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>>> WELCOME TO "RED EYE."
TONIGHT,.
>> COMING UP ON "RED EYE."
IS THE GOVERNMENT BUILDING A
SECRET TIME MACHINE SO THE
GOVERNMENT CAN GO BACK TO 1787
AND REWRITE THE CONSTITUTION.
AND IS THE PRESIDENT SERIOUSLY
CONSIDERING CHANGING THE
AMERICAN ANTHEM TO "FREE BIRD"
THIS.
>> IT WILL BENEFIT EVERYBODY
AND WILL HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO
ENRICH THE COUNTRY IN WAYS WE
CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.
>> AND SHOULD GUYS WHO WEAR
BLUE TOOTH EARPIECES EARPIECES
IN PUBLIC BE SENT TO GITMO?
THE STORY GERALDO REFUSES TO
COVER.
NONE OF THESE STORIES ON "RED
EYE" TONIGHT.
>> SHE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND
A LIVER MADE OF STONE.
I AM HERE WITH AUTHOR,
COLUMNIST AND FOX NEWS
CONTRIBUTOR JEDEDIAH BILA.
AND BACK TO BORE US IS TV'S
ANDY LEVY.
AND FRESH FROM HIS ONE-MAN
SHOW, FRED GWYNN, JESSE JOYCE.
AND COMEDIAN SHERROD SMALL.
>> HASH TAG RED EYE.
>> A BLOCK, THE LEDE, THAT'S
THE FIRST STORY.
>> AND NOW, 43 MINUTES OF A
BATTLE.
>> THAT'S BETTER THAN IT WAS
LAST NIGHT.
IT IS A QUESTION ALL HIS FANS
ARE ASKING.
DID HE CHOOSE TO LEAVE OR WAS
HE FIRED?
YES ALEC BALDWIN IS GONE FROM
MSNBC AND THERE ARE
CONFLICTING REPORTS A AS TO
HOW IT WENT DOWN.
HENCE -- MSNBC JUST ISSUED A
STATEMENT SAYING, QUOTE, THIS
IS A MUTUAL PARTING.
RICHARD JOHNSON WHO BROKE THE
NEWS SAYS BALDWIN WAS FIRED
FOR A COMBINATION OF HIS
ANTI-GAY SLURS AND HIS
BEHAVIOR TOWARD CO-WORKERS.
A SOURCE SAYS BALDWIN PISSED
OFF STAFFERS BY DEMANDING A
MAKE UP ROOM BEING USED BY A
WOMAN WITH CANCER WHO HAD A
SENSITIVITY TO HAIRSPRAY.
AND WHEN HE WAS TOLD IT WAS
IMPOSSIBLE HE ALLEGEDLY
SCREAMED "I DON'T GIVE AN F"
IF SHE HAS CANCER OR NOT.
I WANT THAT F-ING MAKE UP
ROOM.
I EDITED MYSELF.
SO NOT LIKE HIM.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE DOES
PRESIDENT LIKE CAMERAS?
>> FINALLY.
>> SHERROD WAS BALDWIN FIRED
OR WAS IT A MUTUAL DECISION?
>> EVEN IF HE WAS FIRED OR HE
LEFT, MSNBC, HE MADE OFF.
>> WE HAVE ONLY DONE TWO
SHOWS.
HE IS PROBABLY GETTING PAID
FOR 12.
>> ONE MORE THAN ROB FORD.
HE IS A WINNER.
>> AND IT WAS TWO WEEKS WHICH
SURPASSED CHEVY CHASE.
>> HE IS GOING THROUGH A LOT.
THE PAPARAZZI AND THE HOT
DAUGHTER I AM STALKING.
>> THAT'S HIS WIFE.
>> JESSE, WHEN YOU ARE WORKING
AND RINGING UP T-SHIRT SALES
DO YOU NOTICE A LOT OF
CUSTOMERS ARE TALKING ABOUT
THIS STORY?
>> NO BECAUSE MOST OF THEM
SPEAK FARSEY.
THEY BUY THE T-SHIRT AND
BABBLE.
THAT HAS GOT TO BE ONE OF THE
MOST BRUTAL SHOW BUSINESS
QUOTES SINCE TED DAN SON SAYS
I DON'T CARE HOW MANY BABY
PANDAS DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST.
I WANT SOY MILK.
>> DO YOU THINK HE SAID THAT,
OR DO YOU THINK THIS IS A
PLANTED STORY?
>> WELL, THEY DID SAY THEY
LIKE PARTED WAYS.
I DO THINK THE BALDWINS HAVE A
TRADITION OF PARTING WAYS LIKE
STEVEN PARTED WITH REALITY A
LONGTIME AGO.
>> DANIEL PARTED WAY WITH US
AND REMEMBERING THERE WAS A
DANIEL ENTIRELY POSSIBLE.
>> HE PARTED WAYS WITH HIS
CLOTHES IN THE PARK.
IT WAS OUTSIDE.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
THE RATINGS WERE BAD AND DO
YOU THINK THAT HAD ANYTHING TO
DO WITH THIS DECISION?
>> THE RATINGS ARE BAD ON SO
MANY MSNBC SHOWS, I JUST THINK
IT IS INTERESTING MARTIN
BASHIRE HAS HIS JOB.
HE SAID THAT TERRIBLE THING
ABOUT SARAH PALIN AND PEOPLE
WANTING TO DEFICATE IN HER
MOUTH.
HE SAID THAT AND GOT AWAY WITH
IT AND DIDN'T FACE
PUNISHMENT.
HE APOLOGIZED AND ALEC BALDWIN
APOLOGIZED SO WHAT IS THE
DISCREPANCY AND WHAT QUALIFIES
FOR MSNBC?
WHAT WARRANTS FIRING?
MAYBE THIS GUY, MAYBE ALEC
BALDWIN CAUSED UPROAR AT WORK
AND MAYBE THEY COULDN'T STAND
HIM AND THERE WERE MANY LAYERS
HERE. I DON'T KNOW.
SARA PAY LYNN, ANTI-GAY SLUR
--
>> THAT'S THE OBVIOUS ANSWER
AND THAT'S FINE, BUT IT IS
TRANS PARENT TO EVERYONE THAT
IT IS PATHETIC.
MSNBC, DON'T MAKE IT SO EASY
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU JUST
DID.
>> IF CONSERVATIVE WOMEN DON'T
LIKE IT, GET YOURSELF A FLASHY
PARADE.
