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Welcome to The Nerdist! I'm Chris Hardwick, your greeter.
Let's recap the year in pretentious rhymed meter.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
People loved Cap' and X Men: First Class,
but all nerds can agree that Green Lantern sucked ***.
At Comic-Con, Avengers assembled, while zombies did killing,
and we hung with Matt Smith and a ginger named Gillan.
There she is, I own her soul!
We threw up some portals at Aperture Labs,
and thanks to Skyrim, my dark elf has abs.
The space shuttle grounds after 31 years,
-and the last plume of smoke brought Matt Mira to tears. -AUDIENCE: Aww.
The world lost Steve Jobs and we'll miss him dearly,
but thanks to a Horcrux he lives on in Siri.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS)
Thanks. Some dark magic.
And speaking of Potter, farewell to you, too,
and Hermione's finally legal to screw.
Thank you for sticking around after Who,
It's time for The Nerdist "Year in Review."
Okay. For the uninitiated, I do a podcast called The Nerdist.
and it's exactly about what you think it is, it's just...
Stuff that we nerd out about.
But this is different because now they are pointing cameras at us,
and I am wearing slightly more make-up.
So, it is time to do what nerds do best
and that is obsessively catalog things.
So, tonight,
we're going to take a look back at 2011 and chronicle
the nerdiest moments of the year here and in the UK.
Joining us in the discussion today are nerd icons
Wil Wheaton and Nathan Fillion.
Plus I flew over to London to interview David Tennant,
and spend some quality time with Simon Pegg.
Two people you may have heard of.
But all of this is just an appetizer to our main course.
We will name the Nerdist of the Year for 2011!
And now I would like to introduce,
the two most huggable pups in the litter,
-Jonah Ray and Matt Mira. -Hello!
CHRIS: Look at these guys.
-Look at these suits. -Yeah.
And I'd like to introduce Mike Phirman and his band,
Mike Phirman & The Hey, Where'd My Band Go's?
You... You know what?
I love that you are one-man-banding it, Mike Phirman.
Thank you very much yeah it's...
It's basically every limb is a member.
Yeah, so I could not help but notice your feet were out.
-Yes, I... -(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
There are a lot of foot triggers and I practice at home like this and so...
I'm also wearing my pajamas under here.
You guys look fantastic.
-Well, thanks. -Is that...
It's a holiday special. We got to class it up.
You did class it up. Matt, is that a Slytherin tie? What you got rockin' there?
It is. Accidentally at Brooks Brothers I purchased this tie, not realizing it.
You accidentally purchased it from Brooks Brothers?
-Yup. It was in the bag. -Whoops, I tripped into your cash register.
-Right -Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, but, I was talking to Wil Wheaton backstage,
and I realized I'm dressed exactly like
Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws, when he's telling the mayor
that he's going to ignore that particular problem until
it swims up and bites you in the ***. (ALL LAUGHING)
Like, I even got the same shoes that he had.
Deck shoes.
Matt Mira's here. We're going to need a bigger boat.
-What? No. I'm sorry. -I don't understand that.
While in London, I got together with my old pal, Simon Pegg,
to talk about things nerds talk about.
But who knew it would turn into an adventure of international intrigue.
Simon it's great to see you.
It's lovely to see you here in my country.
Let's talk about Ghost Protocol.
What was that experience like?
-Boring. Um... -Mm-hmm.
No. It was brilliant. It was all over the world.
It was like seven months. I've never done a film
as long a shoot as that,
and we were in Prague and Dubai and Vancouver...
-(CELL PHONE VIBRATES) -And, um, sorry.
-I'm sorry I should have turned it off. -Sure. No worries.
No, it's alright.
Oh.
Is everything alright?
-(LAUGHS) Uh... No. -What's wrong?
My wife has just told me that she's not going to come to the premier tonight.
-To the Mission Impossible premier? -Yeah. (LAUGHS) That's not...
-Your wife's not coming to the Mission Impossible premier?
That's not news I wanted to get on camera, really.
We don't have to... We can cut that part out.
I'm a bit disappointed. She just said she's going to see Paul McCartney.
-So your wife... -So my wife stood me up.
-I'm sorry. -It's alright.
Um...
(STUTTERS) I'll go with you.
To the...
Will you come with me to the premier?
-Are you asking? Really? -I'm serious. Because I have a ticket...
-Would you be my date? -I... (LAUGHS)
-Sure. Do you... -Really?
I don't have anything to wear to the premier.
-Pick one of my outfits. -Oh, my God I'm so excited. Yes!
Me, too.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
No...
Um...
Whoa! Nice!
-Nice! What's up! -What's up!
-I don't know. It's cold. -I think I'm going to be cold.
-I don't know. -(BOTH GROAN)
-Oh, that looks good. -Well?
-There's a thing. -There is.
-Your belt's a little weird. -I had a problem with it.
Because I put the gloves on first...
-Are Pet Shop Boys still big in England? -Eh...
-Alright. -Oh, that's nice.
-There we go. -Yeah, it's nice.
