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I HAD FIVE OR SIX AUTO ACCIDENTS WHERE CARS WERE
ACCIDENTS WHERE CARS WERE TOLD, DIVORCED TWICE, ANGRY
TOLD, DIVORCED TWICE, ANGRY KIDS, BANKRUPTCY, ALL THOSE
KIDS, BANKRUPTCY, ALL THOSE WERE MARKER POINTS WHERE GOD
WERE MARKER POINTS WHERE GOD WAS SAYING, PAY ATTENTION.
WAS SAYING, PAY ATTENTION. >> I'VE BEEN STABBED, I'VE
>> I'VE BEEN STABBED, I'VE BEEN SHOT AT.
BEEN SHOT AT. BIG TARGET.
BIG TARGET. I WAS MISSED.
I WAS MISSED. CLOSED RANGE.
CLOSED RANGE. GOD GOT ME OUT OF SITUATIONS.
GOD GOT ME OUT OF SITUATIONS. I JUST gNEWHE WAS REAL.
I JUST gNEWHE WAS REAL. >> GOD BECAME INTIMATE TO ME.
>> GOD BECAME INTIMATE TO ME. WE HAVE AN INTIMATE
WE HAVE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP TODAY.
RELATIONSHIP TODAY. ¶AMAZING GRACE.
¶AMAZING GRACE. HOW SWEET THE SOUND.
HOW SWEET THE SOUND. >> HI I'M LAVERNE TRIPP.
>> HI I'M LAVERNE TRIPP. WELCOME TO BORN TO BE FREE.
WELCOME TO BORN TO BE FREE. THAT'S THE PURPOSE WE WERE
THAT'S THE PURPOSE WE WERE BORN FOR TO BE FREE.
BORN FOR TO BE FREE. IN ORDER TO GET TO THAT PLACE
IN ORDER TO GET TO THAT PLACE THOUGH, I KNOW FOR ME I HAD TO
THOUGH, I KNOW FOR ME I HAD TO REACH A PLACE THAT I BELIEVE
REACH A PLACE THAT I BELIEVE THERE WAS A POWER GREATER THAN
THERE WAS A POWER GREATER THAN ME THAT COULD RESTORE ME.
ME THAT COULD RESTORE ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN RESTORE YOU?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN RESTORE YOU? WELL, WHEN THE FALL TOOK
WELL, WHEN THE FALL TOOK PLACE, WHEN WE FELL, SOMETHING
PLACE, WHEN WE FELL, SOMETHING HAPPENED.
HAPPENED. AND IN ORDER TO GET TO THE
AND IN ORDER TO GET TO THE LEVEL WE SHOULD GET TO, WE
LEVEL WE SHOULD GET TO, WE HAVE TO STOP DEPENDING ON OUR
HAVE TO STOP DEPENDING ON OUR STRENGTH, EFFORT AND ABILITY
STRENGTH, EFFORT AND ABILITY AND SURRENDER TO GOD.
AND SURRENDER TO GOD. THERE'S A GOD THAT LOVES US
THERE'S A GOD THAT LOVES US AND CARES FOR US.
AND CARES FOR US. YOU'LL HEAR THIS WEEK FROM
YOU'LL HEAR THIS WEEK FROM SOME PEOPLE THAT CAME TO
SOME PEOPLE THAT CAME TO BELIEVE THAT.
BELIEVE THAT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR FAITH
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR FAITH IS, BUT IF YOU STAY TUNED, I
IS, BUT IF YOU STAY TUNED, I BELIEVE YOU'LL GET LOCKED INTO
BELIEVE YOU'LL GET LOCKED INTO THE TRUTH AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT
THE TRUTH AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE FREE.
IT IS TO BE FREE. BECAUSE THAT'S THE PURPOSE YOU
BECAUSE THAT'S THE PURPOSE YOU WERE BORN FOR.
WERE BORN FOR. >> PRETTY WELL CAME TO THE
>> PRETTY WELL CAME TO THE CONCLUSION WE WERE OUT OF
CONCLUSION WE WERE OUT OF CONTROL LAST TIME.
CONTROL LAST TIME. AND OF COURSE, THE ONLY
AND OF COURSE, THE ONLY SOLUTION IS SURRENDERING
SOLUTION IS SURRENDERING CONTROL TO THE CARE OF GOD.
CONTROL TO THE CARE OF GOD. BUT BEFORE WE CAN DO THAT, WE
BUT BEFORE WE CAN DO THAT, WE HAVE TO COME TO A PROCESS THAT
HAVE TO COME TO A PROCESS THAT WE HAVE DECIDED THAT THAT'S
WE HAVE DECIDED THAT THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST THING OR THE
PROBABLY THE BEST THING OR THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE WE HAVE.
ONLY ALTERNATIVE WE HAVE. WHAT WAS YOUR JOURNEY LIKE?
WHAT WAS YOUR JOURNEY LIKE? >> FOR SO MUCH OF MY LIFE I
>> FOR SO MUCH OF MY LIFE I WAS RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN
WAS RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME.
HOME. THEN I WENT TO BIBLE COLLEGE.
THEN I WENT TO BIBLE COLLEGE. SO THERE WAS THIS FEELING GOD
SO THERE WAS THIS FEELING GOD WAS ALWAYS A PART OF MY LIFE.
WAS ALWAYS A PART OF MY LIFE. I NEVER REALLY WORRIED HE WAS
I NEVER REALLY WORRIED HE WAS UPSET WITH ME OR DISAPPOINTED
UPSET WITH ME OR DISAPPOINTED WITH ME.
WITH ME. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE STRUGGLE
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH THAT.
WITH THAT. I NEVER FELT THAT.
I NEVER FELT THAT. I ALWAYS TOOK IT FOR GRANTED.
I ALWAYS TOOK IT FOR GRANTED. AS I WAS COMING OUT OF THE
AS I WAS COMING OUT OF THE DENIAL PHASE WHICH LASTED TEN
DENIAL PHASE WHICH LASTED TEN YEARS, I BEGAN TO SORT OF THAW
YEARS, I BEGAN TO SORT OF THAW A LITTLE BIT, MY HEART, AS FAR
A LITTLE BIT, MY HEART, AS FAR AS GIVING GOD A LITTLE TINY
AS GIVING GOD A LITTLE TINY BIT OF LORDSHIP.
BIT OF LORDSHIP. I HATED THAT WORD TOO.
I HATED THAT WORD TOO. AS I DID THAT JUST A LITTLE
AS I DID THAT JUST A LITTLE BIT THEN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH
BIT THEN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM CHANGED.
HIM CHANGED. RIGHT NOW THE LAST COUPLE OF
RIGHT NOW THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS IT'S THE FIRST TIME IN
YEARS IT'S THE FIRST TIME IN MY YEARS I HAD A RELATIONSHIP.
MY YEARS I HAD A RELATIONSHIP. WANTED TO READ ANY DEVOTION.
WANTED TO READ ANY DEVOTION. FOR SO LONG I TOOK IT FOR
FOR SO LONG I TOOK IT FOR GRANTED AND KNEW IT WAS THERE.
GRANTED AND KNEW IT WAS THERE. NOW THAT I'VE ALLOWED HIM TO
NOW THAT I'VE ALLOWED HIM TO BE LORD OF A FEW AREAS OF MY
BE LORD OF A FEW AREAS OF MY LIFE I'M GIVING HIM MORE AND
LIFE I'M GIVING HIM MORE AND MORE AND HE'S LEADING ME ON
MORE AND HE'S LEADING ME ON THIS JOURNEY I'M LEARNING SO
THIS JOURNEY I'M LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT HIM AND WANTING TO
MUCH ABOUT HIM AND WANTING TO LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT HIM.
LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT HIM. SO FOR ME IT WAS VERY MUCH
SO FOR ME IT WAS VERY MUCH GIVING HIM JUST A LITTLE BIT
GIVING HIM JUST A LITTLE BIT AND BEING WILLING TO BE
AND BEING WILLING TO BE WILLING TO FOLLOW IN HIS WILL
WILLING TO FOLLOW IN HIS WILL FOR MY LIFE.
FOR MY LIFE. AND IT'S BEEN A GRADUAL
AND IT'S BEEN A GRADUAL PROCESS.
