Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
HONEY, I'M HOME.
HELLO, I'M SIR DAVID TUSHINGHAM.
BEHIND ME, A DESOLATE LANDSCAPE--
ARID, STARK, AND UNWELCOMING.
A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT OF RELENTLESS HEAT,
FOREBODING ROCK, AND UNFRIENDLY DIRT.
BUT 60 MILLION YEARS AGO,
THIS WAS A LUSH TROPICAL LANDSCAPE,
TEEMING WITH LIFE, CRAMMED WITH EXOTIC VEGETATION,
WITH INSECTS AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD
AND MUSHROOMS AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD WITH A LARGE HAT.
RULING OVER IT ALL,
THE MOST FEARSOME CREATURES THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.
WHO WERE THESE SO-CALLED DINOSAURS?
WHERE DID THEY COME FROM? WHERE DID THEY GO?
AND WHY DO THESE IMMENSE CREATURES,
WHO RULED THE WORLD FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS,
END UP AS DECORATIONS ON CHILDREN'S PAJAMAS?
VERY GOOD.
OFF YOU GO.
TONIGHT WE WILL ANSWER THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS
AS WE TRY TO DEBUNK THE MYTHS,
STRIP AWAY THE ILLUSIONS,
AND LIPOSUCK THE FATTY MISCONCEPTIONS
FROM THE THIGHS OF HISTORY.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
A GIANT METEOR
IS HEADING TOWARDS US ON A COLLISION COURSE
THAT WILL RESULT IN
THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE.
THIS JUST IN.
NO, IT'S NOT.
HERE, BENEATH THE ANCIENT SOIL OF THE SERENGETI,
WE FIND THESE ENORMOUS BONES.
TOO LARGE FOR ANY DOG TO HAVE BURIED,
THEY MUST BE THE REMAINS OF THE GREAT DINOSAURS.
IF ONLY THESE BONES COULD TALK,
IF THEY HAD BUT TONGUES AND LITTLE LIPS
AND YOU COULD SAY,
"HELLO, BONE. TELL US WHAT HAPPENED."
BUT THESE BONES DO NOT SPEAK,
AT LEAST NOT LOUDLY ENOUGH FOR US TO HEAR.
WE CAN ONLY SURMISE
WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE 60 MILLION YEARS AGO.
IT WAS THEN,
DURING THE DAWN OF THE JURASSIC PERIOD,
THAT THE WORLD FIRST WITNESSED
THE BIRTH OF THIS MOST TERRIFYING CREATURE.
OH, GOD.
OH, GOD!
TA-DA!
AAH!
AAH!
UNH! WHOO!
WHOA, I'M ON THE FLOOR.
OH, IT'S ADORABLE.
WHOA, I'M NAKED.
WHO'S THE MAMA? WHERE'S THE MAMA?
COME HERE, YOU SWEET THING.
OH, HI. HOW-YA-DOIN'? HOW-YA-DOIN'? HOW-YA-DOIN'?
FEROCIOUS, BLOODTHIRSTY, TYRANNICAL BEASTS,
DINOSAURS WOULD AS SOON RIP YOUR BACK OFF
AS GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY.
HERE IS NATURE AT ITS MOST SAVAGE,
CREATURES CAPABLE OF UNSPEAKABLE ACTS OF VIOLENCE.
I'M GOING TO BITE YOU NOW.
AAH!
THIS BAT MAY BE A LITTLE HEAVY FOR YOU.
YOU'RE THE MAMA.
I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING.
OH!
HA HA HA HA!
FORTUNATELY, THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT.
DUH!
UNH...
[THUMP]
IT'S LIKE A DREAM. SOMEBODY PINCH ME.
OHH!
I LOVE YOU.
EARL,
GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF HIS MOUTH!
HE STARTED IT.
UH-UH.
LOOK--HE'S TALKING WITH HIS MOUTH FULL AGAIN.
IF YOU BITE MY HUSBAND'S HEAD OFF--
AAH!
YAAH-AAH-AAH-AAH!
BUT OF ALL THE DINOSAURS,
NONE WAS SO FEARED AS THE TRICERATOPS.
FROM THE LATIN TRI, MEANING THREE,
CERA, MEANING HORN,
AND "TOPS," MEANING BOSS OR EMPLOYER.
SUGGESTIONS! WANT 'EM! NOW!
WELL, WE...
WELL, I--WELL, I--
ALL RIGHT.
LET ME SEE WHICH ONE I'LL HEAR FROM FIRST.