>> I WOULD LIKE A FLASHY
PARADE.
>> YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT ME
AS THOUGH YOU NEED TO SAY
SOMETHING EXTREMELY
IMPORTANT.
>> IT HAS BEEN A MINUTE AND A
HALF SINCE SHE SAID WHAT SHE
SAID AND THAT IS ALREADY THE
MOST POPULAR GIFT IN GERMANY.
>> HE HAS A LOT OF MONEY AND
AN ADORABLE BABY AND THESE ARE
THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HAVE.
HE IS ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND
YOU CAN'T MUSTER UP THE
SLIGHTEST EMOTION ABOUT
ANYTHING.
WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> FIRST OF ALL, HE WASN'T
FIRED.
>> I THINK THE REASON HE IS
ANGRY IS HE LEGITIMATELY HAS A
BAD TEMPER.
HE MAY BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS
WHO ARE PISSED AT SOMETHING
AND THE THIRD IS IT SUCKS TO
HAVE PAPARAZZI AND NEWS
CAMERAS FOLLOWING YOU AROUND.
THAT PART IS JUSTIFIED.
I DON'T THINK HE GOT FIRED FOR
WHAT HE SAID.
I THINK HE GOT FIRED FOR THE
FUTURE THINGS HE WAS GOING TO
SAY.
MSNBC TOOK A LOOK AND SAID
WELL HE HAS A HISTORY AND IT
IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME.
>> WHY DID THEY HIRE HIM?
WHEN THEY HIRED HIM THEY KNEW
HE WAS TAKING THAT RISK ON.
HE HAS A CRAZY TEMPER, AND SO
WHY DID THEY TAKE THE RISK TO
BEGIN WITH YOU HAVE TO
WONDER?
>> I HAVE TO SAY I DISAGREE
WITH 99.9% OF EVERYTHING ALEC
BALDWIN SAYS.
THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE
GETTING INTO.
THEY DID THIS OFF CAMERA WHILE
BEING HARASSED BY PAPARAZZI
AND THEY WERE FIGHTING WORDS.
FIGHTING WORDS ALMOST
EVERYTHING IS SUSPENDED.
EVERYTHING GOES.
>> TO GO BACK TO WHAT YOU SAID
, HIS RATINGS SUCK.
I THINK THEY HIRED ALEC
BALDWIN SAYING HE IS A BIG
TIME FAMOUS GUY AND HE WILL
GIVE US GOOD RATINGS AND HE
DIDN'T.
>> CAN WE JUST ALSO AGREE --
>> THEY ARE DIRTY PEOPLE.
>> NOT THIS ONE THOUGH.
>> THEY HIRED HIM BECAUSE THEY
WANT TO GET THE PROBLEM BLEEP
[ --] BLEEP [NEEDY CANCER
CHICK OUT OF IT.
>> I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY
WITH SAYING F TWICE.
I HAVE REPLACED THE TWO THAT
YOU TOOK OUT.
>> AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T ADD AN
EXTRA ONE.
>> SHU TOC SELL WITH A --
SHOULD YOU TUSTLE WITH A
TODDLER?
THERE IS A VIDEO ON HOW TO
KICK YOUR INFANT'S ***.
MANY WERE TICKLED BY THE TIME
FIGHT, BUT FEW EXPRESSED
CONCERNS ABOUT THE BABY
SAFETY.
WE CAN'T SHOW YOU THE VIDEO.
OH, YES, WE CAN.
GO.
>> HI, GUYS.
A LOT OF YOU ARE SCARED OF
BABIES.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I'M SO SCARED.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE
IT.
THEY ARE EASY PEASE TO DO IT.
THERE ARE A LOT YOU CAN DO.
HOLD THE BABY UNDER THE ARM
AND THEN SLAM.
THIS IS A LITTLE KNOWN
TECHNIQUE TO FIGHTING BABIES.
THE ONE ACHILLES HEEL.
YOU THINK YOU GOT WHAT IT
TAKES?
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE YOUR
OLD MAN?
>> I LOVE THE FEAR IS ASSUMING
THE PUNCHES HURT.
THE SLAPS DON'T HURT.
DOESN'T HURT.
>> SLEEPER HOLD.
>> HE JUST SCRATCHED MY EYE.
>> HE JUST GOT ME RIGHT ON THE
EYE.
HE SCRATCHED MY ACTUAL
EYEBALL.
SO, YEAH, DEALING WITH BABIES
IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
KEEP YOUR NAILS TRIMMED JIE.
AFTER A SILLY UPROAR OVER
ANGRY COMMENTERS "INSIDE
EDITION" WENT TO GAVIN'S HOUSE
TODAY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT A
CONCERNED DOCTOR WHO SAID,
QUOTE, THROWING A BABY CAN DO
DAMAGE TO THE BABY'S BRAIN AND
SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME HAPPENS
LIKE THIS.
IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT
SHOULD BE GETTING ATTENTION.
THIS IS NOT SOMETHING DADS
SHOULD BE DOING WITH THEIR
BABIES.
SHE SAID I HOPE HE -- THEY
SAID I HOPE HE LOVES HIS KID.
THIS IS WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID.
ALL RIGHT.
>> OH MY GOD.
>> THIS IS INSANE.
THAT ANYBODY WOULD CALL THAT
CHILD ABUSE.
THAT IS ROUGH HOUSING.
>> WHAT DOCTOR WAS THIS?
DR. CONRAD MURRAY?
>> THAT WAS SO TRUE.
>> DR. CONRAD MURRAY WAS THE
DOCTOR ON THE SOVIET SHIP,
HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER.
>> THIS IS A PRONUNCIATION --
>> WE HAVE TO GET BACK INTO
THIS STORY AGAIN.
JEDEDIAH, SOME SAY CHILD
SERVICES -- IS THIS THE
WOOSIFICATION OF AMERICA.
>> I HAVE TO SAY GAVIN WAS
INFINITELY HOT.
YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN SEXIER,
BUT THEY DO SAY ROUGH HOUSING
BABIES -- IT SHOWS IT CAN BE
GOOD FOR THEM.
IT BOOSTS THEIR
SELF-CONFIDENCE AND IT SHOWS
THEM HOW TO INTERACT WITH
PEOPLE.
WE START BABYING PEOPLE WHEN
THEY ARE BABIES.
>> YOU CAN'T BABY BABIES.
>> MAN UP, START YOUNG.