PROCESS. >> GROWING UP I THOUGHT
>> GROWING UP I THOUGHT CHURCH WAS FOR WOMEN, KIDS AND
CHURCH WAS FOR WOMEN, KIDS AND OLD FOLKS.
OLD FOLKS. KIDS BECAUSE THEY HAD TO GO.
KIDS BECAUSE THEY HAD TO GO. WOMEN BECAUSE THEY WERE WEAK
WOMEN BECAUSE THEY WERE WEAK AND OLD FOLKS BECAUSE THEY HAD
AND OLD FOLKS BECAUSE THEY HAD THEIR FARM.
THEIR FARM. I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO CHURCH
I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO CHURCH UNTIL I'M OLD AND I DID ALL
UNTIL I'M OLD AND I DID ALL THE PARTYING AND LIFE AND
THE PARTYING AND LIFE AND GAMBLING AND HANGING OUT AND
GAMBLING AND HANGING OUT AND DRUGS CAN I DO.
DRUGS CAN I DO. WHEN I'M DONE, I SAID THAT'S
WHEN I'M DONE, I SAID THAT'S WHEN I'M GOING TO GO TO
WHEN I'M GOING TO GO TO CHURCH.
CHURCH. GOD SAID DIFFERENTLY.
GOD SAID DIFFERENTLY. I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE IN
I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE IN SITUATIONS, AND I KNEW FROM
SITUATIONS, AND I KNEW FROM BEING BROUGHT UP IN THE CHURCH
BEING BROUGHT UP IN THE CHURCH THAT WOULD BE THE FIRST PERSON
THAT WOULD BE THE FIRST PERSON I WOULD CALL ON WOULD BE GOD.
I WOULD CALL ON WOULD BE GOD. HE WOULD GET ME OUT OF
HE WOULD GET ME OUT OF SITUATIONS.
SITUATIONS. I'VE BEEN STABBED.
I'VE BEEN STABBED. I'VE BEEN SHOT AT.
I'VE BEEN SHOT AT. BIG TARGET, I WAS MISSED CLOSE
BIG TARGET, I WAS MISSED CLOSE RANGE AND GOD WOULD GET ME OUT
RANGE AND GOD WOULD GET ME OUT OF SITUATIONS, YOU KNOW.
OF SITUATIONS, YOU KNOW. I JUST KNEW HE WAS REAL.
I JUST KNEW HE WAS REAL. >> I DON'T KNOW.
>> I DON'T KNOW. I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF YOU WERE
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF YOU WERE SURRENDERING YOU WERE GIVING
SURRENDERING YOU WERE GIVING UP.
UP. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? EVEN QUITTING SMOKING WAS A
EVEN QUITTING SMOKING WAS A COWARD'S WAY OUT MY DADDY TOLD
COWARD'S WAY OUT MY DADDY TOLD ME.
ME. I DIDN'T SURRENDER GRADUALLY.
I DIDN'T SURRENDER GRADUALLY. IT WAS ALL AT ONCE.
IT WAS ALL AT ONCE. MY DAUGHTER WENT OFF TO KILL
MY DAUGHTER WENT OFF TO KILL HERSELF.
HERSELF. SHE DIDN'T DIED.
SHE DIDN'T DIED. SHE SHOULD HAVE DIED.
SHE SHOULD HAVE DIED. I BELIEVE GOD CAME AND
I BELIEVE GOD CAME AND PERFORMED A MIRACLE NOT FOR ME
PERFORMED A MIRACLE NOT FOR ME BUT IN SPITE OF ME.
BUT IN SPITE OF ME. AND THAT NIGHT THE LOVE OF
AND THAT NIGHT THE LOVE OF JESUS BROKE ME.
JESUS BROKE ME. AND I HAD ALWAYS BEEN A PROUD
AND I HAD ALWAYS BEEN A PROUD PERSON, TOO PROUD, STUPIDLY
PERSON, TOO PROUD, STUPIDLY PROUD, ARROGANT, EGOTISTICAL,
PROUD, ARROGANT, EGOTISTICAL, BUT HE BROKE ME.
BUT HE BROKE ME. THAT NIGHT WHEN I WENT INTO MY
THAT NIGHT WHEN I WENT INTO MY BEDROOM I DIDN'T GET DOWN ON
BEDROOM I DIDN'T GET DOWN ON MY KNEES TO PRAY, I FELL DOWN
MY KNEES TO PRAY, I FELL DOWN ON ALL FOURS.
ON ALL FOURS. WHEN GOD OVERDOSES YOU, IT'S
WHEN GOD OVERDOSES YOU, IT'S THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD.
THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. BAM.
BAM. AND THAT'S WHAT I DON'T
AND THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
UNDERSTAND. TO THIS DAY.
TO THIS DAY. DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN.
DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT OCCURRED.
OCCURRED. BECAUSE I HAD MONEY IN THE
BECAUSE I HAD MONEY IN THE TRUNK OF THE CAR I WAS GOING
TRUNK OF THE CAR I WAS GOING TO GO GAMBLE WITH.
TO GO GAMBLE WITH. I WAS GOING TO GAMBLE THE DAY
I WAS GOING TO GAMBLE THE DAY MY DAUGHTER WENT TO KILL
MY DAUGHTER WENT TO KILL HERSELF.
HERSELF. EVIDENTLY GOD HAD A DIFFERENT
EVIDENTLY GOD HAD A DIFFERENT IDEA.
IDEA. I PULLED THE MONEY OUT AND
I PULLED THE MONEY OUT AND GAVE IT TO MY WIFE TO PAY THE
GAVE IT TO MY WIFE TO PAY THE HOSPITAL BILLS.
HOSPITAL BILLS. SHE SAID, YEAH, WE WILL.
SHE SAID, YEAH, WE WILL. AND SHE SMILED THE SWEETEST
AND SHE SMILED THE SWEETEST SMILE.
SMILE. AND I FIGURED THAT'S WHAT THE
AND I FIGURED THAT'S WHAT THE FACE OF GOD MUST LOOK LIKE.
FACE OF GOD MUST LOOK LIKE. >> I JUST LOVED GAMBLING.
>> I JUST LOVED GAMBLING. I LOVED PLAYING SLOT MACHINES.
I LOVED PLAYING SLOT MACHINES. AT SOME POINT, IT CROSSES A
AT SOME POINT, IT CROSSES A LINE AND ONCE YOU CROSS THE
LINE AND ONCE YOU CROSS THE LINE, ONCE I CROSSED THAT
LINE, ONCE I CROSSED THAT LINE, I CAN NEVER GO BACK.
LINE, I CAN NEVER GO BACK. THAT LINE BEING THAT NOW I WAS
THAT LINE BEING THAT NOW I WAS A FULL-BLOWN GAMBLING ADDICT.
A FULL-BLOWN GAMBLING ADDICT. I KNOW WHEN MY DAUGHTER WENT
I KNOW WHEN MY DAUGHTER WENT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND WAS GONE
TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND WAS GONE FOR A DAY AND A HALF, THAT WAS
FOR A DAY AND A HALF, THAT WAS IT.
IT. BECAUSE I HAD $600 IN THE
BECAUSE I HAD $600 IN THE TRUNK OF THE CAR.
TRUNK OF THE CAR. IN FACT I WAS GOING GAMBLING
IN FACT I WAS GOING GAMBLING THE DAY SHE CHOSE TO GO TAKE
THE DAY SHE CHOSE TO GO TAKE HER LIFE.
HER LIFE. KAREN CAME BACK FROM SHOPPING.
KAREN CAME BACK FROM SHOPPING. WHERE IS GINGER?
WHERE IS GINGER? I SAID GO BACK TO THE HOUSE
I SAID GO BACK TO THE HOUSE AND CHECK THE MEDICINE CAP IT
AND CHECK THE MEDICINE CAP IT IN.
IN. CABINET.
CABINET. SHE CHECKED AND EVERYTHING WAS
SHE CHECKED AND EVERYTHING WAS GONE.
GONE. HUNDRED OF AáNT DEPRESSANT
HUNDRED OF AáNT DEPRESSANT PILLS, XANAX, ASPIRIN, YOU
PILLS, XANAX, ASPIRIN, YOU NAME IT.
