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♪♪
John A.: IT'S ABOUT TO GET DIRTY, AMERICA.
BIG BALLS, I'M ABOUT TO CLEAN YOUR BEDPAN.
WAHOO!
24 CONTESTANTS
WITH SOME OF THE DIRTIEST JOBS ON EARTH
ARE ABOUT TO FACE OFF AGAINST THE CRAZIEST,
MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE EVER ASSEMBLED.
ONLY THE MIGHTIEST THREE WILL ADVANCE TO ATTEMPT THE CLEANUP
ON THE MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE OF ALL --
THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
$50,000 IS UP FOR GRABS.
ONE DIRTY-JOBBER WILL BECOME CHAMPION,
BUT ALL WILL WIPEOUT.
Dawn: I'M SO DIRTY RIGHT NOW!
HELLO, AMERICA, AND WELCOME.
TODAY IS OUR FIRST-EVER "DIRTY JOBS" EPISODE OF "WIPEOUT."
I'M JOHN ANDERSON, AND HERE'S JOHN HENSON.
AND IT'S TRASH DAY.
I THOUGHT I WOULD PITCH IN IN HONOR OF DIRTY JOBS.
YOU WANT ANY OF THIS BEFORE I TOSS IT?
DON'T BE SHY.
I'M GIVING YOU FIRST CRACK, JOHN.
THERE'S SOME PERFECTLY GOOD CHICKEN BONES IN THERE.
YOU COULD DRY THEM OUT,
MAKE A NECKLACE FOR YOUR WIFE OR A MOBILE.
YOU KNOW, THE KIDS LOVE THAT STUFF.
NO, NO. YOU SEE, I GET THAT, YOU KNOW,
ONE MAN'S TRASH IS ANOTHER MAN'S EXTREMELY CREEPY TREASURE,
BUT I SUSPECT OUR 24 CONTESTANTS
ARE PROBABLY MORE INTERESTED IN THE $50,000.
WE CERTAINLY HAVE A JOB THAT CAN TURN THEIR STOMACH --
THE "WIPEOUT" QUALIFIER.
FIRST UP, THE SEWAGE MISTREATMENT PLANT.
IT'S GUARANTEED TO STOP YOU UP.
NEXT, THE FAILBOXES --
TODAY, OF COURSE, GUARDED BY A SKUNK.
THAT'LL PUT YOU IN A FUNK.
THE WORLD-FAMOUS BIG BALLS ON THE JOB AS USUAL.
THEY'LL PUNCH YOU IN JUST TO PUNCH YOU OUT.
AND SMALLSY CAME PREPARED.
HE HAS HIS NEW HAZMAT SUIT ON.
YOU KNOCK HIM TO THE MAT, YOU CAN "HAZ" $500.
AND DON'T FORGET THE TRIPPITY SKIPPITY FLIPPITY DOO.
NOT JUST A TONGUE TWISTER.
YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT IT DOES TO YOUR LIMBS.
FINALLY, A VISIT TO THE "WIPEOUT" TACO TRUCK.
WHERE THE DIRTIEST JOB OF ALL
WILL BE DONE BY YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL SYSTEM.
DIRTY-JOBBERS WITH THE TOP 12 TIMES
WILL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND
AND KEEP ALIVE THEIR HOPES FOR 50 GRAND.
THEIR JOBS ARE SO DISGUSTING,
THIS IS HOW THEY DECIDED TO SPEND THEIR DAY OFF.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S CHECK IN
WITH THE WOMAN WHO DOES OUR DIRTY WORK --
OUR CO-HOST, JILL WAGNER.
THANKS, GUYS. IT'S ABOUT TO GET DIRTY.
LET'S GO TO THE TOP OF THE COURSE.
I'M NUMBER ONE IN DEALING WITH YOUR NUMBER TWO.
WHOO! "WIPEOUT." YEAH!
CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE, NICK HOLLON.
WAIT, THIS GUY'S LAST NAME IS COLON?
NO, HOLLON WITH AN "H."
BUT YOUR COLON DOES PUT FOOD ON HIS TABLE.
TERRIFIC. JILL?
ALL RIGHT, NICK, SO, TELL ME WHAT'S SO DIRTY
ABOUT YOUR JOB? WHAT DO YOU DO?
I CLEAN CITY SEWER LINES.
I MAKE SURE THAT YOUR...STUFF YOU PUT DOWN THE TOILET
GETS WHERE IT NEEDS TO GO.
John H.: OH, SO, HE'S THE ONE THAT MADE SURE
MY GOLDFISH GOT TO HEAVEN.
YOUR NUMBER TWO IS MY NUMBER ONE.
FINALLY, SOMEONE WITH PRIORITIES!
[ AIR HORN BLOWS ]
John A.: HORN STARTS HIM OFF.
SEEMS LIKE NICK WOULD HAVE AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE
AT OUR SEWAGE MISTREATMENT CENTER.
CALL ME CRAZY, JOHNNY,
BUT I DON'T THINK WORKING IN A GIANT TUNNEL OF FECES
IS AN ADVANTAGE -- ESPECIALLY WITH THE LADIES.
THE RATS SURE SEEM HAPPY TO HAVE HIM.
[ CHITTERING ]
SAFELY ACROSS THAT FIRST PIPE.
OH, HE TAKES THE PLUNGE COURTESY OF AN OVERSIZED PLUNGER.
PROBABLY HASN'T BEEN THAT FILTHY SINCE...YESTERDAY.
EASY, WAGNER.
LET HE WHO IS POOPLESS CAST THE FIRST STONE.
NICK'S FINDING OUT OUR COURSE IS JUST AS ROUGH AS HIS DAY JOB.
YEAH, THEY'RE BOTH A REAL CRAP SHOOT.
CLIMBING OUT OF THE MANHOLE.
AND NICK IS CERTAINLY NO STRANGER TO MANHOLES.
PROBABLY HIS FIRST LOOK AT FAILBOXES, THOUGH.
EVERYTHING'S SO DIRTY.
DIRTY.
OH, HE GETS PEPE LE POUNDED.
JUST LIKE CLOCKING IN AT WORK, NICK.
SAME HIT, DIFFERENT DAY.
NICK'S HOPING TO KEEP THINGS FLOWING NOW ON THE BIG BALLS.
OOH, IT LOOKS LIKE SMALLSY'S A BIT OF A GERMAPHOBE.
CAN YOU BLAME HIM?
WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN.
ACTUALLY, WE DO. THAT'S THE SCARY PART.
HE'S NUMBER ONE AT NUMBER TWO,
BUT WHERE THE BIG BALLS RANK HIM --
OH!
ALL THE WAY TO NUMBER FOUR.
IMPRESSIVE FLIP FOR SURE, BUT HE DIDN'T TOUCH SMALLSY,
SO HE'S NOT GONNA GET THE CASH.
SMALLSY OUGHT TO PAY NICK FOR NOT TOUCHING HIM.
THANK YOU.
WHILE NUMBER ONE AT NUMBER TWO
CONTINUES TO SWIRL AROUND THE BOWL,
LET'S CHECK BACK AT THE START OF THE COURSE
WITH 24-YEAR-OLD JEANETTE MANER.
LET'S DO THIS, BABY!
YEAH, I'M GONNA MAKE LIKE A HORSE AND BANANA SPLIT!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
UNH! UNH!
LOOK AT ME! I'M A HORSE GIVING BIRTH.
UGH!
UM...
UGH! UGH!
SO, WHAT DIRTY JOB DO YOU DO?
OKAY, WELL, MY DIRTY JOB IS, I AM A HORSE BREEDER.
SO, I BASICALLY CREATE LIFE ON FOUR LEGS.
John H.: THINK OF THE THINGS SHE'S SEEN, JOHNNY.
SHE MUST BE A TOUGH LADY TO IMPRESS.
SO, WHAT'S THE DIRTY PART ABOUT YOUR JOB?
WE DO ARTIFICIAL BREEDING,
SO, BASICALLY, WE HAVE OUR HAND,
AND THEN WE...PUT HAPPINESS INTO THEIR FUN TIME.
AND THEN, VOILà, A BABY'S BORN.
MAN, MY HEALTH TEACHER WAS WAY OFF.
Jeanette: I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
John A.: HORSE NURSE JEANETTE JOCKEYING FOR POSITION
TO GET PAST THE TRIPPITY SKIPPITY FLIPPITY DOO.
John H.: A NURSE OF A HORSE IS ON OUR COURSE,
AND NO ONE CAN MESS WITH OUR COURSE, OF COURSE --
UNLESS A NURSE IS ON OUR COURSE --
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, PARTNER.
JEANETTE SHOW-JUMPING NOW. OH!
SHE GOT FLUNG LIKE A HORSE.
YEAH, JEANETTE, HERE ON "WIPEOUT,"
OUR SPECIALTY IS PUTTING THE SADNESS IN YOUR BAD TIME.
JEANETTE STRUGGLING TO HER FEET
LIKE AN ADORABLE NEWBORN FOAL.
