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It's 2:15 AM
Saturday, August 7th 2010.
I'm planning to
get to area 24
an hour before sunrise.
I feel my
compassion
starting to get in the way
of what I came here to do.
I mean, I see...
I've seen a few rabbits running around,
just walking around the
military base,
and the last thing I want to do is kill em or hurt em.
I've always been a
lover of animals. I've had
pet rabbits, birds,
tortoises, cats,
a dog...
and, um,
and yet I
enjoy
the taste of meat and I eat meat.
And, to me this is...
hypocrisy.
If I'm
not comfortable killing an animal then I shouldn't eat em.
And most people
are okay with
being hypocritical at that level.
And I am not.
That's one of the reasons I've
come here - to
set my
compassion aside and get in touch with my
survival killer instinct
and
it's yet to be seen if I'll
be able to do that.
I think I am
more comfortable
with the idea of taking a pig than a rabbit because they can
be mean or aggressive and attack people,
whereas rabbits are
gentle
herbivores.
It shouldn't really matter though,
because
taking...
we need to take life in order to live.
Even if you're a vegetarian,
you take life at some level.
Whether it be, ya know,
a plant or an animal, you're taking life to survive.
And that's
necessary - a necessary part of life.
I've always been - the way I've been raised is
is to... you know, violence is bad, killing is wrong, thou shalt not kill
and
I think it's
important to distinguish
between thou shalt not kill and thou shalt not ***
because
killing is part of surviving.
And I'm
I'm a, uh...
emotional
and sensitive and compassionate person,
so this is
a challenge for me
in that regard, to set
those parts of my personality aside and
the way I've been brought up,
as far as violence being wrong,
aside
and to confront
and admit that
violence and taking life is...
is a necessary part of living.
It's always, it's always going to be true on some level.
And, this might be...
I might be going to
extreme measures to
prove that or to
to get in touch with that, but
that's what I've come here to do
and we'll see what happens
tomorrow... or in a few hours.