WE WON'T HAVE A BUNCH OF
BABIES SITTING AROUND.
>> I AGREE.
>> JESSE, YOU HATE BABIES
BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS CRYING
WHEN YOU ARE CLEANING THE
CHANGING ROOM AT THE GAP.
SHOULD THIS BE A STORY BECAUSE
A COUPLE OF PEOPLE LEFT U --
YOUTUBE COMMENTS.
ONE OR TWO PEOPLE SAID IT WAS
BAD.
>> FIRST OF ALL THAT WAS
RAISEY WRITING.
I HAVE I'M PREGNANTED A LOT OF
WAFFLES.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
TALKING ABOUT.
THAT IS FROM THE 1997DWARFING
FINAL.
THEY CAN'T EVEN MAKE FISTS
PROPERLY.
YOU JUST HAVE TO LEAVE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO
ANYTHING.
>> THAT IS A GOOD POINT.
HE HAS HIS KIDS.
HE IS A PRO LIFER.
HE HAS HIS KIDS.
HE DIDN'T DO THE OTHER THING.
IT IS GETTING GRIM.
>> ANYBODY THAT GETS BENT OUT
OF SHAPE, SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
IF YOU THINK THE KIDS SHOULD
BE TAKEN AWAY, NO THEY
SHOULDN'T.
WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF IT?
YOU?
>> YOU ARE SHAKING YOUR HEAD.
AS SOMEBODY WHO ROUGH HOUSES
WITH YOUR CATS I AM
SURPRISED.
>> I THINK GAVIN SHOULD BE
THROWN IN JAIL.
THIS IS CLEARLY CHILD
ENDANGERMENT.
IF YOU AMPLIFY THE VIDEO AND
ISOLATE THE BABY'S FACE AS I
DID YOU CAN SEE THE LOOK OF
SHEAR TERROR IN THAT CHILD'S
EYES.
THE BABY IS SCARED OUT OF ITS
WITS.
AS IT SHOULD BE.
IT WAS THROWN AT A HIGH SPEED
ON TO A HARD BED. THAT IS NOT
FUN.
BELIEVE ME I KNOW.
DON'T FIGHT YOUR BABY.
FROM YOU HAVING ISSUES WITH
YOUR BABY, TALK TO YOUR BABY.
THERE IS NO NEED TO FIGHT WITH
YOUR BABY.
>> YOU CONVINCED ME THAT GAVIN
IS WRONG.
>> BY THE WAY, FBI, I DON'T
KNOW IF YOU PICKED UP ON THAT,
BUT ANDY ON HIS HARD DRIVE HAS
A LOT OF IMAGES OF SHIRTLESS
INFANTS.
>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.
PEOPLE WHO CAN'T TELL THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROUGH
HOUSING AND VIOLENCE ARE
IDIOTS.
AND IF THEY EVER GET INTO A
POSITION OF AUTHORITY WHEN
DEALING WITH FAMILIES WE PR
ALL SCREWED.
THEY CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE.
DID THEY NOT PAY BECAUSE SHE
WAS GAY?
A NEW JERSEY WAITRESS CLAIMED
A FAMILY REFUSED TO TIP HER
BECAUSE OF HER ***
ORIENTATION.
DANA MORALES POSTED A PICTURE
ON HER FACEBOOK PAGE SHOWING A
RECEIPT WITH A NOTE READING
I'M SORRY I CANNOT TIP BECAUSE
I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR
LIFESTYLE.
THEY HATE WAITRESSES
APPARENTLY.
BUT THEN PEOPLE SENT MONEY TO
MAKE UP FOR THE TIP.
THE FAMILY SAID THE WHOLE
THING IS NOT TRUE.
THEY TELL NBC'S NEW YORK
AFFILIATE THEY COULDN'T
CARELESS ABOUT DANA'S GAYNESS
AND SHOWED A COPY OF THE
RECEIPT AND A CREDIT CARD
STATEMENT PROVING THEY NEVER
WROTE ANY NOTE AND DID LEAVE A
TIP.
>> WOW.
>> BUT, DANA IS STANDING BY
HER STORY SAYING I DON'T
KNOW.
ALL I KNOW IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN
SAYING.
WELL I AM CONVINCED.
THERE IS NO DISPUTING THAT
THIS IS AMAZING.
>> THEY ARE DOLPHINS.
>> FREEZE THEM.
>> WHO CARES?
>> SHE IS STANDING BY WHAT SHE
SAID.
THE KEY HERE IS THE CREDIT
CARD STATEMENT.
WHEN THERE IS A DIFFERENT
CHARGE WITH THE TIP ON IT IT
MEANS THEY CAN'T TIP.
>> THE RESTAURANT IS NOT
REALLY EXPLAINING AND THEY
COULDN'T HAVE CHARGED THE FULL
VALUE.
I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT -- AT
FIRST I THOUGHT WELL MAYBE
THIS GIRL MADE IT UP YOU AND
STUCK IT ON THE FACEBOOK AND
NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
EVERYWHERE.
IT IS BASED ON LIFESTYLE AND
IT WILL BE PICKED UP BY HOT
TOPIC.
THE CREDIT CARD STATEMENT MADE
IT A BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE.
>> I WENT THROUGH THE SAME
THING AND IT HAPPENED TO ME.
I NEED YOU TO SEND MONEY TO
MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
>> WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
>> A COUPLE DAYS AGO.
IT GOT REAL UGLY, RACIALLY
UGLY.
>> THAT'S WEIRD.
YOU DON'T WORK AT AN ARBY'S.
>> I DON'T, BUT SEND ME A
COUPLE DOLLARS TO GET ME
THROUGH THE WEEK.
BUY SOME BELTS AND SOCKS AND
STUFF.
>> DID YOU SEE HOW EXCITED
JESSE GOT WHEN YOU SAID HOT
TOPIC?
>> I NOTICED THAT.
>> I JUST WONDERED WHY HE
WALKED THAT AN ARBY'S AND YOU
TALKED HIM OUT OF IT.
>> YOU DON'T WORK AT AN
ARBY'S.
>> BUT JESSE, I KNOW YOU GET
MAD WHEN PEOPLE DON'T PUT
CHANGE IN THE SBARRO TIP JAR
WHERE YOU WORK, BUT WOULD YOU
MAKE UP A STORY LIKE THIS?
>> AS A FORMER WAITER WITH A
LESBIAN HAIRCUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.