-That's nice, you look lovely. -It's better.
-Thank you very much. -Hey, um...
Your mission.
-Choose to accept -I accept.
-Come on, you. -Don't self-destruct.
CHRIS: Wow. Tom Cruise does a great Michael Caine.
Well, you know, I taught him well. (BOTH LAUGHING)
-This was fun. -Yeah.
-Oh, you. Oh. -Come here.
-That was really good. I was... -Yeah, I don't know...
-If you wanna hang out. -Yeah, I don't know, I got to...
-Sure. -It's complicated.
-Yeah, you know, me too. -The whole thing.
Yeah, it's, um...
Well, look... Thanks.
Yeah, thank you. It was good.
-Goodnight. -Goodnight.
-Chris. -Simon.
Come in. Come in
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
That was another huge highlight of my year, being in London and doing that.
But, by virtue of our next guest just being here,
you've all received a plus-10 charisma,
it's Wil Wheaton!
Hey.
-Whoo. -Whoo.
-Hello. -Sir.
That was...
♪ Wil Wheaton ♪
(ALL LAUGHING)
I have some important engagements later today,
and I would like it if you follow me.
♪ Wil Wheaton ♪
Honey, your husband is home.
♪ Wil Wheaton ♪
(BLEEP) Damn it, you kids, get off my lawn.
♪ Wil Wheaton ♪
I'm so glad you got to be on the show. Thank you for doing it.
I am delighted to be here. Congratulations.
-Thank you. -What a great year this has been for you.
It's been a fun year, and you too. And what's really amazing, I mean...
I say this to the point where people are sick of hearing it, I'm sure, but...
I've known Wil for a long time.
-Yes, yes. -Multiple decades.
And so it's been really amazing to kind of watch us sort of...
I mean, I knew you when you were on Trek,
or, as you called it when you were on set,
(BLEEP) Trek. He didn't want to be there.
The last season was pretty rough for me.
Us, too.
♪ Wil Wheaton ♪
Are you saying that Beverly Crusher getting weirdly date-*** by a ghost
-was a weird episode? -Well. No, that was...
-I'm talking about Wil's last season. -CHRIS: Oh, Wil's last season.
Matt and I have a special shorthand.
(MATT LAUGHS)
But it was also... It was...
I mean, it was an interesting time
because you... Pretty much...
You were like, "Screw Hollywood,
"I don't want to do this stuff anymore."
Well, yeah, I had been working as an actor since I was seven.
So I had been doing that
basically my entire life, and then when I was 18, 19,
I just... I had to get out.
-Yeah. -And I had to go and change everything.
I moved to the mid-west, I worked for a computer company.
Uh, it allowed me to see that I loved being a performer,
I loved being an actor, I loved being a creator and...
After being away for about two years,
I missed it so much that I came back.
-CHRIS: Yeah. -And I went to many years of drama school
and then some other stuff happened, and then I was here.
(PHONE CHIMES LIKE STAR TREK COMMUNICATOR)
-I just wanted to do this. -That's my text alert
-notification on my phone. -Oh, that's your text alert?
Yeah, my phone actually, when I get a text message, it does that.
-Uh, do you have it? -I do, yeah.
(MAKES SONIC SCREWDRIVER SOUND)
That's my text tone.
-It does this. -(MAKES COMMUNICATOR SOUND)
-That's what it does when I get a... -(ELECTRONIC DALEK VOICE)
Oh, God, it's become self-aware!
Oh, my God, you guys, it's Christmas.
-The Daleks always attack on Christmas. -Oh, God!
-(EVERYBODY LAUGHS) -I don't know why it did that.
Why don't you, uh... That's the old Star Trek communicator.
Yeah, the Next Generation communicator is too soft.
-Oh. -And quiet,
and you don't really wanna hear it until season two, anyway.
-Right -So... (LAUGHING)
Matt knows what I'm talking about.
Every time this guy, he gets me.
So it's the original series' communicator.
Come on, if we're going to do it, let's commit to the one that's really awesome.
-Let's go all the way. -(GRUNTS)
Nerd fail.
I got distracted by your Omnibot.
I was going to high-five you, and then I saw that you have an Omnibot.
Well, yes, as you can see.
Ten-year-old me was like, "I really still really want that."
Oh, yes. He can bring you drinks. Thank you, Omnibot. Oh.
(IN ROBOT VOICE) You are welcome, Chris Hardwick.
(IN ROBOT VOICE) Exterminate.
You've always been an inspiration to me, because...
I mean, like, our sort of...
We've had this kind of weird
touch-point and then reconnect with our nerdly roots all these years later,
where we actually are pursuing and working in things that we care about.
-Yeah. -Um, but...
You know, like, Wil was working on a web-log.
I was.
-Well, it was more of a web-blog. -(CHRIS LAUGHS)
But I didn't know what it was and that's the thing that...
And then years later, I was like, "I should do a blog. Wil did a blog."
I always feel like you're a step ahead of me.
