lentils... - Yes, no...
Yes we do, lentils. - Yes, but...
We didn't send you any poisonous cake.
A cake like that we would have eaten ourselves.
Silence!
This is ridiculous. - If she doesn't want to hear it...
...you don't say anything. For now.
Take them away.
And give the crocodiles an appetizer.
I'm hungry.
I'm hungry. Hungry!
When I said hello, she turned her head.
We used to giggle, Exchanged little looks... and now...
...all of a sudden...
...she won't look at me anymore. I'm a stranger to her.
Cleopatra and you exchanged looks?
He's not talking about Cleopatra, but one of the maids.
The one with the nice braid.
Wouldn't surprise me if he were in love.
I'm not in love.
I want to tell her I had nothing to do with it.
For the sake of justice.
Juridical, yes.
Of course.
Stop. - Look at me, I love you.
It's great to look so stupid...
Subtle...
Sometimes you can be really nice, and sometimes you look like...
...a fat idiot... - Who's a fat idiot?
No idea. - Drink. A sip of antidote.
Obelix, not everything. A sip.
Yes, a sip.
Now... Obelix, open the door.
I didn't drink it all. Get out of my way.
Yes, and when you come back you'll bring me a can of...
Egyptians are crazy. We ask them to get out of the way but they don't move.
So? - I'm done.
I'm sick of side portraits.
Can't you sketch my front for a change? Like this...
well, me and modern art...
Please?
Can we?
I'd better leave.
Gauls, since you want to see my demise...
...I'll, by Osiris, show you how a queen dies.
How dramatic, by Toutatis! Listen to us first.
Your maids are not here? - Why?
No reason. I'm sure the cake wasn't poisoned.
I think it's very tasty even.
Obelix, cut 3 pieces of cake.
We said three pieces.
One...
Go on. - Two.
And three.
Obviously.
So, as you can see it's not poisoned.
Tell your maids. Especially the one with the braid.
Her name is Gimmiakis. - Gimmiakis.
I had a dream last night.
I'd won a million sestertius.
I bought shoes. Too big, and ugly too.
Unbelievable. And weird, because...
That Egyptian architect who wants to help...
Mauris? - Artifis.
Yes. - Incompetent. He hasn't achieved anything.
Send one of ours, to spy and snoop around.
Thinking of someone in particular, o Caesar?
Someone sneaky...
Nofus! - Yes.
Caesar, meet Nofus.
Our best spy.
Ave Caesar. Power and prosperity.
Nofus is a professional. The queen of camouflage.
If I look that way, you can see me.
When I look this way, you don't.
You can. You can't. You can.
Can't. Can't. Can. - Incredible.
You can't. Can't. Can.
You can. Can't. You can a little.
Amazing. - Yes.
She wasn't even trying hard.
He's mocking me.
Four months! - Don't rush me.
I've been waiting four months! - My clothes! My mother will kill me.
I have connections. - Come one, stay calm.
Don't touch me! Why should I stay calm.
Soarcoksis, tomorrow I'll finish everything.
I'll even give you a discount. My pleasure.
His pleasure.
If you're not there tomorrow, I'd rather not be in your place.
And?
The magic potion gives them incredible strength.
I drank it and now I'm superman. Superwoman.
You don't believe me, o Caesar?
We shall see.
DoubleAngus! Slap her, to teach her.
Caesar will personally deal with this matter.
The dice is cast. Alea jacta est.
Excuse me. Ouch. Outtamyway!
In the name of Caesar! We know the Gauls are hiding here.
I demand that Atomix, Olympix and Triplehix...
Actually, their names are Asterix...
Their names don't matter!
If they don't surrender immediately we'll attack.
We're here to help Cleopatra.
By Toutatis, we're not leaving until the work is finished.
Don't be so aggressive. Maybe we can talk!
We'll slaughter you all!
I knew it.
Camerondius! Prepare the troops. And show no mercy.
Antivirus.
My name is Antivirus.
Arm yourself! One! Two! Three!
...Four! Six! ...Err, five!
Come on.
Get in line.
Here. Park it in the shade.
So, amateurs, coming to see the professionals at work?
Cut it.
Yes, it's rather impressive the first time you see it.
Getamanix, magic potion for the workers. - It's their day off.
So...
This is the palace, there are the gardens.
And there is the temple with the sphinxes.
That's not a good drawing.
I'm merely sketching.
In perspective it's more like...
I would have drawn it more from the side.
With you it's always from the side!
Those Romans are crazy.
Because of the violence in the next scene...
...we prefer to broadcast this documentary.
In contrary to common belief...
...the langoustine feeds exclusively on shellfish.
Which doesn't make it less friendly.
Careful...
One got through. Dogmatix, attack!
(Royal Canin ad theme)
Leave me alone! I've already drawn back!
Alright.
Sir, we don't allow such speeding here.
We're not in Romenia.
