Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
PREVIOUSLY ON "VERONICA MARS"...
O'DELL'S WIFE IS CHEATING ON HIM WITH DR. LANDRY,
MY CRIMINOLOGY PROFESSOR.
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM?
Keith: YOU KNOW THE RULES, HONEY. I HAVE TO.
THE SHRINK ASKED IF A LIFETIME WITHOUT A LIBIDO
IS SUCH A BAD THING.
I THINK SHE'S GIVEN UP ON ME.
YOU JUST NEED MORE TIME.
WE CAN TAKE A TOUGH BUT SURVIVABLE AMOUNT OF PAIN NOW
OR STAY TOGETHER AND DEAL WITH UNBEARABLE PAIN LATER,
SO I VOTE FOR THE PAIN NOW.
YOU SHOULD HIRE SOMEONE TO DO THIS.
YOU'RE LUCKY I'M NOT A FARMER.
YOU'D BE OUT PLOWING A FIELD.
WHAT IS MANILA ANYWAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
IS IT A SUBSTANCE, A COLOR MAYBE?
"IN THE KITCHEN, WE'LL DO A NICE MANILA."
I'D SAY MORE LIKE, "BY THE TIME
WE DUG HIM UP, HE TURNED MANILA."
DON'T YOU HAVE TO GET TO CLASS?
ON MY WAY.
OH, AND WIKIPEDIA SAYS,
"NOT A WHAT, BUT A WHERE,
CALLED 'MANILA' AFTER HEMP FROM THE PHILIPPINES."
OH. GOOD MORNING.
GUESS THAT WOULD EXPLAIN
WHY THIS FILING WAS GIVING ME A KILLER BUZZ.
OH.
CAN I HELP YOU, MRS. O'DELL?
I HOPE SO, MR. MARS.
PLEASE, COME IN.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
MY HUSBAND DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?
BECAUSE I KNOW MY HUSBAND.
MRS. O'DELL, I WAS WITH HIM THAT NIGHT.
HE HAD JUST LEARNED OF YOUR INFIDELITY.
HE WAS DRINKING HEAVILY.
WELL, IT WAS IN HIM TO SULK,
TO DIVORCE ME, EVEN,
BUT HE WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS KILL HIMSELF OVER ME.
THE SHERIFF RULED IT A SUICIDE SIX WEEKS AGO.
WHY COME TO ME NOW?
HONESTLY, MONEY.
AS HIS DEATH WAS RULED A SUICIDE,
HIS LIFE INSURANCE IS DENYING BENEFITS.
I'M A WIDOW WITH TWO CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF.
YOU TOLD MR. O'DELL YOU WERE AT A JUNIOR LEAGUE MEETING
THE NIGHT HE DIED.
ARE YOU ASKING FOR MY ALIBI?
IF IT IS A ***, YOU'LL BE ASKED FOR IT REPEATEDLY.
YOUR HUSBAND IMPLIED THAT YOUR JUNIOR LEAGUE NIGHTS
WERE A COVER FOR YOUR AFFAIR WITH PROFESSOR LANDRY.
I WAS WITH HANK...
ALL NIGHT.
LOOK, I DIDN'T KILL CYRUS, KEITH.
NEITHER DID HANK LANDRY.
BUT SOMEONE DID.
WELL, LET ME DIG AROUND.
IF I FIND ANYTHING, I'LL TAKE THE CASE.
THANK YOU.
WOW, THIS IS ONE TRASHED LAB.
ALL IT'S MISSING IS A BIG HOLE IN THE WALL
SHAPED LIKE THE HULK.
SOMEBODY CALLED TECH SUPPORT?
I DID. WE HAD A BREAK-IN.
OUR COMPUTER WAS SABOTAGED, AND IT'S DEAD.
THERE'S A YEAR'S WORTH OF RESEARCH ON THAT HARD DRIVE.
OUR PROFESSOR WILL HAVE MED STUDENTS
PRACTICING AUTOPSIES ON US.
PROFESSOR McGREGOR HAS TO UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.
I LOCKED UP, PAULINE.
DO YOU HAVE A BACKUP?
YEAH. HE'S GONE, TOO.
YOUR BACKUP IS A HE?
25, OUR RESEARCH MONKEY.
HE IS THE RESEARCH.
EVEN IF YOU SAVE THE HARD DRIVE,
WITHOUT 25, THE WHOLE PROJECT IS DEAD.
WE'LL BE DEAD, TOO, IF McGREGOR FINDS OUT WE LOST HIM.
WHO DO YOU GO TO TO FIND A STOLEN MONKEY
AND 20 CONTROL-GROUP RATS?
Veronica: LOGAN ECHOLLS, DON'T YOU GET IT?