I GOT TIPPED ALL THE TIME.
>> YOU DID WORK AT THE HARD
ROCK -- NO PLANET HOLLYWOOD.
PEOPLE THINK I MAKE UP THESE
JOBS, BUT YOU HAD THESE JOBS.
>> 15 YEARS AGO, GREG.
>> KD LANGE, TWO SPRITES.
>> YOU NEED TO DO THAT IN A
SRI-LANKA ACCENT.
>> DON'T DO THAT BECAUSE THEN
I HAVE TO EDIT IT OUT.
ANDY, YOU MUST HAVE A THEORY.
>> THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
HERE IS THIS COULD HAVE
HAPPENED.
>> EVEN IF IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
THIS CAN BE A TEACHABLE
MOMENT.
HOMOPHOBIA IS REAL.
EVEN IF THERE IS NONE HERE
THERE COULD HAVE BEEN.
>> EVEN IF THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN
IT RAISES AWARENESS.
>> IT RAISES QUESTIONS AND
AWARENESS.
IT IS GOOD WE ARE TALKING
ABOUT IT.
>> THERE ARE TWO INTERESTING
POINTS HERE.
THE HUSBAND CLAIMS HE DIDN'T
VOTE FOR CHRIS CHRISTY BECAUSE
OF HIS STANCE ON GAY
MARRIAGE.
>> THE OTHER THING IS PEOPLE
ARE TALKING ABOUT THE KERRY
SEAT THEY HAD AND THAT IS
MEANING LESS.
>> YOU CAN TAKE AND AND WRITE
WHATEVER YOU PRESIDENT WHAT.
>> IT IS THE CREDIT CARD
STATEMENT AND THAT PROVES --
>> THAT IS EXPENSIVE FOR TWO
PEOPLE.
>> THEY HAD KIDS.
>> EXCUSE ME.
>> I DID IT TO ME.
SHE IS A MARINE.
>> THEY DONATED THE MONEY.
>> WHAT IF SHE IS RIGHT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE
THAT THOUGH.
>> IF SHE IS NOT KEEPING ANY
MONEY IT IS A PUSH.
IT IS A
>> THERE IS HAND WRITING ON
THERE.
IF THAT IS HER HAND WRITING
AND SHE POSTED THAT ON
FACEBOOK WOULDN'T ANYONE WHO
KNOWS HER KNOW SHE DID THAT?
I WAS WONDERING IF IT WAS
POSSIBLE THERE WAS A THIRD
PARTY.
>> IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT TO GO
THROUGH.
>> IT IS HAPPENING EVERY
SINGLE DAY.
IT IS A TREND.
IT IS HUGE.
ALL RIGHT, COMING UP, SHOULD
MEN IN THEIR 40s WEAR
T-SHIRTS OVER LONG SLEEVE
SHIRTS?
JESSE JOYCE DISCUSSES THIS IN
HIS NEW BOOK "YES" AND WHY IS
CLIPT EASTWOOD -- CLINT
EASTWOOD DAUGHTER'S IN THE
NEWS?
I WILL TELL
>>> IF IT IS ABOUT A TURKEY
THE SITE WILL WORK.
THEY ARE FIXING HEALTH CARE
.GOV AND THE WEBSITE ABOUT
WHICH BIRD TO PARDON IS
FUNCTIONING FLAWLESSLY.
>> OBAMA.
VOTERS ARE ASKED TO CHOOSE
BETWEEN CARAMEL AND THEY ENJOY
SOY BEAN MEAL AND LADY GAGA.
THE TWO GO TOGETHER AND
POPCORN.
THEY ARE PARTIAL TO CORN AND
BEYONCE.
>> I LIKE CORN.
IS THE -- IS THE PARDON
WORSE?
THEY CALL IT GROSS SAYING IT
IS, QUOTE, A LIGHTHEARTED WAY
BY EASING INTO THE HOLIDAY
SEASON BY PRETENDING A TURKEY
BREAD TO BE EATEN AND THEN
DECLARING THAT WE WILL NOT EAT
HIM INSTEAD OF LETTING HIM DIE
WITHOUT BEING USEFUL AS A
PARTICIPANT IN THE FOOD
CHAIN.
THAT'S A REALLY LONG QUOTE.
>> SPEAKING OF STUPID
ANIMALS.
THESE ARE JUST GOING DOWNHILL.
>> FREE HIM AND THEN EAT HIM.
THAT WAS LIKE TED DANSON.
IS KILLING A TURKEY ANYTHING
TO JOKE ABOUT?
IT HAS A HEART.
>> I THINK -- I DON'T
UNDERSTAND THE SYMBOLISM -- IF
YOU WANT TO MAKE IT AN
AMERICAN THANKSGIVING
TRADITION EVERY YEAR THEY
SHOULD PARDON A NATIVE
AMERICAN ON DEATH ROW.
>> THAT'S AN INTERESTING WAY
OF LOOKING AT IT.
>> THE DUDE THAT WAS KILLED IN
"THE GREEN MILE"?
>> THAT'S AN INTERESTING
QUESTION.
>> WHY DO YOU PUT ME IN THIS
SEAT, HONESTLY?
>> HE IS HERE TO ASK
PROVOCATIVE QUESTIONS.
SHERROD, WHICH BIRD ARE YOU
FOR?
ARE YOU TEAM CARAMEL OR TEAM
POPCORN?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHICH BIRD I
WANT TO LIVE, BUT I WANTHEM
TO TURN TO THE PRESIDENT AND
SAY WHAT ABOUT MY PARENTS?
AND THEN CHOP HIS HEAD OFF AND
MAKE SOME SANDWICHES.
>> THE BAD NEWS ABOUT THE
TURKEY BEING PARDONED IS HE
WON'T HAVE OBAMACARE.
>> ARE YOU FOR REAL?
>> I AM PRETENDING HOW I AM AT
5:00.
JEDEDIAH, WOULDN'T IT BE
BETTER IF THE BIRDS ARE EATEN
RATHER THAN PARDONED?
THEY DON'T KNOW ANY
DIFFERENT.
THEY ARE JUST HERE FOR A SHORT
PERIOD OF TIME.
>> IT WON'T SURPRISE YOU TO
KNOW I FEEL BAD FOR THE
BIRDS.
I USED TO BE A VEGAN AND IT
WAS ROUGH.
I HAVE NEEDS TOO.
I FEEL BAD FOR THE OTHER
BIRDS.
