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WELL, I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW
MINUTES.
>>> THANKS, TUCK.
IT'S TIME FOR ASK ALLISON.
IT IS FRIDAY AND TODAY'S
QUESTION IS ABOUT DEALING WITH
AN ILLED PARENT.
THAT'S HALF OF THIS DRAMA.
A VIEWER WRITES, MY 83-YEAR-OLD
MOTHER IS IN REHAB AFTER A
FALL, AND MY PARTNER OF 34
YEARS IS UNDERGOING
CHEMOTHERAPY FOR THROAT CANCER.
I WOULD PREFER TO CARE FOR THEM
IN THE SAME BUILDING WHEN MY
MOTHER RETURNS HOME.
HOWEVER, MY OLDER BROTHER HAS
POWER OF ATTORNEY, AND MY
FAMILY DOES NOT ACCEPT MY
HOMOSEXUALITY.
MY MOTHER AND I ARE CLOSE AND
SHE WOULD LIKE FOR US TO BE
THERE, BUT MY FAMILY WON'T
ALLOW ME AND MY PARTNER TO LIVE
IN HER HOME.
I DON'T BELIEVE I'LL SPEAK WITH
MY FAMILY AFTER SHE PASSES, BUT
FOR NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I DON'T WANT TO FURTHER DRIVE A
WEDGE BETWEEN US DURING THIS
LAST CHANCE FOR ALL OF US TO BE
TOGETHER.
SHOULD I BACK OFF AND VISIT THE
HOUSE WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND OR
SHOULD I PUSH HARDER TO BE ABLE
TO ASSIST IN HER CARE?
THIS IS SUCH A BIG QUESTION.
AND I HAVE DECIDED TO SPEAK
FROM THE HEART AND HOW I REALLY
FEEL ABOUT THIS.
THIS IS MY OPINION, AND I HOPE
IT HELPS YOU.
THANKS FOR WRITING IN.
MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU.
YOU ARE DEALING AND COPING WITH
THE SICKNESS OF YOUR MOM AND
PARTNER OF 34 YEARS, DARE I
SAY, MUCH LONGER THAN MOST
MARRIAGES LAST.
THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO BE
DOING IS DEAL WITH THIS FAMILY
DRAMA.
YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF
YOUR PARTNER AND MOM, AND I
ADMIRE YOU FOR FACING YOUR
RESPONSIBILITIES.
NOW, BECAUSE YOUR BROTHER HAS
CONTROL OF THINGS NOW, THE IDEA
OF MOVING YOUR PARTNER IN THE
HOUSE IS PROBABLY OUT OF THE
QUESTION.
OKAY.
BUT, THAT SHOULD NOT STOP YOU
FROM CARING FOR YOUR MOM,
SEEING YOUR MOTHER WHENEVER YOU
WANT TO.
YOU SAID YOU ARE CLOSE TO YOUR
MOTHER.
YOU'LL REGRET NOT PUSHING TO
SEE AND CARE FOR HER WHEN SHE
RETURNS HOME.
AGAIN, I HAVEN'T CONTACTED MY
LEGAL CONTACTS FOR ADVICE, BUT
IF YOUR FAMILY TRIES TO BAN YOU
FROM SEEING YOUR MOTHER, I CAN
IMAGINE, YOU'RE THERE AND
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEND
TIME WITH HER, YOU MIGHT NEED
TO SEEK THE ADVICE ABOUT YOUR
RIGHT AS HER SON.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT DRIVING A
WEDGE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR
FAMILY BECAUSE YOU ALREADY SAID
THEY DON'T APPROVE OF YOUR
RELATIONSHIP AND YOU DON'T
EXPECT TO HAVE MUCH OF A
RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM AFTER
YOUR MOM PASSES.
SO DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU NOW.
IT CAN BE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT AT
THE END OF THE DAY IT'S YOUR
MOTHER THAT NEEDS YOU AND YOU
NEED.
PERHAPS ARRANGEMENTS CAN BE
MADE FOR YOU TO VISIT YOUR MOM
WHEN YOUR BROTHER ISN'T AROUND.
YOU SAID YOU MIGHT BE OPEN TO
THAT.
WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO.
THOUGH I CAN FEEL YOU WANT TO
SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY, SO
I WOULD PUSH FOR THAT, TOO.
YOU WANTED TO TAKE CARE OF THEM
IN THE FAMILY HOME.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN, AND AT THE END OF THE
DAY I THINK WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS
YOU SEE YOUR MOM AND TAKE CARE
OF YOUR PARTNER AS WELL.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO SPLIT THE
TIME, GIVE YOUR UNDIVIDED WHEN
WITH THEM.
AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
IF YOU'RE IN THE SAME HOUSE AND
RUNNING FROM ROOM TO ROOM,
CARING FOR BOTH, THAT COULD
WEAR YOU DOWN.
YOU'LL NEED A BREAK, TOO.
EVEN THE DRIVE BETWEEN HOUSES
WILL BE TIME FOR YOURSELF.
SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH YOUR
MOTHER AS YOU CAN, AND I HONOR
YOUR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR PARTNER, BUT I
WOULDN'T TRY TO PUSH MOVING HIM
INTO THE HOUSE.
THE GOAL IS TO PUT YOUR FAMILY
DIFFERENCES ASIDE FOR NOW AND
BE WITH YOUR MOM AS LONG AS YOU
CAN.
THAT'S YOUR BIRTH RIGHT AND
DON'T LET ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY
FROM YOU.
I ALSO WANT TO SAY I HAVE A
COUPLE OF QUESTIONS I'VE BEEN
-- WE COULD TAKE IT TO THE SHOT
NOW -- A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS
I'M TRYING TO GET MORE ADVICE.
AND THEY'RE NOT AS SERIOUS AS
THIS.
THIS ONE SEEMED URGENT.
VIEWER, I HOPE THAT HELPED YOU.
AND I HOPE YOUR MOM HAS A
SPEEDY RECOVERY AND LIVES FOR
YEARS AND YEARS, AND YOUR