So I'm following behind, just picking up your crumbs of nerdly treasures.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Really? -I really feel like that.
You just went to England and hung out with Simon Pegg and David Tennant,
and you're picking up my crumbs?
Well, I do have the Tennant trophy right now.
-But, he's still out there in the world for you. -Yeah, right.
Hangs out with Karen Gillan on a regular basis, but you're picking up my crumbs?
Regular basis? Look.
Staring at someone through a window is not really hanging out.
-I mean, that's... -Something's hanging.
-CHRIS: Some... -Yeah.
Still to come, an interview with the 10th Doctor, David Tennant,
more Wil Wheaton, plus we're going to announce our choice
for Nerdist of the Year. We'll be right back.
(MUSIC PLAYS)
Hi, guys. What's the best American remake of a British TV show?
Interesting quemment, British person.
The best American remake of a British TV show? Um...
All in the Family was actually a remake of a British TV show called, Till Death Do Us Part.
-Hmm. -What you got?
Uh, I'm going to go with Three's Company being a remake of,
I think it was called Man About the House.
Oh. Yes!
Man About the House.
Dear John with Judd Hirsch.
What the hell.
Yep, it was British first.
And then it was great on American TV.
-CHRIS: Yeah. -Yeah. Dear John, come on.
Yeah. Monty Python.
CHRIS: That wasn't remade... -What?
-They showed it in America. -Yes, but that's not remaking.
They remade it onto the air.
Yeah, well it was called Fridays.
-That's it. -Oh, my God.
(GROANS)
'70s babies.
Uh, I, I was pretty sure that Keeping Up Appearances was remade in the States
as Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
-Yeah! -What!
Really? This year still? There was still Kardashian stuff, this year.
I really thought that would've died off by 2011.
They are the social equivalent of a hot dog filler.
Why are we still obsessed with them?
Every time I'm in the supermarket,
(STAMMERING) I'll find myself sort of
wandering around and then my eyes will land on the tabloids or something,
or on a magazine and it's just (BLEEP) Kardashians everywhere, and I just think,
why do I try so hard to create art?
Why do I try so hard to add value to the world?
When I could just be a dumb, worthless piece of (BLEEP),
and a multi-multi-multi-millionaire.
-The problem... -It's awful.
It's horrible.
That is the most depressing thing. That's...
The Kardashians are more depressing to me than Hitler.
Someone was brave enough to say it.
♪ Wil Wheaton ♪
When did you realize that you were different. I mean, in the nerdy way.
Like, when did you realize that?
I guess when I knew, like, "Oh, I'm a nerd,"
was when I wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons more than do anything else.
Like, more than video games,
certainly more than riding bikes and doing jumps. I mean, that's cool.
-Yes. -Doing jumps on bikes is great.
Especially jumps on dirt bikes. That's rad.
-For a few minutes. -Yeah.
Uh, but when it was just like,
"I can use my imagination and all the reading that I like to do
"that all the kids at school make fun of me about
-"actually makes me good at a thing." -Uh-huh.
That's sort of when I knew that that's who I was.
Well, I'll tell you... Listen, this is true...
♪ Wil ♪
When I was growing up,
Wil and I were roommates for a long time.
-And, um... -Is my gift Omnibot?
This...
Yes.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Congratulations.
Whoo-hoo.
Uh, and also...
This is something very special. Wil and I spent many Christmases together
an I have a special present for you
-that I want you to have. -AUDIENCE: Aww.
It's fine that you don't have anything for me.
Wait you know what, I do have a present for you.
What? What is it?
MATT: $4?
A 12-sided die.
That is awesome, oh. Thanks, you guys.
-Five. -Roll it to see how crappy that present is.
Two.
Thanks.
-You really got me a present. -I really did. I really did. You're going to...
I think you might lose your mind when you see this.
Karen Gillan's underpants?
Do you remember? Do you remember what this is?
It's... We had... We had our first Christmas tree...
Shut the (BLEEP) up!
-How do you still have this? -I don't know, but I still have it.
We had our first Christmas tree but we didn't have angel to put on top of it.
-Oh, my God! -But we had this walrus oven mitt,
so I made these little cardboard wings
and a halo, we called it Noel, the Christmas Walrus,
and put it on top of the tree. And I'm giving it to you.
-Oh, my God! -I'm giving it to you.
-Uh, so Merry Christmas. -I can't...
I can't believe that he's still alive.
Oh, my God. Dude!
Oh, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Eleven. Wil loved the gift. He loved it.
Wil loved it. That was an eleven.
Uh, right now, it's time for a new signature segment.
Jonah Ray, we have a segment for you.
We want you to talk about your year in music.
Alright. You guys wanna hear about some music albums?
-CHRIS: This is a year-in-review show. -Yeah.
A lot of things happened this year in pop music and rock music.
As we all know, there was a big '90s resurgence this year.
It was the 20th anniversary
of the release of Nevermind by Nirvana.
Twenty years ago, Kurt Cobain single-handedly changed music forever.
And it's also the 17th anniversary of when
Courtney Love tried to change it back.