WHY DO THESE TURKEYS GET
SPECIAL TREATMENT WHILE ALL OF
THE OTHER TURKEYS -- WHAT IS
SPECIAL ABOUT THEM.
>> THERE ARE WHITE PIGEONS
GETTING KILLED EVERY DAY.
>> PIGEONS ARE WHITE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR
LOGIC.
>> THEY ARE BLACK AND GRAY.
THEIR POOP IS WHITE.
>> MAYBE I AM GETTING
CONFUSED.
>> WHY ARE YOU -- SHUT UP.
>> THERE IS A HARD-HITTING
RACE AGENDA THAT I APPRECIATE
ABOUT "RED EYE."
>> WE ARE NOT SCARED TO GO TO
THE SENSITIVE ARTERY OF THE
STORY.
>> ANDY, HOW AWARE ARE THESE
BIRDS OF WHAT IS GOING ON.
IT IS ALL A MOCKERY.
>> THE REASON WE DID THIS
THING IS IT IS A LONG
TRADITION.
IT TURNS OUT PRESIDENT GEORGE
H.W. BUSH IS THE FIRST TO
PARDON A TURKEY.
THAT MEANS THERE IS STILL A
CHANCE OF STOPING IT AND WE
SHOULD TAKE THAT CHANCE.
>> I THINK NOW THAT YOU TOLD
ME THAT IT IS A GREAT THING.
>> IT IS BETTER THAN
OBAMACARE.
>> IT IS AN UNCONFIRMED STORY
THAT THE PRESIDENT LINCOLN'S
11-YEAR-OLD SON ASKED HIM TO
PARDON THE TURKEY AND THE
PRESIDENT DID.
OUR RACIST PRODUCER TODD KELLY
SAYS THAT WAS LINCOLN'S
GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT AS
PRESIDENT.
>> THIS IS THE DAY YOU GETTIN
EATEN.
YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR AND
YOU HAD YOUR RUN.
>> YOU KILLED A LOT OF
PEOPLE.
BY THE WAY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN
A BABY TURKEY?
A LITTLE TURKEY?
>> NO, BUT THEY MUST BE SO
CUTE.
>> THEY ARE PROBABLY NOT.
AREN'T THEY VULTURES?
AREN'T TURKEYS VULTURES?
>> THEY ARE IN THE SAME
FAMILY.
>> YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS IN THE
VULTURE FAMILY?
>> WHO?
>> GIVE ME A NAME FROM FOX
NEWS.
>> WE ARE GETTING OUT OF THIS
ONE.
DARK MEAT.
I LOVE THE DARK MEAT.
I DON'T LIKE THE WHITE MEAT.
I DIGRESS.
>> DARK MEAT.
DARK MEAT.
>> THANKSGIVING.
TONIGHT'S C BLOCK IS SPONSORED
BY COMETS.
THE THE CELECTIAL OBJECTS
CONSISTING OF ICE AND DUST.
THANKS, COMET.
YOU'RE WELCOME, GREG.
IT IS HOT IN HERE.
LOOK, A VIDEO OF COUPLES
HOOKING UP.
GET READY FOR A FRANK TALK
ABOUT SEX, EVERYONE.
>> THAT WAS AWESOME.
>> WE ARE TRYING TO MORPH "RED
EYE" INTO A LOWER VERSION OF
THE WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW.
>> HOW YOU DOIN?
>> THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME WE
HAVE DONE THAT.
>>> WHEN IT COMES TO SEX THEY
ARE CIRCUMSPECT.
WOMEN ARE HARD WIRED TO REGRET
CASUAL SEX BECAUSE OF THE
BURDEN OF RAISING A BRAT.
MEN ARE BUMMED ABOUT NOT
HAVING SEX AT ALL.
A STUDY FOUND THAT THE MAIN
REGRETS FOR FEMALES INCLUDE
LOSING THEIR VIRGINITY TO THE
WRONG PERSON, ANDY LEVY,
CHEATING OR MOVING TOO FAST.
MEN ON THE OTHER HAND MOST
OFTEN GRIVE ABOUT -- GRIEVE
ABOUT BEING TOO TIM MITT TO
APPROACH A LADY.
WOMEN ARE PROTECTING SOMETHING
AVAILABLE, IE THE EGGS.
MEN HAVE A LOT OF STUFF TO
WASTE, THE OTHER JUNK.
HOW IS THIS MIND BLOWING?
>> IT IS NOT MIND BLOWING.
BUT I THINK WOMEN REGRET IT
OFTENTIMES BECAUSE IT WASN'T
THAT GOOD.
>> DO TELL.
>> IT IS WENDY WILLIAMS.
>> THE WAY WOMEN WORK, RIGHT,
WE ARE CONNECTED TO SOMEONE ON
ANOTHER LEVEL.
IT BECOMES A WHOLE DIFFERENT
EXPERIENCE.
>> LIKE IN AN ELEVATOR.
>> CASUAL SEX, YOU HAVE TO BE
GOOD, BOYS.
MOST MEN DON'T MOW HOW TO
BRING IT.
WE GO HOME AND SAY THAT WASN'T
WORTH IT.
>> WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?
>> I JUST SAID IT.
I AM JUST SAYING.
>> I WAS ONLY KIDDING ABOUT
TAKING THIS SALLY JESSE
RAPHAEL ROUND.
>> I HAVE TO BE HONEST, THAT'S
WHAT I'M HERE FOR, RIGHT?
>> IS THIS A BIG SURPRISE?
>> IT IS NOT A BIG SURPRISE.
WOMEN #R EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED
TO A SITUATION, IF YOU WILL
AND MEN ARE FILTHY ANIMALS.
>> HOW MANY WOMEN DOWRY GREET
NOT SLEEPING WITH AT THE SHORT
HILLS MALL WHERE YOU WORK?
>> I GOT THEM ALL, GREG.
I GOT EVERY ONE OF THEM.
ONE OR TWO I AM NOT EVEN SURE
IF IT WAS A GIRL.
>> HOW DO THEY GET THROUGH ALL
OF THOSE LAYERS?
>> HE DOES THAT SO AFTERWARDS
HE CAN SAY, SEE, THAT LASTED A
LONGTIME.
>> YOU DO UNDERSTAND HOW HARD
IT IS TO GET A TASER THROUGH
SIX LAYERS.
>> I TRIED IT IN SHOPLIFTING
AND IT IS GREAT.
