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HERE'S "THE SEVERED FINGER IN THE BOX" TRICK.
JUST SLIDE YOUR FINGER IN THE BOTTOM, THEN...
VOILA.
COOL.
GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
WHAT'S UP, C.?
WATCH AND LEARN.
HEY, CARLTON, WHAT'S UP, MAN.
I WAS OUT, SO...
I PICKED A LITTLE SOMETHING UP FOR YOU.
WILL, HOW SWEET.
AAH!
HA HA HA.
OW!
HA HA HA.
LET'S GET GEOFFREY.
I DON'T KNOW. I'LL GIVE IT A TRY,
BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR YEARS.
HE DON'T FALL FOR NOTHING.
HEY, G., I WAS OUT AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU,
SO I PICKED A LITTLE SOMETHING UP FOR YOU.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I'M LOOKING FOR GEOFFREY.
I'M GEOFFREY.
THEN YOU MUST BE MY FATHER.
WELL, HE FELL FOR THAT.
♪ NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW ♪
♪ MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED ♪
♪ TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN ♪
♪ AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE ♪
♪ JUST SIT RIGHT THERE ♪
♪ I'LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE ♪
♪ OF A TOWN CALLED BEL-AIR ♪
♪ IN WEST PHILADELPHIA, BORN AND RAISED ♪
♪ ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS ♪
♪ CHILLIN' OUT, MAXIN', RELAXING ALL COOL ♪
♪ AND ALL SHOOTIN' SOME B-BALL ♪
♪ OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL ♪
♪ WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD ♪
♪ STARTED MAKIN' TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT ♪
♪ AND MY MOM GOT SCARED ♪
♪ AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE ♪
♪ AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR ♪
♪ I WHISTLED FOR A CAB ♪
♪ AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR ♪
♪ THE LICENSE PLATE SAID FRESH ♪
♪ AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR ♪
♪ IF ANYTHING, I CAN SAY ♪
♪ THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE ♪
♪ BUT I THOUGHT, NAH, FORGET IT ♪
♪ YO, HOMES, TO BEL-AIR ♪
♪ I PULLED UP TO A HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8 ♪
♪ AND I YELLED TO THE CABBY ♪
♪ YO, HOMES, SMELL YOU LATER ♪
♪ I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE ♪
♪ TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR ♪
ALL RIGHT. LET'S HAVE IT. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY?
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT OUTSTANDING CASHMERE JACKET?
I KNOW THIS IS QUITE A SHOCK.
I'M SORRY FOR STARTLING YOU, FATHER.
LET'S PUT A PIN IN THIS "FATHER" THING FOR THE TIME BEING.
I'M SURE YOU'RE A NICE ENOUGH LAD,
BUT I HAVE NO SON.
LET'S SEE, THE YMCA IS DOWNTOWN, OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
THERE'S A CHURCH NEXT DOOR.
IF YOU SIT THROUGH A SERMON, THE FOOD'S FREE.
BYE-BYE, TA-TA, CHEERIO.
WAIT. I CAN PROVE IT.
YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS.
MANY ARE.
YOUR MIDDLE NAME IS BARBARA.
LUCKY GUESS.
BARBARA?
HAAAAAAA!
IT'S A FAMILY NAME.
YOU'VE A TATTOO OF THE QUEEN MUM ON YOUR--
OH, MY GOD.
HOW CAN GEOFFREY BE YOUR DAD IF HE WASN'T EVER MARRIED?
O.K., UM...
UM...
WELL, YOU SEE, NICKY, UM,
SOMETIME THE STORK'S ARMS GET REAL TIRED.
HE PRETTY MUCH LEAVE THE BABY WHEREVER HE AT.
WILL!
SORRY. I SHOULD EXPLAIN.
MY NAME IS FREDERICK VICKERS.
PENELOPE'S YOUR MOTHER?
SO IT'S TRUE?
WELL, WE WERE MARRIED... BRIEFLY.
BUT WE HAD NO CHILDREN.
RIGHT. STICK TO YOUR STORY,
AT LEAST TILL THE BLOOD TESTS COME OUT.