WHOO!
SHE'S GOT A LITTLE GALLOP.
ALL SET TO HITCH HER HOPES TO THE TACO TRUCK.
GIDDY UP! GIDDY UP!
THE HORSE BREEDER INTO THE SOUR CREAM.
AND DOWN THE STRETCH, SHE COMES.
IT'S GONNA BE A PHOTO FINISH AT THE WIRE.
OH!
AND SHE HANGS ON TO WIN BY A NOSE.
YES! THAT IS HORSEPOWER.
OH!
THAT WASN'T.
YEAH, YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE BREEDER TO WATER,
BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HER THINK.
THAT PONY IS TIRED.
STILL, WHY THE LONG FACE?
YOU'RE IN THE BARN WITH A TIME OF 5 MINUTES, 13 SECONDS.
HEY, MAYBE THAT'LL BE ENOUGH.
OR MAYBE IT'S OFF TO THE GLUE FACTORY.
PONIES!
FROM HORSEPOWER TO GAS POWER NOW, JOHNNY.
LET'S MEET OUR NEXT CONTESTANT, DAVID CRAIG.
HE DEALS WITH RIVERS OF DARK LIQUID FLOWING UNDERGROUND.
ANOTHER SEWER SPECIALIST?
NO, DAVID'S IN THE OIL BUSINESS.
HE IS INSPECTING OUR PIPES FOR UNNATURAL GAS.
HE JUST GOT FRACKED.
I THINK I PEED A LITTLE.
DON'T YOU DARE PEE IN OUR SEWER.
THAT'S JUST CRUDE, DUDE.
WHAT'S DIRTY ABOUT THE WORK THAT YOU DO?
WELL, I WORK IN AN OIL FIELD, AND OIL IN ITSELF IS DIRTY --
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET BAPTIZED BY IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
COMPLETE HEAD-TO-TOE COVERED IN OIL SO BAD
WHERE I HAD TO THROW MY UNDERCLOTHES AWAY
BECAUSE THERE WAS OIL IN PLACES THAT IT SHOULDN'T BE.
EW. WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT DO YOU SMELL LIKE WHEN YOU GET HOME EVERY DAY?
YEAH, BABY!
THAT AIN'T DIRTY, IS IT?
John H.: LOOK OUT, LADIES.
THIS CRUDE DUDE IS SLICK.
John A.: WITH ANY LUCK,
HE'LL BE FORMULATED TO HANDLE THE BIG BALLS.
$500 FOR SMALLSY.
WE KNOW THE CRUDE DUDE CAN SMELL THAT MONEY.
OOH! A MASSIVE OIL SPILL.
HE JUST RUINED OUR TANK'S DELICATE ECOSYSTEM.
AND BY DELICATE, I MEAN TOXIC.
WHILE THE CRUDE DUDE ABIDES,
LET'S CHECK THE FAILBOXES TO MEET RUDEE DILICK.
HOW YOU DOING, RUDEE?
NOT TOO BAD.
SHE'S AN UNDERTAKER.
SO SHE SEES DEAD PEOPLE.
AAH!
RUDEE GETS TOE-TAGGED.
DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING.
YOU SHOULD HAVE.
SOONER OR LATER, WIPEOUTS COME TO US ALL.
SO, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO, LIKE, FROM DAY TO DAY?
I'M AN EMBALMER, SO I GET TO RAISE ARTERIES
AND INJECT THEM WITH FORMALDEHYDE
AND MAKE THEM LOOK REALLY GOOD FOR THEIR SERVICES.
John H.: SHE'S ADORABLE.
I BET SHE REALLY PUTS THE "FUN" IN "FUNERAL."
THIS IS WAY WORSE THAN WORK. WAY DIRTIER.
OF "CORPSE" IT IS.
THE TRIPPITY SKIPPITY FLIPPITY DOO
ALWAYS RUNS UP A SIZEABLE BODY COUNT.
OH.
OH, MUMMY. INTO THE FORMALDEHYDE.
GET HER A BODY BAG!
SHE NEEDS THEM FOR WORK.
Steven: OH, THE RATS! THE RATS!
WE MAY NEED TO PUT RUDEE TO WORK.
SOUNDS LIKE A LIFE-OR-DEATH SITUATION
AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE.
THIS IS STEVEN YOUNG, AND HE'S...
GET THESE RATS OFF ME.
...HALLUCINATING. I DON'T SEE ANY RATS.
TRY LOOKING THROUGH SOME 4D GLASSES.
DON'T YOU MEAN 3D?
NOPE, 4D.
THEY LET YOU SEE ANYTHING THAT'S DEMENTED, DISGUSTING,
DREAM-LIKE, AND DERANGED.
WOW, LOOK AT THAT.
HE REALLY IS SEEING RATS.
AAH! THE RATS! THE RATS!
SEE? JUST 'CAUSE SOMEBODY'S PSYCHOTIC
DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE CRAZY.
STEVEN HITTING THE ROAD.
HAPPENS TO BE HIS WORKPLACE.
HE CLEANS HIGHWAY STORM DRAINS.
ONE TIME, GOT SWARMED BY RATS.
THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HUNGRY, JOHN.
THEY ATE HIS HAIR.
I TELL YOU, RODENTS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS GUY, JOHNNY.
HE'S LIKE RATNIP.
ENTERING THE SEWAGE MISTREATMENT PLANT,
WEATHERING A STORM OF RATS.
OH!
WE JUST LEAKED RATNIP INTO THE WATER SUPPLY.
I NEED SOME WIPES.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED MORE THAN WIPES, JILL.
PREPARE FOR THE RAT-POCALYPSE.
ONCE THEY GET A TAIL WET, IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
AAH! WHAT WAS THAT?!
OH, THEY BREED LIKE RABBITS,
LEAP LIKE LIZARDS, AND RAIN LIKE CATS AND DOGS.
UH-OH.
LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE INFESTED THE MAINFRAME.
OH!
NOW THEY'RE MAKING US SQUEAL.
OOH.
OUCH.
YOU THINK?
EEE!
I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT OUT THAT KEG OF SPRAYABLE CHEESE.
WHAT A RAT-ASTROPHE.
*** APPETIT.
'CAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO DIRTY JOBS,
RATS ARE ALWAYS EMPLOYEES OF THE MONTH.
WELL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
OUR NEXT CONTESTANT DEALS WITH EVEN FILTHIER CREATURES.
YOU BOYS HAVE SOME DIRTY MINDS.
HEY, NOW.
WOWSER.
REST MY CASE.
THERE AIN'T NOBODY HERE DIRTIER THAN ME.
ANDERSON, NAME.
THIS IS DAWN KLARICH.
NO, WHAT'S MY NAME?
SO, ARE YOU A MAID?
I AM A MAID.
ACTUALLY, I'M LIKE A HOT HOUSEKEEPER,
SO I'LL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE IN A HOT WAY.
John H.: I WOULDN'T TRUST HER WITH LAUNDRY.
LOOKS LIKE SHE SHRUNK HER UNIFORM.
Dawn: I'M SO DIRTY RIGHT NOW!
OH, DON'T WORRY.
A LITTLE CLUB SODA WILL GET THAT RIGHT OUT.
John H.: NO, JILL, YOU CAN'T GET THE DIRT OUT OF HER MIND.
DAWN'S DIRTY ON THE INSIDE AND ON THE OUTSIDE.
SHE'S, LIKE, DOUBLE DIRTY.
DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN
FLIRTING WITH THE TRIPPITY SKIPPITY FLIPPITY-DOO.
THIS IS GONNA BE FREAKING AMAZING.
DAWN'S TAKING HER TIME.
WONDER IF SHE DOES WINDMILLS.
OH, I THINK SHE'S PRETTY FLEXIBLE.
HITS THE PLATFORM ON HER KNEES,
PUTTING IN A GOOD SCRUBBING.
OH!
SHE GETS DROPPED LIKE A BUCKET OF DIRT.
DID YOU JUST DROP A BUCKET OF DIRT?
WHOOPS, MY BAD.
WHOMEVER CAN WE FIND TO CLEAN IT UP?
THAT WATER WAS SO AWESOME!
IT CLEANED ME UP.
ANDERSON, IT IS A MESS IN HERE.
MAYBE DAWN OUGHT TO COME UP TO THE BOOTH AND TIDY UP A BIT.
TELL YOU WHAT, YOU GO TAKE A COLD SHOWER.
I'LL HANDLE CLEANING ALL THIS UP.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WOULD YOU MIND WEARING THIS?
BECAUSE I THINK --
THAT'S NOT MY COLOR.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE DIRTY JOBS --
INCLUDING MINE -- WHEN "WIPEOUT" RETURNS.
♪♪
♪♪
WELCOME BACK, AMERICA,
TO AN EXTRA GRITTY, GRUNGY, SPONGY,
"DIRTY JOBS" EDITION OF "WIPEOUT."
THESE PEOPLE ARE AMAZING, JOHNNY.
THEY'RE GRIME FIGHTERS, THE CRèME DE LA CRUD.