>> GREG, I ONLY KNOW WHAT I
HAVE SEEN ON THE GERMAN
WEBSITES.
I IMAGINE THE PERSON WHO MOST
REGRETS CASUAL SEX SITUATIONS
IS WHO HAS TO CLEAN UP THE
COFFEE TABLE.
>> BECAUSE THERE ARE ALWAYS
SNACKS, ANDY.
THIS IS THE TYPE OF STORY THAT
OTHER SHOWS ARE AFRAID TO
TACKLE.
HOW DO YOU THINK WE HAVE
HANDLED IT SO FAR AS OUR
MAIDEN VOYAGE IN OUR LET'S
TALK ABOUT SEX BITING HARD
CORE AFTERNOON-TYPE SEGMENT.
>> I GIVE IT AN A MINUS.
I LEARNED A LOT, A LOT OF
WHICH I DON'T WANT TO KNOW,
BUT THAT'S OKAY.
I REGRET THE TIMES I WAS TOO
SHY TO HOOKUP.
I ALSO REGRET THE TIMES I WAS
TOO SHY AND DID HOOKUP.
THE ONLY THING I DON'T REGRET
IS STAYING HOME.
>> POOR THING.
>> THIS IS NOT ABOUT
BEHAVIOR.
IT IS ABOUT SCIENCE.
I ALWAYS GO BACK TO THE
INFAMOUS CASINO METAPHOR.
YOU IMAGINE A CASINO AND A
WOMAN HAS TWO CHIPS AND EACH
IS $500.
A MAN HAS A THOUSAND CHIPS
THAT ARE $1 EACH.
THEY ARE THE SAME AMOUNT OF
CHIPS, BUT THEY HAVE TO GAMBLE
DIFFERENTLY.
IT TAKES ALL BEHAVIOR IN
LIGHT. FROM BUILDING BRIDGES
TO FIGHTING WORDS TO REGRET.
AND BY THE WAY, I DIDN'T COME
UP WITH THAT THEORY.
THE THEORY HAS BEEN AROUND A
LONGTIME.
>> I HOPE YOU DON'T SAY THAT
TO GIRLS.
>> WE HAVE ANOTHER SEX TOPIC.
I ALMOST WISH WE COULD SEE
THAT THING AGAIN, BUT WE
WON'T.
RESEARCHERS SAY FINANCIAL
WORRIES AND THE DISTRACTION OF
FACEBOOK AND JUNK MEAN PEOPLE
ARE HAVING SEX.
A POLL OF 15,000 BRITS SAY
THOSE AGES 16 TO 44 WERE
HAVING SEX LESS THAN FIVE
TIMES A MONTH.
>> WHAT?
>> I KNOW.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT.
THE CRAPPY ECONOMY AND THAT IS
TO BLAME.
THAT'S A LOT.
SAID ONE GENIUS, PEOPLE HAVE
TABLETS AND SMART PHONES AND
THEY ARE TAKING THEM INTO THE
BEDROOM USING TWITTER AND
FACEBOOK AND ANSWERING
E-MAILS.
I HAPPEN TO BELIEVE THIS IS
TRUE.
AM I JUST OLD AND FRAIL?
>> NO.
YOU VERY SMALL.
FRAILTY COMES ALONG WITH BEING
YOUR SIZE.
>> THE AVERAGE WOMAN AGED AND
THEY HAD 7.7 PARTNERS.
YOU WONDER HOW THAT IS
POSSIBLE TO HAVE A SEVENTH OF
A PARTNER.
>> YOU KNOW, THAT WAS COMING
AT ME SO SLOW.
>> IT SLOWED DOWN ON PURPOSE.
>> I WANTED THE AUDIENCE TO
CATCH UP TO THE FACT THAT GREG
IS A SEVENTH OF A PERSON.
>> SHERROD.
SHERROD, SOME ARE USING
ON-LINE *** AS A SUBSTITUTE.
>> YOU CAN USE THAT AS A
SUBSTITUTE, BUT NOT ALL THE
TIME.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO INCLUDE
YOUR PARTNER AND YOU HAVE TO
BRING YOUR PARTNER INTO YOUR
FREAKY.
THAT WAY IT IS ALL GOOD.
DON'T BE SELFISH WITH IT.
GIRLS ARE JUST AS FREAKY AS WE
ARE.
YOU BRING HER IN THERE AND SHE
SAYS I HAVE BETTER VIDEOS THAN
THAT AND I SAY, THIS IS THE
FREAK I LIKE.
CAN I GET ONE OF THESE?
>> HAS THE MODERN ERA CHANGED
YOUR HABITS?
>> IF MY MAN CAN'T DISTRACT ME
FROM MY IPAD TOO BAD FOR HIM.
YES I TAKE IT TO BED AND I
FULLY EXPECT SOMEBODY TO
DISTRACT ME.
>> DO YOU HAVE THE NEW IPAD
AIR THOUGH?
>> NO.
SEE, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
>> I BRING MY PHONE TO BED,
BUT IT IS TO BREAK WEED.
>> I'M SURPRISED YOU SAID
WEED.
>> DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN BREAK
IT.
>> HOW DO YOU BREAK WEED?
>> YOU BREAK IT UP, YOU FOOL.
>> WHAT DO I KNOW?
>> I LIKE HOW A ROOM FULL OF
PEOPLE LAUGHED AND YOU STAIRED
AT EACH OTHER WITH EMPTINESS.
IT WAS JUST WHITE EMPTINESS
STARING AT EACH OTHER.
>> COULD THIS EXPLAIN THE LOOK
OF MISERY ON YOUR PACE?
>> NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
MAYBE PART OF IT.
TO BLAME IT ON ONE THING IS
NOT FAIR TO THAT ONE THING.
>> I WAS TALKING ABOUT HAVING
LESS SEX WITH A BUNCH OF
FRIENDS AND I WERE WATCHING
THE DR. WHO AND WE ALL
COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
>> I HAVE A THEORY.
>> THESE ARE NOT
DISTRACTIONS.
THEY ARE OTHER THINGS TO DO.
THEY ARE DIFFERENT THEN
DISTRACTIONS.
OTHER THINGS TO DO FOOLS YOU
INTO THINKING YOU ARE DOING
SOMETHING WHEREAS A
DISTRACTION IS A DISTRACTION.
IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON DOING
SOMETHING --
>> THERE ARE NOT OTHER THINGS
TO DO.
