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This programme contains
strong language
and some scenes of a *** nature
I'm not supposed to tell you,
but her aunt died.
That's why
she's over.
Frankie, stop! I said stop!
Tom, this is Tess.
Tess is an old school friend.
It's her first time with a woman.
She's bound to be a bit anxious.
Aunt Carol wanted to tell me
something before she died.
If she had anything to say to you,
she'd have told me.
No, wait!
I just want to talk to you!
It's for Becky.
It's our
two-year anniversary tomorrow.
I'm Sadie, by the way.
Frankie.
A necklace doesn't just go
walkabout.
Who the hell
could have taken it?
What time did you get in last night?
It must have been aboutten-ish.
It was about three, wasn't it?
I feel like ***.
Well, I'm on earlies from tomorrow,
so I'll stay at my place tonight.
Don't do that, babe.
I feel like
I've hardly seen you lately.
Funny that, isn't it? >
Is that a new top? Yeah.
I got it to go with my necklace.
I'll see you later.
WOMAN MOANS
You do think they're
noises of ecstasy, don't you?
I'd feel terrible if we
found Tess bludgeoned to death.
It'd scupper my chances of
promotion, for a start.
I'm going to be late if I don't
get a move on.
***, I am so
under-prepared.
How can you say that? You've
been working on this for ages.
You are so talented, just
give yourself a bit of credit.
Morning!
How come you're up so early?
Embracing the day.
Isn't it gorgeous?
And that's all, is it? Just your
innate *** for life.
Lou stayed
over last night.
She didn't?(!) We always stay at
hers.
I think it's a real
breakthrough, don't you? Huge.
You're going to be adopting orphans
next.
Does Lou want a cuppa?
I'll just go and ask her.
It's like living with a toddler.
Who has lots of noisy sex.
What's with all the photography CVs?
We're looking for someone to
do the new brochure at work.
Come off it!
Why not?!
Aside from the glaringly obvious
issue of you and Cat, it's hardly
New York avant-garde is it?
Anyway, I thought you wanted to
get back there as soon as possible.
Yeah, all right, I get the hint.
What day is it today?
Please don't say it's Tuesday
Tuesday.
***! ***!
The elevation plans are
complete, which my colleague
Jay will show you when he gets here.
He shouldn't be too long.
Here's your Cassidy and Moore notes.
They're waiting in there.
I'll take these.
Thanks.
You're a darling.
I'd tuck your shirt
in too, if I were you.
DOOR OPENS
I'm so sorry.
Why don't you just take a seat and
then we can get started.
Unforeseen disaster, I'm afraid.
One of the children
It was amazing!
Went out, came back to mine early,
went to bed, and then she did the
All right, we get the picture.
The royal visit.
So did Cat get her
best china out, then?
Oh, we didn't see her.
She was in
bed with Sam when we got in.
Is that still on, is it? Yeah.
I've got high hopes, actually.
She's great, isn't she?
Yeah, she's all right.
You hate her.
I do not! Yes, you do.
That's your hating someone face.
It isn't, stop ***-stirring!
She's fine.
I just think three's
a crowd in that flat, that's all.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I can't put anything down
without Cat sweeping it
away five seconds later.
She's like a bloody whirling
dervish.
Watch it, that's my sister
you're *** about.
I'm not slagging her off.
I'm just pointing out that she's
very tidy.
It's a compliment.
Well, why don't we
get somewhere together?
Are you staying? I thought I might
stick around for a while.
Great! It'll be just
like the old days.
And I might get to see
Lou Foster in the buff.
Er, no, there will be no
funny business like that.
Ground rule number one.
Come on, share and share alike!
No!
Anyway
Yeah, I should be going.
Where are you going?
I have things to see, people to do.
Can't sit around
here all day, can we?
Well, that went OK, didn't it?
Save it, Jay.
Come on, there's no harm done.
You don't think it looks just a
teeny bit bad to potential clients?
I've worked my *** off to get them
in a room with us and you keep them
waiting 45 minutes!
They were fine about it,
when I mentioned the kids!
Which you might have got away with
if you hadn't smelt like a brewery.
I'm sorry.
I was out with Frankie last night.
It won't happen again.
Too bloody right.
You knew how important this was.
Hey.
How did it go with Cassidy and
Moore? Good.
Really well, I think.
Oh, yeah, it's in the bag.
Excellent.
Are you OK, Cat? Yeah, why?