NAME IT. WE FIGURED SHE WENT TO KILL
WE FIGURED SHE WENT TO KILL HERSELF.
HERSELF. I GOT ON THE PHONE AND CALLED
I GOT ON THE PHONE AND CALLED A FRIEND OF MINE WITH THE
A FRIEND OF MINE WITH THE TENNESSEE BUREAU OF
TENNESSEE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
INVESTIGATION. HE CALLED THE RESCUE SQUAD.
HE CALLED THE RESCUE SQUAD. THEY WERE OUT THERE SOON.
THEY WERE OUT THERE SOON. AND THEY CAME.
AND THEY CAME. BOY THEY HAD A LOT OF MEN.
BOY THEY HAD A LOT OF MEN. 60 OR 70 MEN WITH VEHICLES AND
60 OR 70 MEN WITH VEHICLES AND SPOT LIGHTS AND DOGS.
SPOT LIGHTS AND DOGS. THEY SAID WE'LL LOOK TO
THEY SAID WE'LL LOOK TO MIDNIGHT.
MIDNIGHT. THEY CAME IN.
THEY CAME IN. THEY HADN'T FOUND HER.
THEY HADN'T FOUND HER. AND PRAYED, OH, BOY WE PRAYED.
AND PRAYED, OH, BOY WE PRAYED. I WANTED GOD TO LET HER BE
I WANTED GOD TO LET HER BE FOUND.
FOUND. WE GOT A COUPLE HOURS REST.
WE GOT A COUPLE HOURS REST. I DON'T KNOW IF WE SLEPT.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE SLEPT. GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING.
GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING. THEY WERE ALREADY THERE.
THEY WERE ALREADY THERE. EVERYBODY TOOK OFF LOOKING.
EVERYBODY TOOK OFF LOOKING. BUT THIS DAY WAS DIFFERENT.
BUT THIS DAY WAS DIFFERENT. THIS DAY THEY BROUGHT THE
THIS DAY THEY BROUGHT THE CADAVER DOGS THAT WERE TRAINED
CADAVER DOGS THAT WERE TRAINED TO FIND BODIES.
TO FIND BODIES. THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE BLOOD
THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE BLOOD HOUNDS.
HOUNDS. I HAD ALREADY BURIED MY
I HAD ALREADY BURIED MY DAUGHTER.
DAUGHTER. ERIC CAME UP THERE AND HE
ERIC CAME UP THERE AND HE SAID, DR., WE FOUND YOUR
SAID, DR., WE FOUND YOUR DAUGHTER.
DAUGHTER. AND THEN HE WENT BACK TO HIS
AND THEN HE WENT BACK TO HIS WALKIE-TALKIE AND LOOKING
WALKIE-TALKIE AND LOOKING REALLY STERN AT ME AND SAID,
REALLY STERN AT ME AND SAID, SHE'S ALIVE.
SHE'S ALIVE. WHEN HE SAID SHE WAS ALIVE, I
WHEN HE SAID SHE WAS ALIVE, I GOT UP ON MY TOES, MY HANDS
GOT UP ON MY TOES, MY HANDS WENT TOWARDS THE HEAVENS.
WENT TOWARDS THE HEAVENS. I STARTED TO WAIL WITH JOY.
I STARTED TO WAIL WITH JOY. THAT NIGHT WHEN WE GOT HOME
THAT NIGHT WHEN WE GOT HOME FROM THE EMERGENCY ROOM,
FROM THE EMERGENCY ROOM, GINGER WAS GOING TO BE OKAY.
GINGER WAS GOING TO BE OKAY. NO PERMANENT DAMAGE.
NO PERMANENT DAMAGE. AND WE GOT THERE AND WE DIDN'T
AND WE GOT THERE AND WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY STREET LIGHTS OUT
HAVE ANY STREET LIGHTS OUT THERE, BUT THE STARS WERE
THERE, BUT THE STARS WERE BRIGHT.
BRIGHT. I TOLD KAREN I WAS REACHING
I TOLD KAREN I WAS REACHING INTO THE TRUNK.
INTO THE TRUNK. I TOLD HER I GOT $600 I'M
I TOLD HER I GOT $600 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU.
GOING TO GIVE YOU. WE NEED THE MONEY FOR THE
WE NEED THE MONEY FOR THE HOSPITAL BILLS.
HOSPITAL BILLS. AND SHE SAID, THANK YOU.
AND SHE SAID, THANK YOU. AND SHE SMILED.
AND SHE SMILED. SHE WENT IN THE HOUSE.
SHE WENT IN THE HOUSE. THAT'S WHEN GOD BROKE ME.
THAT'S WHEN GOD BROKE ME. BROKE ME WITH HIS LOVE.
BROKE ME WITH HIS LOVE. AND I WENT IN THE HOUSE AND I
AND I WENT IN THE HOUSE AND I WENT IN THE BEDROOM AND I WENT
WENT IN THE BEDROOM AND I WENT TO PRAY AND I JUST FELL OUT.
TO PRAY AND I JUST FELL OUT. JUST PRONE JUST LAYING OUT ON
JUST PRONE JUST LAYING OUT ON THE FLOOR.
THE FLOOR. I WAS TELLING GOD I WAS TIRED
I WAS TELLING GOD I WAS TIRED OF LIVING IN THIS STYLE AND
OF LIVING IN THIS STYLE AND SINNING AND LYING AND I WAS
SINNING AND LYING AND I WAS TIRED OF ALL THE NO GOOD
TIRED OF ALL THE NO GOOD THINGS I WAS DOING IN MY LIFE.
THINGS I WAS DOING IN MY LIFE. AND FROM THAT MOMENT, MY LIFE
AND FROM THAT MOMENT, MY LIFE WAS DIFFERENT.
WAS DIFFERENT. >> HAVE YOU DONE ALL YOU KNOW
>> HAVE YOU DONE ALL YOU KNOW TO DO AND IT'S STILL NOT
TO DO AND IT'S STILL NOT WORKING?
WORKING? HAVE YOU TRIED EVERYTHING YOU
HAVE YOU TRIED EVERYTHING YOU KNOW TO TRY, SPEND ALL YOU
KNOW TO TRY, SPEND ALL YOU KNOW TO SPEND AND INSTEAD OF
KNOW TO SPEND AND INSTEAD OF GETTING BETTER, THINGS ARE
GETTING BETTER, THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE?
GETTING WORSE? LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU TODAY.
LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU TODAY. JESUS TOLD THE STORY ABOUT A
JESUS TOLD THE STORY ABOUT A WOMAN THAT HAD A DISEASE OF
WOMAN THAT HAD A DISEASE OF THE BLOOD.
THE BLOOD. AND WE KNOW THAT LIFE IN THE
AND WE KNOW THAT LIFE IN THE FLESH IS IN THE BLOOD.
FLESH IS IN THE BLOOD. SHE DID ALL SHE KNEW TO DO FOR
SHE DID ALL SHE KNEW TO DO FOR 12 LONG YEARS.
12 LONG YEARS. SHE WENT TO ALL KINDS OF
SHE WENT TO ALL KINDS OF PHYSICIANS.
PHYSICIANS. SHE SPENT EVERY DIME SHE HAD.
SHE SPENT EVERY DIME SHE HAD. BUT HEALING DIDN'T COME.
BUT HEALING DIDN'T COME. SHE KEPT GETTING WORSE.
SHE KEPT GETTING WORSE. SHE HEARD ABOUT A POWER
SHE HEARD ABOUT A POWER GREATER THAN HER.
GREATER THAN HER. JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF GOD.
JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF GOD. AND SHE SAID, IF I CAN JUST
AND SHE SAID, IF I CAN JUST TOUCH HIM, I KNOW I'M GOING TO
TOUCH HIM, I KNOW I'M GOING TO BE MADE WHOLE.
BE MADE WHOLE. SHE PUSHED HER WAY THROUGH THE
SHE PUSHED HER WAY THROUGH THE CROWD.
CROWD. SHE DIDN'T LET ANYTHING
SHE DIDN'T LET ANYTHING INTIMIDATE HER OR STOP HER.
INTIMIDATE HER OR STOP HER. AND SHE REACHED OUT AND TOUCH
AND SHE REACHED OUT AND TOUCH HIM AND IMMEDIATELY SHE WAS
HIM AND IMMEDIATELY SHE WAS HEALED.