THEY REMIND ME OF A FRIEND OF MINE
WHO HAD THE SECOND DIRTIEST JOB I EVER HEARD OF.
HE WAS A LANDSCAPER.
I THINK THAT'S --
AT A PETTING ZOO FOR INCONTINENT WILDLIFE.
YEAH, THAT'S REALLY GROSS.
THAT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO MY FRIEND
WHO WAS LADY GAGA'S MEAT STYLIST.
HOLD THAT THOUGHT, MY FRIEND.
WE'RE LAGGING BEHIND HERE.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.
THIS IS DOUG GROVER. HI, DOUG. HOW ARE YOU?
WONDERFUL.
SO, WHAT'S DIRTY ABOUT YOUR JOB?
WELL, I DO PEST CONTROL.
AND I DEAL WITH SOME PRETTY DISGUSTING THINGS --
COCKROACHES.
EW, CRUNCHY BUGS.
I HATE ANY BUG THAT CRUNCHES.
YEAH.
AAH!
[ SCREAMING ]
John H.: AW, MAN. WE JUST HAD JILL TENTED LAST MONTH.
OH, MY GOD.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS REAL.
FUNNY. FUNNY. FUNNY.
NO ONE TOLD ME HE WAS GONNA DO THAT.
[ CRUNCH! CRUNCH! ]
YEAH, I MEANT TO PUT A BUG IN YOUR EAR ABOUT THAT.
John A.: MAYBE OUR ROACH POACHER
HAS MORE TICKS UP HIS SLEEVE AT THE BIG BALLS.
John H.: DID YOU KNOW
THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY THE SKELETON OF A GIANT ANT?
THERE'S THE ABDOMEN, THE THORAX, THE HEAD.
AND THE LAST ONE IS...?
THE TOP HAT. DUH.
ROACH POACHER SETTING HIS SIGHTS ON SMALLSY AND THAT $500.
TRAP'S IN PLACE.
OH, NO.
PESKY, LITTLE GUY REFUSES TO BE FUMIGATED.
TRUE THAT, PARTNER.
THE ONLY THING LEFT AFTER THE APOCALYPSE
WILL BE TWINKIES, COCKROACHES, AND SMALLSY.
JUMP OVER THIS SWEET PAPAYA...
THROUGH THE FAN.
ROACH POACHER HAS A PLAN TO TAKE ON THIS HIVE OF ACTIVITY.
CLEARS THE BAR. FLOATING LIKE A BUTTERFLY.
OOH.
OOH.
Doug: AM I STILL WEARING MY FACE?
YEAH, I THINK SO.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU LINE THE HOLES BACK UP AGAIN.
ROACH POACHER DOUG ON HIS WAY TO RAID THE TACO TRUCK.
ORDER OF THE NACHOS CON CUCARACHAS.
INTO THE SOUR CREAM, JOHNNY.
PUT A LITTLE HOT SAUCE IN IT.
AWW.
YOU KNOW, FOR A LITTLE KICK.
OH, THAT WAS A FACE SHOT.
HE'S SKIPPING PAST THE TACO TRUCK.
PROBABLY AFRAID HE'LL CATCH A STOMACH BUG.
ALMOST THERE.
OH, COLDCOCKED AND ROACH-BLOCKED.
WE PLAY DIRTY HERE AT "WIPEOUT."
AH, STREET TACOS.
THE LEADING CAUSE OF ROADSIDE EMERGENCIES.
THE ROACH POACHER IN AT JUST ABOUT 4 1/2 MINUTES.
HE HAS TRULY ROACHED HIS POTENTIAL.
WELL, IF YOU THINK HIS JOB'S NASTY,
YOU NEED TO MEET PAULA SHLUE.
HERE'S TO COLON HEALTH!
C-O-L-O-N-I-C!
YAY, COLONIC!
SOMETHING TELLS ME HER SPORT DOESN'T INVOLVE TIGHT ENDS.
HAPPY COLON.
AND ALSO WITH YOU.
Jill: WAIT A MINUTE.
CHEERLEADER -- THAT'S NOT A DIRTY JOB.
WELL, NO.
BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER FOR YOUR COLON.
FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
EXACTLY WHAT BROWN CAN DO FOR YOU.
I'M SO AFRAID TO ASK THIS, BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I'M A COLON HYDROTHERAPIST.
THAT MEANS I ACTUALLY CLEANSE THE COLON.
[ CLEARS THROAT ] RIGHT.
OKAY, SO, I DEFINITELY KNOW WHY THAT'S A DIRTY JOB.
COPY THAT, JILL.
THIS WOMAN'S BEEN IN THE TRENCHES, BEHIND ENEMA LINES.
Paula: GO, DEEP COLON CLEANSE!
John A.: OUR COLON CLEANSER REACHING THE BIG BALLS.
John H.: YEAH, SHE'S A LITTLE BACKED UP.
MOON RIVER.
AS PAULA KNOWS,
SOMETIMES IT TAKES DRASTIC MEASURES TO GET THINGS MOVING.
FOR HER, IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE ORIFICE.
JOHNNY, COULD YOU FIND A CONTESTANT
WHO DOESN'T DEAL WITH HUMAN WASTE?
SURE THING, BUDDY.
YEAH! YEAH! YOU CANNOT STOP IT!
THE POO-POO PICKER-UPPER!
HOW ABOUT DOG EXCREMENT?
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
SAY HELLO TO SHAWN BEKIR.
PIT BULL POWER!
HE WORKS AT A DOG KENNEL, KEEPING THE CAGES CLEAN.
WONDER IF THIS IS BETTER THAN CLEANING UP DOG POOP.
I DON'T KNOW.
IS THERE A THIRD OPTION?
OUR POOPER SCOOPER PICKING UP THE SCENT
OF THE SEWAGE MISTREATMENT CENTER.
THAT'S A GOOD BOY.
GET THE PIPE! GET THE PIPE! OH.
AW, BACK TO OBEDIENCE SCHOOL.
I GOT DOO-DOO WATER IN MY MOUTH!
THAT WAS A FAIRLY HEALTHY DROPPING FOR POOPER SCOOPER.
I'M SURE HE'LL HAVE NO PROBLEM PICKING HIMSELF UP.
HERE I COME, RED BALLS.
TIME TO FACE OFF
AGAINST THE WORLD'S FOUR LARGEST DOG TOYS.
OH!
AW!
GETS KICKED TO THE CURB.
SORRY, DOGGIES.
THE POOPER SCOOPER TAKING HIS DOGGIE BAG AND HEADING HOME.
THAT CLEARS THE WAY FOR OUR NEXT CONTESTANT.
WHOOPS.
POOPER SCOOPER MUST HAVE MISSED A SPOT.
THIS IS 23-YEAR-OLD RANCH HAND JENNIFER KUSSMAN.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
JILL, YOU REMEMBER JENNIFER.
YOU SPOKE TO HER EARLIER ABOUT THE JOB'S...BENEFITS.
WHAT DO YOU DO THAT'S SO DIRTY?
I WORK ON A RANCH.
GETS REALLY STINKY.
WALKING UP TO LUNCH, PEOPLE SAID,
"OH, THE WRANGLERS MUST BE HERE.
WE CAN SMELL THEM."
MEANING YOU?
BLECH.
John H.: DID THAT FLY JUST BARF?
John A.: WOW. THAT IS ONE RAUNCHY-SMELLING RANCH HAND.
YOU HAVE TO ADMIRE A LADY WHO ADMITS TO SMELLING BAD.
DO YOU?
THE RAUNCH HAND HOPING TO STAY DOWNWIND OF THE BIG BALLS.
AAH!
OOH, RIGHT INTO THE "WIPEOUT" LAKE.
THE ONLY THING DIRTIER THAN SHE IS.
THE RAUNCH HAND TOOK A SWING AT THE BIG BALLS,
BUT ALL SHE GOT WAS A NASTY WHIP.
IT MIGHT BE STINKY OUT ON THE COURSE TODAY,
BUT THERE'S ONE THING I'VE SMELLED MOST OF ALL -- OPTIMISM.
I'M A PIMPLE-POPPING PEOPLE PERSON!
YEP, THEIR JOBS MIGHT PACK A WALLOP.
OH!
BUT THESE ARE SOME OF THE HAPPIEST FOLKS WE'VE EVER SEEN.
BLOOD AND GUTS! BLOOD AND GUTS!
URINE AND VOMIT!
YOU CANNOT KEEP THESE DIRTY-JOBBERS DOWN.
OOH.
NOT FOR LONG, ANYWAY.
IT'S A LITTLE BIZARRE.
YOU'D THINK THEY'D SAY, "TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT."
AAH!
BUT INSTEAD, THEY'RE LIKE, "GIVE ME THAT JOB.
OW.
SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU LIKE THIS.
SOMETHING TELLS ME SHE LIKES BEING DIRTY.
NO MATTER HOW SLIMY...
AAH!
SMELLY...
OH!
STICKY...
OOH.