(ALL LAUGHING)
There's been a lot of reformations.
Soundgarden's back together with Jane's Addiction,
-Nickleback, the band Nickleback... -(MATT APPLAUDS ALONE)
Coldplay came out with an album this year, and they had a song
called Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall,
which I think he stole out of a 14-year-old girl's diary.
It's been a big year for women in pop music.
There's been, on the top of the charts, Lady Gaga,
Adele, Ke$ha, Rihanna,
and it's also the first time in pop music history
where I've not wanted to sleep with any of the women in pop music.
Except I think we all have a chance with Adele.
R.E.M broke up this year, legendary band R.E.M,
which was kind of like hearing about when a celebrity dies,
and you're like, "They were alive?
"And now they're dead? Oh, okay."
Jack LaLanne died? Wow.
You just compared R.E.M to Jack LaLanne.
Yes, yes. They have the same staying power.
Alright, these are the best band names I heard this year.
The Dead Kenny Gs.
CHRIS: Oh, that's good.
Yeah. That's a take-off of Dead Kennedys.
Pterodacdudes.
CHRIS: Alright. Okay.
Ringo Deathstarr.
CHRIS: I like it. WIL: With two Rs?
-Yes -Good.
With two R's. And the best one, I think, Cerebral Ballzy.
-That is a good one. -That is a good band. Yeah, yeah.
So that's what happened this year in the music scene.
You forgot to mention the Dave Matthews Band didn't tour for the first time.
-No, I didn't. -Oh.
We have to take a break, but please don't move
because I got an interview with David Tennant
and Nathan Fillion is standing just off camera, waiting to join us.
We're also going to crown our Nerdist of the Year, so come right back, please.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Welcome back to The Nerdist "Year in Review" special.
We were having heated arguments about the nerdiest things that happened here
and in the UK in 2011.
You're probably going to recognize our next guest from his hit show Castle,
unless you're a Browncoat,
in which case you are saying the word "shiny" right now over and over again,
It's Nathan Fillion!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
-Over here. Over here. -Hey.
Good to see you.
Mr. Fillion.
There we go.
Yes.
Welcome.
-Good to see ya. -Last time we did this...
-Yeah. -...was at my house.
We did do this at your house, yes.
W sat in the...
-Was it the TV room? -Yeah, the TV room, with the microphone.
Wil and I met over Twitter.
-CHRIS: Really? -It's true.
Yeah, we actually met through Twitter, through Felicia Day.
-Kind of our connection through there, -Yeah.
And finally at Comic-Con we met.
-I was geeking out the whole time.
-Really? -As was I.
You were a huge Firefly fan.
Enormous Firefly fan.
I told you, Firefly is the reason
that I was able to convince my wife
that science fiction didn't have to be, like, inaccessible.
-Right. -I've used Firefly as an infection vector.
To turn people into science fiction fans.
-So you're patient zero. -Yeah.
It's really interesting what Joss did, but just the whole idea
is that a space show that's not... (MIMICS LASER SOUNDS)
-You know, but really... -I'd watch that space show.
And that's what it's called, too, Space Show.
-In parenthesis, "Pew Pew Pew." -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The bad guys Pew with red Pews.
The good guys with blue.
We're all huge, huge fans of Firefly.
Then you have excellent taste.
But I love, and maybe this is part of your Canadian good nature,
but I love the fact that you really...
That you really embraced that show and you really still,
care about the fans, after all these years.
That was a big deal to me.
That was a good time. That was... It was...
It meant a lot. So, I'm glad, and I've said this before,
I'm glad that I'm not alone in that it meant a lot.
-Yeah. -To me.
-Doing show. -I think I am alone in that it meant a lot to me.
But you have these great... In your TV room
you have these really great Firefly pieces of art from different artists.
Jason Palmer, Adam Hughes did some wonderful posters of...
It's great when someone who is amazing at what they do,
and they are passionate about something, can make you...
Draw you, it looks like you, only better-looking.
(ALL LAUGHING)
So, yeah, I finally got a place where I can
actually have the room to put them up, and that's what you saw.
Wait, if someone draws you better-looking, it's like a picture of the sun.
I'm kind of uncomfortable.
When you were shooting Firefly, what was going through your mind
-during the process of the filming? Did you feel... -"Don't blow this!"
-Really? -Yeah. It was my first lead on a show.
It was my first one-hour drama, it was my first lead. I just...
No one would give you that chance.
You're always, like, the number four guy
or the lead guy's brother, the lead lady's ex-boyfriend, the...
It was always... You need someone to give you the chance to, you know,
get up there and shine.
And Joss was that guy for me, but I just...
"Don't blow this."
Well, you didn't, and I imagine that Joss is a super nice guy.
-Yeah. -What was it like to work with him?
(SIGHS)
He's this clever guy. And, you know what, I think...
There's a gift. Certainly brains are a gift.
I think there's a secondary gift that comes along with some people that have brains,
in that they can talk to people who don't have the kind of brains they have.