HEALED. JESUS FELT THE POWER LEAVE HIS
JESUS FELT THE POWER LEAVE HIS BODY AND HE SAID, WHO TOUCHED
BODY AND HE SAID, WHO TOUCHED ME?
ME? THE DISCIPLES SAID, WHAT DO
THE DISCIPLES SAID, WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO TOUCHED YOU?
YOU MEAN WHO TOUCHED YOU? PEOPLE ALL AROUND YOU ARE
PEOPLE ALL AROUND YOU ARE TOUCHING YOU.
TOUCHING YOU. HE SAID NO, SOMEBODY TOUCHED
HE SAID NO, SOMEBODY TOUCHED ME.
ME. DO YOU KNOW GOD IS LOOKING AND
DO YOU KNOW GOD IS LOOKING AND SEES THE ONES CRYING OUT TO
SEES THE ONES CRYING OUT TO HIM, THOSE WHO HAVE TRIED
HIM, THOSE WHO HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING. HE SAID WHO TOUCHED ME?
HE SAID WHO TOUCHED ME? AND THE WOMAN SAID, I DID.
AND THE WOMAN SAID, I DID. AND HE LOOKED AT HER AND SAID,
AND HE LOOKED AT HER AND SAID, YOUR FAITH HAS MADE YOU WHOLE.
YOUR FAITH HAS MADE YOU WHOLE. MAYBE YOU, LIKE MYSELF, I
MAYBE YOU, LIKE MYSELF, I SPENT MONEY.
SPENT MONEY. I WENT TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE,
I WENT TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, DIFFERENT PLACES AND I DID
DIFFERENT PLACES AND I DID EVERYTHING I KNEW TO DO TO TRY
EVERYTHING I KNEW TO DO TO TRY TO GET HEALED OF THE DISEASE
TO GET HEALED OF THE DISEASE THAT I HAD.
THAT I HAD. AND WHETHER IT'S A SPIRITUAL
AND WHETHER IT'S A SPIRITUAL DISEASE, A PHYSICAL DISEASE, A
DISEASE, A PHYSICAL DISEASE, A MENTAL DISEASE, WHATEVER IT
MENTAL DISEASE, WHATEVER IT MAY BE, THERE IS ONE THAT HAS
MAY BE, THERE IS ONE THAT HAS ALL POWER.
ALL POWER. AND HE DOESN'T COST YOU
AND HE DOESN'T COST YOU ANYTHING.
ANYTHING. THE PRICE WAS PAID WHEN HE
THE PRICE WAS PAID WHEN HE LAID DOWN HIS LIFE AT CALVARY.
LAID DOWN HIS LIFE AT CALVARY. THEY TOOK HIS CLOTHES FROM HIS
THEY TOOK HIS CLOTHES FROM HIS BACK AND BEAT HIM TO A BLOODY
BACK AND BEAT HIM TO A BLOODY PULP SO WE COULD BE HEALED
PULP SO WE COULD BE HEALED SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND
SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND IF WE TOUCH HIM
PHYSICALLY AND IF WE TOUCH HIM WE'LL BE MADE WHOLE.
WE'LL BE MADE WHOLE. YOUR FAITH WILL MAKE YOU
YOUR FAITH WILL MAKE YOU WHOLE.
WHOLE. IF YOU CAN COME TO BELIEVE
IF YOU CAN COME TO BELIEVE THAT THIS POWER THAT'S GREATER
THAT THIS POWER THAT'S GREATER THAN US, THAT RUNS THE
THAN US, THAT RUNS THE UNIVERSE, REALLY CARES ABOUT
UNIVERSE, REALLY CARES ABOUT US, AND HE DOES.
US, AND HE DOES. HE PROVED HOW MUCH HE CARED BY
HE PROVED HOW MUCH HE CARED BY SENDING HIS SON.
SENDING HIS SON. AND YOU'LL REACH OUT TODAY AND
AND YOU'LL REACH OUT TODAY AND TOUCH HIM.
TOUCH HIM. YOU'LL BE MADE WHOLE TOO.
YOU'LL BE MADE WHOLE TOO. MONEY WOULDN'T CURE ME.
MONEY WOULDN'T CURE ME. DOCTORS COULDN'T CURE ME.
DOCTORS COULDN'T CURE ME. NO ONE COULD FIX ME.
NO ONE COULD FIX ME. EVERYONE TRIED.
EVERYONE TRIED. JUST LIKE THE WOMAN, INSTEAD
JUST LIKE THE WOMAN, INSTEAD OF GETTING BETTER, I KECHT
OF GETTING BETTER, I KECHT GETTING WORSE.
GETTING WORSE. MAYBE THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL.
MAYBE THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL. IF YOU JUST BELIEVE THAT YOU
IF YOU JUST BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN TOUCH HIM, YOU'LL BE MADE
CAN TOUCH HIM, YOU'LL BE MADE WHOLE.
WHOLE. AND DO IT.
AND DO IT. HOW DO I DO IT?
HOW DO I DO IT? JUST CALL ON HIS NAME.
JUST CALL ON HIS NAME. EVERYONE THAT CALLS WILL BE
EVERYONE THAT CALLS WILL BE SAVED.
SAVED. AND THAT MEANS YOU'LL BE
AND THAT MEANS YOU'LL BE HEALED.
HEALED. YOU'LL BE BROUGHT OUT.
YOU'LL BE BROUGHT OUT. THERE'S A POWER GREATER THAN
THERE'S A POWER GREATER THAN YOU READY TO HEAL YOU NOW.
YOU READY TO HEAL YOU NOW. CALL ON THE NAME OF JESUS..
>> WOULD YOU EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMPLIANCE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMPLIANCE AND SURRENDER?
AND SURRENDER? >> I CERTAINLY WILL.
>> I CERTAINLY WILL. FOR ME COMPLIANCE WAS TRYING
FOR ME COMPLIANCE WAS TRYING TO BEND MY WILL SO THAT I
TO BEND MY WILL SO THAT I COULD SEE A RESULT OF HAVING,
COULD SEE A RESULT OF HAVING, YOU KNOW, WHAT OTHERS WANTED
YOU KNOW, WHAT OTHERS WANTED TO BE ACCOMPLISHED IN ME.
TO BE ACCOMPLISHED IN ME. AND SURRENDER IS SAYING THAT
AND SURRENDER IS SAYING THAT THERE'S NOTHING OF MY WILL
THERE'S NOTHING OF MY WILL THAT WILL WORK RIGHT FOR ME.
THAT WILL WORK RIGHT FOR ME. I HAVE TO GIVE IT UP.
I HAVE TO GIVE IT UP. AND I WILL ONLY ASK MANY
AND I WILL ONLY ASK MANY PRAYER WHAT GOD'S WILL IS FOR
PRAYER WHAT GOD'S WILL IS FOR ME AND ASK FOR THE STRENGTH TO
ME AND ASK FOR THE STRENGTH TO CARRY IT OUT.
CARRY IT OUT. THE SECOND PART I'M
THE SECOND PART I'M ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN OF
ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN OF REGARDING MY JOURNEY IS THAT I
REGARDING MY JOURNEY IS THAT I DIDN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN.
DIDN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN. IT WAS BY GOD'S GRACE.
IT WAS BY GOD'S GRACE. BUT THE POWER BEHIND IT, I'VE
BUT THE POWER BEHIND IT, I'VE COME TO FIND OUT WAS OTHER
COME TO FIND OUT WAS OTHER PEOPLE WHO LOVED ME, PRAYING
PEOPLE WHO LOVED ME, PRAYING FOR ME.
FOR ME. AND IT WAS THEIR POWERS, THEIR
AND IT WAS THEIR POWERS, THEIR PRAYERS THAT CAME TO MY
PRAYERS THAT CAME TO MY RESCUE.
RESCUE. >> AND HOW COOL IS THAT?
>> AND HOW COOL IS THAT? >> I HEARD TWO MEN TALKING
>> I HEARD TWO MEN TALKING ONE NIGHT.
ONE NIGHT. ONE GUY SAID I REALLY CAN'T
ONE GUY SAID I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IN GOD.