...OR ICKY THEIR OCCUPATIONS ARE,
EVERYONE ON THE COURSE TODAY HAS BEEN LIKE A RAY OF SUNSHINE.
AAH!
WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.
THIS WHOLE EPISODE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT MAKE ME ITCH.
AWW, I THINK SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET ON THE GIGGLE BUS
TO HAPPY TOWN.
WELL, JOHN, I KNOW JUST THE GUY TO HELP HER ON BOARD --
OUR FINAL CONTESTANT OF THE DAY.
♪ THE VOMIT ON THE BUS GOES UP AND DOWN ♪
♪ UP AND DOWN, UP AND DOWN ♪
♪ THE VOMIT ON THE BUS GOES UP AND DOWN ALL THROUGH THE TOWN ♪
THE VOMIT ON THE BUS?
THAT'S NOT THE WAY I LEARNED THE SONG.
THIS IS TORY BRYANT,
AND JILL FOUND OUT HE LEARNED THOSE LYRICS THE HARD WAY.
TORY, WHAT DO YOU DO THAT'S SO DIRTY?
I AM A CHARTER BUS SANITATION ENGINEER.
John H.: SO, HE'S A BUSTODIAN?
John A.: GOOD ONE.
WHAT CAN I SAY? I WAS DUE.
SO, TELL ME.
WHAT'S, LIKE, THE CRAZIEST, DIRTIEST THING
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED IN YOUR JOB?
WHEN I CLEAN BUSES,
YOU'LL SEE A [BLEEP] A [BLEEP] MIXED WITH [BLEEP]
John A.: OH, GOD.
REALLY?
ALL MIXED INTO [BLEEP]
OH, MY GO--
I FEEL YOUR PAIN, GIRL.
AFTER THAT STORY, I WILL NEVER EAT BUTTERSCOTCH PUDDING AGAIN.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
John A.: SHAKE IT OFF, JILL.
GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE.
John H.: JUST DON'T TAKE THE BUS.
THE BUSTODIAN EN ROUTE
AND COMING UP TO HIS UNHAPPY PLACE,
THE TRIPPITY SKIPPITY FLIPPITY DOO.
OH, COME ON.
LOOKING TO PARK IT ON THE OPPOSITE PLATFORM.
MAKING THE JUMP. HITS THE AIR BRAKES.
♪ THE BUSTODIAN ON THE COURSE ♪
♪ GOES UP AND DOWN, UP AND DOWN ♪
♪ UP AND DOWN ♪
♪ BUSTODIAN ON THE COURSE ♪
♪ GOES UP AND DOWN ALL THE WAY DOWN ♪
♪ INTO THE WATER ♪
THE BUSTODIAN NOW HEADED TOWARD A CROWD OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE ABOUT TO BE SICK,
THANKS TO ANOTHER MOVING VEHICLE.
BET HE COULD REALLY CLEAN UP HERE, JOHNNY.
DEFINITELY MOPPING UP SOME OF THAT SPOILED SOUR CREAM.
LOOK AT JILL.
NOT GONNA WATCH.
READY TO PULL INTO THE TERMINAL.
OH!
MAKES A RAPID TRANSIT INTO THE WATER INSTEAD.
SIT BACK, RELAX, AND LEAVE THE PILE-DRIVING TO US.
THE BUSTODIAN USING THE FAST LANE, JOHNNY.
FINISHING IN 3:34, PUTS HIM INTO THE NEXT ROUND.
YEAH!
AMONG THE OTHERS ADVANCING,
NUMBER ONE AT NUMBER TWO, NICK HOLLON...
Nick: I'M SEWER MASTER!
...THE UNDERTAKER, RUDEE DILICK,
AND DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN KLARICH.
Dawn: THIS COURSE LOOKS LIKE IT COULD USE SOME DUSTING!
ALSO STILL IN IT ARE THE ROACH POACHER, DOUG GROVER,
POOPER SCOOPER SHAWN BEKIR...
Shawn: THE POO-POO PICKER-UPPER!
...AND OUR RAUNCH HAND, JENNIFER KUSSMAN.
STAY TUNED, AMERICA.
OUR DIRTY-JOBBERS GET TO CLEAN OUT THE OCTOPUS TANK
♪♪
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
WASHED YOUR HANDS?
CAN'T BE TOO SAFE ON THIS VERY SPECIAL
"DIRTY JOBS" EDITION OF "WIPEOUT."
IT IS SPECIAL, JOHN.
THESE PEOPLE ARE HEROES --
BRAVE SOULS THAT TAKE ON CHALLENGES
MOST OF US DON'T WANT TO DO AT ALL EVER.
YOUR TURN TO CLEAN BALLSY'S TRAILER, ISN'T IT?
WHAT DOES HE EAT, JOHN?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SMELL IN THAT ROOM.
IT'S LIKE CHEESE AND FEET HAD A BABY.
DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME, MY FRIEND,
BUT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I'M AFRAID OUR REMAINING 12 DIRTY-JOBBERS
ARE UNAVAILABLE TO HELP.
THEY'RE TOO BUSY TRYING TO GET FILTHY RICH.
AMONG THEM, WE HAVE NUMBER ONE AT NUMBER TWO, NICK HOLLON...
Nick: I'M NUMBER ONE AT DEALING WITH YOUR NUMBER TWO.
...THE UNDERTAKER, RUDEE DILICK, AND RATNIP STEVEN YOUNG.
Steven: GET THESE RATS OFF ME!
ALSO KEEPING IT DIRTY ARE THE ROACH POACHER, DOUG GROVER,
POOPER SCOOPER SHAWN BEKIR,
AND THE BUSTODIAN, TORY BRYANT.
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION CAN BE DISGUSTING, JOHN.
THAT'S WHY NANA ALWAYS MADE ME HITCHHIKE TO SCHOOL.
HOPE YOU NEVER TOOK CANDY FROM STRANGERS.
NO, JUST BREATH MINTS AND SECRETS.
WELL, LET'S HOPE OUR CONTESTANTS
HAVE BEEN HIDING SOME SECRET POWERS
'CAUSE THEY'RE ABOUT TO FACE OFF
AGAINST THE DIRTIEST SQUID IN TOWN -- OCTOPUSHY.
AND THEIR JOB TODAY, JOHNNY -- CLEANING OLLY'S TANK.
HEY, I GOT A CONDITION, HUH?
YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO CURE TENTACLE WARTS?
OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
NANA HAD HERS LASERED OFF WHEN I WAS A KID.
AT THE SOUND OF THE HORN,
OUR GRIMY EMPLOYEES START THEIR SHIFT
BY HOPPING ON THESE ROTATING CIRCLES
AND MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE.
BUT WATCH OUT FOR OLLY'S SPINNING ARMS.
AND HIS MEDICAL PROBLEM.
HEY, IT'S NOT CONTAGIOUS.
OH, RIGHT.
FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU.
FOOL ME TWICE, I NEED A RIDE TO THE CLINIC.
FINALLY, LINE UP A JUMP TO THE FINISH PLATFORM.
TIME IT JUST RIGHT, YOU'RE DONE, AND YOU MOVE ON.
FIRST SIX TO MAKE IT THROUGH
WILL BE CLEANING UP IN THE NEXT ROUND.
THE REST WILL GO HOME WITHOUT A PAYDAY,
BUT THEY'LL HAVE MEMORIES AND INK STAINS TO LAST A LIFETIME.
INDELIBLY TRUE, MY FRIEND.
NOW LET'S GET DOWN TO THE DOCKS AND OUR DIRTY-JOBBERS.
WHOO!
MAN, THEY'RE SO DIRTY, THEY GOT TO AIR THEMSELVES OUT.
START IT AGAIN.
MIGHT I SUGGEST THEY'RE DOING THE WAVE, JOHN?
All: WHOO!
I PREFER SHOWERING, BUT WHATEVER WORKS.
Woman: LOOK AT US.
HEY, CHECK OUT POOPER SCOOPER.
HE'S REALIZING HE IS IN DEEP DOO-DOO.
YOU SEE JILL OVER THERE?
IT'S TIME FOR THESE DIRTY WORKERS
[ AIR HORN BLOWS ]
AND WE CAN FEED HIM A FEW CONTESTANTS AT THE SAME TIME.
BUSTODIAN MAKING A QUICK U-TURN.
AND HERE COMES A SLEW OF DIRTY WORKERS.
OH!
DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN DROP.
NUMBER ONE AT NUMBER TWO BOWLED OVER.
POOPER SCOOPER -- AW -- THE SCOOPEE.
Woman: GOOD JOB.
THE BUSTODIAN RUNNING AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.
NEXT STOP, PLATFORM.
NO!
OH!
Tory: I SLIPPED.
THAT'S WHY YOU GOT TO SQUEEGEE THE PUDDLES
IN THE BUS AISLE.
NO...MORE...PUDDLES!
RATNIP STARTS CHEWING AWAY AT THE OTHERS' LEAD.
HE GETS VERMINATED.
OW!
WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT.