WILL, WILL...
BY THE TIME MUM KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT,
YOU'D ALREADY LEFT FOR AMERICA.
BUT EVERYTHING TURNED OUT FINE.
WE LIVE IN A SMALL FLAT IN KENSINGTON.
I ENJOY RIDING, CRICKET, AND BOOKS ABOUT THE SEA.
YO. HE GOT THE SAME INTERESTS AS MISS JULY.
WELL, IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU,
BUT I SHOULD BE GOING.
I'LL FIND A MOTEL FOR THE NIGHT.
MOTEL? NONSENSE.
I INSIST YOU STAY HERE.
MY HOUSE IS YOUR HOUSE.
THAT IS, MY ROOM AND HALF A SHELF IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
AT LEAST STAY FOR DINNER.
OF COURSE HE'LL STAY, GEOFFREY.
IN THE POOL HOUSE WITH US!
WE'LL STAY UP LATE, PLAY CLUE, AND TRY ON EACH OTHER'S JACKETS.
I THINK IT SOUNDS LIKE A RIPPING GOOD TIME.
SAY, DO YOU HAVE ANY TOM JONES RECORDS?
DO I!
OH, HILARY.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I'D SAY YOU WERE READING.
I AM.
THIS IS FASCINATING.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
ME.
FREDERICK'S ARRIVAL'S MADE ME
WANT TO LOOK INTO MY OWN PAST.
LOOK AT ALL THIS.
IT'S ALL ME.
THERE'S ENOUGH STUFF HERE TO WRITE A BOOK.
KIND OF A RICHES TO RICHES STORY.
OH, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE FROM MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS.
OH, I WAS DARLING, WASN'T I?
AH, YOU SURE WERE.
WHO'S THIS POOR LITTLE HOMELY CHILD NEXT TO ME?
EWW.
UH, SWEETHEART,
THAT WAS YOU.
WHAT? YOU ALWAYS SAID--
I KNOW, BUT WHEN YOU FIRST SAW THIS,
YOU CRIED SO HARD,
WE SAID YOU WERE THE CUTE LITTLE GIRL.
EVENTUALLY YOUR TEETH STRAIGHTENED OUT
AND YOU GREW INTO YOUR NOSE JUST LIKE WE SAID.
YOU LIED?
YOU TOLD ME I WAS PRETTY WHEN I WASN'T?
WELL...
THANK YOU. YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME.
GEOFFREY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
NEVER BETTER, SIR.
WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF?
OH, THEY'RE FOR FREDERICK.
TRANSFORMERS-- THEY'RE ON SPECIAL.
A MITT, A FOOTBALL, A TOOL SET,
AND JUST IN CASE, A BOOK ON INTERIOR DESIGN.
GEOFFREY, I HATE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU,
BUT YOU'RE 10 YEARS TOO LATE.
BOYS FREDERICK'S AGE DON'T PLAY WITH TOYS.
OHH!
TRANSFORMERS!
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR RAZORBEAST SINCE, LIKE, OCTOBER!
I MUST ADMIT, SIR,
I'M AT A LOSS.
YOU'VE RAISED FOUR CHILDREN...
WELL, FIVE, IF YOU INCLUDE--
AAAAGH!
BOW BEFORE RAZORBEAST OR I WILL CRUSH YOU!
AAAAAH!
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO FIRST.
GEOFFREY, I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS.
YOU WILL BE A GREAT FATHER.
BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM.
I DON'T KNOW HIS INTERESTS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHETHER HE'D PREFER A LOOSE OR A FIRM PLEAT.
GEOFFREY, YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO FIND EVERYTHING OUT.
HAD I KNOWN, I'D HAVE KNOWN ALL THIS.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
I KNOW YOU WOULD HAVE.
I'M SO NERVOUS.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO LET HIM DOWN.
GEOFFREY, YOU WILL DO FINE.
JUST BE YOURSELF.
WE DON'T HAVE TO PLAY CATCH?
THAT'S RIGHT.
GOOD. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW
HIS DAD THROWS LIKE A GIRL.