You just look a little worn out,
that's all.
I'm fine.
Can I borrow you for
a few minutes? There's
someone I'd like you to meet.
Wonderful portfolio.
Very edgy.
I think she'll do an
excellent job.
Can she start straight away?
Yeah.
She's terribly enthusiastic.
Cat, this is Frankie.
Frankie'll be doing the
photos for our new brochure.
Hi, Cat.
Hi.
I thought it'd be a good idea if
you were to take Frankie on to site
this afternoon.
Maybe you could familiarise
yourself with our latest projects.
Can't wait.
Excellent.
PHONE RINGS
Good morning, Stenbridge Insurance.
Joe Klein? Certainly, sir.
Can I ask who's calling?
Please hold on a second, Mr Simpson.
Just putting you through now.
It's not a problem.
So how do you fancy
having a wee go by yourself?
I think I'm ready.
Super.
Now, we won't do a live call
just yet, OK?
So let's do a dry run first, shall
we? Yeah.
Best be on the safe side.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Bring-bring, bring-bring.
Hello, Stenbridge Insurance.
It's "good morning, good afternoon
and good evening," OK? Not "Hello".
Sorry.
It's not a problem, go again.
Um, good morning, good afternoon or
good evening.
Exactly.
OK.
Bring-bring, bring-bring.
Good morning, good afternoon.
Oh, ***.
Ah, sorry.
Shall we go from the top?
(Hey, thank you for earlier.
You're a bloody life-saver.
)
No worries.
You're looking a bit better now.
Was I that rough?
Not your usual debonair self,
let's put it that way.
I don't know if debonair's
the right description.
What are you playing at?!
What?
Frankie, our new photographer.
I assume you put her forward?
No! Oh, come off it, Jay.
How else did she find out about
the job?
I ***, ***.
She saw the CVs.
I warned her
not to even think about it.
If she's been hired,
it's over my head.
Well, I'm not going to rise to it.
I'm going to be totally professional,
I'm just going to do my job.
Gosh, it's very open, isn't it?
Sorry.
Do I sound like an idiot?
It's just,
I've never been in a gay bar before.
Well, I have been in a gay bar,
just not like this.
Not as aa
Gay woman? Aye.
Is this hidden enough? There's a
broom cupboard over there if you
feel too exposed.
Sorry.
Look,
I know this is a big deal for you.
Don't be.
It's just a bar.
I'm fine, really.
You're not freaking out?
Maybe just a little bit.
Is that OK?
Course.
I just thought
you'd be curious
to see what dens of iniquity
me and my sort fraternise in.
We can absolutely go somewhere else.
No, no! No, I like it.
I do.
Watch it.
That was very nearly
a public display of affection.
When in Rome
Sorry I'm late.
I had to get out for a bit.
I don't know how you stand it
being cooped up in there all day.
It's called having a job.
Yeah.
He's a peculiar specimen,
Alistair, isn't he?
Are you up to speed with what
we're doing this afternoon?
You point, I click.
Any questions?
Things you need to know?
I'm used to working with
hysterical art directors,
I can manage a cavity wall
and some concrete flooring.
CAMERA WHIRS AND CLICKS
You've done a brilliant job.
It looks great.
We've exploited the vernacular
window proportions with balconies to
the courtyard,
so we need images of that for the
brochure.
Also we need to look at the
sustainable design features
What?
"Vernacular window proportions"?
Well, what else
do you want me to say?
I'm just adjusting, that's all.
To what? You.
In work mode.
I've never seen it before.
It's nice.
Any more architectural
jargon you want to sling my way?
OK.
Um, there's outside shots,
obviously,
and a few to match the "before"
photographs Alistair
should have given you already.
I'll be over there if you need
anything.
What, you're not staying
with me?
This is much less fun than I
imagined.
This is work, Frankie.
Yes, I know, Cat.
And when you've had your kicks,
you'll go skipping back to New York.
Yeah, well, I'm not going back.
What? Glasgow's my home.
I want to stay.
You're staying?
I have tried getting in touch with
you, but you just keep blanking me.
Can't we just be friends?
We're not 12.
Why would I want
to be friends with you anyway?
My real friends want me to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
You don't.
You're all about
distractions, Frankie.
Anything that takes you away from
having to deal with your own ***.
Can I ask you something?
Go ahead.
Um, how do you feel about,
um, coming back to mine,
we could spend the day in bed,
I could wear the new lingerie
you bought for me I can't.