OLLY'S DOING A LITTLE AUTOPSY.
OH!
FINALLY, THE UNDERTAKER GOES UNDER.
UNDER WATER.
GOD, PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY OVER THERE.
Woman: WE SUCK.
SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY DO SUCK --
VACUUMS, PLUNGERS -- I THINK ONE GUY USES A STRAW.
CRUDE DUDE WITH A SLICK MOVE.
HEY NOW!
...APPARENTLY TRYING TO GET TRIPLE DIRTY
WITH POOPER SCOOPER.
IT WORKED.
OLLY GOT A LITTLE POOPER SCOOPER CLINGING TO HIM.
NOW IT LOOKS LIKE CRUDE DUDE'S HAVING A GO
AT THE FINISH PLATFORM.
INSTEAD, HE TAKES AN OIL SPILL.
PLUG IT. PLUG IT!
PLUG IT!! OH!
WHAT AN UNNATURAL DISASTER.
HEY, WHERE THERE'S A GREASY SITUATION,
THERE'S DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN.
OH! HEY, THAT'S A SWITCH.
OLLY JUST USED HER AS A FEATHER DUSTER.
Olly: [ WHISTLING ]
WELL, THAT OUGHT TO MAKE THE PLATFORM CLEANER AND DIRTIER.
DIRTY OCTOPUS.
AN OPEN ROAD FOR BUSTODIAN.
GETS IT IN GEAR.
GONNA PARK IT INTO THE NEXT ROUND?
YES.
FIRE UP THE PARTY BUS.
THE BUSTODIAN MAKES IT THROUGH
AND LEAVES A FILTHY FINISH PLATFORM.
LOOK AT ALL THIS OVER HERE.
I KNOW. IT'S A MESS.
SOMEBODY'S GOT TO CLEAN THIS UP.
WELL, IF YOU NEED A HAND,
WHY NOT THE RAUNCHIEST IN THE WEST?
RAUNCH HAND ON.
GONNA BREAK THIS PLATFORM.
HERE COMES DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN.
OH!
RAUNCH HAND GETS BUCKED OFF.
BUT IT'S DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN
WHO SCRUBS OUT A SPOT IN THE NEXT ROUND.
I'M SORRY, BUT I LOVE YOU.
HEY, THAT'D BE A GOOD SLOGAN FOR HER BUSINESS CARD.
Doug: LET'S GO.
ROACH POACHER AND POOPER SCOOPER --
THEY'VE STRUCK UP A FRIENDSHIP.
OH, NO.
John H.: THEY GO TOGETHER LIKE PEAS IN A PORTABLE POTTY.
THE UNDERTAKER AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE THE UNDERTAKER,
YOU CAN GO OVER THE TENTACLE.
Doug: NO, I'M TOO SCARED.
John A.: ROACH POACHER AND POOPER SCOOPER ANXIETY-RIDDEN.
MY CLOTHES ARE FALLING OFF.
John H.: BUSTODIAN ABOUT TO OFFER
DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN A BUS DUSTING.
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE.
John H.: SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GET THE LEAD OUT.
AND IT'S CRUDE DUDE WHO BARRELS ONTO THE FINISH PLATFORM.
John A.: THAT PUMPED UP POOPER SCOOPER.
LOOK AT THAT MOVEMENT. SOLID.
John H.: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
THE POOPER SCOOPER.
AND THAT DOG WILL HAVE HIS DAY IN THE NEXT ROUND.
AND JUST THAT QUICKLY, ONLY TWO SPOTS REMAIN.
NUMBER ONE AT NUMBER TWO COUNTING ON ONE OF THEM.
OH!
OUTNUMBERED BY OLLY'S ARM.
UNDERTAKER, IT'S A BURIAL AT SEA.
RATNIP'S SCURRYING OVER TO THE PLATFORM.
LANDS IT!
OH, NO, HE'S GOT HIS HANDS IN THE RAT'S NEST!
GET OUT OF THERE, MAN!
OH!
OH, HE ALMOST HAD IT.
SO CLOSE.
John A.: ROACH POACHER IN POSITION,
BUT NOT WILLING TO TAKE THE BAIT.
RAUNCH HAND CALLING THE COWS HOME.
ON THE PLATFORM. PUNCH THAT DOGGIE!
COME ON, RAUNCHY.
YOU JUST GOT TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
I STINK I CAN. I STINK I CAN.
AND YES!
HOW 'BOUT THEM HORSE APPLES?
THE RAUNCH HAND JOINING OUR STABLE OF SIX IN THE NEXT ROUND.
YOU'RE AWESOME, MAN!
WHOO!
STILL GOT ONE SPOT LEFT,
AND LOOK WHO'S STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT.
John H.: BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE INSECTICIDE.
THE ROACH POACHER TAKES THE LAST SPOT.
THAT'S ONE FOR THE DIRTY BOOKS, JOHNNY.
AND FOR OUR TOP SIX, THE DIRTY DAY GOES ON.
John H.: DON'T WORRY, NICK.
YOU'RE STILL ACES AT DEUCES.
All: WHOO!
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT PAYS TO BE DIRTY!
HEY, CAN I PAY SOMEONE TO CLEAN MY TANK?
HUH? MAYBE THAT DAWN GIRL?
Dawn: WHA-HOO!
John A.: A LOOK AT THOSE ADVANCING TO THE NEXT ROUND.
WE FIND THE BUSTODIAN, TORY BRYANT,
DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN KLARICH...
Dawn: YOU BOYS HAVE SOME DIRTY MINDS!
...THE CRUDE DUDE, DAVID CRAIG,
POOPER SCOOPER SHAWN BEKIR...
Shawn: THIS IS FOR ALL MY DOGS AT THE SHELTER!
...THE RAUNCH HAND, JENNIFER KUSSMAN,
AND ROACH POACHER DOUG GROVER.
John H.: STICK AROUND.
WE GOT MORE WIPEOUTS AHEAD
TO GIVE OUR DIRTY-JOBBERS A VERY DEEP CLEANSE.
♪♪
MOMENTOUS DAY HERE ON "WIPEOUT," JOHNNY.
FIRST-EVER "DIRTY JOBS" EPISODE OF THE SHOW.
WHAT WAS THE DIRTIEST JOB YOU EVER HAD?
OH, THAT'S EASY.
GIVING PEDICURES AT THE SILVER FOX SENIOR CENTER.
OH, THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE.
HOW WAS THE PAY?
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT A GOOD DEED IS ITS OWN REWARD.
PLUS, I GOT TO KEEP THE TOENAILS.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOMEMADE TRAIL MIX?
I'M NOT GOING DOWN THAT PATH TODAY.
THANKS.
WE STARTED WITH A REPULSIVE FIELD OF 24 CONTESTANTS.
AND SCRUB AS WE MIGHT,
SIX HAVE HUNG ON LIKE A MYSTERIOUS FUNGUS.
STILL IN THE RUNNING FOR THE $50,000 PRIZE
ARE THE BUSTODIAN, TORY BRYANT...
Tory: WHEN I CLEAN BUSES [BLEEP]
...DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN KLARICH,
AND CRUDE DUDE DAVID CRAIG.
DON'T FORGET THE POOPER SCOOPER, SHAWN BEKIR,
RAUNCH HAND JENNIFER KUSSMAN,
AND OUR ROACH POACHER, DOUG GROVER.
Doug: SPRAYING THOSE BUGS!
GOOD THING OUR DIRTY-JOBBERS
ARE USED TO WORKING IN EXTREME CONDITIONS, JOHNNY,
BECAUSE TODAY,
THEY FIND THEMSELVES IN THE MIDST OF A DOWNPOUR.
WOW. EVEN MOTHER NATURE
THINKS THESE PEOPLE NEED A POWER WASH.
JUST EMBRACE THIS PART OF THE WHOLE SEATTLE FEEL
OF OUR NEXT OBSTACLE.
FOR DIRTY JOBS, WE'RE GOING DEEP INTO GRUNGE.
OUR CONTESTANTS COME AS THEY ARE,
STONE TEMPLE PILOTING ACROSS OUR PERCUSSION SECTION
BEFORE DRUMSTICKING IT TO THE MAN
AS THEY RIDE TO THE SECOND PLATFORM.
FROM THERE, IT'S A MOSH ACROSS OUR KEYBOARD.
WATCH OUT FOR THOSE GRUNGE FANS.
THEY ARE LOOKING TO PICK YOU OFF,
KNOCK YOU INTO THE SOUNDGARDEN.
FINALLY, JUMP RADIOHEAD-FIRST
THROUGH OUR GUITAR AND MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE.
THE FIRST THREE CONTESTANTS TO FOO FIGHT THEIR WAY
TO THE FINISH PLATFORM WILL EXPERIENCE NIRVANA --
ALSO KNOWN AS THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
OH, THAT'S FUNNY 'CAUSE YOU SAID A LOT OF BAND NAMES.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SIX WILL BEGIN,
BUT ONLY THREE CAN LEAVE GRUNGE BEHIND
AND MOVE AHEAD.