OH, PLEASE. NO. NO. NO. NO.
NOT ME. NOT ME.
NOT ME. NOT ME. PLEASE.
I THINK...
I PICK...YOU!
DAAH! DUH.
CERTAINLY, DINOSAURS WERE LARGE.
HOW LARGE, YOU ASK?
AS LARGE AS BUILDINGS.
WHAT KIND OF BUILDINGS, YOU ASK?
BIG DOWNTOWN OFFICE BUILDINGS
WITH MANY LEVELS OF PARKING
AND IMPRESSIVE ROTATING RESTAURANTS ON TOP.
HOW DID THE DINOSAURS GET SO BIG?
WELL, ONE THEORY IS THEY ATE A LOT
AND EXERCISED VERY LITTLE.
SO FOR THESE ENORMOUS, BUILDING-SIZED CREATURES
FINDING SUFFICIENT FOOD TO SUSTAIN LIFE
WAS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE.
YOU CAN HAVE A FROZEN DINNER, EARL.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, BLECCHH!
AREN'T YOU HUNGRY? YOUR APPETIZER'S COLD.
[TEETH CHATTERING]
YO, LOOK HERE, CHUNKY.
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SLEEP, DON'T DISTURB ME.
DUH, NO, UH--
THEN TUCK ME IN.
YEAH.
TAKE ME OUT AT THIS TIME,
I'LL LOSE MY SPACE.
HEY, KISS ME GOOD NIGHT.
HMM?
OH.
DON'T BE PUTTING ME IN NO VEGETABLE BIN.
IF YOU DO,
I'LL KICK YOUR DINOSAUR BUTT
ALL UP AND DOWN...
THIS CONSTANT QUEST FOR FOOD
STRUCK MORTAL FEAR IN THE HEARTS OF SMALLER CREATURES.
INDEED, NO SIGHT ON EARTH WAS MORE TERRIFYING
THAN A VORACIOUS HERD OF HUNGRY DINOSAURS.
YEAH, THAT'S LUNCH.
SPIT THAT OUT.
OW.
IT'S GOING TO THE RESTAURANT.
HEY, I HAD A HAT.
OH. AHH.
HERE YOU GO.
YEAH.
THANKS.
YOU'RE DISGUSTING ME CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN.
HUH?
I CAN SEE YOUR LUNCH,
AND IT CAN SEE ME.
NAH.
HOW YOU DOING?
YOU TELL HIM IT'S DISGUSTING.
I HATE TO BE CRITICAL, BUT I AGREE.
YOU'VE GOT ONE MAJOR PLAQUE BUILD-UP BACK HERE.
OH,
JEEZ.
SWALLOW IT, SPIT IT OUT,
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
WHOA!
MAN, I NEED A SHOWER.
YOU HURT MY FEELINGS
AND EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF MY LUNCH.
GRRR! HA HA HA!
THIS IS IT, BOY.
BON APPETIT.
I DON'T WANT TO.
EAT HIM.
I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
PUT HIM IN YOUR MOUTH.
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.
HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE KID?
NOTHING'S WRONG WITH MY KID.
HE'S A VEGGO, ISN'T HE?
WILL YOU EAT HIM SO WE CAN GO?
NO.
MY SON TRIED THIS AT HIS AGE.
WHY DO I HAVE TO EAT THE OTHER CREATURES, DAD?
WHAT'D YOU DO?
I ATE HIM.
I'M TOUGH, BUT I'M FAIR.
IT'S NOT AN EXAGGERATION TO SAY
THE DINOSAUR'S LIFE WAS DEFINED
BY HIS SEARCH FOR FOOD.
WHEN FOOD WAS SCARCE,
THE RAVENOUS DINOSAUR WAS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
COME HERE.
COME HERE. COME HERE.
MMM.
AAH!
AAH!
COME. COME.
HA HA.
HA HA HA HA HA.
AAH!
HERE IS AN UNEXPECTED AND EXCITING FIND.
BONES, PERHAPS 70 MILLION YEARS OLD,
AND UNLIKE ANY WE HAVE FOUND ELSEWHERE.
THEY ARE SMALL, DELICATE,
ALMOST BIRDLIKE.
PERHAPS THIS IS A NEW SPECIES,
BUT WHY HERE IN THIS ONE SPOT
AND NOT ANYWHERE ELSE?
THIS FIND MIGHT CALL INTO QUESTION
ALL WE THINK WE KNOW
ABOUT THESE AMAZING CREATURES.