BELIEVE IN GOD. AND THE OTHER MAN SAID
AND THE OTHER MAN SAID SOMETHING TO HIM I THOUGHT WAS
SOMETHING TO HIM I THOUGHT WAS VERY STRANGE.
VERY STRANGE. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT IT'S
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT IT'S BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU'RE
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU'RE GOD?
GOD? THAT REALLY SPOKE TO ME.
THAT REALLY SPOKE TO ME. LIKE I THOUGHT I OWNED THE
LIKE I THOUGHT I OWNED THE PLANET.
PLANET. AND WE THINK WE DO BEFORE WE
AND WE THINK WE DO BEFORE WE DISCOVER WE'RE NOT GOD.
DISCOVER WE'RE NOT GOD. WE'RE A GRAIN OF SAND.
WE'RE A GRAIN OF SAND. BUT I REALLY THOUGHT IF I HAD
BUT I REALLY THOUGHT IF I HAD ENOUGH THINGS AND ENOUGH
ENOUGH THINGS AND ENOUGH PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD I WOULD
PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD I WOULD BE HAPPY.
BE HAPPY. >> I FEEL VERY MUCH LIKE
>> I FEEL VERY MUCH LIKE ANNIE, MY JOURNEY TO SURRENDER
ANNIE, MY JOURNEY TO SURRENDER WAS LIKE A FORCED MARCH TO THE
WAS LIKE A FORCED MARCH TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF.
EDGE OF THE CLIFF. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THE
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THE MOVIE THE FUGITIVE WHEN
MOVIE THE FUGITIVE WHEN HARRISON IS UNDER A DEATH
HARRISON IS UNDER A DEATH SENTENCE AND THERE'S A MARTIAL
SENTENCE AND THERE'S A MARTIAL HUNTING HIM DOWN AND THEY END
HUNTING HIM DOWN AND THEY END UP AT THE EDGE OF A DAM AND
UP AT THE EDGE OF A DAM AND THEY HAVE A GUN ON HIM AND
THEY HAVE A GUN ON HIM AND SAYS COME WITH ME.
SAYS COME WITH ME. I STAY WITH WHAT'S FAMILIAR
I STAY WITH WHAT'S FAMILIAR LIKE THE GROUND AND I WILL
LIKE THE GROUND AND I WILL DEFINITELY DIE.
DEFINITELY DIE. I'LL BE TAKEN BACK TO DEATH
I'LL BE TAKEN BACK TO DEATH ROW AND PUT TO DEATH.
ROW AND PUT TO DEATH. THE OTHER OPTION IS I'LL JUMP.
THE OTHER OPTION IS I'LL JUMP. I THINK IT WILL KILL ME BUT
I THINK IT WILL KILL ME BUT IT'S MY ONLY CHANCE AT LIFE.
IT'S MY ONLY CHANCE AT LIFE. I THINK SURRENDER FOR ME CAME
I THINK SURRENDER FOR ME CAME AFTER I EXHAUSTED EVERY OTHER
AFTER I EXHAUSTED EVERY OTHER POSSIBILITY.
POSSIBILITY. BY THE TIME I REPENTED AIDS
BY THE TIME I REPENTED AIDS WAS IN FULL BLOOM.
WAS IN FULL BLOOM. I WAS CERTAIN I WAS A
I WAS CERTAIN I WAS A CANDIDATE FOR THAT BECAUSE OF
CANDIDATE FOR THAT BECAUSE OF ALL THE DIFFERENT ***
ALL THE DIFFERENT *** PARTNERS I HAD HAD.
PARTNERS I HAD HAD. I HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO HAVE A
I HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE MALE
RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE MALE OR FEMALE FOR MORE THAN SIX
OR FEMALE FOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS.
MONTHS. I KNEW IF I STAYED WHERE I WAS
I KNEW IF I STAYED WHERE I WAS WILL I WOULD DIE PHYSICALLY,
WILL I WOULD DIE PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
SPIRITUALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY. AND YET THE IDEA OF LIVING
AND YET THE IDEA OF LIVING WITHOUT MY ***,
WITHOUT MY ***, WITHOUT MY *** HABITS, IT
WITHOUT MY *** HABITS, IT FELT LIKE THAT WOULD KILL ME
FELT LIKE THAT WOULD KILL ME AS WELL, BECAUSE I COULDN'T
AS WELL, BECAUSE I COULDN'T CONCEIVE HOW I WOULD SURVIVE.
CONCEIVE HOW I WOULD SURVIVE. I FELT LIKE HARRISON JUMPING
I FELT LIKE HARRISON JUMPING OFF THE DAM.
OFF THE DAM. I KNOW IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO
I KNOW IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW
SURVIVE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL SURVIVE THAT.
I'LL SURVIVE THAT. THE ANSWER COULD ONLY COME BY
THE ANSWER COULD ONLY COME BY DOING IT.
DOING IT. FOR ME SURRENDER MEANT, YOU'VE
FOR ME SURRENDER MEANT, YOU'VE RUN OUT OF EVERY OTHER OPTION.
RUN OUT OF EVERY OTHER OPTION. TAKE THE DIVE EVEN THOUGH IT
TAKE THE DIVE EVEN THOUGH IT FEELS LIKE IT WILL KILL YOU TO
FEELS LIKE IT WILL KILL YOU TO GIVE IT UP BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR
GIVE IT UP BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR ONLY CHANCE AT LIFE.
ONLY CHANCE AT LIFE. I LIKE WHAT YOU SAID, IN THE
I LIKE WHAT YOU SAID, IN THE END THE LIFE YOU FIND IS SO
END THE LIFE YOU FIND IS SO MUCH BETTER.
MUCH BETTER. I THOUGHT THE SURRENDER WAS
I THOUGHT THE SURRENDER WAS ALL RIGHT THIS IS AN ACT OF
ALL RIGHT THIS IS AN ACT OF FAITH, OBEDIENCE TO GOD, I
FAITH, OBEDIENCE TO GOD, I HAVE TO DO IT, BUT IN THE END
HAVE TO DO IT, BUT IN THE END WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS DOING FOR
WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS DOING FOR GOD REALLY HAS BECOME THE
GOD REALLY HAS BECOME THE GREATEST FAVOR I EVER DID
GREATEST FAVOR I EVER DID MYSELF.
MYSELF. >> I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN
>> I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD.
GOD. I BELIEVED THERE WAS A GOD AS
I BELIEVED THERE WAS A GOD AS A YOUNG CHILD.
A YOUNG CHILD. I DIDN'T BELIEVE THE WORLD
I DIDN'T BELIEVE THE WORLD COULD CREATE ITSELF.
COULD CREATE ITSELF. THAT WAS A BUNCH OF NONSENSE
THAT WAS A BUNCH OF NONSENSE TO ME.
TO ME. I WAS RAISED TO GO TO CHURCH.
I WAS RAISED TO GO TO CHURCH. WELL AFTER I GOT SAVED I WAS
WELL AFTER I GOT SAVED I WAS GUNG HO FOR CHRIST FOR ABOUT A
GUNG HO FOR CHRIST FOR ABOUT A YEAR BUT NO ONE TOLD ME HOW TO
YEAR BUT NO ONE TOLD ME HOW TO LIVE FOR CHRIST.
LIVE FOR CHRIST. I THOUGHT, SURRENDER FOR ME
I THOUGHT, SURRENDER FOR ME WAS A BUNCH OF RUMORS.
WAS A BUNCH OF RUMORS. RULES.
RULES. I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW
I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW THE RULES AND LIVE RIGHT FOR
THE RULES AND LIVE RIGHT FOR GOD.
GOD. NO ONE CAME TO ME AND SAID
NO ONE CAME TO ME AND SAID THERE WAS A RELATIONSHIP THAT
THERE WAS A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAD TO BE ESTABLISHED.
HAD TO BE ESTABLISHED. SURRENDER CAME FOR ME WHEN I
SURRENDER CAME FOR ME WHEN I ENTERED THE DRUG AND ALCOHOL
ENTERED THE DRUG AND ALCOHOL PROGRAM.
PROGRAM. ONE OF MY PRIMARY COUNSELORS
ONE OF MY PRIMARY COUNSELORS LOOKED AT ME AND SAID YOU HAVE
LOOKED AT ME AND SAID YOU HAVE A RELIGIOUS SPIRIT.
