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Ricardo's history is just like many others. That's the history of someone who "come out of the closet".
It mean, takes his *** orientation for the family. He's transexual... ahn... he's ***, but...
it's a few more than just that... What Ricardo lived doesn't seem to be something of today.
Doesn't look like a reaction of XXI century.
-It is the reaction of his parents and the community where he lives
was not the most expected of a person who loves him. And the result is that we have
a very troubled young man ... And Julia interviewed him.
"DEAR JULIA"
-Hello, Ricardo. Why do you want to give this interview by hidden face?
-Because I'm afraid of what might happen if my family see my face in that video.
-Are you afraid of your parents? -It's a fear that makes me think
of all my acts and all I want in my life.
-What you want from your life is what has created a break with their parents ...
-in this case is. The break was created with my parents from the moment that
I helped them understand what was happening to me... And what I wanted for me... What I was
needed just to feel alive and to make a normal life.
-Ricardo lives in the countryside, but it is a rich family. A family that was supposed to give him a good childhood.
-I could not complain of financial problems. However, things started to get complicated over the years.
-My childhood was normal... -How was the boy Ricardo?
-I was always very calm. He liked to be in my corner. I already felt that something was different in me.
-Were you a typical kid who played football with friends... "struggles"... cars... bikes?
-I did not like playing football, I had no fights. I'd rather jump rope with colleagues. I liked to talk to girls.
I always liked "girly games". Even being friends with girls more than boys.
-This is a classic story of a child who always felt oppressed in a series of questions. And he could not
talk about it with family. Always had a comfortable lap, but that was not enough.
Ricardo's mother was always available to give love, but when she discovered, everything got reversed.
in the conversation I had with Ricardo, he told me that today is totally away from the family...
Despite being with her face hidden, the people in his city... A country town... have discovered that
it was he who was in the interview and he began to receive unpleasant messages.
The climax of the story is when Richard tells what was happening to the mother. He thought he would
have a lap, but everything was different ... -Let's see...
-The word homosexuality was spoken at home? -The word homosexuality ... In my house ... uh ...
We tried not to talk much. ahn... Although that whenever this subject appeared, there was
an indirect discrimination. ahn... I remember when the news came that Spain
homosexuals could marry, and we were watching television. Then a absurd critique about this situation
came out, and I can not even say those words of hate.
-It was very difficult to decide between your mother's lap and speaking the truth ...
-yeah. the first step was to say that I was different. Then he said he was gay. Then I had a response
like "I already knew," but with a very cold tone, very hard. And we could not talk much at that stage.
but the hard thing was when I said ... well ... It was not exactly in those words, but I said
"I am a ***, I would like to have an operation to become woman, cause that is what I feel".
Sometime after this, I was discovered that she wanted to kill herself, wanted to leave the son, wanted
to end her own life ... I understand that it is a shock, but when she wanted to leave me and kill herself, it
turned out to be a shock to me too because I realized I was losing my family.
-What does it mean? "losing my family"? -It means that I had not a mother anymore.
a dad, a brother... Losing those three people who were essential to me.
But when I revealed everything, even I wanted to do an operation to feel a woman, not a man,
Simply, the more correct phrase she found to talk that day was
"You're a monster".
-Thanks to Dr. *** is here with us. He is a well versed in this area sexologist... Well ...
This young man are in agony... -yes, a lot. That's a drama happening to the family.
Both the family and the individual suffer tremendously... But it must be said that this is an organic change.
it's a brain small change. In this case, is a brain that comes close the female brain. So it is not an option.
And the family needs to understand that, although it is a great shock.
I would suggest the family to seek people really in the know to learn more about the situation.
the family makes plans for their children's lives, and very quickly comes the news of that which changes
these projects. This is only the first phase.
It is a family very upset with the news that his son wants to become a girl. And how they respond to it is
with tremendous violence... The ricardo is haunted, had to flee the city. And I feel that all his friends, other
family members, everyone can not help him because his family is very influential in the city.
And they do not accept this ... -Yes, but I am convinced that it's a phase that will pass.
-mas é normal que isso aconteça... -is very normal. the family does not accept and is ready.
And mothers are much more comprehensive than the parents, and this is what happened here.
-Yes, but when she found out, wanted to kill herself! -But she still understood better son than the father.
Even with her violent action. -Perhaps this is because she thought the situation
was her fault, not his, you know?
-I would also like to remind you that this young man is receiving, and on this we have witnesses,
death threats for his own family. They say they'd rather see him dead to have to go through that shame.
-It's just words. And this is also a form of love because the parents feel "betrayed."
And I would like to insist that this family needs to talk to someone who is specializes ...