SINCE FREDERICK IS THE GUEST OF HONOR TONIGHT,
YOU MUST JOIN US FOR DINNER.
OH, VERY KIND OF YOU, SIR.
SIT ON DOWN. SIT ON DOWN.
PERHAPS I SHOULD JOIN YOU AFTER DINNER.
GREAT.
YES, SIR. THAT WOULD BE BETTER.
HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW FATHER HOLDS THAT DISH
PERFECTLY BALANCED WITH HIS FINGERS JUST BARELY STEADYING IT?
SUPERB, FATHER.
ENGLAND MUST BE REALLY BORING.
YOU KNOW, FATHER, BEING IN SERVICE
IS SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.
MAY I?
CERTAINLY, SON.
SON...
I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.
I KNOW I CAN'T MATCH YOUR EXPERTISE.
I OWE IT ALL TO MY TRAINING
AT THE CAMBRIDGE ACADEMY OF BUTLERING.
AH, TO BE A C.A.B. GRAD...
AND WEAR THE SCHOOL COLORS-- BLACK AND WHITE.
PERHAPS ONE DAY WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.
NO. C.A.B. IS VERY EXPENSIVE.
NO, IT'S A DREAM THAT SHALL NEVER BE.
I WANT TO BE A BUTLER, TOO.
NO, YOU DON'T.
THANKS FOR TAKING ME WITH YOU.
YOU HAD GORGEOUS WOMEN CLIMBING ALL OVER YOU.
YOU'RE EVEN BETTER THAN WILL.
HOW'D YOU DO IT?
THE LADIES WERE MERELY CHARMED BY MY ACCENT.
YOU GOT TO TEACH ME HOW TO TALK THAT ENGLISH STUFF.
NO PROBLEM, JAZZ.
I HOPE I DIDN'T CRAMP YOUR STYLE, WILL.
OH, PFF, WHO ME?
I GOT PLENTY HONEYS TO CHOOSE FROM.
SHOOT.
AS YOU KNOW, IN ENGLAND, WE CALL POOL SNOOKER.
SNOOKER. HA HA HA...
THE WAY THIS GUY TALK CRACKS ME UP.
WHAT Y'ALL PEOPLE CALL THIS?
A CLOCK.
A CLOCK.
I GOT TO REMEMBER THAT.
HEY, YO, PIZZA. 16 BUCKS, WITHOUT TIP.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
MAN, I DON'T HAVE NO MONEY.
DITTO.
I'M DOWN TO MY LAST PENNY.
ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND, BRO.
I GOT TO GO CHECK MY SUPER SECRET STASH.
COME ON, Y'ALL, ASSUME THE POSITION.
OH, WILL--
YOU KNOW THE ROUTINE.
YOU AIN'T SPECIAL. FALL IN LINE, BRIT BOY.
OH, SORRY.
AHH...
GOT TO FIND MY MONEY.
ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL CAN LOOK NOW.
HERE. 16 BUCKS, WITHOUT TIP. PEACE!
MM-MM-MM.
TWO JUMBOS WITH EXTRA JALAPEñOS AND PINEAPPLES.
LET'S ROCK THIS BY THE POOL.
COOL--I MEAN,
THAT SOUNDS LIKE RIPPING FUN.
HA HA.
I SHALL JOIN YOU FELLOWS SHORTLY--
AFTER AVAILING MYSELF OF THE BATHROOM.
THE BATHROOM.
DAMN, I GOT TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE.
WE'LL BE OUT BY THE POOL, MAN.
YO, FREDDY, WE'RE ABOUT TO--
OH, HELLO.
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR--
WHAT'S THAT THERE, MAN?
PARDON ME?
GIMME MY MONEY, MAN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU TOOK MY MONEY. GIVE IT HERE.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO.
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN JOG YOUR MEMORY UP IN HERE.
FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BEAT ME UP?
OH, NO.
I'M ABOUT TO BEAT YOU DOWN.
COME ON, COME ON.
YAAAH!
AAH!
YAAAAH!
BOY, YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT YOU'RE GEOFFREY'S SON.
