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Should my boyfriend be my best friend?
You should be friends with your boyfriend, and not just friends with benefits.
He is a friend, and the relationship does have benefits.
There's an old joke that you can't have a war of the sexes because there is too much
fraternizing. But even if you love each other, you can't meet every emotional need through
one relationship.
There are a whole bunch of songs about how love is all you need.
Until you have to pay the rent.
Until you want to talk about how various celebrities dressed for the Grammy Awards and he sinks
down into the couch to try to hide from you.
He isn't going to care much about you shopping for clothes unless you're picking out lingerie
or asking him to pay for it. You're not going to care about sports, cars, or video games.
Oh, yes, I do. I'd tell him how much time it wastes.
And that's why you need good friends of your own gender to talk about these things. And
there's another role they play.
What role is that?
Having best friends of the same gender means you have someone you trust that you can talk
to about concerns in the relationship. A guy who says you can't have any friends but him
is probably isolating you so that he's your whole world, a precursor to a domineering
if not abusive relationship.
I know girls who won't let guys go out with friends.
It's a balancing act. He shouldn't spend so much time with friends that she's neglected
- or vice versa.
What should I say when I don't like his friendships?
You can tell what type of person someone is by the company they keep. If you don't like
his friends, there's something about him you won't like, either.
I need to talk to a girl about this.
That's why you need girlfriends.