Like with their brains and my not-so brains.
They can talk to you without making you feel stupid.
And that's a gift of Joss Whedon's.
He can be really, really smart and not make you feel stupid about it.
-Yeah. -So, I'd come up with a great idea.
"Hey, how about I do it like this, Joss?"
He'd go, "That'd be great, or..."
-"Just one for me, Nathan..." -Yeah.
-Just do this one for me... -Oh, you see...
-And then we'll do it your way. -He was always smarter.
-It was great. -Do you consider yourself a nerd
or do you feel like you're sort of, uh...
Yes. You know what, my mom always said,
"Nathan, you are a nerd. Your gift is you look mainstream."
(ALL LAUGHING)
-That is a tremendous gift. -Yeah.
-It really is a tremendous gift. -Yeah.
'Cause you have a lot of cool toys and stuff at your place.
-Yeah, right. -Anything you playing right now, that you like?
-Uh, you mean video games and whatnot? -Video games or toys...
I got the Batman: Arkham City I'm trying out.
The new Call Of Duty that I'm really thrilled with.
The new Halo I'm really thrilled with.
Going back to the anniversary issues.
-Oh, yeah. -It's really good. It's really good.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
What are some favorite moments that you had this year, 2011?
As we look back on Fillion's 2011,
what are some fun, key moments?
I've never had a season four of anything.
My television program's doing very well.
Yeah, Nathan. That's a nice thing.
You're one season away from the syndication gravy boat.
-It's coming. It's coming. -Oh, really?
-I can't wait. No, it's good, exciting... -Don't blow it.
I wasn't worried until just now.
"Castle went downhill fourth season.
"I don't know what it was about Fillion."
-"Fillion got real uptight." -"Something got in his head."
(ALL CLAMORING)
He was always inside himself.
Oh, it was the Wheaton infection vector.
-This is a good year for you. -It's been a fun year, yeah.
You go from podcast to this cast?
Yeah, I know. This is slightly more than a podcast. Yeah.
You're on TV now. -I know, it's a tele-o-vision.
Now, people... You know, part of your charm is you have to see you.
What? What?
You have a lovely voice and, you know, hearing your podcast is entertaining,
but I think this... You're a package deal.
Mmm, oh, Fillion. Adorable.
Hey, do you mind if we do a quick prom pose together?
-Done. -Okay.
And now, in just a minute, Kumail Nanjiani
runs down the best video games of 2011,
plus, our announcement of the coveted Nerdist of the Year award,
a thing that you didn't even know existed before today.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Welcome back to The Nerdist year-end Special.
We are celebrating things nerdy from 2011,
here and in the UK. I just wanted to take a picture here
of Wil and Fillion, because Wil gave us an interesting piece
of information at the commercial break, which was what?
You are on my wife's list.
The list of sex-ceptios.
Yup, that's the one.
Is it awkward that it's totally possible she could meet him.
You know what, I'd kind of like that to happen.
All right.
Look, seriously, how many points would I get
if I made that happen. -A lot.
All of them. I would never have to take out
the garbage for the rest of my life.
Is that all you're trying to get out of?
-Well, there's a few other things. -Right.
How do you feel about this?
You know my girlfriend once said to me, let's come up with a list.
And she said, "I'll take Viggo Mortensen and Jude Law."
And I said, "Oh, those are great.
"Um, I'll pick your best friend, Elaine, and your sister, Marty."
Did not fly. Did not fly. -Didn't go so well.
I wanna bring out now, one of my favorite comedians,
and the host of The Indoor Kids video game podcast, which is on The Nerdist network.
Please welcome Kumail Nanjiani.
-Hello. -Hello.
-Yes, sir. -Thank you.
I think you stay there, we'll put Kumail right here,
in the middle. -You don't want this chair.
-Nice to see you, man. -Oh, yeah.
-Welcome, Welcome. -Thanks for having me.
Kumail Nanjiani...
-You like video games. -That's my name.
-What are you playing? -Thanks for dressing up, Kumail.
What, I didn't know it was...
By the way, you look like you're at your grandfather's funeral.
-You're like... -I'm missing my grandfather's funeral.
I'm going to talk about three games that I really loved this year.
That I thought were very significant
Not maybe the best three games of the year,
but three most significant.
Number three, I wanna talk about L.A. Noire.
-Yup. -Which was a Rockstar game.
Yeah, really awesome game, set in 1940s L.A.
And you're a beat cop who sort of works his way up the ranks, and...
It actually had a pretty new game plan mechanic that I hadn't seen,
where you talk to witnesses and suspects and you try...
That's what threw me off, though.
Like, I started playing the game and as soon it asked me if...
If I could determine if some old woman was lying.
I'm like, I don't want to do that in a game.
-I wanna shoot things. -No...
WIL: Just punch her in the face like a real 1940s L.A. cop.
I just hopped in the car and started running (BLEEP) all over Los Angeles.
I recognize that place. Wham!
Here's the thing that you brought. This is interesting, is that...