A RELIGIOUS SPIRIT. YOU DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
YOU DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
WITH GOD. AND YOU NEED TO PRAY THAT GOD
AND YOU NEED TO PRAY THAT GOD WILL CHANGE YOUR HEART SO THAT
WILL CHANGE YOUR HEART SO THAT YOU CAN ALLOW HIM TO COME IN.
YOU CAN ALLOW HIM TO COME IN. I GAVE MY HEART TO CHRIST
I GAVE MY HEART TO CHRIST WHILE IN THE PROGRAM AS
WHILE IN THE PROGRAM AS THROUGH PRAYING AND DEVOTIONAL
THROUGH PRAYING AND DEVOTIONAL TIME, GOD BECAME INTIMATE TO
TIME, GOD BECAME INTIMATE TO ME.
ME. WE HAVE AN INTIMATE
WE HAVE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP TODAY.
RELATIONSHIP TODAY. IT'S SO VERY PERSONAL.
IT'S SO VERY PERSONAL. YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND THAT
YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND THAT HE'S KNOWN MY NAME FROM THE
HE'S KNOWN MY NAME FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
BEGINNING OF TIME. THAT HE'S HAD A DESIRE TO SAVE
THAT HE'S HAD A DESIRE TO SAVE ME.
ME. HE KNEW I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO
HE KNEW I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SAVE MYSELF.
SAVE MYSELF. THAT'S WHEN THE SURRENDER CAME
THAT'S WHEN THE SURRENDER CAME IN, WHEN I COULD ADMIT TO
IN, WHEN I COULD ADMIT TO MYSELF THERE'S NOTHING IN MY
MYSELF THERE'S NOTHING IN MY WILL WORTHY OF ANYTHING, BUT
WILL WORTHY OF ANYTHING, BUT THROUGH CHRIST I'M ROYALTY,
THROUGH CHRIST I'M ROYALTY, I'M SET APART, I'M SO MUCH
I'M SET APART, I'M SO MUCH MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT OR
MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT OR DREAMED, MORE THAN THE BRADY
DREAMED, MORE THAN THE BRADY BUNCH COULD EVER PORTRAY.
BUNCH COULD EVER PORTRAY. HE HAD SO MUCH FOR ME.
HE HAD SO MUCH FOR ME. ABUNDANT LIFE NOW AND LATER.
ABUNDANT LIFE NOW AND LATER. AND I JUST, THAT'S SURRENDER
AND I JUST, THAT'S SURRENDER TO ME IS I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE
TO ME IS I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
TO GO. THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE I WANT TO
THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE I WANT TO GO OR BE.
GO OR BE. HE CHANGED MY CHARACTER.
HE CHANGED MY CHARACTER. HE'S GROWING ME.
HE'S GROWING ME. I'VE NEVER BEEN AT A BETTER
I'VE NEVER BEEN AT A BETTER PLACE IN MY WHOLE LIFE THAN
PLACE IN MY WHOLE LIFE THAN TODAY.
TODAY. >> MY BUFRPG INTO GOD
>> MY BUFRPG INTO GOD HAPPENED WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS
HAPPENED WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD.
OLD. I'VE KNOWN HIM ALL MY LIFE BUT
I'VE KNOWN HIM ALL MY LIFE BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN SURRENDERED TO
I HAVEN'T BEEN SURRENDERED TO HIM ALL MY LIFE.
HIM ALL MY LIFE. I WAS IN MINISTRY AND NOT
I WAS IN MINISTRY AND NOT SURRENDERED.
SURRENDERED. THINKING THAT IF IT WAS TO BE
THINKING THAT IF IT WAS TO BE IT WAS UP TO ME.
IT WAS UP TO ME. STINKING THINKING IN THE
STINKING THINKING IN THE MINISTRY.
MINISTRY. THE TRUTH IS, IT'S ALL ABOUT
THE TRUTH IS, IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM.
HIM. AND HE IS STILL TAKING ME ON
AND HE IS STILL TAKING ME ON A JOURNEY OF FAITH.
A JOURNEY OF FAITH. AND IT IS, IT'S LIKE A KID
AND IT IS, IT'S LIKE A KID BEING LOST IN A CANDY STORE.
BEING LOST IN A CANDY STORE. AND I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL
AND I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR GOD'S PATIENCE.
FOR GOD'S PATIENCE. WITH MY STUPIDITY AND MY
WITH MY STUPIDITY AND MY THOUGHTS THAT WAS RELIGION AND
THOUGHTS THAT WAS RELIGION AND GLORIFYING TO HIM.
GLORIFYING TO HIM. I CAN'T DO ENOUGH TO EARN WHAT
I CAN'T DO ENOUGH TO EARN WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR ME.
HE HAS DONE FOR ME. >> MY NAME IS TERRI KING.
>> MY NAME IS TERRI KING. AND TODAY I AM REVEREND TERRI
AND TODAY I AM REVEREND TERRI KING ORDAINED THROUGH HEALING
KING ORDAINED THROUGH HEALING FELLOWSHIP, A NEW LIFE IN
FELLOWSHIP, A NEW LIFE IN CHRIST.
CHRIST. IT WASN'T ALWAYS THAT WAY.
IT WASN'T ALWAYS THAT WAY. I WAS BORN INTO AN ALCOHOLIC
I WAS BORN INTO AN ALCOHOLIC FAMILY.
FAMILY. TRADITION OF ALCOHOLISM.
TRADITION OF ALCOHOLISM. A TRADITION OF ABUSE.
A TRADITION OF ABUSE. AT A VERY TENDER EARLY AGE OF
AT A VERY TENDER EARLY AGE OF EIGHT AND NINE I BECAME VERY
EIGHT AND NINE I BECAME VERY GOOD AT DRINKING, LEAVING HOME
GOOD AT DRINKING, LEAVING HOME AT AN EARLY AGE.
AT AN EARLY AGE. I WAS ANGRY.
I WAS ANGRY. BITTER.
BITTER. AND THERE I WAS DRINKING ABOUT
AND THERE I WAS DRINKING ABOUT 12, 18 BOTTLES OF BEER A DAY
12, 18 BOTTLES OF BEER A DAY TO HIDE THE PAIN.
TO HIDE THE PAIN. I TURNED TO ALCOHOL.
I TURNED TO ALCOHOL. THAT WAS MY MEDICATION.
THAT WAS MY MEDICATION. RELATIONSHIPS AS I HAVE COME
RELATIONSHIPS AS I HAVE COME TO KNOW THEM TODAY, IN MY LIFE
TO KNOW THEM TODAY, IN MY LIFE PRIOR WERE ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU
PRIOR WERE ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU COULD DO FOR ME.
COULD DO FOR ME. MY BUSINESS LIFE PEOPLE SAID
MY BUSINESS LIFE PEOPLE SAID WHAT AN INTELLIGENT YOUNG MAN,
WHAT AN INTELLIGENT YOUNG MAN, SMART, HIGH IQ, TAKE AN IQ
SMART, HIGH IQ, TAKE AN IQ TEST IN SCHOOL, GENIUS.
TEST IN SCHOOL, GENIUS. MAN I HAD THIS IMAGE.
MAN I HAD THIS IMAGE. AND SO WITH THAT IMAGE AND THE
AND SO WITH THAT IMAGE AND THE INTELLECT THAT I THOUGHT I
INTELLECT THAT I THOUGHT I HAD, I COULD BECOME ANYBODY.
HAD, I COULD BECOME ANYBODY. WELL IN 1986 I HAD $300,000 A
WELL IN 1986 I HAD $300,000 A YEAR IN INCOME.
YEAR IN INCOME. I HAD EVERY IMAGINABLE TOY,
I HAD EVERY IMAGINABLE TOY, PRESIDENT OR CHIEF EXECUTIVE
PRESIDENT OR CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF FIVE DIFFERENT
OFFICER OF FIVE DIFFERENT COMPANIES AT THE SAME TIME.
COMPANIES AT THE SAME TIME. CONDOS AND HOMES AND SPORTS
CONDOS AND HOMES AND SPORTS CARS AND EXPENSIVE BOAT AND
CARS AND EXPENSIVE BOAT AND TRAVEL AND ALL THE TRAPPINGS
TRAVEL AND ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF LIFE BUT IT WAS ALL A
OF LIFE BUT IT WAS ALL A FACADE.