I've got something on now, but, um
I could always come round later,
unless you've got plans?
It is Scrabble night, but I'm
prepared to make the exception.
Great.
Well, I'll see you later then.
Yeah, see you later.
Um, Lou!
I know I know this is huge for
you, I know it is, but
it's going to be fine.
We're going to be fine.
Yeah.
And I know it doesn't
really compare, but I came out
when I was pissed as a fart at my
mum's 50th birthday party.
It's not quite in the public eye,
but still Anyway, I'm waffling.
You're beautiful.
I'll see you tonight.
See you.
DOOR OPENS
Hi.
Hi.
Is Becky in bed?
Yeah.
She said if you had a dog,
your dinner would be in it.
And not to wake her up.
***.
I got stuck with clients.
Is she really pissed off with me?
Yeah, but it's nothing a bit of
grovelling tomorrow won't fix.
I'm getting pretty good at that.
You may be a crap boyfriend,
but you're a fabulous friend.
What have I done?
It's what you're about to do.
Come on!
Come on!
VACUUM CLEANER ON
VACUUM CLEANER OFF
Who are you and what
have you done with Tess?
Lou's coming over.
Today she kissed me in public.
This is, like, definitely happening,
Cat.
She's actually my girlfriend!
OMG! Don't take the ***!
I'm allowed to be all girly.
I spent my teens fake squealing
for spotty boys,
and now it's 100% genuine.
But you're nearly 30.
Stop being a killjoy!
We're having a romantic night in.
Posh nibbles and Prosecco, which is,
in my book, practically civil
partnership,
and the good news doesn't stop
there
You're going to clean the
bathroom too? Even better!
I'm never going to mess the bathroom
up ever again.
I'm moving out!
Isn't it a bit soon?
Not with Lou.
Not yet anyway, no.
You've been so brilliant
letting me stay here, Cat.
And I know I'm a nightmare,
messing everything up and getting in
the way You don't get in the way!
Yeah, yeah, but you need your
own space, especially now you're
with Sam.
Which is totally fine.
And I mentioned it to Frankie today,
and she's looking for somewhere too.
You're moving in with Frankie? Yeah.
Is that all right?
I can't face moving
in with a random.
Do you feel weird?
No.
No!
No, not at all.
No.
Cool
I can't stay here forever, can I?
And I'll still be round
all the time.
Yeahyeah.
You and Lou can have the
living room to yourselves tonight.
I'll stay out of your way.
You don't have to do that.
Cat, you are OK, aren't you?
Course!
Jesus, Frankie, I know you have a
knack for seeking out
the edgier nightspots in town,
but this is taking the ***!
Ten more minutes, then we'll go,
all right? At least tell me
what I'm here for!
Back up.
You're going to have to
do better than that, all right?
Hey.
Wait, I just want to talk to you,
just a few questions.
Frankie Who are you?
Police or something? No.
Then what the *** do you want?
Something was sent here.
A photo
album - pictures of me as a kid.
Sent to someone called Annie
Cawthorne.
Do you know her?
No.
Never heard of her.
But you do live here? No.
Then what are you doing here?
Frankie, will you just let the guy
get on with whatever it is he's
doing? Frankie?
Yeah.
Is that not a guy's name?
Francesca.
Yeah, well, you should say that
then.
That's a lot nicer.
So you haven't seen anything
here for Annie Cawthorne?
No.
All right, thanks.
I'm sorry.
Do you guys smoke weed?
Just that, if you want to
come in, I can sort youse out.
No, no, we're OK.
Thanks.
Yeah, all right.
Cheers.
Cheers, mate.
So who lived here before, then?
How the *** should I know?
It's derelict, so I deal from here.
And no-one else comes here?
There's a few smackheads
from time to time, but
I don't think there's going to be
anyone interested in your wee baby
photos.
Sit down if you want.
Sorry, mate.
I didn't catch your name.
Er, I didn't say what it was.
OK, that'll be why, then(!)
I'm Jay.
Are you two together?
No, no, no.
She's a ***.
Straight up?
I'm not saying anything.
I'm not
like one of these, what do you
call it - a homophobic, er
It doesn't
Look, I've only got skunk
and it's my last, so
I mean, if you want some,
you'll just have to share with me.
Great.
OK, thanks.
Great.
Let's see what you're made of.
I found these keys the last
time I was here.
Are they yours?
Never seen them before.
