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EDITH: A rebel spy?
-I was sent here by your father.
DARBY: I'm a Fish?
-Yes, you were born a Fish.
MIKE: OK, I thought you just said that your dad's a rebel.
DARBY: My dad's a rebel Fish.
EMILY: I got assigned surrender duty!
Edith, I could definitely use your help.
DARBY: It's not like we orbit your possible home planet
every day, right?
-So you must go to the planet's surface and seek out
Vas Garrick.
He's the doctor who performed your race transplant.
DENNIS: As long as they're under the order to surrender,
they can't do anything to us.
-They're, uh, not surrendering anymore.
Looks like there might be a battle.
DENNIS: All right.
Auto pilot is locked in.
You guys sit tight.
I've got to go get changed.
Excuse me.
MIKE: Come up here.
DARBY: Why does he have to get changed?
Why so we have to bring him at all?
MIKE: I don't know.
My janitor training didn't cover stealing a shuttle and
flying it to a strange planet.
Did yours?
DARBY: OK, so what's the plan when we get down there?
MIKE: Well I mean, we're obviously in disguise, so we
should have our stories straight.
DARBY: Right, right, OK.
I want to be like a rogue type character, like a shifty,
mysterious--
MIKE: That's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Based on my outfit, I'd say I'm probably some kind of--
DARBY: Awesome adventurer.
Yes!
MIKE: Yes!
Awesome adventurer.
OK, great.
DARBY: Adventurer.
Wanna play with the horn?
MIKE: Yes, I want to play with the horn.
DARBY: OK.
I don't hear anything I think it's broken.
MIKE: You know what it is?
DARBY: What?
MIKE: There's no sound in space.
DARBY: There's no sound in space.
Of course.
MIKE: No sound.
DARBY: Yeah.
MIKE: There's probably a space horn for that.
DARBY: It's right next to it.
MIKE: Great.
[HORN]
MIKE: OK, that's very loud.
DARBY: Yeah, very.
[HUMMING]
DENNIS: (SINGING) Guys, are you ready for fishing?
[HUMMING]
DENNIS: Fish.
You touch the horn?
[THEME MUSIC]
MIKE: You know, Dennis isn't gonna just hang around the
ship forever.
When are we gonna tell him that he can't actually fish on
this planet?
DARBY: The suns don't come up for a couple of hours, OK?
Don't worry about it.
MIKE: Why don't you just tell him why we're actually here?
DARBY: What are you, buts?
We're gonna tell him that I'm possibly the son of a major
rebel leader?
Besides, why would I tell him if I'm not so sure myself?
MIKE: You're really going to town on that fish food.
DARBY: I'm tarting to doubt this whole thing.
MIKE: Like, seriously.
DARBY: Still, there's something
familiar about this place.
-What will it be, strangers?
MIKE: Uh, two funty ales, please.
DARBY: And some information.
-Information, hm?
Since the empire invasion, information is harder and
harder to come by.
Might be I can get information, might be it
matters on who's asking.
DARBY: Right.
MIKE: Yes.
-So, uh, who's asking?
DARBY: I am a swashbuckling rogue from a distant planet,
and this is my foot doctor.
MIKE: Yes.
Yes, I am his foot doctor.
I know it might seem like I'm dressed like an awesome
adventurer, but I am his foot doctor, and on our planet,
rogues always travel with their foot doctors.
-Fascinating.
Well, look, what information does a swashbuckling rogue
desire from a lowly bartender?
-Sir, we found this one outside.
DARBY: OK, we can explain.
He's with us, but we don't mean any harm.
-No harm, indeed.
Look.
[GASP]
-Poles?
Lures?
Possession of these weapons is a serious offense on this
planet, swashbuckling rogue.
MIKE: Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We can explain, we can--
-Quiet, travelling foot doctor.
We must detain them until the proper authorities can be
dispatched.
Lock the doors!
Chain them to the bar.
[GROAN]
EDITH: I can't believe she's making us do this.
First with the endless positivity, and then all this
pointless busy work.
-I don't know.
Maybe there's something to the positivity.
I know I like it better being bossed around by someone who's
always smiling and telling me how nice my hair is.
-Yeah, but when she's smiling while she's telling you that
you screwed up, it's kind of creepy.
EDITH: And that's now how the Empire works.
We are the ultimate power in the universe, and we have to
wield that power to keep things from falling apart.
Stern leadership is required.
-Still, there's something about it.
-Well, not fearing for your life is a huge plus.
-That's it.
EDITH: Yeah.
-That's what it is.
-Yeah.
You know, Edith, maybe Emily just feels there's a different
way to lead.
DENNIS: Anyone want to tell me what is going on?
We are missing out on some serious fishing, buddy.
Why's old fish face here calling you a foot doctor?
DARBY: Because he is a foot doctor,
Dennis, my stupid bodyguard.
Sorry, guys.
That's just Dennis.
He's my stupid bodyguard.
we're not here for anything fishing related.