FACADE. BECAUSE I WAS IN PAIN.
BECAUSE I WAS IN PAIN. AND AS I REFLECT BACK, I WAS
AND AS I REFLECT BACK, I WAS IN PAIN.
IN PAIN. AND EVERYONE AROUND ME THAT
AND EVERYONE AROUND ME THAT WAS IN MY LIFE WAS IN PAIN.
WAS IN MY LIFE WAS IN PAIN. BECAUSE I HAD MONEY THAT
BECAUSE I HAD MONEY THAT CONTROLLED ME.
CONTROLLED ME. AND I MADE SURE THAT MONEY
AND I MADE SURE THAT MONEY CONTROLLED THEM.
CONTROLLED THEM. AND IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I
AND IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I SAID, THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY IS
SAID, THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY IS ALL ABOUT.
ALL ABOUT. TELEVISION, RADIO,
TELEVISION, RADIO, ADVERTISEMENTS, THE GLAMOROUS
ADVERTISEMENTS, THE GLAMOROUS LIFE, AND I'M LIVING IT.
LIFE, AND I'M LIVING IT. MUST NOT BE ANYTHING WRONG
MUST NOT BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME.
WITH ME. I KEPT JUSTIFYING THAT FOR
I KEPT JUSTIFYING THAT FOR YEARS WHILE MY LIFE WAS
YEARS WHILE MY LIFE WAS UNRAVELLING.
UNRAVELLING. I HAD HAD A NUMBER OF WHAT I
I HAD HAD A NUMBER OF WHAT I CALL MARKER POINTS.
CALL MARKER POINTS. I HAD FIVE OR SIX AUTO
I HAD FIVE OR SIX AUTO ACCIDENTS WHERE CARS WERE
ACCIDENTS WHERE CARS WERE TOLD, ROLLED OVER DITCHES,
TOLD, ROLLED OVER DITCHES, DROVE DRUNK THOUSANDS OF
DROVE DRUNK THOUSANDS OF TIMES.
TIMES. DIVORCED TWICE.
DIVORCED TWICE. BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, ANGRY
BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, ANGRY KIDS, LOST BUSINESSES,
KIDS, LOST BUSINESSES, BANKRUPTCY, ALL OF THOSE
BANKRUPTCY, ALL OF THOSE ISSUES OF LIFE WERE MARKER
ISSUES OF LIFE WERE MARKER POINTS.
POINTS. GOD WAS SAYING, PAY ATTENTION.
GOD WAS SAYING, PAY ATTENTION. THAT WASN'T ENOUGH.
THAT WASN'T ENOUGH. IT WAS A NIGHT WHEN I THOUGHT
IT WAS A NIGHT WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS DRINKING AND DRIVING AND
I WAS DRINKING AND DRIVING AND LIVING MY LIFE AND
LIVING MY LIFE AND RESURRECTING MY LIFE IN
RESURRECTING MY LIFE IN BUSINESS WHEN I STRUCK AND
BUSINESS WHEN I STRUCK AND KILLED AN INNOCENT CHILD OF
KILLED AN INNOCENT CHILD OF GOD, 19 YEAR OLD FROM BUFFALO.
GOD, 19 YEAR OLD FROM BUFFALO. AND AT THAT MOMENT I KNEW MY
AND AT THAT MOMENT I KNEW MY LIFE HAD CHANGED.
LIFE HAD CHANGED. THE BROWN FAMILY'S LIFE WAS
THE BROWN FAMILY'S LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED.
FOREVER CHANGED. THEY LOST THEIR SON.
THEY LOST THEIR SON. AND I KNEW THAT GOD HAD SAID,
AND I KNEW THAT GOD HAD SAID, YOU NEED TO STOP.
YOU NEED TO STOP. IT TOOK ME GOING TO PRISON.
IT TOOK ME GOING TO PRISON. SOME MEN GO TO PRISON.
SOME MEN GO TO PRISON. THEY DON'T GET IT RIGHT.
THEY DON'T GET IT RIGHT. BUT I WENT TO PRISON SEEKING
BUT I WENT TO PRISON SEEKING TO COME BACK TO MY OLD LIFE,
TO COME BACK TO MY OLD LIFE, AND I WAS CON FROND BY A MAN
AND I WAS CON FROND BY A MAN OF GOD WHO SERVED OVER 40
OF GOD WHO SERVED OVER 40 YEARS IN PRISON WHO MENTORED
YEARS IN PRISON WHO MENTORED AND DISCIPLED ME AND
AND DISCIPLED ME AND CONFRONTED MY BEHAVIOR.
CONFRONTED MY BEHAVIOR. I'VE COME TO LEARN THAT GOD
I'VE COME TO LEARN THAT GOD PROVIDES ALL OUR NEEDS.
PROVIDES ALL OUR NEEDS. I LEFT PRISON WITH $40 AND A
I LEFT PRISON WITH $40 AND A SET OF CLOTHES.
SET OF CLOTHES. AND TODAY I HAVE A NEW LIFE.
AND TODAY I HAVE A NEW LIFE. I HAVE A HOUSE AND A WIFE AND
I HAVE A HOUSE AND A WIFE AND A RELATIONSHIP AND A DRIVERS
A RELATIONSHIP AND A DRIVERS LICENSE AND A U.S. PASSPORT
LICENSE AND A U.S. PASSPORT AND THINGS OTHERS SAID YOU'LL
AND THINGS OTHERS SAID YOU'LL NEVER HAVE AGAIN.
NEVER HAVE AGAIN. BUT THROUGH HIS GRACE AND
BUT THROUGH HIS GRACE AND MERCY AND LOVE, IN HIS TIME,
MERCY AND LOVE, IN HIS TIME, THOSE BLESSINGS OF LIFE, THE
THOSE BLESSINGS OF LIFE, THE GLORY OF THAT RELATIONSHIP
GLORY OF THAT RELATIONSHIP UNFOLDS IN A BELIEVER'S LIFE
UNFOLDS IN A BELIEVER'S LIFE WHEN WE SURRENDER TO HIS WILL
WHEN WE SURRENDER TO HIS WILL AND HIS TIME.
AND HIS TIME. >> WELL, YOU'VE HEARD SOME
>> WELL, YOU'VE HEARD SOME STORIES THIS WEEK THAT I'M
STORIES THIS WEEK THAT I'M SURE HAVE INSPIRED YOU.
SURE HAVE INSPIRED YOU. I CERTAINLY HOPE SO, BECAUSE
I CERTAINLY HOPE SO, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE PURPOSE.
THAT WAS THE PURPOSE. OF THIS TIME THAT WE SPENT
OF THIS TIME THAT WE SPENT TOGETHER.
TOGETHER. FIRST, YOU BELIEVE.
FIRST, YOU BELIEVE. THEN YOU WILL SEE.
THEN YOU WILL SEE. WE WANT TO SEE, THEN WE WILL
WE WANT TO SEE, THEN WE WILL BELIEVE.
BELIEVE. DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. IT TAKES FAITH.
IT TAKES FAITH. IT'S NOT AN EASY THING.
IT'S NOT AN EASY THING. BUT THE PROMISE FROM GOD IS
BUT THE PROMISE FROM GOD IS THAT I HAVE GIVEN FAITH TO
THAT I HAVE GIVEN FAITH TO EVERY BODY.
EVERY BODY. SOME PEOPLE MAY HAVE MORE
SOME PEOPLE MAY HAVE MORE FAITH THAN OTHERS, BECAUSE
FAITH THAN OTHERS, BECAUSE FAITH IS SOMETHING THAT GROWS
FAITH IS SOMETHING THAT GROWS AS WE PRACTICE IT.
AS WE PRACTICE IT. FIRST YOU BELIEVE.
FIRST YOU BELIEVE. THEN YOU WILL SEE.
THEN YOU WILL SEE. MY PRAYER FOR YOU TODAY IS
MY PRAYER FOR YOU TODAY IS THAT THAT SEED THAT IS IN YOU
THAT THAT SEED THAT IS IN YOU WILL SPROUT FORTH.