What makes the game really easy is that, apparently,
1940s L.A. is full of the worst liars in the world.
'Cause you would be like, "Do you sell morphine?"
She would be like... (IN SHAKY VOICE) "What are you talking about?"
"Morphine, can I get you a couple..."
Their nose starts to grow.
Yeah. Exactly. "Can I get you some morphine?"
"I mean 'coffee'?" What do you...
"Do you want two guns of sugar in it?"
The other thing weird about that game is that you start off as a beat cop.
From the beginning you're solving very small crimes.
But it is a video game, so you're still shooting these people dead.
And there's literally like scenes where they're loading the body
into the coroner's van, and the guy's like, "You're a hell of a cop."
Like, really?
I shot a guy in the back 'cause he stole a Kit Kat.
I shot him four times. One for every bar of chocolate he took.
Pretty sure I'm the worst cop in the precinct.
I might be a sociopath.
Weren't Kit Kats made out of *** in the '40s?
Yeah, they did. They had *** in them in the '40s.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
-All right. Well, then I... -Don't feel bad about that.
-No, I'm glad I shot that *** (BLEEP). -Yeah.
-So what else you got? -The other game I...
The best licensed game ever made, Arkham City. Batman.
-Oh, yes. -I haven't played it yet...
Matt played the hell out of it.
Yeah, I beat that in two days.
It's really good. It's actually got a neat story
where they wall off part of Gotham
and they turn it into a prison city called Arkham City,
and they've shipped all the prisoners there,
which I think must really suck for, like, the pot dealers of Gotham.
Like I'm at home watching Cowboy Bebop,
and now I have to deal with the (BLEEP) Joker?
Two-Face? I can't hang with these guys.
The other thing about it is that Batman is,
you know, it's a big point in the game that...
The difference between him and these bad guys is that Batman doesn't kill people,
but the fighting in the game is incredibly brutal.
You can hear their skulls fracture when you put them through a brick wall.
There's a move you can do where you glide off of like a 20-story building
and land on somebody's head, like...
Pretty sure you put that guy in a coma, Batman.
His spine is broken. -Coma is not dead, Kumail.
-It's not dead. -Or maybe it's like...
Like maybe Batman just doesn't know what dead means.
He's, like, "Oh, they're sleeping.
"I can't wait for my parents to wake back up."
"One day. One day."
Where are my Bat-anti-depressants?
When you're fighting people in that game,
the bad guys will taunt you, and one of them says,
"I'm going to make sure your mother doesn't recognize you."
And then I always feel like Batman should have a breakdown.
-He should know. -Damn right.
"Why did you bring that up? You know."
Didn't you say there's an Easter egg in there where they're talking about Lost?
Yeah, there's an Easter egg in Arkham Asylum,
if you have surveillance going, you'll hear the guys
talking about the ending of Lost.
They're, like, "I don't get it, they're just in a church?
"What was that?"
Okay, you mean Arkham City or Arkham Asylum?
-Arkham City. -You mean Arkham City. That's amazing.
And, so what's your number one game this year?
Number one game of the year, hard to escape,
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
Awesome!
By the way, the way you said Skyrim in the beginning of the show,
"Sky-rim," it sounds like a really dirty, like...
That's when someone licks your butt in the air, on a plane.
Yeah, I got skyrimmed. It was great.
I'm currently at level 13, Dark Elf Mage.
And I've killed only five dragons, though.
Yeah, well, that's the awesome thing about this game is that it's...
It's like a huge world and you can kind of do whatever...
Like, it's like real life but no job and there are dragons.
-Yeah. -This game is awesome.
Except the beginning though, it was a little slow.
It took several hours before I was just not
taking potatoes out of dressers and talking to villagers.
Like it took a while before I could...
Well, you know, you didn't have to take those potatoes out of those dressers.
That's one point of health for each potato.
What are you talking about? Every point is necessary.
-Here's the other... -"The potato elf's back."
"Close up your dressers, everybody."
The game is so realistic that my wife and I,
the arguments we have in real life we have within the game.
So... It's true. I'm sort of irresponsible and she's the responsible one.
Like I don't throw out anything.
I have T-shirts from, like, 15 years ago.
And then in the game, she would be like,
"Do you really still need the ancient Dwarven Battleaxe of Fear?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I'm going to use it.
"I'm going to destroy it and learn the Fear Spell and put it into something else."
And then she's like, "Well, then, do it." I'm like, "I'll do it tomorrow."
Or she'll be, like, "We should have kids."
And I'm, like, "There's so many more dragons to kill."
Maybe having kids is the biggest dragon you need to be killing.
I don't have the spell for it yet.
I honestly think... My favorite game of the year
has been Portal 2. I think Portal 2 is probably
not only the best... I just like puzzle games like that.
But I think not only just the funniest game,
but I think one of the funniest written things
I've ever seen in my entire life.
Portal 2 is really good. It's a really fun game.
It's got a new mechanic that's cool, but I genuinely...
Skyrim is like the crowning achievement of mankind.