YOU THINK YOU HAVE OTHER
THINGS TO DO BECAUSE HAVE YOU
TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.
I WONDER WHAT MY TWITTER IS
SAYING.
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT TO
GET ON ON THAT THING AND DO
YOUR BUSINESS.
>> YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING
AND SAY IT IS SATURDAY AT 9:00
A.M. YOU CAN GET A PAPER AND
GET SOME BREAKFAST AND A
COFFEE AND BE BACK BY 10:00.
IF YOU GET UP AT 9:00 IN THE
MORNING THERE IS A LAPTOP YOU
DON'T LEAVE UNTIL 2:00.
IT SUBTRACTED FOUR HOURS OF
YOUR LIFE.
>> THINK OF HOW MUCH YOU WOULD
GET DONE.
TWITTER ALONE HAS HOGGED
DECADES FROM MY LIFE.
>> IT IS NOT JUST FROM
RELATIONSHIPS.
IT IS LIKE DOING WORK.
IF YOU HAVE TO WRITE STUFF OR
PREPARE FOR A COMEDY BIT WHICH
SHERROD RARELY DOES.
>> RACISM.
>> SAY THE N-WORD, IT WILL
HURT LESS.
>> IT COULD BE APPROPRIATE
BECAUSE WE HAVE LONGER LIFE
SPANS WE ARE NOW LIVING TO BE
85.
MAYBE THAT IS WHAT THIS STUFF
IS FOR.
WE GET ALL OF OUR CRAP DONE BY
THE TIME WE ARE 30 AND WHAT DO
WE DO?
>> YOU WILL GET THE SEX IN
YOUR LATE 80s.
>> MY LOGIC IS TERRIBLE.
>> ALONG WITH THE LONGER LIFE
SPAN YOU CAN HAVE SEX.
>> NO MATTER IF YOU HAVE
*** AND CIALIS WHO WANTS AN
OLD MAN SWEATING ON TOP OF
THEM WITH A [BLEEP] NOBODY
WANTS THAT.
>> I KNOW A FEW THAT WOULD PAY
FOR THAT.
>> I AM HAVING TO RETHINK MY
SECOND CAREER PLANS.
>>> IT IS TIME TO TAKE A
BREAK.
I HAVE A NEW BOOK CALLED NOT
COOL.
LOOK AT THAT COVER.
IT IS COMING OUT IN MARCH, BUT
YOU CAN PRE ORDER IT AND YOU
CAN GO TO MY WEBSITE, G
GUTFELD.COM.
GO THERE AND ORDER 16 COPIES.
I DARE YOU.
>>> HE WANTS TO UNDO THE I
DO.
SHE IS PLANING TO END HER
DRUNKEN LAS VEGAS MARRIAGE TO
JONAH HILL'S UGLIER BROTHER.
THE 20-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER OF
CLINT EASTWOOD TIED THE KNOT
WITH JONAH'S SWEATY KIN A WEEK
AGO IN A CEREMONY IN FRONT OF
AN ELVIS IMPERSONATOR.
HOW MANY CLICHES ARE
INVOLVED?
NOW SHE PLANS TO GET N A
ANNULMENT BECAUSE SOURCES SAY
THAT IS A SURPRISE THE WEDDING
WAS FUELLED BY ALCOHOL.
ANYWAY, SHERROD, YOU ACTUALLY
MARRIED.
>> -- YOU ACTUALLY MARRIED JOY
BEHHAR.
>> I DID.
>> WHY DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT
THIS WHEN THEY ARE DRUNK?
>> FROM YOU THAT DRUNK HOW DO
YOU EVEN WALK DOWN TO
SOMEPLACE AND GET MARRIED?
I WOULD HAVE TO BE THAT KIND
OF DRUNK THAT YOU WOULD HAVE
TO DRAG ME IN THERE AND PUT MY
HAND UP AND PUT A RING ON IT.
SHE IS ALREADY A DUMB GIRL.
ALL DUE RESPECT, BUT I LOVE
CLINT EASTWOOD, BUT SHE IS AS
DUMB AS THE DAY IS LONG.
>> HAVE YOU EVER MET HER?
>> I SAW HER ON THE REALITY
SHOW.
I THOUGHT CLINT EASTWOOD HAS
TO GET HIS FAMILY OFF TV.
WELL AMERICA DID BECAUSE THEY
DON'T WATCH THE NONSENSE.
>> YOU ACTUALLY GOT HAMMERED
AND MARRIED CARROTTOP IN
VEGAS.
>> HE IS AMAZING IN -- NO I'M
KIDDING.
>> HE COULD BE.
>> PEOPLE TALK THAT STUFF
ABOUT HIM AND HE IS LIKE I'M
GONNA TEAR THIS UP.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO
INVENTING A *** THINGY?
>> LET ME ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
THOUGH.
I DON'T DRINK BUT WHEN GIRLS
DRINK WE GET LOVEY AND YOU GET
AFFECTION GNAT AND YOU LOVE
EVERYONE.
ONE GLASS OF WINE IS I LOVE
YOU AND TWO IS LIKE LET'S GET
MARRIED.
IT IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
>> YOU DON'T DRINK?
>> NOT REALLY.
I DRINK TWO GLASSES OF WINE
AND I AM DRUNK.
>> AWESOME.
>> JESSE, BACK WHEN YOU USED
TO DRINK YOU MARRIED JOHN
HILLERMAN IN HAWAII AND IT WAS
A BEAUTIFUL CEREMONY.
>> I MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY
DRUNK BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHO
THAT IS.
>> HIGGINS.
>> OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY
HIGGINS?
>> ALL HE HEARD WAS THE KNIGHT
RIDER VOICE AND HE FELL IN
LOVE.
>> YOU HAVE DONE WORSE THINGS
THAN THIS I IMAGINE, CORRECT?
>>AY WORSE, SURE.
>> SOME I DON'T THINK THE
STATUTE OUT OF LIMITATIONS IS
UP ON SO I WILL DO A JOKE
INSTEAD.
JONAH AND JORDAN'S FATHER, THE
TWO HILLS, THEIR DAD WAS THE
ACCOUNTANT FOR THE BAND GUNS
GUNS N' ROSES.
AS KIDS THEY SPENT A LOT OF
TIME AROUND THE BAND WHICH
EXPLAINS A LOT.
THAT'S WHY AXEL ROSE GREW UP
TO BE SUCH A [BLEEP].
>> I WOULD HAVE RATHER PRE --
PREFERRED A REAL STORY.