EX-BOYFRIEND -- THAT'S YOUR NEW TITLE.
IT COMES WITH CERTAIN RESTRICTIONS.
THIS IS MY FOOD-COURT TIME.
YOU'RE NOT A BREAKFAST PERSON.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN EARLY-LUNCH KIND OF GUY.
CAN'T WE JUST AGREE THIS IS VERONICA TIME?
MAC.
AND THE PEOPLE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY.
VERONICA MARS, PAULINE ELLIOTT AND GIL THOMAS PARDY.
THEY'RE MISSING A MONKEY.
AND 20 RATS.
WE'RE TALKING "MONKEY" AS IN...
"TOUCH MY."
IT'S NOT JUST ANY MONKEY.
PLEASE TELL ME HE PLAYS PIANO.
25 IS A GENETICALLY ALTERED CAPUCHIN MONKEY.
ITS UPTAKE-INHIBITOR PROTEINS HAVE BEEN CODED
TO ALLOW US TO MONITOR CHOLESTEROL BREAKDOWN
AT A CELLULAR LEVEL.
AND HE CAN PLAY "CHOPSTICKS."
EXCELLENT.
ANY IDEA WHO WOULD WANT TO NAB --
UM, WHAT'S HIS NAME AGAIN?
IT'S NOT A PET.
WE DON'T NAME THEM OR WRAP SQUEAKY TOYS UP FOR CHRISTMAS.
HIS RESEARCH I.D. NUMBER IS 25.
YES, I KNOW EXACTLY WHO STOLE HIM.
IT WAS THOSE DAMN PHAT KIDS.
BECAUSE, I TAKE IT, MONKEYS ARE DELICIOUS?
AND, DUDE, "GIRTH-CHALLENGED"
IS THE PREFERRED NOMENCLATURE.
P-H-A-T -- PEOPLE FOR HUMANE ANIMAL TREATMENT.
THEY'VE DONE THIS KIND OF CRAP BEFORE.
THEY LIBERATED HIM
AND TOOK A YEAR'S WORTH OF RESEARCH IN THE PROCESS.
PLEASE, THIS IS OUR FUTURE.
WE NEED THAT MONKEY BACK.
♪ A LONG TIME AGO, WE USED TO BE FRIENDS ♪
♪ BUT I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF YOU LATELY AT ALL ♪
♪ COME ON, NOW, SUGAR ♪
♪ BRING IT ON, BRING IT ON, YEAH ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME WHEN ♪
♪ WE USED TO BE FRIENDS A LONG TIME AGO ♪
♪ WE USED TO BE FRIENDS ♪
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
I CAN'T WAIT FOR WHEN YOU'RE IN A TREE, GOING,
"HERE, MONKEY, MONKEY," AND HOLDING OUT A BANANA,
AND THEN THE BRANCH BREAKS AND HILARITY ENSUES.
IF THERE'S HILARITY, I CHARGE EXTRA.
THINK YOU CAN SALVAGE ANYTHING OFF THEIR HARD DRIVE?
IFFY.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE POURED SOMETHING ON IT.
YOU'VE SOLVED THE CASE.
PHAT IS HAVING A RECRUITMENT MEETING TONIGHT.
SQUARE ONE.
WANT SOME COMPANY?
WHAT?
THIS SOFT SPOT HERE --
IT'S FOR ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL.
OKAY, THE MORE, THE MERRIER.
ALL WE NEED IS ONE MORE ANGEL, AND WE'VE GOT A SHOW.
I'LL COME BY YOUR ROOM. DRESS CRUELTY-FREE.
WE WANT TO BLEND.
GOT IT. OFF TO CLASS.
HI.
HI.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
LOOKING FOR YOU.
I NEED TO FIND WEEVIL.
YOU TWO PALLING AROUND NOW?
I NEED TO ASK HIM SOME QUESTIONS.
MINDY O'DELL DOESN'T THINK HER HUSBAND KILLED HIMSELF,
AND WEEVIL FOUND THE BODY, SO...
YOU THINK DEAN O'DELL WAS MURDERED?
NOT REALLY.
I THINK HE HAD HIS HEART BROKEN AND SHOT HIMSELF.
I SUSPECT HIS WIFE FEELS A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF GUILT.
SO WHY TAKE THE CASE?
I HAVEN'T YET. I'M CHECKING IT OUT.
PHYSICAL PLANT, AFTER 6:00.
HOW DID YOU FIND ME? MY CELLPHONE IS NOT ON.
MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU SOMEDAY.
ACCORDING TO THE PHAT WEBSITE,
WE SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM FUR --
OBVIOUSLY -- DOWN, LEATHER --
THE ONE DAY I FEEL LIKE WEARING A LEATHER MINISKIRT.