Like this is why we crawled out of the ooze, Chris.
Like this is the best thing. Like this makes Mona Lisa
look like somebody drew like a smiley face on a trash can with dog feces.
-Kumail Nanjiani, everybody. -Thank you.
Hey, wouldn't you sitting home right now,
like to see all this live. Please say yes.
Please, please like me, please.
Well, now you can. January 6, The Nerdist Podcast Live
goes to D.C. January 28th to San Francisco.
March 2, Boulder. March 3 in Austin.
Tons more dates at Nerdist.com/calendar.
Matt, Jonah and I'll be on the road, so please come see us.
Guys, we're giving out an award on the show this year.
It is Nerdist of the Year.
And there's a handful of nominees.
First of all, Peter Dinklage for Game of Thrones.
And just general badass-dom. Fantasy and larping, (BLEEP) yes!
All right, Neil Gaiman for his nerdy love of the printed word on actual printed pages.
Who is amazing.
Uh, Steve Jobs, of course. Not the Apple guy.
This is a super nerdy guy with the same name we found in Wisconsin.
That guy gets (BLEEP) all the time.
Steven Moffat, for making a stand!
He's been able to make the Doctor Who franchise more popular than ever.
Weird Al Yankovic new album, Alpocalypse. Great year for him.
Also Felecia Day, star of The Guild was also nominated.
Our good friend.
Also Sir Isaac Newton, 'cause why not?
And Andy Serkis, who is the actor they call
whenever they need a creature in a movie.
They call him. He's in Planet of the Apes, Lord of the Rings.
And Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino,
who, uh, had another great album out this year, so...
Those are our nominees for Nerdist of the Year.
Wil, any predictions?
I vote for Felicia Day.
I believe that it is because of
the pioneering work Felicia has done with web series and web video.
Uh, and... And encouraging people
to take their creations, take their ideas,
and just get excited and make them.
-Uh-huh. -I think the effect that she has had,
the fundamental paradigm shift
she has done with The Guild,
is something that the mainstream entertainment industry
is not going to catch on to until it's too late,
and we have eaten all of their lunches.
-She made nerddom sexy. -Yeah.
Yeah. She was like...
You have done your part too, there, you little palooka.
You guys have any predictions, Matt and Jonah?
You know, I am just such a huge Weird Al fan,
and this far in a career to put out an album
that's just as funny as anything that he has ever done or going to be...
And I just saw him the other week at the Pantages Theater,
and it was one of the best live shows I have ever seen in my life.
So that's all.
If you ever get a chance to see him live, you should absolutely take it.
He does costume changes and shows videos and he's...
He does new songs, classic songs, but the new songs are good.
It's not like, "Oh, we've got to sit through new songs."
-The new songs are just as good as the old songs. -I know more about pop music
because of Weird Al.
-True enough. -Yeah.
Oh, P.S., he doesn't age.
-No, he doesn't. -No.
-Vegetarian. -He keeps a painting of Ryan Seacrest in his basement.
Okay. You have enough time to make a quick Hot Pocket
and get back here, but hurry or you're going to miss the announcement
of the coveted Nerdist of the Year award. We'll be right back.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Guys, if you had to take an alien lover from Star Trek,
who would it be?
Oh!
Good question.
-I don't know, there are so many. -I got it.
-What? -Whoopi Goldberg.
-Never Guinan. -(LAUGHING)
-Ah. -I just wanted to say Whoopi Goldberg.
I would have taken one of those pre-programmed robot ladies.
"I am for Kirk."
Only take out the part where they kill you with the touch.
-Yes! -Good idea. Yes.
All you want is a pre-programmed lady.
Just go out with one of Mudd's Women.
I mean, they would just... They'd do whatever you want.
Right. There you go.
-Yeah. -I probably would have gone with the...
(STAMMERS)
The Enterprise voice from Next Gen.
-Majel Barrett? -The computer voice?
-Yes, yes. -Not actually Majel, just the voice.
Just the voice, I mean, you could assemble her
in the Holodeck, if you wanted to.
-Sure? -Yeah.
You could.
Well, listen, guys, voice of experience again.
-Yeah. -There we go.
"The Holodeck..."
When Wesley Crusher fell in love with an alien girl,
she actually transformed herself from a beautiful girl
into a hideous seven-foot-tall monster.
-What? -That's what I call marriage.
Anyway, this month I had a chance to sit down
with the 10th Doctor himself,
also star of Fright Night, which was an amazing movie.
I've loved the Fright Night reboot, by the way, you guys.
It's nice they got Colin Farrell, man.
He did such a great job with it.
Ah, another pillar of the nerd world, Mr. David Tennant.
Here is how that went down.
Finally! It's so good to have you on.
-It's great to be here. -Oh, my God. I am so excited.
Well, I am thrilled to be here. I am glad you could come to my castle.
Everyone in England lives in a castle.
-Yeah, that's... -You should tell America...
Unless you're one of the serf's, in which case you live
in a hole in the ground.
-No, no, no. -Under some fog.