Can I use your toilet?
Yeah, it's upstairs.
First on the left.
It was only ever meant to be
a temporary thing with Tess.
I just didn't expect it to be
so sudden.
Are you all right?
Yeah! God, completely.
You are allowed to be pissed off.
I'm not pissed off.
Why would I be
pissed off? All right.
Just
try to relax.
OK.
Sorry.
Yeah?
It just feels like Frankie's
needling her way into my life.
First work, now thisand it was her
fault Jay was late this morning!
If I lose out on this job
because of her, I swear to God
Cat, you're really
not into this, are you?
No! Yeah, I am! I am.
Go on.
Carry on.
Yeah? Sure?
OK.
It's like that bloody film, Gaslight.
I'm the one who ends up
sounding mental.
I think it's work stress.
Are you OK? I'm fine.
Sorry.
Ugh.
Can we just stick to
pretentious bars from now on?
I am totally over squats.
Sure.
But thank you for coming, though.
Are you all right?
Yeah.
I just felt a bit
weird in that flat.
Made me feel like I
was crawling with fleas.
Are you going to tell me why
the hell we were there, or? No.
Ah, God!
I'm going to feel like ***
tomorrow.
It is tomorrow.
Hey, babe, did we wake you up?
Yeah! I always sleep in my uniform(!)
Oh, you stink!
I love you.
What happened to dinner?
Baby, I'm so sorry.
I got caught up at work.
I didn't
I didn't want to disturb you.
See,
that's what I love about you, Jay.
You're just so thoughtful.
Frankie, I don't suppose
you've had any joy tracking
down my necklace, have you?
No.
But I'll keep trying.
Sorry.
If you wouldn't mind.
What are you on about, "keep
trying"? You haven't done anything!
How do you know?
Because I know you, Frankie!
It's not that she didn't turn up,
it's that she didn't bother to call.
It's like I'm not even worth a phone
call.
Have you tried calling her?
I've got repetitive strain
injury from calling her so much!
Do you think I scared her off?
No, I'm sure there's a decent
explanation.
Like an accident? Yeah.
What? No! Like
she's lost her phone or something.
She's got three.
I've tried them all.
This isthis is so depressing.
How can you be depressed on a day
like this? Look at it!
I do apologise, but when you're
jobless and potentially
relationship-less,
it's hard to wake up happy, just
because it's not *** it down.
Well, I'm in the same boat as you
and I'm not complaining.
I don't understand it, though.
It's like everything's
been going so well.
I licked her ***
five times the other night,
and this is the thanks I get.
I mean
I'm so sorry.
Mrs Smith.
Sorry to keep you
waiting.
Got your attention then.
# She
# She
# She
# Could have been an astronaut
# But she's frightened of
the callow robot
# I thought that she could cope
# Pushing the envelope here #
SHE MOANS
KNOCK ON DOOR
Alastair? Can I have a word, please?
Yeah, of course.
It'sa bit delicate.
Um, it's
It's about Frankie.
We have a history.
Go on.
I feel
completely unprofessional
bringing this to your attention, but
at the same time, I'd hate
for it to affect my work.
I'm not saying anything
negative about Frankie, she's
a very good photographer.
Cat, don't worry.
I'll make sure you two don't
have to work side by side.
And I'll be discreet.
Thank you.
I hope you don't think
I'm being dramatic or
When was the last time
you had a holiday? Hmm?
A break from work? Um
You've been overdoing it lately.
You've really been putting
yourself through the mill.
Listen, I've got this
little cottage in Shetland.
It's nothing too palatial but
it's got everything you need.
But more importantly it's
right in the middle of nowhere.
It's perfect for a break.
You would be more
than welcome to use it.
Really?
Mm.
I get there whenever I can.
OK, thanks.
Well, I'll have a
word with my partner, Sam, and
see if we can arrange a weekend.
I've never heard you
mention him before.
How long's he been on the scene?
SHE and I have been seeing
each other a few weeks now.
Early days.
Right, well, I hope you'll
feel better about things.
I'd better crack on.
Of course.
Thanks again.
As cunning plans go,
it wasn't quite my best.
Plan?
I thought the necklace was yours.
You could have just
asked for my number.
Well, it's a bit more fun this way,
though, don't you think?
SHE LAUGHS
PHONE RINGS
PHONE RINGS
PHONE RINGS
DIALLING TONE
ANSWERING MACHINE: 'Hi, it's Lou.
