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Jory: (in monotone for intro only) Yeah, mmhmm. Yeah, this is "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" Yeah, I'm Jory Caron. Mmhmm, I'm the host. Yeah, I can hear you now... Yeah, I can hear you now...
Can you hear me from the inside of a microwave? Let's find out! (whispers) It's a cell phone!
*theme song plays*
Jory: Let's go roast some nuts!
Jory: I wonder how long I should put it in there? Three minutes? Okay!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jory: Oh, jeez!
Jory: Oh, jeez!
Jory: Safety is our number-one concern.
Jory: Yeah, I think it's just gonna catch fire.
Jory: 'Cause nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Definitely a good idea!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's go find out! We have our cell phone here, and we also have the Jory Caron Laboratory, Part II. Tin foil shield right here, to protect our nuts, 'cause nobody likes roasted nuts!
We also have a proper ventilation system, consisting of two fans, and, as always, the love of my life, the Sharp carousel. (to Diane) I've missed you!
Jory: Okay, let's put in the cell phone. Let's start off this way... Aw, man! Oh, and we've taken out the battery, so calm down! Calm down! We're not... No lithium is going in our systems today!
Ezra: The battery might be another time!
Jory: Yeah! Okay, and in it goes. I wonder how long this will take?
Jon: They're roll-over minutes! Three minutes, it is!
Jory: Three minutes? Absolutely! Okay, now we just back up! You're behind your monitor, you're all safe- I'm not!
Jory: Here I go!
Jon: Oh, there it goes!
Ezra: Incoming call!
Jory: It's the antenna. It's goin'.
Jon: Can you hear me now, ***?!
Jon: "All-over network," my ***! Cingular is now roasting its nuts!
Jory: Yeah, that's for sure.
Jon: Cingular is now the new AT&T.
Jory: By the way, the iPhone just dropped in price. It's about time for this person to get a new phone, 'cause they aren't making anymore calls with this!
Jon: It's smokin' up pretty good, though.
Jory: Yeah, I think it's just gonna catch fire from now on.
Ezra: Burning plastic, I heard, is good for you!
Jory: We're all set. I'm gonna turn this one off. There we go! Okay, now let's go and find out what we just cooked up.
Jory: By the way, this is the only shirt I'd trust to breathe through when things go horribly wrong, like when you microwave a cell phone.
Jory: These masks- they do nothing!
Jon: Okay, take a deep breath, boys!
Jory: Ready? Oh, yeah! Ooh, it was stuck to the bottom, actually!
Jory: It's the quickest way to get into a cell phone.
Jon: You just hacked your iPhone, boy!
Jory: Yeah, I know! It probably won't make any calls now, but it's okay. The service was discontinued. Plus, we don't get a signal out here, anyway.
Jon: Fewest dropped calls right there!
Jory: Yeah, I know. So, is it a good idea to microwave this? No! Why would it be a good idea to microwave this?! So, that's pretty much it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm Jory Caron.
*end credits play*