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The first mission started badly as Sam warmed up and tested the limits of what was allowed.
The second went better as Sam climbed over buildings, through vents... and straight into
a burning building. He marvelled at the bloom effects, before falling into them, forgetting
he wasn't the wall-running Prince of Persia. AND THEN HE FOUND HIMSELF BACK HERE! No wonder
people used to quick-save so much back in the day. After thinking laterally, he found
somebody who suffered the developers clearly didn't want to animate. Come on, dude! The
exit's just over there! We all know that wasn't the main reason.
After an underwhelming escape he found himself starting his mission for real. He accidentally
alerted every passer-by that he was there, jumping from balcony to balcony. Finally he
got to his first challenge- a lone guard. This shouldn't be a problem for Sam! Stupid
night-vision. He couldn't see the enemies without them, but couldn't judge his concealment
in the shadows with them. Still, he got to where he wanted to be and planned his next
step. Aha! A coke can. This must be used to good effect. Oooohhhohhoohh... Ah screw it.
He tried his best to be stealthy but the guards just weren't having it and it turned into
a blood-bath. As long as this didn't happen again, Sam should be okay.
Sam made himself at home, smashed bottles, stole beverages, borrowed medkits and played
with the most beautiful house in a game EVER before finding the Black Box and moving on
to the next area, spotting somewhere that wouldn't look out of place in Thief 2 in the
process. One elevator scene later, Sam conveniently
got his permission to use the streets back, which is lucky cos otherwise he'd be stuck
in a basement forever, hiding from people as they did their laundry. He soon came across
a challenge harder than anything he had seen before! Fortunately this coke can was like,
level 50 or something and everything went to plan. Unfortunately the darkness turned
against Sam (Much like it did against Batman in the Dark Knight Rises), he missed his chance
for a silent take-down and resorted to punching the poor guy in the face. This seems to be
the CubicleBrother method of dealing with problems, and it happened again only seconds
later. Seriously, for a stealth game, Stompy Sam's not very subtle.
Shooting lights out seemed to be a decent tactic to bypass some areas of the level and
after stealing enough health kits to make Max Payne proud he continued on with the level,
which seemed to comprise of endless streets filled with stereotypical, short-sighted bad
guys. Sadly something tough and manly of Sam's must have brushed against this innocent as
he raised the alarm, and once again any element of stealth went out of the window as Sam tore
through the rest of the area in record time. Sam jumped straight into the police station-
a requirement for any decent yet deluded stealth game.
This place felt especially at home for Sam as it was indeed the demo level. He felt as
though he could skip through the level and summon up the door codes from the depths of
his memory but alas, time had taken its toll on Silver Sam.
He used his stealthy prowess to- oh no, he mucked it up immediately and almost ran away,
before remembering a cool wall-jump move. Nope, that didn't work either. This did, however.
He showed everybody in jail who he was- I mean, even BATMAN can't resist that.
Sam was outsmarted by a Doom-esque closet enemy in surely one of the most pointless
rooms in a computer game, ever. He ran to the shadows, surely turning the situation
to his advantage. Shooting a blind enemy seemed wrong so he resorted to hand-to-hand. DAMN
YOU, light switch! Punching failed him and he was forced to try the mission again, only
this time avoiding that place. On his way to the morgue, he encountered a
typical LARPer in his natural habitat. This surely wouldn't be a problem for Sam! Woops.
Despite that mishap he totally pwned the dude and extracted all sorts of valuable information
from him. Sam's love of shiny cloth nearly got him caught
as he forgot about a camera in the corner. One shot later and he could continue his frolicing.
After new instructions he found himself listening to a HILARIOUS remake of
a Monty Python sketch. Feeling that they both had a sense of humour, he didn't expect the
INNOCENT to go and raise the alarm again. Seriously, they're worse than the guards!
Despite being oblivious to anything other than a disgruntled civilian who then raised
the police station alarm on his own, the guard knew exactly where to find Sam and met his
demise because of that little glitch. The top floor of the police station contained
a twist. The cop's working conditions were so bad Sam could understand their point of
view. Whacking them over the head seemed the best course of action however. In a side room,
Sam encountered an impregnable security system: a single door with a guard standing behind
it. Sam decided to wait it out and was very nearly caught as a result! After years of
guards saying out loud what they're thinking, this one broke the mould by bluffing! This
should definitely be more common in games. And real life.
Sam defeated the final enemy, got yet more generic information and then proceeded to
leave the place. Though one more task remained. THAT's for outsmarting the world's best agent.
IN THE FACE.
In the next video, Sam infiltrates the Ministry of Defence by imitating BATMAN. And hopefully
does better than this.