I'M GLAD IT FINALLY COMES IN HANDY FOR SOMETHING.
DON'T BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR POP LIKE THAT.
MY FATHER OF TWO DAYS?
YOUR SERVANT?
YOU WANTED TO BE JUST LIKE HIM.
OH, PLEASE.
ME A BUTLER SERVING THE LIKES OF YOU?
NOW YOU MADE IT PERSONAL.
GO AHEAD. HIT ME.
NAH.
THAT'S TOO EASY.
I'M TELLING YOUR FATHER WHAT KIND OF SON HE HAS.
GO AHEAD. BREAK HIS HEART.
HEY, Y'ALL SEEN FREDERICK?
HE'S IN THE KITCHEN.
HIL, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND.
WHAT IF YOU KNEW SOMETHING
THAT YOU NEEDED TO TELL SOMEBODY
BUT YOU KNEW IT WOULD HURT THEM,
MAYBE EVEN BREAK THEIR HEART.
OH, NO. I HAVEN'T GROWN INTO MY NOSE.
TEASPOON.
SOUPSPOON.
SALAD FORK.
DINNER FORK.
FREDERICK, MY MAN,
PIP, PIP.
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ***.
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,
THIS IS A BONA FIDE BRITISH BOWLER AND BUMBERSHOOT.
I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WHICH, BUT I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THE SET.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE SWEATIN' THIS FOOL.
I SAW HIM STEALING MONEY FROM UNDER MY PLANT.
WILL, JUST FOR MY EDIFICATION,
WHAT PLANT WOULD THAT BE, NOW?
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?
YOU JUST CAN'T ACCEPT THERE'S NEW GUNS IN TOWN.
I SAY, OLD BLOKE,
WHAT SAY WE SQUIRE DOWN TO THE LOCAL PUB
AND CHAT UP SOME BIRDS?
WHAT?
WANT TO GET A DRINK AFTER DINNER?
BY JOVE, THAT WAS A JOLLY GOOD MEAL.
YOU SEE THIS FORK?
YEAH.
IF YOU KEEP TALKING LIKE THAT,
IT'S GOING TO BE IN YOUR LEG.
FREDERICK,
FINDING OUT THAT YOU ARE MY SON
HAS BEEN ONE OF THE GREATEST JOYS OF MY LIFE.
KNOWING THAT YOU WISH TO FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS
HAS MADE ME A VERY HAPPY MAN.
SO IF YOU WISH TO ATTEND--
OH, FATHER, MORE THAN ANYTHING.
PERHAPS THIS CHECK FOR YOUR TUITION
WILL SHOW YOU HOW I FEEL.
OH! WHOA!
YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A BLOOMING GOOD BUTLER.
OWW!
PIP, PIP.
CHEERIO.
HEH HEH HEH...
CARLTON, WHERE IS HE?
WHERE IS HE?
WHO SCRAPED THE ICING OFF YOUR CUPCAKE?
CARLTON, I'VE BEEN GOING OVER THIS.
G. HAS GOT TO KNOW ABOUT HIS SON.
WHERE IS THAT LITTLE THIEF?
OH, STOP WITH THESE CRAZY ALLEGATIONS.
FIRST HE TRIED ROBBING ME,
NOW HE'S STICKIN' G.
WHERE IS HE?
THE MONEY'S FOR HIS EDUCATION.
HE DON'T WANT TO GO TO NO BUTLER SCHOOL.
WHERE IS HE?
COOL YOUR JETS, MISTER. YOU'RE ALL OVER THE MAP.
CARLTON, WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?
I THINK HE WENT TO GET HIS SUITCASE REPAIRED.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HE'S GONE, SO'S HIS SUITCASE.
THAT'S THE ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION.
CARLTON, MAN, HE LEFT.
WE GOT TO STOP HIM.
YOU'RE ONLY MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
FREDERICK'S TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY.
HEY, MY BOWLER'S GONE.
THAT LIMEY THIEF!
DOH!
HIS FLIGHT LEAVES IN FIVE MINUTES.
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
[BEEP]
HOLD ON THERE, SPORT.