IF IT EVER HAD A FACE OR PARENTS,
YOU CAN'T WEAR IT.
SO MY MOLLUSK SHOES ARE COOL?
OH, DOES THIS SAY "CRUELTY-FREE"?
IT SAYS, "I'VE GIVEN UP. DON'T LOOK AT ME."
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
HEY.
YOU GUYS HAVEN'T PICKED A COUNTRY YET --
FOR THE AROUND-THE-WORLD PARTY.
EVERY DORM ROOM DRESSES ITSELF UP
LIKE A DIFFERENT COUNTRY.
PARTY, FUN?
NO?
I PREFER MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON THE FLOOR,
YOU KNOW, NOT IN MY ROOM.
OKAY, WELL, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, LET ME KNOW SOON.
MOST OF WESTERN EUROPE GOES DOWN FAST.
"SINGLE -- SINGLE AND ON THE REBOUND."
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
WE'RE APPROACHING CRITICAL, PATHETIC MASS
IF THE GIRL WHO MOST WANTS TO HOST GENTLEMEN CALLERS
IS THE MOST RECENT VICTIM OF A *** ASSAULT.
WE SHOULD BE OUT THERE!
OR, AT THE VERY LEAST,
NOT BARRING THEM FROM COMING TO US.
[ Sighing ] OH.
OKAY, I GET CRUELTY-FREE, BUT I'M AN ANIMAL, TOO,
AND THE CLOVE CIGARETTES AND NO-BATHING THING
IS CRUELTY TO ME.
OH. NO. NOT YOU. YOU'RE [SNIFFS] FINE.
YOU GUYS EVER BEEN TO ONE OF THESE THINGS BEFORE?
ME? NO.
I COME FROM A MEAT-AND-POTATOES KIND OF FAMILY,
MINUS THE POTATOES.
MY FIRST PACIFIER WAS MADE OF JERKY.
[ CHUCKLES ] WELL, IT COULD BE FUN.
OR IT COULD BE A LOT OF SPEECHMAKING
BY POLITICOS-IN-TRAINING.
OR THAT.
MY NAME IS BRONSON POPE.
I'M THE CHAPTER PRESIDENT OF PHAT HERE AT HEARST.
I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR COMING OUT.
FROM FOOD INDUSTRIES TO CLOTHING TO MEDICAL RESEARCH,
CORPORATE AMERICA EMPLOYS HORRIBLE CRUELTY TO ANIMALS,
SIMPLY TO MAXIMIZE PROFIT.
IT'S A TRAGIC STATE OF AFFAIRS THAT WE FIGHT WITH EDUCATION.
PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE AREN'T THE ENEMY.
THEY'RE THE GOAL.
YEAH?
THIS IS IN ADDITION TO SOME OF THE MORE ACTIVE STUFF?
THERE WAS A RUMOR THAT SOMEONE
LIBERATED SOME RESEARCH ANIMALS.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF WE'D BE DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
WHAT? I RAISED MY HAND.
THAT'S REALLY NOT OUR THING,
BUT IF YOU'RE EAGER FOR ACTION,
HOW ABOUT JOINING US TOMORROW NIGHT
TO LAUNCH OUR LETTER-WRITING CAMPAIGN?
SURE. THAT SOUNDS ALMOST AS GOOD.
YOU KNOW, BRONSON,
THAT PSYCHO BOWHUNTING ROCKER GUY ED ARGENT
IS PLAYING DOWNTOWN TOMORROW NIGHT.
WE SHOULD CONSIDER PICKETING THE SHOW.
YOU EVER MEET AN ARGENT FAN, DARLA?
THEY PAY DOUBLE TO SPIT ON OUR PICKET LINES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO, I CAME IN AT AROUND 7:00.
FIRST, I THOUGHT HE JUST HAD A BENDER
AND FELL ASLEEP AT HIS DESK,
BUT THEN I SAW BLOOD AND THE NOTE.
A NOTE?
YEAH, ON THE COMPUTER.
HE HAD A MEMO ON THE SCREEN, SAYING,
"GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD. ZZZZ."
I GUESS HIS HEAD FELL ON THE "Z."
[ KEYS CLATTER ON DESK ]
IT'S A SHAME, MAN.
HE WAS PRETTY COOL...
FOR A WEIRD, OLD, WHITE DUDE.
SO, UH, WHAT, YOU JUST WANTED TO SEE IF HE LEFT ANY ***?
[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
I THINK I TOLD YOU,
THE MANAGEMENT ASKED IF YOU'D STOP DOING THAT.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S BEEN WRONG WITH YOU LATELY.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU SIDE WITH MANAGEMENT?
OOH, BEST-CASE SCENARIO --
OLD LADY.
WHAT'S WITH YOU?