You know what to do after the beep.
'
Hi, it's me again.
Um, listen
Are you OK? I'm sorry if I was
too full-on yesterday, but
I know you're really busy, but if
you could just send me a text or
I've got to go.
OK, bye.
Company policy.
Personal calls are
strictly prohibited
on reception, but I think I did
run through that with you earlier.
Yeah.
It was an emergency.
Then you inform me and you take
an emergency break, making sure
that you log it into the?
Emergency book.
Precisely that.
How are you with coffees?
Great.
Milk and two sugars, thanks.
Making them.
Yeah.
With the new procedure,
we can ensure that
all personal service agents
are able to effectively
manage customer portfolios.
It's through utilising
customer insight
and our business platform that we
can create behaviour-triggered
marketing programs.
If you'd like to turn to
page two of your pack
You have got to help me.
What have you done? Nothing.
That's the point.
I have done
absolutely nothing with my life.
Unlike Janet Cook,
the biggest loser in my school,
who is upstairs barking
orders at a room full of people.
Not such a loser now, then.
I mean,
that's karma, isn't it?
Have one of the girls who called
you Crusty Cook behind your back
become your servant 15 years later.
I'm going to have to pull a sickie.
I can't cope with this,
not with the Lou crisis.
You're prepared to lose out on
in front of a school geek?
Yeah, absolutely!
That is ridiculous.
Well, I'm having an awful time.
The receptionist
is a complete ***.
Or you could swap with me.
You go on
reception and I'll come down here.
You can't just
chop and change willy nilly.
Well, why not?
You're the pretty receptionist.
I'm the post boy.
Them's the rules.
Sexist ***.
I didn't say they were my rules.
Oh, please! Just say I've got
photosensitive eyes or something.
I don't know, flirt with her.
Oh, come on, you can do it.
They've got biscuits.
No!
How did you find that?
Only by searching the length and
breadth of Glasgow.
I thank you.
Out of the dog-house
and into the love-nest.
I should have a shower first.
You look like ***.
Hiya.
Who's that, then?
It's Hayley the fit intern.
Is that her full title? She's
been flirting with me non-stop.
There's definite chemistry there.
Yeah, in your dreams.
Not that I'd do anything about it,
for obvious reasons.
Number one being you're about 20
years too old for her.
*** off!
She doesn't fancy you, Jay.
She's
just trying to climb the ladder.
She doesn't flirt with Alistair.
Anyway, why wouldn't she fancy me?
She's young.
It's like flirting with a teacher.
All I'm saying is, if I wanted it,
I could get it.
Heavy night
You still go out, then?
Easy, I'm only 29!
Have to knock it on the
head soon, though.
Can't
be getting caned into your 30s.
Look at Keith Richards.
What?
He's about 70.
Yeah, but he's looked
exactly the same for years.
I've been out every night this week.
Can you tell?
No.
When I hit 30, though, no way.
I see, I see.
So there's a
moral to this story, isn't there?
We should get as wasted as
possible before it's too late.
Yeah, not quite what I meant.
All right, well, maybe not
wasted but what about a bit
of a buzz now and then?
Yeah, that's definitely allowed.
You're joking.
I try not to make a habit of it, but
I am in dire need of a pick me up.
Come on!
Desperate times
That is so kind of you, Moira.
Listen, my
cousin is mentally ill, OK?
So I've got first-hand experience.
You understand.
Yes.
Sorted.
So if anyone asks,
you've got severe agoraphobia
brought on by a breakdown
since your last partner left you.
Brilliant!
Go on!
Hi.
Can I get you anything?
A4 Jiffy?
There you go.
This is a first.
Snorting coke at work or being
in a toilet cubicle with an
impressionable young intern?
Ssh, ssh!
HE MOUTHS
# You caught
# My attention
# You, ooh
# You
# Ooh, ah-ha
# Ah-ha #
Ladies first.
SHE SNORTS
# Ooh, I go on
# Ooh, still in my thoughts
# You, ooh, ooh
# You #
What's up? I Hayley?
I feel a bit funny.
Funny? What do you mean? Hayley?
What the *** is this stuff?
It's just coke.
Hayley?
Oh, these are very
good, aren't they, Cat?
What about this one?
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Yeah? Very talented, isn't she?
She is, yeah.
Where are you?
Maybe we should think about offering
her something more permanent.
Hayley? Which one are you in?
Middle one.
All right.
