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This one goes out to all those pinkwashed TG websites from the 90s.
Melanie Anne Philips, I couldn't have done it without you.
Tips for T-girls, part one: voice.
Many t-girls think sounding feminine is about pitch, but that's just not true.
Word choice plays an important role, because as we all know, there is hard-wired genetic coding that limits what words
us poor little women are capable of uttering without feeling utterly ashamed of ourselves.
A feminine voice isn't enough;
you need a voice that is truly female.
Because voices have genitalia.
That's why we have special women-only words, like va-jay-jay.
But since you don't personally have the benefit of magical fairy genetics,
here are some practical tips to get you on the road to an approximation of womanhood:
Remember ladies, women speak more passively than men do.
Men say what they want, women say what they would like.
How can you expect to become the perfect Stepford Wife for that special endocrinologist in your life
if you keep stating your opinions clearly like a lumberjack
or a dirty lesbian who probably drives a truck?
For example, a man might say, "I want you to shut up, ***," whereas a woman would say,
"I would like it if you stopped beating me." Now you're getting closer...
Thank you for that.
Now you're getting closer to passing as your preferred gender!
When giving directions, remember that women are illogical, and never give street names,
instead preferring to mention random landmarks, like your favorite shoe shop,
or that adorable little corgi you saw chained to the parking meter. A man might say,
"Go straight northwest, I don't care if there's buildings in the way you ***, use a sledgehammer!"
While a woman might say, "Gee, I don't know street names that well, maybe I should just stay in the kitchen."
I'm calling that stuff out, not agreeing with it. Just in case you didn't know. Just checking in.
Part two: Dealing with uncontrollable male attraction.
Now that you're closer to becoming your new, more docile self,
your endocrinologist will surely take notice.
You may want to prepare for when he starts coming on to you.
It's a little known fact that good gatekeepers only treat t-girls they can imagine sleeping with.
It fills their gargantuan egos with joy knowing that they get to decide which women are allowed to have estrogen
and which aren't.
Your best bet is to be pretty, thin, white, and straight.
(If you ARE a dirty lesbian, SHH... don't tell.)
Anyone else is obviously not a REAL woman, at least not according to men.
Where do you think the phrase "trapped in a man's body" came from? MEN own your body, not you silly!
So don't take offense when he refuses to consider what estrogen levels you think are appropriate.
Like a good doctor he knows those silly trannies can't be trusted, just like real women!
Including the *** who divorced him five years ago, whom he never stops talking about.
Now you have the privilege of making up for her shortcomings. You'll know you're on the right track
when his hands linger while giving you a breast exam.
And remember, when he says "I want you to suck my ***,"
be a proper lady and say, "I would like it if you sucked mine first."