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GIRL: This is so beautiful.
BOY: I drive up here sometimes to just like, think.
BOY: You can get really good cell reception too. GIRL: Nice.
GIRL: This car is so cool. BOY: Yeah.
My boss lets me drive it when he's in Saint Barths.
Also sometimes I walk his dogs for money.
That's awesome.
CRASHING SOUND GIRL SCREAMING
BOY: What was that?
BOY: Stay here.
GIRL: Be careful.
BOY: Don't look at my phone.
I must have scared it away.
Baby!
HISSING SOUND
What the...!
NEIL: Careful.
You wouldn't want to kill me.
Nothing like a good shave to start the day.
NEIL: Nice to fit me in.
O'MANSKY: We are a dying breed.
Put out to pasture by the electric razor
and society's romanticization of the scruffy-faced and the lazy.
As soon as I can afford an electric razor, I'm outta here.
O'MANSKY: A barber needs good, reliable regulars.
Friday 7:15 am. That's you.
Wednesday, noon.
That was your father.
Reliable isn't the first word that comes to mind when I think of him.
O'MANSKY: He died doing what he loved.
- Motorcycle jousting. - It's not even a sport.
You're all cleaned up. Ready to start the day... like a man.
Never underestimate the advantages of living across the street from a barber shop.
NEIL: Bill me.
Be careful out there!
I'm just gonna cross the street.
Just... don't take any unnecessary risks. Not today.
Nothing will happen to me. I'm not interesting enough to die young. See you later.
COMPUTER GAMING SOUND
Neil?
Guess what I'm doing correctly and I won't send this photo of your sad open mouth to the entire office.
- Playing the bongos? - No.
- Building a Jenga tower! -Why gess that?
- Drowning a ghost? - No!
Petting four invisible cats. Send.
OTHERS: Gross!
You! What are you doing right now?
Apartment listings, it's my job.
Stop doing that. This is more important.
Don't let him touch you. I believe in you!
Two D-List actors went missing in the Hills.
- Thank God you're here. - Great!
SIGH OF RELIEF IN THE ROOM
Is this the guy?
Fantastic. Double caramel Macchiato. No Whip.
WOMAN: Same, extra whip. MAN: Black coffee, nonfat milk, one brown sugar cube.
Why aren't you writing this down?
MAN: Where's that hot girl who usually does this?
What?
NEIL: I know we don't know each other except for that time you thought I was staring at you, and I was,
but I need your now badly.
No No No No. That's not what I meant..
This.
Bummer, yeah but I actually don't do those anymore.
I kinda panicked and nobody thinks I can handle anything so they said to come to the hot girl.
NEIL: Their words. I wouldn't say that.
Not that I don't think it, I do.
- I'ts just that I wouldn't say... - Are you done?
ASHLEY: Let's go. NEIL: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Just when you think you've been promoted above coffee runs.
This isn't what I want to do with my life, either.
You're an intern. No one wants to do what you do.
I've been here 4 years, I'm in apartment listings.
Which is so much sadder. I've done nothing with my life.
I'm sure you have. This job must be a stepping stone to a bigger job?
- You have a girlfriend? - Hum...
You have a rescue dog? Charity work?
You have nothing going on.
NEIL: Oh God, I hate this place.
I honestly can't tell if people here are joking.
I want to order a coffee without having to hear about someone's extensive vinyl collection.
I know these guys are the worst.
This is my boyfriend Devin. Devin, tell him about your vinyl collection.
NEIL: Boyfriend? That's... a relief.
I thought I'd have to take that tongue just to get a latte.
You're hilarious!
DEVIN: I'm going out on the patio and rip a fart like a gentleman.
He seems great.
He was brilliant before the accident.
I gotta go, but you can totally handle this.
NEIL: Right. ASHLEY: I don't know why but I believe in you.
Today's the first day the world takes note of... What's your name?
It's Neil.
ASHLEY: Everybody take note of Neil!
I made a major coffee run today. Not one mistake.
It's not a big deal, its not a huge accomplishment. Just not a total world-ending catastrophe.