Jesus! What have you done?
I don't know what happened to her.
It was just one line.
Go.
I'll call an ambulance.
Ambulance?
I'll just clear my
desk now, shall I?
Alistair cannot find out about this.
Yeah, but we can't leave her.
Anything could be happening.
Let's just hang on a minute
and see if she comes round.
Jesus, Hayley, come on!
That is not coke.
Oh, ***.
It's ketamine!
Jesus, what else
have you got in there?
Oh, look, she might be chewing the
carpet for a few hours
but at least she's not going to die.
What are we going to do?
She's got to go home
back to her flat.
And someone's got to look
after her for a while.
No way.
No, I have got family
*** to deal with.
It's important.
I'm begging you.
No!
Look, tell her to take the day
off tomorrow, right? And ring me!
Let me know she's all right.
I owe you big time.
I bet you say that
to all the presenters.
Only the very beautiful ones.
Oh, you're making me blush.
So you play a villain in the movie
Hi.
I don't know why you called
Moira a ***.
She's hysterical.
I'm having a
brilliant time with her.
Result.
How are you getting on?
Well, Lou's definitely not dead.
And you've worked with a lot of
big-name actors
There you go.
Panic over.
Yeah, phew, she's
actually just avoiding me.
She's a busy woman, isn't she?
What, and I'm not?
Well, no, you're not, are you?
I'd better get back.
Moira's made me a cuppa.
Oh, God, don't let it get cold.
KNOCK ON DOOR
What did you forget?
Some Post-It notes to write
love messages on for Moira?
Janet! Oh, my God!
Tess Roberts! I do not believe it!
I know!
How mad! How are you?
Yeah, yeah, really good.
What are you up to these days?
Um, still acting.
Oh, are you?
That's great.
How's it going?
Fantastic, actually.
So
what are your latest projects, then?
Is that what you say, in the biz?
Projects, yeah.
Um, it's been a bit
quiet lately, but
it's been like that for everyone.
Like, this year's been really slow.
But I did an episode of The Bill.
No really? Who did you play?
I was a corpse that they pulled out
the river at the beginning but there
was like a whole story around me
which waswhich was fantastic.
Oh, I knew you'd make it.
So are you married then? Any kiddies?
No.
No, none.
Boyfriend? No, I'm gay, actually.
Oh, good for you!
I never would have guessed.
So, have you got aa whatsit - a
partner?
Er, I'm sort of
having a No, no.
How about you?
Chris.
He's just my absolute soul mate.
I'm absolutely pooped.
I mean, what with running this place
and trying to organise the wedding.
Plus we're in the middle
of buying - you know what
a complete hassle that is.
Oh, God, don't get me started.
It's really lovely seeing you.
Are you with us for long?
Er, couple of days.
We should try and do lunch.
Mmm.
Could you make sure this
goes special delivery, please?
It's very important.
No problem.
Star! Thank you.
Catch you later then.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
What? 'How is she?'
In bed listening to Ibiza
Chilled Classics Volume One.
'Thank Christ for that.
'
Yeah, I still think you're a prick.
Sorry to keep you.
Slight emergency
at the archive repository's
technology watch function.
Nightmare.
Indeed.
Life was a lot simpler
when everything was manual.
Anyway, first things first.
I'll need all the information
you have about your relatives.
Yeah, I've got my parents'
names and the date of their death.
I've also got this address.
I'm not sure but I think I used
to live there when I was a kid.
Could you see if it matches
up with my parents' details?
It's all rather a puzzle, isn't it?
Yeah.
Okey-dokey,
leave it with me, Ms Hallum.
Alan.
No, Ralph.
Hey, Cat.
I've just heard back
from Cassidy and Moore.
Following yesterday's meeting with
you and Jay, they want to go ahead.
That's brilliant.
Yeah, well done.
It's a big project.
Thanks for bringing it in.
I'm really looking forward to
getting started.
Yeah, well
I thought this might be one for Jay
to take charge of, actually.
Jay?
Why? Well, in light of our
conversation earlier, I know you've
got an awful lot of other things
I can cope.
I don't want you
to simply cope, Cat.
I've fought for this.
It means a lot.
I did bring it in, Alistair.
Yeah, well, that's not
strictly how we operate, is it?
Look, it's not a slight against you,
Cat, it's quite the opposite.
It's my duty to look after you.
I don't want to be accused
of running my poor staff
into the ground, do I?