A person to explain what is going on. For it is an organic change that occurs during fetal life.
That is, the person is born, is BORN THIS WAY.
Now let's hear Richard talk about that this "love"...
-There was a collision course with your parents. -At this point I do not wanted to stay with my parents.
I began to receive anonymous phone calls with threats. One said he'd kill me and also my friend.
I believe the caller was my father. -Were they trying to make a shock therapy
to try to cure a "disease"? -I understood that my mother thought that
this situation would be a phase or a disease. And that, sooner or later it would pass. Or it would be
an influence of friends.
-And when this story has only one tension to a climate of violence?
-The first time there was violence, it was like a discharge of all that my father felt about me. He found me alone,
and hit me how much he could. And I cried a lot. this happened on the street, and some people came to help.
-Does your family have any influence with the police ... with social assistance?
-Yes, so if I try to seek such help, my parents found out and things may get worse for me.
When I looked for older people to know what I could do, they said to just take photos of marks on the body.
-Thank you for this interview.
-Things got worse? -Yes.
-Because you're here with us? -Not to be here, but because my family has ever
suspect that I am, and will try until they discover the truth. And then the threat will return.
-The doctor said that violence is due to the fact that parents make plans for their children, and when
they do not respond to these expectations, they have the most varied reactions. Isn't it?
-Yes, right. -Do you think this is what happens in your family?
-This is nothing new in my family. Has it ever happened that year, and every year just gets worse, not better.
-It is possible to help this family?
-The only way out is that they realize this is not a disease. This results in their brain structure.
-The Ricardo wants to do an operation, he wants to become a woman, right?
-Yes, ever since. I've researched everything, including the risks.
-Are there risks? -Yes, because the surgery does not always work.
People form an expectation, and does not always correspond with reality.
Not when your body is like that of Roberta Close.
I consider surgery too. But the point is that between 10 and 15% of people are disillusioned with your body.
-Are you prepared for that, Richard? -I am not prepared to continue living like this.
-During the interview, I felt that he tried very hard to resume family ties. Returning to the conversation
about this different form of love ... But he also lost the only lap that he had, who was the mother.
Especially at that moment she says "You're a monster. I think that Ricardo isn't prepared to break the family ties.
-I think he already broke that bond, but is never a complete break.
It is suffering from both sides. What they need is understanding.
-Ricardo ran away and joined with two friends who helped him. Here are the Magdalene and Sofia.
-What do you think? Ricardo is a complicated situation. -Yes, he is.
Since I know Ricardo, I know he is with danger. I've seen some episodes of verbal and physical violence.
Ricardo has called me at night really need my help ... -Does he llives with you?
-Close to me.
-What is the economic situation? --The situation is hard for him. But he runs into
employment, many. He already has a new one that will start tomorrow, he battles a lot.
-Do you agree with it, Madeleine? Have something to tell us more?
-I agree. I met Ricardo most recently, and I recall a situation that struck me very, very recently. I called
him, and he told me that the family hit him in public, he was bruised. Then plan how we would help him because
he was not well physically or mentally. Sometimes he called me and said "I can not stand it anymore.
I can not stand this lack of support from my family." -Glad you have good friends, is not it, Ricardo?
-You live now with this group? -Exactly.
-They are your second family? -They are yes, my second family.
-Ricardo, if your family is watching the program ... I believe they are ... You mean something to them?
-What I mean is that now I need a family, like we all need a father and a mother. And I just tried to rely on them
for that, and lost. Because of something that's not my fault, not my preference, or thought ...
I even thought about quitting ... I try to live a "normal" life, and not think about the rest ... I tried not to think
that way, and tried everything my parents wanted. But I could not. Or I took out from that prison, or I could lose my life.
-Even in the scenario you described, even being so conflicted, needs them?
-Yes. -Need Love?
-Yes. -You need the lap of his mother, the embrace of his father?
-Never had an approach in this way with my father. -Well .. Our time is running out ...
This sex change operation, it is complicated, is not it? -Yes, it involves family, friends, involves relationships ...
-So you've got to do this training in order to make the change?
-Long ago I plan it. But, for example, I looked for a doctor, and to do the surgery, I would need a series of
documents attested. But if I did, was how to tie a rope around my neck, because my parents are
influential in the city. -So you want to do this in the private sector?
-It would not be possible, because when I went to an association, they told me "go to the hospital of
Santa Maria." And when I got there, I was told that surgery is not done there.
-Then, to complete, I repeat what the doctor said: We have here a situation of disbelief ...
I suggest then that we have a little chat below ... Thank Magdalene, Sophia, Hannah, to Ricardo ...
And I send a hug to the family of Ricardo. Good afternoon.