WE'LL BE BACK.
HELLO, AND WELCOME BACK.
UNDERSTANDING THE MYSTERY OF THE DINOSAURS
IS MUCH LIKE PUTTING TOGETHER
A COMPLEX JIGSAW PUZZLE.
MANY PIECES ARE EASY TO ASSEMBLE,
OTHERS MORE DIFFICULT.
STILL OTHERS FALL OFF
THE CARD TABLE OF SCIENCE ENTIRELY
AND ARE LOST UNDER THE SOFA OF OBSCURITY
OR SUCKED UP
BY THE VACUUM CLEANER OF IGNORANCE
OR CHEWED UP AND MADE UNRECOGNIZABLE
BY THE DISOBEDIENT DOG OF TIME.
IF ONLY EARTH'S DISTANT PAST
CAME IN A BOX WITH A PICTURE ON THE LID,
THEN WE COULD EASILY ANSWER ALL OUR QUESTIONS.
FOR EXAMPLE, SCIENTISTS NOW SPECULATE
THE DINOSAUR MAY HAVE HAD TWO BRAINS--
ONE IN THE HEAD, THE OTHER IN THE TAIL.
IF THIS IS TRUE,
IT MEANS THAT DINOSAURS WERE TWICE AS INTELLIGENT
AS WE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT.
ALL RIGHT, WHO FILLED IN THE HOLES IN MY BOWLING BALL?
OH, HERE'S SOME MORE.
HMM, WHAT IS IT?
IT'S OBVIOUSLY A SUGGESTION BOX.
HELLO. THIS IS ROY.
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
AS YOU CAN SEE,
I'VE SEPARATED ALL KNOW DINOSAUR WISDOM
INTO THREE CATEGORIES...
WELL, WHAT ABOUT FIRE?
VEGETABLE.
AND WATER?
WATER'S THE OPPOSITE OF FIRE,
WHICH WE'VE ESTABLISHED AS A VEGETABLE.
WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF A VEGETABLE? FRUIT.
SO, WATER'S A FRUIT.
FRUIT'S NOT A VEGETABLE,
SO IT MUST BE EITHER AN ANIMAL OR A ROCK.
IT'S NOT AN ANIMAL. THEREFORE, FRUIT IS A ROCK.
SOMETIMES, ON A PALEONTOLOGICAL DIG SUCH AS THIS,
WE UNEARTH AN ARTIFACT SO UNUSUAL,
SO UNEXPLAINABLE,
AN ARTIFACT THAT SO CHALLENGES
OUR FUNDAMENTAL BELIEFS
THAT WE'RE TEMPTED TO PUT IT BACK IN THE GROUND
AND DIG SOMEWHERE ELSE.
HERE IS SOMETHING WE'RE COVERING UP RIGHT NOW.
A MOMENT, PLEASE.
HERE ARE THE BONES OF A GROUP OF DINOSAURS
HUDDLED AROUND THIS MYSTERIOUS CUBE.
WHAT WAS THIS BOX?
WHAT MADE IT SO IMPORTANT, SO COMPELLING
THAT THESE GARGANTUAN CREATURES
SAT AROUND IT UNTIL THEY DIED?
WE WANT TO WATCH TELEVISION.
WITH CABLE, OUR TV'S BECOME A ROCKET SLED TO ADVENTURE.
BUCKLE UP, KIDS! YEAH!
WELCOME TO THE HAT CHANNEL--
24 HOURS OF HAT NEWS,
HAT FEATURES, AND HAT HAPPENINGS.
PANGEA'S WATCHING ABC--
THE ANTEDILUVIAN BROADCASTING COMPANY.
I ALWAYS FELT I WAS AN HERBIVORE IN A CARNIVORE'S BODY.
CROSS-EATERS-- TODAY AT 4:00 ON RAPTILE.
NOW, LISTEN, UGH,
I'M EXPECTING AN IMPORTANT PACKAGE THIS AFTERNOON.
SO WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T OPEN IT.
I WON'T, WOODROW.
[ANNOUNCER] HILARIOUS HIJINKS WITH THAT TALKING CAVE MAN
THIS AFTERNOON ON MR. UGH.
♪ I AM MR. UGH ♪
IT'S TELEVISION.
THEY SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT.
TELEVISION IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE UTTER DEGRADATION OF OUR SOCIETY.
WE SHOULD WRITE LETTERS.
MOM?
GET A LIFE.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
WELCOME BACK TO DTV.
YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF MACHO IDIOT ROCK.
THAT'S RIGHT. ALL WEEKEND LONG,
SUPERFICIAL ADOLESCENT MALE POSTURING
AND SHALLOW, MEANINGLESS SONGS.
COOL.
THIS WEEKEND IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BEER.
AS YOU SEE, WE'VE GOT OURSELVES
AN ACTIVE SUPER-CONTINENT THIS MORNING.
IN THE NORTH, VIOLENT VOLCANOES,
INCLUDING ONE PARTICULARLY BIG BOOMER
THAT OUGHT TO RIP THE TIGRIS-EUPHRATES VALLEY
WIDE OPEN.
SO IF YOU'VE GOT RELATIVES THERE,
KISS 'EM GOODBYE.
ONCE AGAIN, IT'S TIME TO LEARN ABOUT SCIENCE
ON ASK MR. LIZARD.
HI, KIDS.
HI, MR. LIZARD.
WHAT'LL WE LEARN TODAY?
WELL, TIMMY, WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN
IF WE MIX POTASSIUM NITRATE,
CHARCOAL, AND SULFUR?
GEE, MR. LIZARD. I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
AAH!
SAY IT.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
YAY!
MR. LIZARD, WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THE NITROGLYCERIN?
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
WELL, TIMMY, YOU JUST POUR IT INTO THE BLENDER
WHILE I GET BEHIND THIS LEAD SHIELD.
O.K.
SAY IT.
[EXPLOSION]
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
I'VE NEVER SEEN A JET ENGINE.
KEEP LOOKING.
I DON'T THINK IT WORKS. NOTHING'S HAPPENING--
SAY IT!
SAY IT!
WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER TIMMY.
I DON'T WANT THE KIDS TO THINK.
I WANT THEM TO WATCH SAFE LITTLE SITUATION COMEDIES
WITH TIME-TESTED, REPETITIVE STORY LINES.
COMING THIS FALL ON ABC.
HE'S A BIG-CITY DETECTIVE WHO LEAPS THROUGH TIME
TO ADOPT SEVEN CHILDREN.
SHE'S A GHOST WITH SEVEN GHOST CHILDREN HERSELF.
THEY'RE MOVING TO THE COUNTRY TO BECOME DISTRICT ATTORNEYS.
WATCH THE SPARKS FLY WHEN MOTHER MOVES IN.
IT'S ALL...
WOW!
JEEZ. MORE OF THE SAME.
WE'LL LEAVE THIS ARTIFACT
FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS OF PALEONTOLOGISTS
TO DIG UP,
PONDER OVER,
BECOME FRUSTRATED WITH,
AND THEN BURY AGAIN.
OH, THANK YOU, MISS HONEYWELL.
YOU'RE DOING A SPLENDID JOB.
YOU'RE CAPABLE, EFFICIENT,
AND VERY PROFESSIONAL.
SEX.
FOR THE DINOSAUR,
MATING WAS AN ELABORATE RITUAL.
HEY! LOOK AT THE TAIL ON THAT ONE.
LIFT IT, DON'T DRAG IT, SWEETHEART!
WHEN I WALK, DO I SWING IT BACK AND FORTH
OR LET IT DRAG?
NICE GIRLS DON'T SWING.
SO, BOYS LIKE THAT?
THEY'RE CRAZY FOR IT.
MOTHER.
SWEETHEART.
JUST SWING IT A LITTLE...
UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED.
THEN YOU CAN PUT IT AWAY.
EVEN THOUGH YOUNG ROBBIE
WAS CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN,
HE WAS MERELY PURSUING
THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES,
AND I'M SURE EVEN YOU AS A YOUTH
FELL PREY TO A WELL-TURNED TAIL.
AM I RIGHT?
WELL, I MAY HAVE PLAYED LOVE'S FOOL ONCE OR TWICE.
HA HA HA!
WANT TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION WITH THE LADIES?
FROM TIME IMMEMORIAL, DINOSAURS HAVE KNOWN
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART.
IT'S NOT FLOWERS.
IT'S NOT CANDY.
YES, IT'S THE MATING DANCE.
AHH...
AHH...
OOH. OOH. OOH. OOH.
FRAN?
MALE. FEMALE.
TO THE UNTRAINED EYE,
THEY'RE VIRTUALLY INDISTINGUISHABLE.
BUT WITHIN THE DINOSAUR FAMILY,
GENDER ROLES ARE QUICKLY ESTABLISHED
AND RIGIDLY MAINTAINED.
