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When we get to the 30s, we regret a lot of *** we do every day.
We repent, but we don't learn.
Priscila: the repentant one.
Claudinha, have you decided what movie we'll watch?
When a woman gets to the 30, she arrives at the age of indecision.
Men, profession, family, even a simple DVD.
Claudinha: the undecided one.
No dear, I haven't decided yet. There are so many options.
I´ll run away from here.
I´ll run away, by your side I don´t get...
When a woman gets to the 30
she knows exactly what she wants from life.
Already well decided sexually and professionally.
Isn't it?
Bia: the decided one
At 30´s
Pilot Episode: Every Perfect Man is Gay
Girls, pizza is here.
So, have you picked a movie?
You hear this little noise that's playing, cheesy, bizarre which kills anyone from shame.
Where is it comming from?
It's Priscila's cell phone.
Oh, Priscila, your cell phone is ringing. Pit, please.
Is it here?
Get that cheesy music mobile off
Who is it?
Hmmm ... It´s Thiago. Wow! He's calling from Mount Olympus.
What a Greek God is this!
Let me see. Let me see.
Look! He´s handsome and a little bit more.
Whoa! Thiago!
Who´s him?
Look what I do.
How so? Won't you answer the phone?
No?
No.
You dismissed that hunk guy out of the blue? What's your problem?
He... again.
Oh, Priscila, come back here. You can´t do it.
Hey, girls! Pizza will get cold!
Oh, women, men. Damn!
What's happened with you, Priscila? You hit your head?
Claudinha, this man is handsome, smells good, has a good job.
He knows how to dress, gets his nails done, gets waxed.
He knows how to dance, has a sense of humor, and the worst of all:
He doesn't get off my back.
Don't you think there is something wrong with him?
Ah! Let me think. No.
He's gay.
Oh! It´s him again.
And you'll see that he'll send a beautiful message to my mailbox.
Priscila, think with me.
You said that you wanted a man like Thiago.
Isn´t?
It´s true.
Now when he appears, you kick him out.
Are you crazy?
He left a message.
It means he likes you, darling.
Claudinha, wakes up, Brazil. Stop being silly.
Think a little bit with me. You really think that a man like him is straight?
Yes.
He´s gay.
The guy gets his nails done, gets waxed.
Are you kidding me?
He might as well have gotten a better Brazilian Wax than mine.
He´s a metrosexual. It´s a thing these days.
He´s gay. Gay. G-A-Y. Happy!
Ah, Claudinha.
You know what I think.
I think that you´re overstating.
Just ´cause he´s handsome
Sexy, wonderful, perfect
You´re thinking that he´s gay. Dammit!
I'm gonna serve the pizza. Who wants a Coke?
I want a big-big glass.
Soda gives you cellulite.
*** it. So, now what? How is Thiago?
Huh! He's gone.
Claudinha, the deal is this: his father is a former military.
It leads me to believe that he had a strict upbringing.
Cause there's that too, honey, as if he wasn't perfect.
He's also very polite.
But returning to my thought.
It's obvious that the guy is gay
and he doesn't want to tell the truth to his family.
I think so too. It's what else is out there, closeted gay.
Is it? Aren't you overstating?
You wish, Claudinha.
Claudinha, have ever heard from a man
on the second date
"I'm in love with you, let's stay together?"
No! I wish!
So, he told me so and much more...
He's a gay and period!
He may even disguises, pretends
but man with all these "qualities" doens't exist.
No.
Well it does seems a little bit suspicious.
Too bad for you, my dear. Damn!
I was already happy.
That's what I'm saying
too good to be straight.
Look, at our age, a man like that is already married.
Agreed! Totally married.
Very complicated. Very tricky.
Oh yeah!
It's him again. I can't believe it! He's so insistent.
I'm gonna answer the phone.
Oh My God! Don't say to the boy that he´s gay.
Why?
Maybe he's not sure yet.
Hello. Who is? Hi, Thiago. Yes, I remember.
So, I didn't have time to listen to your message.
What? Go out tonight?
I can't. Impossible. I can´t.
Next week I also can't... I´m so busy. Not even next month.
Look, I´m getting my nails done, we'll talk later, OK?! Bye.
You're very brave!