>> THAT IS LIKE WHEN I
REPURCHASE TALKING POINTS ON
"RED EYE" AND EVERYBODY LOOKS
AT ME WEIRD.
THAT IS JONAH HILL'S BROTHER.
>> IT IS WEIRD HE CHANGED HIS
NAME TO FELDSTEIN.
>> HE DIDN'T WANT TO SEPARATE
HIMSELF.
>> WE KNOW ABOUT YOUR TYPE,
ANDY.
>> PEOPLE SHOULDN'T MARRY
PEOPLE WHO ARE DRUNK.
THE PEOPLE WHO OFFICIATE THE
CEREMONY --
>> NOBODY SHOULD GET DRUNK.
>> MOST TATTOO ARTISTS WILL
NOT INK SOMEBODY WHO STUMBLES
INTO THEIR SHOP AND IS DRUNK.
IT IS THE SAME THING FOR
PEOPLE WHO OFFICIATE
WEDDINGS.
IF TWO PEOPLE ARE HAMMERED
JUST SAY, COME BACK TOMORROW.
>> IT IS VEGAS.
ISN'T EVERYONE DRUNK ALL THE
TIME?
>> NO EXCUSE.
>> ELVIS WAS DRUNK.
THE ELVIS WHO MARRIED THEM WAS
DRUNK.
>> ANDY, YOU ONCE MARRIED YOUR
CAT AFTER A *** BINGE.
>> I WAS GOING TO READ THE
QUESTION I WAS GOING TO PUSH
YOU TO THE LIMIT.
>> THAT'S WHEN YOU HAVE TO
STICK TO THE JOKE NO MATTER
WHAT.
EVEN IF THEY CHANGE THE WHOLE
STORY.
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS WHEN YOU
HATE YOUR FAMILY.
>> THAT'S PAUL McCURIO.
DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON THE
SHOW?
IT IS RED EYE AT FOX
NEWS.COM.
DO YOU HAVE A VIDEO OF YOUR
ANIMAL DOING SOMETHING?
CLICK ON SUBMIT A VIDEO.
COMING UP, THE MOST
INFLUENTIAL ANIMALS THAT EVER
LIVED.
THAT'S THE LAST STORY.
>> ALL RIGHT.
IS THE SHEEP THE TOP OF THE
HEAP?
"TIME" MAGAZINE NAMED THE 15
MOST INFLUENTIAL ANIMALS THAT
EVER LIVED.
FINALLY AMONG THE CREATURES
WITH CLOUT, DOLLY, THE FIRST
SUCCESSFUL CLONED MAMMAL.
BUBBLES, MICHAEL JACKSON'S
CHIMP AND GOD KNOWS WHO ELSE.
THE POLAR BEAR CUB AT A GERMAN
>>-
Q. AND HE DIDN'T -- ZOO AND HE
DIDN'T POOP.
AND KIKO, THE ANIMAL KNOWN FOR
MARYING KCHIRSTY ALLEY JIE.
WHAT ABOUT LASSIE?
OR BENJI?
WHAT ABOUT BRIAN FROM FAMILY
GUY WHO THEY JUST KILLED OFF?
REST IN PEACE, BRIAN YOU
RACIST DOG.
>> I FEEL THE COWS ARE MORE
INFLUENTIAL BECAUSE BE WE THET
THEM.
>> ANYTHING IN A SANDWICH IS
MORE INFLUENTIAL.
>> I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD ASK
ME WHO WAS MISSING FROM THE
LIST AND IT IS JASPER PERINO.
AS A RESULT I CAN'T SUPPORT
THIS.
AND LASSIE.
>> I AM BLEEPING OUT THAT
PERINO THING.
JESSE, YOU ARE FIRED UP ABOUT
THIS STORY AND I DON'T KNOW
WHY.
>> NONE OF THE PANDAS THAT TED
DAN SWRAW KILLED IN THE
HOLOCAUST WERE IN THERE.
I AM A HISTORY DORK.
THEY FORGOT BOLTO.
>> HE IS ON THERE.
>> HE'S ON THE LIST.
>> CHECK THE LIST.
I READ THE LIST AND HE IS ON
THERE.
HE SAVED THE PEOPLE IN
ALASKA.
>> OH YEAH. LIST.
>> THEN THEY FORGOT JOHN BOUGH
BOUGH -- JOHN BELUSHI.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> YOU ARE FURIOUS THERE WERE
NO CATS ON THE LIST.
NOT EVEN GARFIELD.
YOU SAID WHAT ABOUT CASSIE'S
CATS?
>> THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF
YOU MAKING [BLEEP] UP BECAUSE
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH CATS.
I NEVER TALK ABOUT CATS.
I NEVER ASK TO SEE PICTURES OF
CATS.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH CATS.
YOU KEEP NAMING FAKE ANIMALS.
THIS IS REAL ANIMALS.
>> ARE WE GOING TO IG
AUTHORIZE THE HEAT THAT CAME
OFF ANDY.
>> I JUST LIKE THIS AS A SIGN
OF SOLIDARITY.
I DON'T DATE *** CHICKS IN
THE MALL WHERE I WORK.
>> WHAT SOME.
>> HE HAS BEEN MAKING THAT UP
TOO?
>> I BOUGHT THAT.
>> I KNOW.
>> THE D.A.'S OFFICE BOUGHT
THAT.
>> LET'S GO BACK TO REAL
PETS.
I HAVE TO SAY CHICKEN, ANY
CHICKEN IN GENERAL.
>> BECAUSE YOU CAN EAT IT.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE GEICO
GECKO.
HE IS REAL.
>> AND HE IS BRITISH TOO.
>> I DON'T LIKE HIM. HE IS
TAKING AMERICAN GEICO JOBS.
THIS LOOKS LIKE IT IS FALLING
APART.
>> PRETTY MUCH.
>> A PROFESSIONAL HOST WOULD
TRY TO SAVE IT, BUT THAT WOULD
BE PHONY.
>> YOU KNOW WHO SHOULD HAVE
BEEN ON THERE?
UPSET.
THEY WON AND IT IS A BIG
UPSET.
>> IS THAT IS AN ACTUAL
HORSE.
>> YOU ARE DROPPING NOTHING.
JEDEDIAH, JESSE, TV'S ANDY
LEVY, SHERROD SMALL, THAT DOES
IT FOR ME.
GOD KNOW WHAT'S IS LEFT.