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Happy 2013
This year already sucks.
Thank you, Leatherface
Texas Chainsaw 3D is the seventh installment in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise.
And yeah, 40 years, 7 movies and that's the scariest thing this franchise has got going for it
anymore
We all know who Leatherface is. We know he's this crazy nutjob with a chainsaw and meathooks
and all that kind of stuff,
but now....
he's just comic relief and it's pretty sad
what he's become, because in 74
we were pretty scared. I have the 74 dvd. I have it in steelbook form
and I actually admire Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Texas Chainsaw 3D...you
downright fail. I mean you work as a comedy but,
as a horror, as a slasher
you totally fail.
And this time around, Leatherface's hot cousin comes to town. She's the chick from Percy Jackson
a few years ago
And my my she has grown up.
It's only been three years, but
Leatherface, you got one hot cousin. So she and her friends come down to Texas,
and Leatherface raise
some hell.
Well he really doesn't.
Same time.
It's kind of funny now.
I really don't know where to begin with this movie. First of all,
it came out in the first week of January
which is pretty much the proverbial middle finger to us audiences.
I mean studios would say, go see a movie go see the worst thing possible.
spend your money
Do not spend your money first week of January. Whatever you do
whether it's The Rite from 2011, Devil Inside last year, Texas Chainsaw
this year
first week of January
SAVE YOUR MONEY
There is not one enjoyable scene in this movie.
The sex...disappointing. The drugs...disappointing. The violence...
disappointing.
It's just so watered down, I don't know how they got an R rating except for a couple F-bombs
and some violence.
If I want violence, I want violence not this
half done
garbage
they they just push on us. If I want Leatherface, I want a Leatherface, that's
gonna kill and *** and we're supposed to be scared of. And not some
comic relief that I'm just laughing at, at some guy with a chainsaw going [chainsaw noise] And it's like,
are you serious? That is not Leatherface.
And they even try to make Leatherface kind of like a good guy in this movie.
That's not Leatherface.
One bit.
And the 3D is so gimmicky. I thought it was bad in Saw 3D a couple years ago,
but Texas Chainsaw....
you take the cake. It is bad.
I mean things are being thrown at you.
Now I'm not expecting depth of field, not expecting Avatar or Hugo or something artsy.
I mean it's Texas Chainsaw 3D for crying out loud.
But the same time,
you're eating at the wallets and
that ain't right. I mean it's bad enough we're actually seeing the movie, but
3D too [frustrated]
And while I think the 3D in Texas Chainsaw just sucked,
the thing is the story, it was just so bad
so cliche.
I mean this movie runs out of steam in 40 minutes and the gotta go in a whole completely new
direction
And it's like...are you serious? We're actually paying for a movie that's only like half a movie and then just
drags things on at the end.
Are you serious?
Everything about Texas Chainsaw 3D is just so bad
and I guarantee by the end of the year
it's going to be on my worst 10 of the year.
And overall, I'll be giving Texas Chainsaw
3D
1/2
out of 5 stars.
Congratulations Texas,
you deserved it. [clapping]
And if you want to read my full review
of Texas Chainsaw 3D, click down below check out my blog and tell me down below
in the comments, what is the worst slasher movie you have ever seen? Whatever it is
tell me down below, I want to know.
And until next time....
that was an MNM review and I will see
you later.