Ave Caius Ceepluslus, they withstood the attack...
...but some managed to get very close to the enemy.
Bravo, brave soldiers.
They shouldn't have challenged me.
And what's that?
We're the ones who got close.
But they were nice...
...They let us go without beating us too much.
What's the plan now? It's the amateur asking.
Attack again!
Caius Ceeplusplus, I'm not sure that's a good idea.
The Gauls are invincible...
...I think we better give up...
I'm very disappointed by your attitude, centurion Antiquarus.
Antivirus. My name is Antivirus.
No one humiliates the Roman empire. When it's attacked...
...the Empire strikes back.
He's mad. He hurt my throat.
It's too quiet.
I don't like it too much a lot. I prefer...
...when it's a little less too more quiet.
Stop!
War machines...
Take your positions.
How low can you go.
Beautiful landscape.
Not good, not bad either.
Fire! Destroy the palace!
Ready? - Ready.
When I lower my arm...
...you fire.
Easy.
There... bingo.
My palace!
Is all this violence really necessary?
I'd say it's fine.
Come!
Fine. Excellent.
With such equipment it's easy.
It's not about the equipment. - Oh yes it is.
No. - Yes.
No. - Yes.
No.
Yes.
My palace is turned into a ruin.
Go on, Romans, fire. We no longer care.
You missed. You shoot like girls.
We're still here.
We must inform Cleopatra. She could force...
...Caesar to stop.
No. No.
No.
No. - Yes.
Yours sincerely...
I have an idea. Dogmatix will bring the message.
Dogmatix will bring the message.
That dog? You want to kill me?
Edifis is right. I mean... it's a dog.
He got us out of the pyramid.
Go on, Dogmatix.
Take this message to Cleopatra.
He's too young to understand.
I'm hit.
Never mind, I'm fine.
Men! We're seaworthy yet again.
Aboard our mighty dragon ship.
It's an extraordinary mast, subtle as a bird. Reef the pigstick outboard!
Yes.
No.
No.
Too far.
I'm amazed.
It should hold.
A big sip. I'm leaving but I'll be back.
Hurry and be careful.
Hold on, Dogmatix.
Run, Hamsterisk, run!
Alarm!
I know that one. He's a grumpy man.
Shields!
Javelin!
Why isn't he stopping?
The magic potion!
Schoolbus, Trolleybus, get him! Quickly!
Go on! - But that's not my name.
Obelix is alone. Go help him.
I'm strong now?
Edifis...
...prepare your sarcophagus.
Double evasion.
Artifis, all that is gold...
...doesn't cover the judge's book.
Let's set up this family business! You're no innocent, Carlo!
Wait, I didn't drink any magic potion.
Paper beats stone. - Are you sure?
Very sure. - Ok.
No, no! Not the airplane spin!
I'm Artifis, and I owned Edifis...
The magic potion has worn off.
Cleopatra will never get the message.
How's family? - Fine, fine. Imhotep.
How's your father? - Fine, Imhotep. And how's your sister.
Everything's fine. Imhotep.
And how's your nephew?
He's doing fine, Imhotep.
And how's business?
Sorry, I'm borrowing this cart for a moment.
It's crowded here! - Fine, Imhotep.
Well that's useful.
We can't catch him. - He's got more horse power!
I can't go any faster. Giddap! Giddap!
Why do we always shout " Giddap! Giddap!" ?
Catch me if you can.
How will you get up, now?
Like this.
Fighting is ridiculous. Let's work together.
A lion doesn't pair with a cockroach.
Eh?
You see, the lion. A lion. DOES. NOT. PAIR.
...with a cockroach.
Ha ok! I thought you said...
"A wire *mumble mumble* pork roast!"
That sounded crazy! - That's not what I said.
Transmutating!
When I said lion I meant myself!
I knew that.
What's going on?
The lion doesn't pair with the cockroach.
Who put the lion to sleep tonight?
Say it to my face, if you're a man.
Everything ok?
By Jupiter, a moment ago he was still here.
We're going home. Gone is gone.
I've had it with Edifis.
Where are we going? - To Cleopatra.
I'm scared. - Yes, play it smart.
I know Cleopatra very well. Watch me.
I'm afraid I have no choice.
One, two, three, four, five.
Antelope and lion.
What does the prediction say?
A message and a loved one.
Whatever.
My queen... - Soarcoksis.
Come on in. - Go, Dogmatix. Give her the message.
That's the message. - And there's the loved one.
My queen, as you may know I'm building...
In fact, it should have been easily finished four months ago.
What? - Easily.
He can't get away with that!
Thank you, my queen, that you care so much.
By Isis, he's a sore loser.
This is typical of Caesar. But this time...
...he'll have to accept his defeat. We will finish in time.
No, the construction isn't finished. That's exactly the problem.
I'll see to it. You can go now, Gaul.
Gimmiakis, show him the way. I'll be right there.
Pardon me, old man.