CHARLENE, YOU ARE NOW MY SON.
THANKS, DADDY.
FRANNIE, COULD YOU FORGET YOU'RE A FEMALE
SO I COULD GET ROMANTIC WITH YOU?
WHEN'S MOM COMING BACK?
AFTER RECUPERATING FROM YOU.
UNTIL THEN, I'M THE MOTHER.
O.K. MOM, CAN I GO TO A MOVIE?
NOT A CHANCE.
DAD SAID I COULD.
UH...
HE REALLY DID?
MM-HMM.
I HAD A LATE LUNCH. BYE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
OUT TO MARK SOME TERRITORY.
AAH!
I SLAVED OVER A HOT OVEN
MAKING A NICE DINNER FOR YOU KIDS,
AND NOW YOU'LL EAT THAT DINNER
AND EXPRESS PROPER GRATITUDE
TO YOUR MOTHER-FATHER!
NIGHT.
NIGHT.
YOU DON'T THINK I'LL LET GO AND COME AFTER YOU?
YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE HERE.
YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE!
NO. I'M PLAYING WITH FIRE.
WHAT?
HA HA HA! OOH!
NO!
DADDY.
WHAT?
HOT.
AAH!
WHERE WE GOING?
AH HA HA HA!
AGAIN!
CHILDREN.
LIKE ALL ANIMALS, DINOSAURS CHERISH THEM.
GIVE ME THAT!
DINOSAURS CHERISHED THEIR YOUNG.
THAT'S MINE!
LOOKED FORWARD TO EACH OFFSPRING'S BIRTH
WITH EAGER ANTICIPATION.
WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT LIFE HOLDS SUCH ENORMOUS POSSIBILITIES
AS LONG AS THERE'S NOTHING INSIDE THAT EGG.
[SUCKING]
EEEEE!
IN RETURN FOR THE LOVE THEY GAVE THEIR YOUNG,
THE DINOSAUR PARENTS DEMANDED COMPLETE RESPECT
AND OBEDIENCE.
NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!
NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!
DO THAT AGAIN, AND I'LL THROW YOU ACROSS THE ROOM!
N-N-N-N-NOT THE MAMA!
WHEE!
OOF!
AGAIN!
WANT TO GIVE DADDY A KISS?
NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!
NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!
THAT IS STARTING TO BOTHER ME.
NOT THE MOTHER. NOT THE MOTHER.
[DEEP SIGH]
NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL.
GOOD MORNING, FAMILY WHO LOVES ME.
NOT THE MAMA.
THAT ENDS NOW. I'VE HAD IT WITH "NOT THE MAMA."
I'M NOT "NOT THE MAMA." I'M YOUR DADDY.
YOU ONLY GET ONE,
AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL CALL ME--DADDY.
NOW SAY "DADDY."
SAY "DADDY."
O.K. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
SAY "DA."
DA...
SAY "DEE."
DEE.
DA...
DA...
DEE.
DEE.
DADDY.
DADDY.
FRANNIE!
DADDY.
DADDY.
LISTEN TO HIM!
DADDY! DADDY!
♪ DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY ♪
♪ DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY ♪
♪ NOT THE MAMA ♪
SO, OUR TREK THROUGH ANCIENT TIMES IS COMPLETE.
BUT ONE QUESTION REMAINS UNANSWERED--
WHAT DESTROYED THE DINOSAURS?
PERHAPS IT WAS THEIR OWN FAILURE
TO ADAPT TO A CHANGING PLANET.
WITH THEIR EMBARRASSINGLY SMALL BRAINS,
THEY COULDN'T HAVE KNOWN
THAT THEIR ENVIRONMENT WAS CHANGING
AND THAT THEY MUST CHANGE WITH IT.
WILL THE SAME FATE BEFALL US?
IMPOSSIBLE.
WE HUMANS ARE CLEARLY CAPABLE
OF LEARNING FROM THE PAST
AND AVOIDING SUCH DEVASTATING ECOLOGICAL DEMISE.
COMPARED TO THE DINOSAURS,
WE MAY BE SHORT,
BUT WE'RE NOT SHORTSIGHTED.
THIS IS SIR DAVID TUSHINGHAM.
GOOD NIGHT.
PROFESSOR, WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH THIS TRASH?
HOW DO I KNOW? WE'RE IN A DESERT.
JUST DUMP IT SOMEWHERE.
LET'S DUMP IT.