WILL SPROUT FORTH. YOU WILL BEGIN TO BELIEVE.
YOU WILL BEGIN TO BELIEVE. BECAUSE IF YOU BEGIN TO
BECAUSE IF YOU BEGIN TO BELIEVE, THEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BELIEVE, THEN YOU'RE GOING TO SEE.
SEE. YOU'RE GOING TO SEE THERE'S A
YOU'RE GOING TO SEE THERE'S A WONDERFUL LIFE OF FREEDOM
WONDERFUL LIFE OF FREEDOM WAITING FOR YOU.
WAITING FOR YOU. YOU'RE GOING TO SEE THAT GOD
YOU'RE GOING TO SEE THAT GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE
LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
YOURSELF. AND ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND HIS
AND ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND HIS LOVE AND YOU START LOVING
LOVE AND YOU START LOVING YOURSELF, YOU'RE GOING TO
YOURSELF, YOU'RE GOING TO START LOVING OTHERS AND
START LOVING OTHERS AND WONDERFUL THINGS ARE GOING TO
WONDERFUL THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN.
HAPPEN. BUT IT BEGINS WITH BELIEVING.
BUT IT BEGINS WITH BELIEVING. TRUST ME.
TRUST ME. I BELIEVED, AND NOW I SEE.
I BELIEVED, AND NOW I SEE. SO I JUST WANT TO PRAY FOR
SO I JUST WANT TO PRAY FOR YOU, OKAY.
YOU, OKAY. SOMEBODY PRAYED FOR ME, AND
SOMEBODY PRAYED FOR ME, AND I'M GIVING BACK WHAT WAS GIVEN
I'M GIVING BACK WHAT WAS GIVEN TO ME.
TO ME. SO LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.
SO LET'S PRAY TOGETHER. FATHER, I JUST ASK YOU TODAY,
FATHER, I JUST ASK YOU TODAY, I JUST COME TO YOU, YOU SAID
I JUST COME TO YOU, YOU SAID WHEN TWO OF US GET TOGETHER
WHEN TWO OF US GET TOGETHER YOU'LL BE WITH US.
YOU'LL BE WITH US. I BELIEVE THAT.
I BELIEVE THAT. MAY MY FRIEND BE AWARE OF YOUR
MAY MY FRIEND BE AWARE OF YOUR PRESENCE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU
PRESENCE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU GIVING YOU THE FAITH TO
GIVING YOU THE FAITH TO BELIEVE THAT THERE'S A POWER
BELIEVE THAT THERE'S A POWER GREATER THAN US THAT CAN GIVE
GREATER THAN US THAT CAN GIVE US WHAT WE NEED.
US WHAT WE NEED. WE'RE ASKING FOR IT.
WE'RE ASKING FOR IT. AND HE SAID IF YOU ASK, YOU'LL
AND HE SAID IF YOU ASK, YOU'LL RECEIVE.
RECEIVE. BELIEVE, THEN YOU'LL SEE.
BELIEVE, THEN YOU'LL SEE. THAT'S GOD'S PROMISE.
THAT'S GOD'S PROMISE. BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN TO BE
BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN TO BE FREE.
FREE. >> HAVE YOU BEEN INSPIRED TO
>> HAVE YOU BEEN INSPIRED TO START YOUR JOURNEY TO
START YOUR JOURNEY TO RECOVERY?
RECOVERY? PLEASE CALL OUR TOLL-FREE
PLEASE CALL OUR TOLL-FREE NUMBER.
NUMBER. 1-888-6nk-4
1-888-6nk-4 AND@6 R TzíAN LPOU FI zF
AND@6 R TzíAN LPOU FI zF AREA.
AREA. OR YOU CAN VISIT OUR WEBSITE.
OR YOU CAN VISIT OUR WEBSITE. AND CLICK ON THE BORN TO BE
AND CLICK ON THE BORN TO BE FREE.
FREE. THERE YOU CAN SEARCH OUR
THERE YOU CAN SEARCH OUR ONLINE DATA BASE FOR RECOVERY
ONLINE DATA BASE FOR RECOVERY GROUPS NEAR YOU.
GROUPS NEAR YOU. WHEN YOU CALL OR VISIT OUR
WHEN YOU CALL OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE, REQUEST YOUR FREE
WEBSITE, REQUEST YOUR FREE COPY OF THE SELF HELP BOOKLET
COPY OF THE SELF HELP BOOKLET YOUR DYNAMIC JOURNEY TO
YOUR DYNAMIC JOURNEY TO FREEDOM.
FREEDOM. IN IT YOU'LL FIND AN OUTLINE
IN IT YOU'LL FIND AN OUTLINE FEATURED IN THIS SERIES.
FEATURED IN THIS SERIES. TAKE THE FIRST STEP BY
TAKE THE FIRST STEP BY CONTACTING US, FINDING A LOCAL
CONTACTING US, FINDING A LOCAL RECOVERY GROUP AND GETTING
RECOVERY GROUP AND GETTING YOUR FREE COPY OF THIS
YOUR FREE COPY OF THIS INSPIRING BOOKLET.
INSPIRING BOOKLET. CALL NOW, BECAUSE YOU WERE
CALL NOW, BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN TO BE FREE.
BORN TO BE FREE. >> DOCTOR CARL YOUNG ONE OF
>> DOCTOR CARL YOUNG ONE OF OUR MOST FAMOUS PSYCHIATRIST
OUR MOST FAMOUS PSYCHIATRIST OF ALL TIMES, HE HIMSELF SAID
OF ALL TIMES, HE HIMSELF SAID HE COULD NOT CURE ALCOHOLISM.
HE COULD NOT CURE ALCOHOLISM. HE SAID MEDICINE DOESN'T HAVE
HE SAID MEDICINE DOESN'T HAVE THE ANSWER.
THE ANSWER. >> I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE
>> I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS.
THIS. I CAN'T STOP.
I CAN'T STOP. I JUST CAN'T.
I JUST CAN'T. HE WANTED ME TO GET BACK INTO
HE WANTED ME TO GET BACK INTO DRUGS SO HE PULLED OUT HIS
DRUGS SO HE PULLED OUT HIS xNELE AND SHOT RIGHT IN FRONT
xNELE AND SHOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
OF ME. AND I HAD NO PULL AT ALL.
AND I HAD NO PULL AT ALL. NO PULL WHATSOEVER.
NO PULL WHATSOEVER. ¶AMAZING GRACE.
¶AMAZING GRACE. HOW SWEET THE SOUND.
HOW SWEET THE SOUND. ¶I ONCE WAS BOUND, BUT NOW I'M
¶I ONCE WAS BOUND, BUT NOW I'M FREE.
FREE. >> I COUNSEL SO MANY THAT
>> I COUNSEL SO MANY THAT AREN'T IN A PHYSICAL PRISON
AREN'T IN A PHYSICAL PRISON WITH BARB WIRE AND GATES AND
WITH BARB WIRE AND GATES AND CELLS BUT THEY'RE IN A DEEPER
CELLS BUT THEY'RE IN A DEEPER PRISON OF THE MIND AND SOUL,
PRISON OF THE MIND AND SOUL, AND THAT'S A PRISON THAT I
AND THAT'S A PRISON THAT I PRAY EVERY PERSON IN OUR
PRAY EVERY PERSON IN OUR SOCIETY IS FREED FROM THROUGH
SOCIETY IS FREED FROM THROUGH A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST.
CHRIST. SO THOSE THAT ARE CURRENTLY
SO THOSE THAT ARE CURRENTLY DRUGGING OR DRINKING OR
DRUGGING OR DRINKING OR RUNNING SEEKING THAT
RUNNING SEEKING THAT MEDICATION, WE DON'T HAVE TO
MEDICATION, WE DON'T HAVE TO RUN.
RUN. LET THAT NOT BE THE MOTIVATION
LET THAT NOT BE THE MOTIVATION TO LIVE OUR LIFE.
TO LIVE OUR LIFE. LET US NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO
LET US NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO RELIVE THE LIFE OF THE PAST,
RELIVE THE LIFE OF THE PAST, MOTIVATED BY BEING SOMEONE
MOTIVATED BY BEING SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHAT GOD WANTS US
OTHER THAN WHAT GOD WANTS US TO BE..