Come, my Dogmatix. - Come, my Gaul.
I believe you don't understand my problem.
It's that way. Straight ahead.
Be careful. - Yes.
Everything will be destroyed.
Everything will be fine Tranquilum.
That attack was a good idea, wasn't it?
Yes, not bad.
Asterix is coming back.
When I lower my arm...
Well?
Don't know. A reflex.
How did it go?
Cleopatra got the message. - Great.
The magic potion took this long to wear off?
Well, it's like this...
You had a taste of the best magic potion there is.
Good. Come, my dog.
Dogmatix just came back and he succeeded.
I was sure he could do it.
There's a little pink...
Ave Caesar.
Somebody wishes to see Caesar.
Who? - Someone.
I see. Got to go.
What a pleasant surprise! What owes me...?
Enough! I rushed over here...
... I didn't even change my clothes.
What's the story?
When you accept a bet you have to play fair.
The Gauls may help me. - I never said...
If I may say something...
Just one... - THIS. IS. NOT. CONQUERED. TERRITORY!!!
I demand the Romans leave the construction alone...
...and repair all damages.
But... - SILENCE! NOW!
So what do we do now?
What she said. We leave and repair YOUR damages, moron!
Of course, naturally.
I wouldn't want her to sniff her nose at me.
No matter how lovely it is.
The Romans are leaving.
That's good news. - They're leaving already?
Each Roman leaving his footprint blah blah blah...
Excuse me, I couldn't help myself.
That's alright.
For the first time Romans and Egyptians were working together...
...on the construction of the palace. And just in time...
...when the last grain of sand fell...
What are you going to do now, Edifis?
I should finish my work for Soarcocsis, but...
You don't fear the crocodiles now.
That's why it could take a bit longer.
Not too long. Can't become a habit in this line of business.
Caesar admitted his defeat...
I bow to the most beautiful queen of all...
...and to the Egyptian people that, after the Ro...
And I bow to the Egyptians who are the greatest people of all.
Cleopatra kept her promise to Edifis.
Let him be covered with gold!
That was the deal. "Let me be covered with gold!"
The queen gave Getafix...
...valuable manuscripts from her library in Alexandria.
Your nose...
Your Majesty is too good, by Belenos...
Otis also gave the palace a modern touch.
What's this little chamber for?
It's Otis' invention.
It's a "no-effort".
We chose that name because...
...people can go up and down with no effort.
Speak for yourself.
Oh it tickles when it stops.
By Jupiter.
I want to explore every room of this wonder with you.
The palace is huge, Caesar.
It consists of 662 rooms.
It could take a while.
What do you think Cleopatra and Sesame are doing?
Caesar. - Cae-sar.
Nothing unpleasant.
As an exception to the rule...
...the banquet, that concludes all of Asterix's adventures...
...didn't take place in Gaul but in Egypt.
Those big shrimps are nice.
Homarus. - Obelix.
...And the guy says: "That's the Fair Oh."
Because his name is Oh.
His name is Oh and he's a fair judge.
So he's the Fair Oh.
The guy's name is Oh.
He says he's fair.
Fair Oh. Like the Pharaoh!
Like the leader of... of... ...us!
You have a lovely moustache.
Is it real? - Yes.
It's nothing.
You just let it grow.
Like your braids...
...which are nicer than Obelix's.
Smooth talker. You're not so shy!
Still, they call me...
...the moaner.
Good evening. Your name, please.
What for?
It's a private party. I've got a list.
I'm Julius Caesar.
Step aside, Sir, please.
There must be a problem, because...
Excuse me. Make some room.
- How are you, hun? - The party's hot?
I brought two, six... - Come in! Come in!
Welcome! - There's a misunderstanding...
...I have to be on that list.
How do you spell your name? - C, A, E, S, A, R. Ceeesar.
Ceeyouinparis, Ceintdenis, Ceeplusplus, but I can't find any...
Ceeplusplus, that's me. - Are you Ceeplusplus?
Why didn't you say so?
Lovely harness. - Thanks.
I'll see you inside. - Hawaya? Have fun.
Can you look for Julius?
J, U, L,... - Sir, I'm...
...trying to work here.
But... I know... My amphorae's inside.
With a J? - U, L, I, U, S.
Yes, that's right. Julius Caesar. At the queen's table.
Good evening. * Next time I'll screw you. *
Do you say "in Egypt" or "in THE Empire"?
In Greece they have those provinces, called "States".
One of them has a Golden Gate. You can say "in Greece" or "in The States".
Are you a maid?
I have other hobbies.
I can talk without moving my lips.
It's funny, the way...
I have another one... here.
Every part of your face hides something beautiful.
A rose out of your ear...
A sphinx from your nose.
The guy says: "That's the Fair Oh."
Oh is his name.
And he's fair.
It's a descriptive adjective. "Fair" applies to him.
The fair Oh, because his name is Oh.