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Hey everybody, um it's September 30th and sorry, I'm recording this from work, which
is why the background looks a lot different than what you normally see. I know it's been
a little while since my last video and I just wanted to give a quick update. Things are
kinda going okay, we've had some stuff going on at home. We had to put our cat to sleep
and that's been the cause of a little bit of depression and I don't know if that is
related or unrelated to my weight loss stalling, but I kinda like to think that it
is because I've had just some issues with eating more than I should and indulging and
snacking and stuff and it's causing my weight to just kinda stagnate, I think, and my cycle
is a little out of whack and I don't know if that has something to do with it, too.
For the last month and a half I haven't been great. I've really only, maybe, lost like
8 pounds since the last, like, 2 months that it's been since the last video. It hasn't
really been all that good of a time period for me. I'm kind of stammering today because
I don't really have a lot to say, but I just didn't want everbody to think that I forgot
about updating. So I'm trying to get back on track and stop myself from eating certain
things. And it's not like I'm going out and purposely buying this stuff, it's just like...I
see "this" at home, so I go ahead and have it, then I see "this" and I go ahead and have
it. I don't know what's going on. I'm kinda falling back into my old way of eating before
I had surgery, where I thought, "I've been good for so long, I deserve this, I deserve
that," and just letting myself indulge and it's not really working for me. Just kinda
been really angry at myself for how I've been handling that. So, still trying to get to
the gym, and I do. I do really well. I get myself to the gym 3 times a week and I'm still
working out and...but it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere, so I don't know if this
is a stall or if it's something else. I don't know, but...it's been a little bit discouraging
out of this...this funk. Anyway, there's not really much to say. I'm probably going to
get interrupted a lot with my phone ringing and people walking into my office, so hopefully
and people outside my window that's behind the computer screen, they can see me talking
and think to themselves, "Who is Julie talking to? Why is she talking to herself?" So um....yeah.
I really just don't know what to say. I've been really discouraged lately. Right now,
I'm like a size 14, which is really exciting, because I've never been that small before,
and...I'm enjoying it, that I'm here, but at the same time, I'm like...I'm not...satisfied
with this. I don't want to be a 14 I actually had a co-worker ask me the other day, "You're
not planning on losing more weight, are you?" And I was like, "Uh.....yeah, I am! I'm still
a size 14. I'm still technically obese." And she's like, "Well, what do to want to be,
a size 8?" And said, "YEAH! I'd love to be a size 8." You know, it just kinda struck
me as funny, like, I'm still a plus size, I'm still overweight, and yet she thinks that
I should stop, you know. Not that she said that I look too skinny or anything, it's just
that, why would somebody be confused as to why you wanna be at a normal, healthy weight
and not still be a plus size...I don't know. It's really weird. Sorry, there's a lot of
noises going on. I just got an email and my radio is going off and my phone is going off.
There's all sorts of fun noises in this office today! But, um, I've been talking now for
4 minutes and I don't want to go on for too long, but just suffice to say that I'm...I'm
kind of behaving the way that I behaved before I had surgery and that was the whole reason
why I wanted the surgery, so that, you know, indulging and overeating would make me get
sick, that I wouldn't want to do it anymore, and that hasn't happened. I don't get sick
on anything, which is..which is great, cause I don't have to get sick, but at the same
time, it's not great because I don't learn my lesson, which...again is...on the other
hand again, still kinda good because it's supposed to....gonna force me to learn up
here that I can't do that, but I really was looking forward to having the negative reinforcement
of getting sick on certain foods and that's just not happening. So um, anyway, I gotta
try and do better. I currently weigh about...I'm fluctuating for the last 3 weeks between 207
to 209 and what's really discouraging is just the fact that it's so close to being under
200 pounds. But I just can't seem to shave off that last 10 pounds. It's been really
hard. It all started when our cat got sick. And then, in about a week's time, we had to
decide that we had to have him put to sleep and that's been difficult cause he was 17,
so he was, you know, really old, but Steven's had him since he was born...since the cat
was born and that was really difficult for him, difficult for both of us. So, uh, it's
not easy when you do something like that. Um...anyway, uh....I just had to get all that
out. I don't know what else to talk about. Everything else is fine, you know, I mean,
my blood sugar and everything is still fine. My bloodwork at my last appointment, my 6
month post op, all my bloodwork came back normal and so that's all great, you know,
on paper it looks good. It's just my...my own uh..I guess,my own fault for...not doing
what I'm supposed to do. But, um, hopefully the next update will have some better information.
So...but that's it for today. Bye.