You're not running me anywhere.
This is my project.
Yeah, and you will get the
credit for winning the
contract - don't worry.
It's just that Jay's got more head
space to manage it, that's all.
That's all?
Alistair, you're making it
It's been decided.
OK?
It's just unbelievable.
I do all the leg work, he turns up,
and he still manages to
land the account.
It's a man's bloody world, all right.
Forget it.
It's not worth
getting wound up about.
Oh, no, it's nothing at all, is it?
Just out-and-out sexism in the work
place.
Keep your trap shut and your
head down like a good little girl.
That's not what I meant.
Honestly, today has the
been the absolute day from hell.
OK, so why don't you just relax and
enjoy being here with me? Look, my
shift starts in a couple of hours.
Frankie has got a lot to answer for.
We're not back on her again, are we?
Christ, Cat.
Can you not just leave
it behind? So you had a *** day.
Just write it off and move on.
Oh, I'm sorry I'm not as
calm and sorted as you are.
I get stressed, OK?
What exactly is it
you think I do, Cat? Hm?
Sit around eating doughnuts?
No.
This week alone I've
seen two dead bodies.
I've dealt with three
grieving families.
I've been involved in a drugs raid
and I've had more sexist,
lascivious comments
chucked at me than you've
had in your entire bloody career.
Don't
*** talk to me about stress.
It's one project.
One.
And an annoying ex-girlfriend.
Get over yourself.
I can't believe you just left
like that.
Moira was absolutely livid.
You know she'll never have you back.
Not *** bothered.
Ask her
if I can have that in writing.
And Janet, ugh! "Yeah, Chris.
"He's my absolute bloody soul mate.
"We're completely in love.
"
How come she's got everything
and I've got nothing?
So Janet's got a big house,
sports car, millionaire boyfriend.
Do you really want all that ***?
Yeah.
Except the boyfriend.
OK, I don't want all those
things but d'you know what?
I'd like one of them.
Just *** one of them.
You've got your
Vivienne Westwood dress.
Yeah, that is true.
You should have seen her, Ed,
going all gooey eyed over some
prick with a sock down his pants.
"Er,
yeah, Janet, I do have a girlfriend.
"There she is on the telly
grabbing some actor's ***.
"
She's supposed to be flirty with
the guests.
It's her job, isn't it?
It's her! What does it say?
"So sorry about last night,
sweetheart.
Having a nightmare.
"Will explain.
Miss you.
Kiss.
"
That is good, isn't it?
Yeah.
Why are you saying it like that?
It's good! "Miss you, kiss.
"
That is definitely good.
OK, yeah.
It's good.
Have you got your car?
Yeah.
Why? We're going out.
What? Now?
KNOCK ON DOOR
Come in.
Visitor for you, Sarge.
A Cat Mackenzie?
Send her in.
Oh, and, Paul, I'm
still waiting for that crime report.
If you could hurry it up, please.
I was *** out of order, I'm sorry.
I have been selfish and thoughtless.
And I know how difficult your
job must be - or maybe I don't.
Obviously, I've no idea because
you just get on with it while
I moan about everything and
you'reyou're right, nobody died.
It's no big Cat
I just wanted to apologise.
You were
absolutely right, I deserved it.
Come here.
You can be quite scary, you know.
Can I?
In a good way.
I liked watching you then,
at your desk.
I felt like I'd been
hauled in for questioning.
Did you worry what
I might do to you?
Do you want me to show you?
SHE SIGHS
SHE MOANS
SHE MOANS
CAR ENGINE STOPS
OK.
How's my face?
Make-up and everything? It's lovely.
You look lovely.
OK.
Will you wait
here in case she's not in?
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Yeah, why not? She's stressed.
I'm her girlfriend.
It's my job to
help her unwind when she's stressed.
OK, wish me luck.
Good luck.
DOORBELL RINGS
DOORBELL RINGS
You're so bad.
So are you coming up?
Yeah, I think I have the energy.
Oh, yeah!
Um
Tesswhat, what are you doing here?
I just
I came to see if you were OK.
I didn't think we'd be seeing
you again in a hurry.
Why?
Because I'm just one big ***
joke to you - is that it? Tess
Steady on.
Come on, Tess.
Let's go.
Why couldn't you have just told me?
Told her what?
Who the hell is this?
Is it him? Are you *** him?
No!
God, no, it's nothing to do with me.
Try again, Tom.