So how does a young boy from the middle of Scotland
say, "I think I am going to move down and give a go at this acting thing."
-Well, I went to drama school in Glasgow. -Okay.
And I worked a little bit in theater there,
and then I just packed up my car
and drove down south to see what would happen, really.
-Seems like it worked out okay. -It's been all right, so far.
Really as performers,
-we are just lifelong freelancers... -Oh, yeah.
-And there is never any... -Yeah.
There is never any security.
Not at all.
No you are only... We are all ***.
Well, especially with you...
-Especially with British... -I am actually also a ***.
-Yeah you have to be. Me, too. -That's how I make money in between...
-I supplement my income that way, too. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What was the audition process? How did the...
Doctor Who, how did that come about?
Well, I was doing a show called Casanova,
that Russell T Davies had written.
And they were working on Doctor Who
at the same time. They'd zip between the two sets.
Because he knew I was a Doctor Who fan of old.
And I had been badgering him, saying,
"Just one episode, I just want to turn up in something.
"I'll do anything. I'll be in a rubber suit."
And he said, "Come over to my place."
I was up in Manchester, I went up to his house,
and Julie Gardner was there and they showed me
a nearly-finished Episode One and rough cut of...
Of the Dalek episode.
They said, so the thing is...
The reason we got you here tonight was because
we are looking to recast the Doctor.
And it just seemed so
absurd, so unlikely
that something I watched since I was tiny,
something I had on my bedroom wall...
I had bought books and drawn comic strips, and they were asking me
to be part of that.
-And you are in a Harry Potter movie. -I am.
-Which is amazing... -Yes.
-Barty Crouch, Jr. -Yes.
Barty Crouch, Jr. is the villain of the piece, really. Although I am...
I'm not necessarily in the film all that much.
You'd be sitting in the side of the set with
Maggie Smith in her witch's hat
and Michael Gambon in his beard, which he would wrap up
-in a Hessian thing between takes. -Oh, that's amazing.
And Alan Rickman. They'd all be sort of swapping hilarious
actorly anecdotes and getting their wands out and zapping.
But it was great fun to be a part of that.
Oh, by the way... I just recently saw Fright Night,
which I probably should have seen sooner, and it was...
-Amazing. -Yeah? Good!
By the way, shirtless David Tenant, well done, sir. Excellent shape.
-Well, I don't know. Please. -My friend, excellent shape.
-No. -Listen, come on.
'Cause also Craig, the director, said, "I don't want any...
"Don't be going into the gym and getting any tans.
"I want scrawny British, kind of gangly look."
But you know, especially in a big movie like that, you've got, like, 150 people
milling around, and you've got to take your shirt off, it's embarrassing.
Especially because the week before the person on that set, the one with their shirt off
-was Colin Farrell, who's carved in marble. -Right.
You know he's this sort of absurd Adonis.
David Tennant, this was an extreme pleasure.
-Oh, likewise. -Thank you.
-Thank you for having me into your castle.
You can come to my castle anytime.
I'm going to be lost in your castle.
I'm not going to be able to get out of here.
I mean once you are gone, I'm changing the security code so it'll be more difficult.
I guess I probably shouldn't leave, then.
I'll just move downstairs and we'll have a weird drama.
I'll call the serfs. They'll throw you out.
I'm tearing up just remembering it.
When we come back, the winner of the Nerdist of the Year will join us on the stage.
Find out who it is in mere seconds!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Welcome back to The Nerdist year-end special,
it's now the moment you've been waiting for...
Or at least the moment I've been waiting for.
It's the Nerdist of the Year.
Someone will walk away with this trophy.
And the winner is...
Sir Isaac Newton.
Unfortunately, Sir Isaac Newton is unavailable to accept this award.
So, we're going to go with the runner up, Weird Al Yankovic.
(ALL APPLAUDING)
You did it, buddy. You did it, come here.
It's okay, it's okay. You did it.
Do you have anything you wanna say?
There's so many people I wanna thank. I'm just blanking right now.
I'm mostly thankful that I just happened to be in the studio audience today.
And I'm also most of all thankful that Sir Isaac Newton isn't alive
to accept this award. I mean how can you compete
with the Law of Universal Gravitation? How do you compete with that?
-I don't know. But you did. -You can't.
-And you won! -I rock.
Weird Al Yankovic, everyone. Congratulations.
Mike Phirman, what are you going to take us out with?
-Something special? -I'm going to play two ukuleles at once.
-You're going to play two ukes at once? -Two ukuleles at once.
-I would very much like to see that -Ready?
He's doing it.
Thank you so much for watching The Nerdist Year-in-Review.
Matt Mira was here, Jonah Ray was here,
Mike Phirman on the band.
Huge thanks to Will Wheaton.
Nathan Fillion. Simon Pegg.
David Tennant, who's so... I would have watched it
even if I hadn't been on the show. This is an amazing year in review.
Thank you so much for watching on BBC America. We'll see you next time on The Nerdist.
Good night.
Enjoy your burrito, everyone!