I LOVE THE SMELL OF TEEN SPIRIT IN THE MORNING, JOHN.
IT SMELLS LIKE... PEPPERONI AND CHLORINE.
THEY WERE AWKWARD YEARS FOR ALL OF US, BUDDY --
EXCEPT MAYBE JILL WAGNER, WHO'S DOWN ON THE COURSE.
YOU GUYS SMELL THAT?
SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT.
THAT'S LIQUID TEEN SPIRIT.
WE HAD IT BOTTLED UP AND SHIPPED DOWN FROM SEATTLE.
OUR CONTESTANTS IN POSITION.
JILL, SAVE ME A SPOT.
ROACH POACHER ACTING LIKE A LOUSE.
HE'S GOT LONG-TERM INFESTMENT PLANS.
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, HERE WE ARE NOW.
ENTERTAIN US.
AND THEY'RE OFF.
THE CRUDE DUDE ALWAYS COMFORTABLE ON A PLATFORM.
ROACH POACHER FOLLOWS BUSTODIAN INTO THE LOADING ZONE.
CRUDE DUDE...
...GETS DRILLED.
ROACH POACHER HOLDING ON WITH ALL HIS TERMITE.
LITTLE ANTSY ON THE DISMOUNT.
AND HE GETS SPRAYED.
BATTLING THE ELEMENTS, TOO, JOHNNY.
RAIN FALLING PRETTY STEADY.
JILL, HOW'S THE WEATHER DOWN THERE?
HOW'S THE WEATHER? HOW DOES IT LOOK?
CONDITIONS LOOKING GRUNGY.
BUSTODIAN NOT HANDLING WELL AROUND CORNERS.
THE ROACH POACHER FLEAS THE COMPETITION.
OH! HE BUGS OUT.
BUSTODIAN JUMPS.
HE'S HANDY WITH A BRUSH.
OH, BUT POOPER SCOOPER IGNORES THE OCCUPIED SIGN.
BUSTODIAN HITS THE BRAKES.
POOPER SCOOPER GETS SQUAT.
THIS IS LIKE TORTURE.
NO, JILL.
TORTURE WOULD BE RUNNING AN OBSTACLE COURSE
IN THE FREEZING RAIN WHILE PEOPLE HOSE YOU DOWN
AND THROW THINGS AT YOUR HEAD.
SPEAKING HYPOTHETICALLY.
OVER ON THE DRUMS,
THE RAUNCH HAND GOES AT IT FROM BEHIND.
GETS SOME TROUGH LOVE.
MEANWHILE, THE BUSTODIAN IS ON TO THE GUITAR.
HE'S AN EXPRESS BUS BOUND FOR GLORY.
TAKES IT TO THE BRIDGE.
OH!
OH! AN UNSCHEDULED STOP.
WHEN YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE CLEANING BUS LAVATORIES,
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO STOP AND SMELL THE PLATFORM.
DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN JUMPS.
AND SHE FRENCH MADE IT.
SHE'S STARTING TO CLEAN UP IN A DIRTY WAY.
YAY, ME!
CRUDE DUDE JUMPS ON THE RIG.
RAUNCH HAND RIDING SIDESADDLE.
TWO ON A DRUMSTICK?
SOUNDS LIKE DATE NIGHT AT CASA HENSON.
DOUBLE DISMOUNT.
OH!
THE RAUNCH HAND CAN'T GET IT DONE.
THAT MEANS THE BUSTODIAN HAS ANOTHER CHANCE
TO CLEAN THE HEAD.
I MEAN GET AHEAD.
HE RUNS, THROUGH THE HOLE...
UGH, IN THE BOWL.
NO.
POOPER SCOOPER BRINGING UP THE REAR.
OH, BOY.
HERE COMES THE CRUDE DUDE GLIDING ACROSS THE KEYS,
HOLDING THAT PLATFORM.
THAT WAS FAST.
WHILE HE PAUSES TO REFUEL,
MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE CAN CATCH UP.
COULD BE DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN.
SHE'S HAVING TROUBLE
WITH THAT GREASY LIQUID TEEN SPIRIT, THOUGH.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, JOHN --
GREASE KEEPS DAWN OUT OF YOUR WAY.
CRUDE DUDE COULD DO IT NOW.
OH!
FAMOUS LAST WORDS OF THE EXXON VALDEZ.
WAY BACK AT THE START OF THE COURSE...
JILL, I'M COMING.
REALLY?
ABOUT A DROP OF IT LEFT.
THE GUY GAVE YOU A COCKROACH, JILL.
IN SOME CULTURES, YOU'RE MARRIED NOW.
IF HE WANTS TO WIN JILL'S HEART,
HE IS GONNA HAVE TO PASS THE BUSTODIAN.
HE WAS THE FIRST TO THE GUITAR,
BUT HE'S BEEN STUCK IN NEUTRAL EVER SINCE.
NOW HE'S STUCK IN THE SOUND HOLE.
COME ON, GUYS!
COME ON, DUDE. FLOOR IT.
HE STALLED.
[ LAUGHS ]
I CAN'T SEE THAT WELL.
NORMALLY, I WEAR GLASSES.
SOUNDS LIKE DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN COULD USE AN EYE WASH.
THERE YOU GO.
GREAT, NOW SHE'S LEGALLY BLIND.
I GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS.
OH!
WAIT. WHAT'S THIS?
HERE COMES THE ROACH POACHER.
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE'D BE BACK IN THE GAME?
NOT JILL, APPARENTLY.
CRUDE DUDE JUMPS.
GOT IT -- OH!
VISCOSITY BREAKDOWN.
AMAZING.
ROACH POACHER NOW HAS REACHED THE GUITAR.
COULD POOPER SCOOPER PICK UP THE WIN,
OR CAN ROACH POACHER PULL THE UPSET?
HE GETS CURBED.
AND THAT MEANS THE ROACH POACHER
COULD BE THE FIRST TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
SPRINTING THROUGH THE HOLE.
WHOO!
THE WIPEOUT ZONE JUST BECAME A ROACH-POACHER MOTEL.
WHOO! GOOD JOB, DOUG.
BUSTODIAN TAKES OFF LIKE A GREYHOUND.
THROWN UNDER THE BUS.
THAT BRIGHTENS THE PROSPECTS FOR THE CRUDE DUDE.
RUNNING, JUMPING...THE CRUDE DUDE IS ALSO MOVING ON.
ONE SPOT LEFT, GUYS!
John A.: PRESSURE IS REALLY ON THE LADIES NOW, JOHNNY.
RAUNCH HAND TAKING THE REINS, GALLOPS AHEAD.
OOH.
SHE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT.
DOUBLE DIRTY DAWN IS UP.
Man: MAKE IT HAPPEN!
John A.: DIVING.
AH!
LOWERS HER STANDARDS AGAIN.
STILL ONE SPOT LEFT.
BUSTODIAN DYING TO REACH HIS DESTINATION.
ONLY POOPER SCOOPER STANDS IN HIS WAY.
ONE SPOT, AND IT'S ME.
John A.: POOPER SCOOPER WANTS TO BE
THE PICK OF THE LITTER.
OH, SHOT TO THE HUSH PUPPIES.
BUT HE STAYS ON THE PLATFORM.
YEAH!
PUT DOWN SOME NEWSPAPER IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE
BECAUSE HERE COMES THE POOPER SCOOPER.
YEAH! "WIPEOUT," BABY!
ALL OF OUR DIRTY WOMEN
ARE WIPED CLEAN OUT OF THE COMPETITION.
JILL MUST BE SO DISAPPOINTED.
♪ IT'S AN ALL-MALE WIPEOUT ZONE ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! ♪
John A.: HEADED INTO THE ZONE TONIGHT
WILL BE THE ROACH POACHER, DOUG GROVER,
CRUDE DUDE DAVID CRAIG,
AND OUR POOPER SCOOPER, SHAWN BEKIR.
STICK AROUND.
ONE OF OUR DIRTY-JOBBERS
IS ABOUT TO GET FILTHY RICH IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
♪♪
WELCOME BACK FOR THE EXCITING FINISH OF "WIPEOUT."
WE HAVE SPENT THE DAY CELEBRATING FOLKS
WITH THE DIRTIEST JOBS IN AMERICA.
THAT'S RIGHT, AND IT'S GONNA BE A $50,000 PAYDAY
FOR ONE OF THEM.
BUT FIRST, THEY'LL HAVE TO CLEAN UP IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
IT ALL STARTS WITH A SHORT, SOILING LAUNCH
FROM THE SCARE CHAIR.
AND WHAT GOES UP 30 FEET MUST COME DOWN 30 FEET.
THEN IT'S ON TO THE BLOCKBUSTER.
THEY'LL HAVE TO NAVIGATE A COURSE
THROUGH THESE TWISTING, TURNING, AND TUMBLING BLOCKS.
NEXT, IT'S THE SPACE POD OF DOOM.
HANG ON TO YOUR EQUILIBRIUM -- AND LUNCH --
TO MAKE A CLEAN EXIT
'CAUSE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE, EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.