Oh, Jesus Christ, Lou
Please, justjust give us a minute.
Please.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This must be really
difficult for you.
It is.
Please, just
spare me the ***, Lou.
If you have any feelings for me
Course I do!
So what is it then?
Are you Are you too much
of a coward to deal with it?
No, it's not like that.
But It's just
I think things are going to be
different now between Tom and I.
He's promised he's
going to leave his wife.
Oh, Lou! I know how that makes me
sound but I've got to give it a go.
Yeah.
Best stick with
what you know, eh?
Easier to be the scarlet woman
than come out the closet, I suppose.
I do love him.
Do you, though?
You don't.
It's not too late.
Look, we can
We can figure it out.
I'll help you.
Please.
It's not too late.
Please, Tess.
What? I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
I can't.
Tess, are you OK?
Can we get in the bloody house?
Lou? Now, please.
Yeah, we
don't want to cause a scene, do we?
No, I think you've managed that
already, sweetheart.
Run along, eh?
Excuse me,
who do you think you're talking to?
What is it to you? I don't want you
speaking to my friend like she's
an inconsequential piece of crap.
You said it.
***, are you OK?
Are you all right?
Get away from me or I'll call
the police! Oh, I'm bleeding
Did you see him go down?
I know I say it myself,
but that was some right hook.
Oh, Tess
SHE SOBS
Tess, come on
Let's go.
Wow, this is a nice surprise.
I didn't expect to
see you again so soon.
Well, I was at a loose end.
Flatterer.
Tell you what, I need this drink.
I've had the most manic day.
Five different viewings all
in different parts of Glasgow.
Knack-er-ing.
There was this one couple who were
a total nightmare.
They couldn't agree on anything.
They're getting married next year.
INAUDIBLE
He looked fatter than he
did on telly, didn't he?
I know they say the camera
adds ten pounds but
Ed, please can we move on?
I'm just trying to point out that
you're a better catch then he is.
I don't care if he's famous or not.
Thank you.
Imagine if this got out.
We could make a *** load of money.
Er, kiss and tell isn't really my
kind of thing.
It's one way of
coming out to your gran, though.
It wouldn't have to be kiss and
tell.
You could do it anonymously.
Tip the press off.
Well, I might be desperate
but I'm not that desperate.
More fool you.
Er, sorry.
Happy and committed couples are
banned from this area of the bar.
This section is for ***-ups only.
Who says I'm committed anyway?
We're only staying for one.
I've
booked us a table at Chardon D'or.
Wow! What's the occasion?
Does there need to be one?
Ah!
Oh, sorry.
We haven't met
before, have we? This is Sadie.
Sadie is an old friend of mine.
This is Jay and Becky who I'm
staying with at the moment.
Hi.
Hiya.
Nice necklace.
Thanks.
We got your text.
How are you?
She'll be fine.
What happened?
I caught my so-called girlfriend in
the arms of her cheeseball co-star,
with his gelled hair
and his blinding teeth
And tan to rival David Dickinson's.
So utterly predictable.
I mean, I'm now
dumped and homeless
Well, I thought we were going to
move in together? Yeah, but when?
I can't stay at Cat's, now that
her and Sam are pinned to each
other in their matching pyjamas.
I can help you find somewhere.
Yeah?
In fact, I know just the place.
Well, there you go.
Every cloud
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
Oh, ***.
Sadie
Oh, God.
We exhausted every avenue
but I'm afraid we couldn't
find anything to link your
parents to the address you gave.
Are you sure?
We have got copies of most of the
documents you requested, though.
Your parents' death certificates
along with your sister's.
I don't have a sister.
Well, I don't see how there
can have been a mistake.
These are your parents'
death certificates.
Lindsey AlanRobert Alan
and little Francesca
Francesca?
I am sorry.
Tragic losing someone so young.
Oh.
***.
Sorry.
Is that your new squeeze
I saw this morning?
Her name's Sam.
What's that? Frankie trying to get
me back on the scene.
Internet dating?
You're adventurous, aren't you Tess?
You want to know what's going on?
I'm dead.
What's the problem?
Lunch, my parents.
Today.
Well, well, well.
Little Francesca.
Everything we did
was in your best interests.
# You're such an unusual force
# I'm trying to fight
# A ghost playing tricks
with my mind
# And breathing down my back
# Saying
# Forget about the fights
# Forget about the times
I let you down
# And please
# Come a little closer to me
# And grab my hand #