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Oh, look! It's Muffin Girl in the flesh. -Yeah, it's me. -Well, this is a little
embarrassing.
Who knew Dr. Grenade would one day get The Shocker? -Right, so how do I get you
out of here? -I'm pretty sure one of those levers or buttons in front of you moves
the crane and swings the cage over to the ledge. -Okay. -Just don't accidentally
lower me down into the lava pit below. -Got it. -As if that's not enough,
he's got lava sharks to finish me off in case I'm not already dead once my
flesh has melted off of my charred body. -Yeah,
he tends to overdo it sometimes. -I also wouldn't be surprised if he lured
you in here as a trap and has a bomb planted somewhere. -Wouldn't be surprised.
Did you see him do anything suspicious? -I don't know. I was fighting him on a
rooftop and he knocked me unconscious. Then I woke up in this cage.
I haven't seen him since.
I swear. -Do you know how to defuse a bomb?
Who the *** do I look like?
MacGyver?
As a superhero, I would think you would at least know a thing or two about it. -Listen,
honey, I'm The Shocker.
I fight crime. I'm not the *** bomb squad. I've been in the game much longer
than you.
You've got a lot to learn. -I'm not a girl, ***. I'm a woman whose alter ego is a
full-time mother. You're just some prick with a stupid costume who calls himself The
Shocker. Do you even know what a shocker really is?
Of course I know what the shocker is, and you don't have to be a ***
about it.
Two for the pink and one for the stink, I know. -Two in the curtain, one for
the hurtin'. -Two in the front, one in the shunt. -Two in the fun, one in the bun. -Two
going down,
one in the brown.
Two in the gash, one in the stash. -Two for the crack, one in the back. -Two in the
slit, one in the ***. -Two from the hand,
one for the gland. -Two in the ***, one in the runt. -Two in the flap,
one in the crap. -Two in the gear, one in the rear. -Two for the pumper, one for the
dumper. -Two for the tube,
one with some lube.
Two in the ***, one in the grunt. -Two in the girl, one in the swirl. -Two
in the skunk, one in the funk. -Two in the cootie, one in the ***.
Two in the pink slot, one in the stink pot. -Two in the juice, one in the caboose. -Two
in the ***,
one in the moon. -Two in the ***, one in the stuff. -Two in the chute, one in the
poot. -Two in the pocket, one in the chocolate. -Two for the kitty, one in the ***.
Two in the hinge, one makes you cringe.
Or, if you're on your period, two in the red, one in the shed. -That's gross!
Hey, honey, I don't make the rules. Sometimes it just happens that way.
Whatever. -You know,
I invented the shocker. -That's ***. -No, really. It wasn't originally a ***
move, it was just my superhero name.
The hand gesture originally symbolized two heroes standing together united. This
was back when I had a sidekick, and it was represented by the pointer and
middle fingers held together.
Then the pinky represented the villain standing alone, alienated by his selfish
malice.
Then one day, someone decided to use that hand gesture to please a woman both
vaginally and anally, thus defiling my symbol. It was probably Dr. Grenade. I
hate that guy. He's such a ***.
You are so full of ***. That is *** ridiculous.
You know what's ridiculous? You are. -I hardly think so.
You're the dipshit who claims to have invented the shocker. Now I wish Dr.
Grenade would have killed you when he had a chance. -Just let me out of here
already. If you knew what Dr. Grenade has already done to me, you'd pity me.
I highly doubt it.
But just out of sheer curiosity, what did he do?
Things.
Very bad things. -Is this before he knocked you unconscious? -After. -I thought you said
you don't remember anything after he knocked you unconscious. -Well, I lied.
Quite frankly, it's a little humiliating.
Wow, did...
he unmask you? -No, worse than that. Let's just say my private parts hurt quite a
bit right now. -Private parts? Did Dr. Grenade *** you? -Yes.
Quite badly, in fact. He gave me the shocker. Repeatedly. -How could he even
pull that off? You don't have a ***.
At least not one that I know about. -He gave me a meatal shocker.
A meatal shocker? What's a meatal shocker? -Well, first and foremost, he did it
in reverse. He put two in my ***.
But then he shoved the other finger into my meatus. -Meatus? What the *** is
a meatus? -My dickhole.
Essentially, a meatus is to a *** as a *** is to a ***. -Oh. How
the hell did he fit his finger into your meatus? -Determination, I guess. Dr.
Grenade's level of resolve is nothing to be underestimated.
Yuck.
I'm sorry to hear that. -Yeah, my meatus is sorry too.
Trust me.
Oh well, if I ever get kidney stones, I suppose it won't hurt as bad. -Can we stop
talking about your dickhole now? -Yes.
So I guess I'll break you out of this cage now. -That would be great.
By the way, I've been meaning to ask: why do you call yourself Muffin Girl? -Because
I never shave and I've got the biggest *** you've ever seen. -Sweet! If you let me out
of here, I'll give you the shocker. -That would be amazing. Just don't bruise my taint.
I know.