You kicked him out in high style.
Oh my!
I can't believe what you just did. Kick a man like this.
My heart stopped now.
He's so perfect he gets to be boring.
Girls, I just have a great idea now.
We should introduce him to Leandro.
That *** might as well like him.
And you risk losing that man forever.
I don´t care. I don´t care. I don´t care.
Someone will be happy.
Seriously. With so many men chasing me
a handsome gay guy had to bother me.
Men chasing you? I don't buy that!
You know what I think.
Leandro is the solution to our problems.
He´ll know if Thiago is gay or not just by looking the photo.
Gay recognizes another gay.
Really?
Maybe.
Trust me. Trust.
Because I know when Leandro look at Thiago´s photo.
He´ll know if he´s playing defense or attack.
Or both.
Use mine.
Hello.
Oh, damn. Why is he taking so long?
He's coming.
How do you know?
Always on time.
I open the door.
Hi, darling.
Hi, darling.
What a scandal!
Come in.
Wow! Well girls, you were right. Every wonderful man is gay!
Look at this! What a waste!
Gay and proud.
Always handsome, smells good...
a pussycat and much more.
Oh, sometimes I can't stand it.
Let me see if you´re even smells good.
I want too.
You almost fell.
What a *** smell of pizza is this!?
Apparently dinner was very healthy.
That's why you're all plump, full of cellulite.
You evil ***.
A miss doesn't eat pizza.
And does anyone here look like a miss, baby?
Only by mercy, huh.
Moreover, Claudinha already told me all about your problem.
I have no doubt. To me he's a closet gay!
Turn the computer on.
I´m very curious to know if the handsome Thiago is gay or not.
Turn it on now. I´ll have a heart-attack.
Hold on, baby!
Look! He makes hair highlights.
Chest shaved.
He has a thing, doesn't he?
And then what is your verdict? I want to know.
Honey. I´m sorry to disappoint you.
But he´s not gay.
I´d be happy if he was. I´d be all over him
beneath, beside, but I can assure you, he´s not gay.
He's not?
Bia, you ensured that he was.
I'm shocked!
How come he's not?
He has to be? Say he is, please.
But he´s not.
My X Ray look never fails.
I know a gay from miles away.
He´s not.
I put my hand in the fire without fear of getting burned.
***!
And now, Claudinha, what do I do?
Call him. Hurry up!
Yeah, call him.
Call him and fix everything.
The man of your life at your hands and you throw him away, Priscila?
You're so stupid!
If it was me, I took him home and never let him go.
Call him, Priscila. Please! Call him.
Does he still wanna talk to me after what I said?
Tell him that you were possessed
possessed by the devil.
Tell him that you were on PMS.
You use the PMS excuse for everything anyway.
It´s truth.
PMS is good!
Call!
I´ll call. Wait!
It´s ringing.
He doesn´t answer.
What I do, Claudinha?
It's Bia's fault.
My fault?
Now, what I do?
I guess you missed that.
I have a wonderful idea to this frustrated Friday night.
Honey baby, great idea that you had.
Long time I needed a binge.
We could do this every day.
Everyday.
I´ll say one thing to you because you´re my best friends.
I´m a fool, a white elephant
A possessed, a everything without wings.
No.
It´s true. I am.
I already called him thousands of times and he doesn't answer.
He desn´t answer.
Bia, Bia, Bia... he doens´t answer, Bia.
Honey, it´s likely that he´ll spend some time without answering.
Oh, Claudinha.
Yes, honey, you really messed it up this time.
You're not helping, Claudinha! You'll let her down.
Oh "what's your problem". What did I say?
It's the truth.
I think I'm drunk.
Drink, it'll make you better.
One day you'll find a handsome guy, hottie...
...wonderful, and everything good for you.
Just not Thiago.
Can not. Don´t do it.
What's so funny?!
Oh princess!
The girl is down.
Stop! I´ll get more wine. Who wants more wine?
I think I want pizza.
Bia.
I want co**
I´ll tell you.
I... I want strychnine.
Strychnine in my vein.
Not. Not. Strychnine not.
In my vein. In my vein.
Don´t let you down. Don´t let you down, baby.
Tradução: Vinícius Braz de Oliveira