FINALLY, THE BOUNDER POUNDER.
TIME YOUR JUMPS RIGHT OVER THESE ROTATING TRAMPOLINES
OR YOU ARE BOUND TO GET POUNDED.
THE FINAL THREE COMPETING TONIGHT
ARE THE POOPER SCOOPER, SHAWN BEKIR,
CRUDE DUDE DAVID CRAIG,
AND OUR ROACH POACHER, DOUG GROVER.
FIRST TO ASSUME THE POSITION IS THE POOPER SCOOPER.
YEAH. YEAH.
HERE'S THE SCOOP ON HIS DAY TO THIS POINT.
I GET THAT POOP OUT OF THE KENNEL!
SHAWN BEKIR DIDN'T DOG IT ON OUR QUALIFIER THIS MORNING
AS HE CAME IN WITH A RESPECTABLE TIME.
HE CLEANED UP AFTER OCTOPUSHY,
THEN CLAIMED THE FINAL SPOT ON "WIPEOUT'S" GREATEST HITS.
SHAWN'S BEEN A SOLID COMPETITOR ALL DAY,
BUT IF HE WANTS TO TAKE HOME THE $50,000,
HE'LL NEED TO WASTE THE COMPETITION IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
GET A LOAD OF THIS, JOHNNY --
THE WIPEOUT ZONE IN ALL ITS TERRIFYING GLORY.
POOPER SCOOPER IN THE SCARE CHAIR AND READY TO FIRE OFF.
HOPEFULLY, HE DOESN'T MAKE A MESS.
YOU KNOW, NORMALLY, HE'S NOT ALLOWED UP ON THE FURNITURE.
[ BEEPING ]
WHOO!
YES, HE KENNEL.
TAKE A LOOK.
HE'S GOT NICE FORM IN THE AIR,
BUT HE DOESN'T GET QUITE ENOUGH ROTATION.
ENDS UP DOING A FACE-PLANT INTO THE WATER.
SURVIVES THAT AND HUSTLES RIGHT UP THE BLOCKBUSTER.
AND THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY COLOSSAL OBSTACLE
SO TOUGH TO CONQUER THAT ONCE CONTESTANTS HAVE ATTEMPTED IT,
THEY CAN OPT TO TAKE A TIME PENALTY AND MOVE ON.
WASTING NO TIME VENTURING OUT
ONTO THOSE TIPPY BLOCKS THAT GIVE THIS OBSTACLE ITS NAME.
SO TOUGH TO MAINTAIN YOUR BALANCE
AS YOU MOVE FROM ONE ROCKING BLOCK TO THE NEXT.
FLOPS DOWN ONTO THAT FINAL BLOCK
AND LANDS IT ON HIS FIRST ATTEMPT!
THAT IS IMPRESSIVE!
A FANTASTIC OPENING 90 SECONDS.
NOW THE SPACE POD OF DOOM.
IT'S CHILLY.
YEAH, IT'S A BRISK NIGHT OUT THERE.
YOU CAN SEE HIS BREATH
AS HE TAKES A MOMENT TO COLLECT HIMSELF.
POOPER SCOOPER EAGERLY STEPS INTO THE SPACE POD NOW.
GOING THROUGH THE SPIN CYCLE. OH.
SLIDING AT THE MERCY OF THE POD.
AAH!
OH, JUST A STEP TOO LATE.
GONER.
HE ONLY MANAGES TO GET ONE FOOT DOWN,
AND POOPER SCOOPER PLOPS INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE WASH.
SHAKES OFF THE FRIGID WATER.
NO GOOD.
REMINDS ME OF MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER.
COME ON.
SHAWN'S TIME IN REALLY NICE SHAPE,
BUT HE'S GOT TO KEEP PUSHING THE PACE.
BACK IN THE POD AND GOING HANDS AND KNEES
IN AN EFFORT TO STAY BALANCED.
SHIFTS ONTO HIS BUTT. OH, NO!
THAT'S MORE EJECTION THAN EXIT, JOHNNY.
THAT FLAWLESS FIRST OBSTACLE -- HE'S WASTING IT.
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.
IN FOR HIS THIRD ATTEMPT.
THIS OBSTACLE CAN BE SO FRUSTRATING,
BUT HE'S MAKING PROGRESS.
YES! DROPPING ONTO ALL FOURS ON THE PLATFORM.
AND NOW IT'S A SHOWDOWN WITH BOUNDER POUNDER.
AND WHAT TO EXPECT HERE?
FIRST OBSTACLE SUCCESS, BUT SECOND OBSTACLE STRUGGLES.
STILL KEEPING A SOLID PACE SO FAR.
OH!
OH, BUT HE SLIDES RIGHT OFF THE PLATFORM
AND ONTO THE SECOND ***.
GOT TO BE QUICK.
GOT TO BE CAREFUL, THOUGH, TOO.
NEEDS TO WRAP UP THIS RUN SOON
IF HE WANTS A SHOT AT THE CASH.
OH! HELD IT DOWN THIS TIME.
JUST BARELY GOT ENOUGH OF THE PLATFORM TO STAY UP.
NOW ONE *** REMAINS.
BINGO.
POOPER SCOOPER UNLEASHING A TIME OF 7:57.
THAT'S "WIPEOUT," BABY! THAT'S "WIPEOUT!"
FOR ALL MY DOGS. MWAH! MWAH!
SENDING OUT SOME PUPPY LOVE.
THE POOPER SCOOPER LAYING DOWN A SOLID OPENING TIME.
NEXT UP TO TRY AND STRIKE IT RICH...
THIS IS VERY INTIMIDATING.
...CRUDE DUDE DAVID CRAIG.
IT'S RATHER SCARY.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HIS DAY.
OH, MAN.
EUREKA!
DAVID CRAIG HARDLY SEEMED ANOINTED FOR GREAT THINGS
AS HE FINISHED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK
IN THE QUALIFIER.
HE LOOKED A QUART LOW IN THE NEXT TWO ROUNDS
WITH MIDDLING FINISHES ON BOTH OCTOPUSHY
AND "WIPEOUT'S" GREATEST HITS.
WITH 50 GRAND ON THE LINE,
THE CRUDE DUDE HOPING HIS TALENT WELL
HASN'T RUN DRY
AND A FIRST-PLACE FINISH IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE AWAITS.
TIME TO GREASE THE SKIDS HERE FOR THE SCARE CHAIR.
I CAN DO THIS.
A HAIL OF SPARKS TO SIGNAL A COUNTDOWN TO LAUNCH.
THE OIL BOOM IS ABOUT TO BEGIN, JOHNNY.
[ BEEPING ]
AND WE ARE OFF.
WHOO-HOO-HOO.
YEAH, THE CRUDE DUDE SHOOTS INTO THE AIR
LIKE OLD FAITHFUL, JOHN.
THAT'S A 30-FOOT HUMAN GEYSER.
CHECK IT OUT.
APPARENTLY, OIL AND WATER DO MIX.
DAVID ALREADY UP AND READY
TO OPEN A 55-GALLON DRUM OF AWESOME ON BLOCKBUSTER.
OH, BOY.
BOTH CONTESTANTS AND BLOCKS A LITTLE WOBBLY, JOHN,
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE.
HELPS TO BE COORDINATED AND A QUICK STUDY.
PULLING HIMSELF UP THERE.
MANAGES TO KEEP HIMSELF UP ON THE BLOCKS.
READY TO DROP DOWN TO THAT LAST BOTTOM BLOCK
AND PROPEL HIMSELF ACROSS.
COULD WE HAVE TWO CONTESTANTS
CONQUER THE BLOCKBUSTER ON THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT?
OH, NO.
THE BLOCK DROPS OUT FROM UNDER HIM,
AND RIGHT AS HE TRIES TO PLANT, HE GETS NO LEVERAGE.
AND THAT MEANS NO LANDING.
SECOND TRY, AND WE'LL SEE NOW IF HE LEARNED HIS LESSON.
CRUDE DUDE ALREADY GIVING AWAY TWO MINUTES TO OUR LEADER,
THE POOPER SCOOPER.
STILL PLENTY OF COURSE AHEAD OF HIM TO MAKE UP THE TIME,
BUT FIRST ON THE AGENDA -- GETTING THROUGH THE BLOCKBUSTER.
DROPPING DOWN INTO THAT POSITION AGAIN FOR THE FINAL JUMP.
YES!
AND CRUDE DUDE IS THROUGH THE BLOCKBUSTER.
VERY GOOD WORK NOT TO LOSE ANY MORE TIME.
TWO MINUTES BEHIND.
SPACE POD OF DOOM AHEAD.
THIS IS WHERE POOPER SCOOPER REALLY STRUGGLED.
SO, IF CRUDE DUDE CAN MINIMIZE HIS WIPEOUTS HERE,
HE COULD REALLY MAKE UP SOME TIME.
WOW. AN EXPERT EXIT.
CRUDE DUDE NOW UP BY THREE MINUTES.