We need information about a doctor.
-Silence!
You'll get no such information from us.
DENNIS: Ah, you don't have to worry about old
fish face over here.
Fish fave over here is just about to surrender.
Aren't you, fish face?
-Surrender?
-Surrender?
DENNIS: Yeah, surrender.
[LAUGHTER]
[COUGH]
-You guys haven't heard the news, I take it?
The surrender was a ploy!
The Fishmen of Tutheda 3 will not tuck fin and run!
-We are warriors.
Mighty warriors.
We just need to figure out a way to force you to
fight in the water.
-Ho ho ho!
And when we do--
-Look out.
-Yeah.
Look out.
MIKE: Darb, why don't you just tell them who you really are?
DARBY: No.
Because then Dennis will find out.
I can get us out of this.
Just give me a second.
-Sir, look!
-Murderers!
DENNIS: Oh, that's my fi--
uh, I mean, that's Dennis 4863's fish.
-The punishment for fishing is death!
Immediate death!
MIKE: Maybe now?
DARBY: Yeah.
MIKE: Maybe right now?
DARBY: Yeah.
OK, my name is Darby Richards, and I'm not a
swashbuckling rogue.
I'm a Space Janitor.
Recently I found out that I might be the son of Guldesac.
He said that I had a race transplant when I was young.
And now I'm looking for a doctor named Vas Garrick.
-Vas Garrick.
That's a name I've not heard in a long time.
DARBY: You know him?
-He's me.
Show me your chest.
DARBY: What, this thing?
MIKE: You've had a fish birthmark this whole time?
DARBY: It barely looks like a fish.
It looks more like a whale.
-So this is the fabled lost spawn of Guldesac.
Must be tough growing up in the Empire, with
an enemy as a father.
DARBY: So it's true?
-Yes.
Your father, he is.
MIKE: Wow.
What are the odds?
Out of probably millions of places on this planet, and we
find the one guy that we're looking for?
-Quiet, you!
DARBY: I mean, you heard what he said.
The lost spawn of Guldesac.
MIKE: Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it, man.
The Fish men aren't going to tell anyone.
I mean, they let us go, right?
DARBY: I'm basically a legend.
Which at first I was into, but if our side hears something
about this?
[CHOKING SOUNDS]
MIKE: I'm glad you went, Darb.
You had to know.
DARBY: But what about Dennis?
What if Dennis says something?
DENNIS: Hey, guys.
We need to talk about what went on down there.
It's pretty embarrassing getting captured on another
planet, especially because I'm a clone, and it
being my first time.
If we can just keep whatever went on down there between us,
that'd be great.
DARBY: Yeah.
MIKE: Yes.
DARBY: Sure.
MIKE: That's fine.
Yeah.
DENNIS: Oh, and Darby.
You came up with that wicked fish story.
A rebel Fish's son?
And they brought it.
Fish are dumb.
Dumb and stupid.
Idiots.
Ha ha!
(SINGING) Dumb, dumb fish.
Stupid, dumb fish.
Dumb fish are idiots!
Oh, look.
Imperial bombers.
EDITH: Hey.
You would not believe the day I have had.
Emily is insane.
I think.
No matter what idea I gave her, she said yes, even though
she thought it was a terrible idea.
And now the deck crew has gone crazy, and they think the
empire should be all positive.
DARBY: Doesn't really sound like that bad of an idea.
EDITH: It's awful.
She doesn't know how to lead.
How did she get to be an officer, and I'm still talking
to suicidal computers?
It's unjust, is what it is.
EMILY: Edith, there you are.
EDITH: Oh, OK?
EMILY: Walmsley told me what you said.
EDITH: Oh, no, sir.
I didn't--
EMILY: Please, I'm sorry about earlier.
I should have just been upfront with you if I didn't
really like an idea.
Turns out overwhelming, unending positivity is just,
is sort of aggravating.
Trust me, both Walmsley and Marf did it to me.
EDITH: Well, you know, the surrender's back on.
It looks like it's going to be one of our best ones ever.
You did a--
you did a good job.
EMILY: Oh, you're not kidding.
You know, I actually ended up using one of your ideas, so I
know it will be the best yet.
Gotta go.
Thanks again.
EDITH: Thank you.
So maybe she's not as bad as I thought before.
Although it is weird that she used one of my ideas.
Because by the end, I was giving her really bad ideas,
just to sabotage her.
I even told her she should blow up the planet in front of
all the delegation.
[BLASTERS FIRING]
-And then Darby and Edith's heart skipped a beat as a
giant fish slammed into the observation window.
Well, I didn't see that coming.
You know, that's only the second chapter in the Space
Janitors story.
If you want to follow news about season three, you should
really go to spacejanitors.com, or like us
on facebook.com/spacejanitors, and that way
you'll stay in the loop.
In the meantime, I'm going to go back and reread that
chapter about Brad and L on a date.
Oh, yeah.
He's such a Brad boy.