I'LL GO TO THE GATE.
GO BACK THROUGH.
[BEEP]
[BEEP]
EMPTY YOUR POCKETS.
THERE'S NOTHING IN MY POCKETS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO COME WITH ME.
HEY...WHAT?
LAST CALL FOR BOARDING
AIR BRITAIN FLIGHT 1420 TO LONDON.
WHAZZUP, MAN?
WHAT, NO GOODBYE, NO LET'S KEEP IN TOUCH?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUCH A GENTLEMAN.
GIVE ME THAT CHECK.
IT'S NOT YOURS.
THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU, WILL.
THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY FATHER.
WERE YOU JUST SITTING AROUND SIPPING TEA AND CRUMPETS
AND DECIDED, "HEY, I'LL FLY HALF WAY AROUND THE EARTH
TO STEAL FROM THE FATHER I DON'T EVEN KNOW."
I DON'T CALL IT STEALING.
IT'S GETTING WHAT'S OWED TO ME.
EXCUSE ME. MY PLANE IS BOARDING.
IT'S A PITY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
THE KIND OF MAN YOU'RE WALKING AWAY FROM.
KEEP THAT MONEY. YOU'RE LOSING SOMETHING WAY MORE VALUABLE.
IS THAT RIGHT?
YEAH, THAT IS RIGHT.
GEOFFREY'S THE KIND OF GUY THAT WHEN YOU DOWN...
HE'LL PRETTY MUCH KICK YOU.
NO, NO. I'M SAYING, THOUGH,
YOU COME HOME LATE, NOT WANTING YOUR PARENTS TO KNOW,
GEOFFREY--
WILL DIME YOU OUT.
THIS IS THE MAN YOU'RE DEFENDING.
YES, 'CAUSE HE'S ALSO THE MAN
WHOSE EYES WELLED UP WITH PRIDE WHEN YOU WALKED IN.
HE ALSO CAN'T STOP BRAGGING ABOUT YOU
TO ALL HIS BUTLER FRIENDS.
HE DIDN'T HESITATE TO EMPTY HIS LIFE SAVINGS
FOR HIS SO-CALLED SON.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GO AHEAD. YOU GOT A FLIGHT TO CATCH.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, G.?
AH, MASTER WILLIAM,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WHICH BIKE DO YOU THINK FREDERICK WOULD LIKE,
MOUNTAIN OR RACING?
UHH...
WE GOT TO TALK, G.
YOU THINK I'M SPOILING HIM, DON'T YOU?
I THINK THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.
LOOK, G.,
WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS GOING TO HURT YOU BAD,
BUT I'M GOING TO JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.
I'M ABOUT TO PRACTICALLY ANNIHILATE YOU,
BUT I'M GOING TO GET RIGHT TO IT,
'CAUSE THIS IS GOING TO STING REAL BAD.
I AIN'T PUSSYFOOTIN'--
MASTER WILLIAM...
HURT ME ALREADY.
FREDERICK IS NOT WHAT HE APPEARS TO BE.
HE STOLE FROM ME, HE STOLE FROM YOU,
HE'S ON A PLANE TO ENGLAND, NOT GOING TO BUTLER SCHOOL,
AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.
HELLO, FREDERICK.
THREE OUT OF FOUR AIN'T BAD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I CAME HERE TO GIVE YOU THIS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUT TONIGHT.
HERE I COME, Y'ALL.
WELL, FREDERICK?
I CAME HERE...
TO SCAM MONEY-- FROM THE FATHER I NEVER KNEW.
BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY I REALIZED,
I CAN'T DO THIS.
I SUPPOSE I'M NOT THE SON YOU THOUGHT I WAS.
I HAD NO EXPECTATIONS.
UNTIL YESTERDAY I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD A SON,
BUT YOU KNEW YOU HAD A FATHER WHOM YOU'D NEVER MET.
FREDERICK,
WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT OUT OF MALICE TOWARDS ME.
IT WAS OUT OF CONFUSION AND ANGER.
SO...
YOU FORGIVE ME?
THAT IS WHAT FATHERS DO.