BUT HE STILL HAS TO FACE THE BOUNDER POUNDER.
NO REST FOR THE WEARY HERE.
OH!
HE RUSHED IT, AND CRUDE DUDE COULDN'T LAND THE PLATFORM.
SPENT A MINUTE OF HIS LEAD ON THAT WIPEOUT.
STILL IN GOOD SHAPE,
BUT A SECOND FALL WOULD DO SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE --
OH, BOY.
YES!
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S MY BOY. THAT'S MY BOY.
John A.: POOPER SCOOPER ECSTATIC
TO TAKE A FEW MORE SECONDS BACK.
CRUDE DUDE BRINGING IT RIGHT BACK IN THE GAME NOW, JOHNNY.
GONNA BE A WIRE SHOT. DOWN TO 40 SECONDS.
LANDS THE FIRST JUMP.
ONE MORE GOOD ONE GIVES HIM THE LEAD.
GOT TO GET CRACKING HERE.
John H.: THIS IS IT.
YES, HE IS ON HIS FEET...
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
...WITH A TIME OF 7:27.
WHOO!
CRUDE DUDE STAKING HIS CLAIM TO THE CASH,
AND HE TAKES THE LEAD BY 30 SECONDS.
BUT UP NEXT, THE ROACH POACHER READY TO GO GREEN
AND STEAL AWAY THAT 50 GRAND.
YOU STAY RIGHT THERE, AMERICA.
♪♪
WE ARE BACK, AMERICA.
GO AHEAD AND FIND THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT
FOR THE FINAL RUN OF OUR FIRST-EVER
"DIRTY JOBS" EPISODE OF "WIPEOUT."
YEAH, WE WOULDN'T BE DOING OUR JOBS
IF WE DIDN'T GIVE ONE OF THESE GUYS A FILTHY 50 GRAND.
THE POOPER SCOOPER WAS DISPOSED OF BY THE CRUDE DUDE,
WHO'S HOPING HIS RUN IS GONNA HELP HIM STRIKE IT RICH.
NEXT TO TAKE A WHACK AT THE ZONE, THE ROACH POACHER.
LET'S GO.
HERE'S HOW HIS DAY'S GONE.
AAH!
DOUG GROVER NEARLY EXTERMINATED HIMSELF FROM THE COMPETITION
WITH A POOR RUN ON THIS MORNING'S QUALIFIER.
THE LAST TO MAKE THE CUT ON OCTOPUSHY,
BUT SURPRISED EVERYONE BY FINISHING FIRST
ON "WIPEOUT'S" GREATEST HITS.
THAT COULD BE THE SHOT IN THE ARM
THIS ROACH POACHER NEEDS
AS HE LOOKS TO CONTROL THE BIGGEST PEST OF ALL,
THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
ALL RIGHT, BACK OUT ONTO THE COURSE
AS THE SCARE CHAIR CHARGES UP FOR ONE FINAL FLING.
CRUDE DUDE HOLDS THE LEAD WITH A TIME OF 7 1/2 MINUTES.
ROACH POACHER READY TO CHASE IT DOWN.
FIRE WHEN READY.
HERE WE GO.
DOUG GETTING THE HEAVE HO.
WHOO!
TURNS OVER, AND 30 FEET OF FORCE ON HIS FACE.
YEAH, OUR ROACH POACHER GETS A BLAST OF WATER
TO HIS EXOSKELETON.
PICK HIM UP OVER AT BLOCKBUSTER.
BIG THING ON THE SCREEN, OBSTACLE.
LITTLE THING ON THE LEFT, CONTESTANT.
OH, CLOSE RIGHT THERE.
YES.
John H.: YEAH, THOSE BLOCKS ARE --
OH, I WAS GONNA SAY ICY,
BUT I THINK THE ROACH POACHER JUST FOUND OUT FOR HIMSELF.
JOHNNY, THE RACE DOESN'T REALLY BEGIN OUT HERE
UNTIL THE FIRST WIPEOUT.
SO, NOW WE CAN START WATCHING THAT CLOCK.
SECOND ATTEMPT, ROACH POACHER RUNNING EVEN UP
WITH CRUDE DUDE'S TIME.
NEEDS TO AVOID A WIPEOUT ON THIS ATTEMPT
IF HE WANTS TO STAY ON PACE.
OOH, A LITTLE TROUBLE.
[ GASPS ]
John A.: JILL'S CERTAINLY ON EDGE,
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S RECOVERED.
STEADYING HIMSELF.
John H.: LOOK AT THAT VIEW.
LONG WAY DOWN, MY FRIEND.
STILL WITH PLENTY OF WORK TO DO.
TWO BLOCKS FROM HOME.
WHOA! GOT TURNED AROUND AND NEARLY LOST IT.
MIRACULOUSLY, HE STAYED ON THAT BLOCK.
NOW IN GREAT POSITION.
HE FALLS OFF THE PLATFORM.
UNBELIEVABLE.
SO CLOSE. WHAT A HEARTBREAK.
ROACH POACHER GOT A HUGE LUCKY BREAK
AND THEN FAILED TO CAPITALIZE ON IT.
AND HE IS HEADING FORWARD NOW INSTEAD OF BACK.
Jill: THIS IS GREAT FOR YOU.
HE'S TAKING A LOT OF TIME.
YEP, AND AS WE MENTIONED BEFORE,
WITH AN OBSTACLE THIS DIFFICULT,
CONTESTANTS HAVE THE OPTION TO MOVE ON
ONCE THEY'VE ATTEMPTED IT.
COST THEM A TIME PENALTY,
SAVES THEM SOME OXYGEN.
YEAH, TOUGH BREAK, JOHN.
HE ALMOST CRACKED THE CODE ON BLOCKBUSTER.
BUT WITH THE PENALTY, HE'S GOT SOME CATCHING UP TO DO.
HOPEFULLY, THE SECOND HALF OF THIS COURSE IS EASIER FOR HIM.
HANDS ON HIPS IS NOT CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE
AS HE'S HEADED TO SPACE POD OF DOOM.
NEEDS TO DECIPHER THIS BEAUTY IN A HURRY.
5 1/2 MINUTES RUNNING TIME.
THAT'S A MINUTE AND A HALF OFF THE LEAD.
TWO OBSTACLES TO GO.
DOUG DUCKS INTO THE POD.
NO, HE'S OUT WAY EARLY.
YEAH, CHECK IT OUT.
HE FINDS THE EXIT ALL RIGHT, BUT THEN HE FINDS THE WATER.
AND THAT WIPEOUT ERASES HIS MARGIN OF ERROR COMPLETELY.
HE CANNOT AFFORD ANOTHER FALL.
AND HE'S GOT TO BE REALLY FAST ON TOP OF THAT.
LESS THAN A MINUTE TO FINISH THE COURSE.
NOT IMPOSSIBLE, BUT DEFINITELY A TALL ORDER.
LOOKING MORE STEADY IN THE POD THIS TIME.
ROACH POACHER HASN'T BEEN EXTERMINATED YET.
NO.
GOES TO THE BOUNDER POUNDER WITH A CHANCE.
ONE CHANCE.
THE CLOCK DYING IN A HURRY HERE.
STEPPING UP TO THE CHALLENGE.
20 SECONDS, 2 TRAMPS TO GO.
OKAY, HE'S GOT TO MAKE THIS.
THE LAST OF THE DIRTY DEEDS.
I HOPE HE FALLS.
John A.: ROACH POACHER JUMPS.
OH!
AND HE GETS SQUASHED.
John H.: CRUDE DUDE IS LOVING IT.
THE ROACH POACHER WENT FOR IT BUT COMES UP $50,000 SHORT.
NO TIME LEFT FOR HIM TO MAKE ANOTHER ATTEMPT.
THERE'S THE HORN.
IT'S OVER, WHICH MEANS...
WHOO-HOO!
YOU JUST WON $50,000!
MAMA, I'M BRINGING YOU SOME NEW SHOES.
WE'RE GOING SHOPPING.
CAN I HAVE SOME, TOO?
I'LL GET YOU SHOES, TOO.
WHOO-HOO!
YES! THAT'S AWESOME!
SO, THE CRUDE DUDE STRIKES THE MOTHER LODE, JOHNNY,
AND TAKES HOME THE BIG PRIZE.
TALK ABOUT SMELLING LIKE MONEY.
THAT GUY REEKS OF IT -- LITERALLY.
THAT'S GONNA WRAP UP OUR DIRTY DAY.
LOOK FOR US HERE NEXT TIME WHEN 24 NEW CONTESTANTS
TAKE ON THE CHALLENGE OF OUR OUTRAGEOUS OBSTACLE COURSE.
UNTIL THEN, I'M JOHN ANDERSON.
AND FOR OUR CO-HOST, JILL WAGNER,
I'M JOHN HENSON SAYING, "GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS."
AAH!
NO!
♪♪
OH, HELLO.
♪♪
THIS IS WHY I LOVE MY JOB, BY THE WAY. THIS IS IT.