THAT IS AWESOME! HOW ABOUT A LITTLE LIFE?
WHAT, YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MOPE AROUND LIKE THAT GUY IN --
WHAT'S THAT BOOK WHERE THE GUY'S MOM DIES
AND HE COMES BACK TO JERSEY?
HE'S GOT THAT MOTORCYCLE SIDECAR.
"GARDEN STATE" WAS NEVER A BOOK.
IT WASN'T? OOPS.
SO MUCH FOR THAT PAPER.
BUT IF THIS WERE A BOOK,
THE THEME OF MY ESSAY WOULD BE
THE SYMBOLISM OF HOW YOUR CHARACTER
HAD HIS MAN PARTS RIPPED OFF BY THE VERONICA MARS CHARACTER.
MY MAN PARTS ARE INTACT.
SHOW ME.
WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.
I MEAN, SYMBOLICALLY.
WE'RE YOUNG, SINGLE MEN IN OUR *** PRIME,
AND THE ONLY REASON WHY WE'RE NOT OUT THERE GOING HOG-WILD
IS BECAUSE OF YOUR FEELINGS?
WHAT, ARE WE ON "THE VIEW"?
AM I ROSIE O'DONNELL?
HERE'S SOMETHING I READ.
"TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."
THINK ABOUT THAT.
REALLY, THINK ABOUT IT.
YEAH, WELL, AS A STATEMENT,
IT SEEMS, YOU KNOW, OBVIOUS AND POINTLESS.
WHICH MEANS THAT'S WHAT YOUR LIFE IS.
YOU NEED HELP. I'M OFFERING, OKAY?
NOTHING TOO MAJOR, JUST BABY STEPS.
JUST, PLEASE, LET ME HELP YOU.
HEY.
THANKS FOR COMING.
UM, LICK OR STUFF?
LETTERS ARE THERE, ENVELOPES THERE.
THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.
IF PEOPLE KNEW THAT EVERY RESEARCH ANIMAL ON CAMPUS
IS CAGED, TESTED, AND KILLED,
THEY MIGHT NOT BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
EVERY RESEARCH ANIMAL?
YEAH, THAT'S WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO STUFF.
OKAY, COME ON.
DARLA, HI. I'M VERONICA.
I THINK YOUR IDEA TO PROTEST ARGENT WAS GREAT.
IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH IT, I'M IN.
I DO A WICKED PICKET.
LOOK, I KNOW LETTER WRITING ISN'T ALL YOU DO.
YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL WITH NEW MEMBERS.
I GET IT, BUT, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M READY.
GOOD TO KNOW.
YOUR FRIEND SEEMS PRETTY GUNG HO.
VERONICA?
WHEN SHE PLAYED PEE WEE SOCCER,
SHE MADE HER OWN PENALTY CARDS
SO SHE COULD RED-CARD PLAYERS SHE DIDN'T LIKE.
I'M GLAD YOU GUYS CAME.
I DON'T USUALLY HAVE MUCH FUN AT THESE.
THE LETTER STUFF SEEMS FUN.
[ CHUCKLES ]
DO ME A FAVOR. CASUALLY LOOK OVER THERE.
WHAT?
HOW'S IT GOING?
GREAT.
MAYBE WE SHOULD THROW IN SOME LOW-INTEREST CREDIT-CARD APPS,
REALLY GRAB THEIR ATTENTION.
YEAH, THE LETTER WRITING IS GOOD,
BUT, UH, SOME OF US AREN'T SO PATIENT.
SOME OF US WANT TO GET THE MESSAGE OUT
A LITTLE MORE... ACTIVELY.
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, MAYBE YOU CAN PROVE YOURSELF.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?
JUST SOMETHING THAT GETS OUR ATTENTION.
SURPRISE US.
YOU LOOK SAD.
YOU AND YOUR FRIEND WEEVIL HAVE A FIGHT OR SOMETHING?
JUST THINKING, IF I WAS GOING TO GET DRUNK AND SHOOT MYSELF,
I'D PROBABLY DRINK THE GOOD STUFF FIRST.
SHEESH.
GOOD THING WE DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD STUFF.
DEAN O'DELL DID --
BOTTLE OF 40-YEAR-OLD SINGLE MALT --
SAID HE LIVED IN ANTICIPATION OF DRINKING IT.
SO WHY, IF HE'S GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE,
DOES HE DRINK THE CHEAP STUFF INSTEAD?
YOU HAD A FEW RUN-INS WITH THE DEAN, RIGHT?
WHAT WERE YOUR IMPRESSIONS OF THE MAN?
I...
ADMIRED HIM.
HE HAD CHARACTER...
OR WAS ONE, OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW, JUST...
HOW ABOUT HIS RHETORICAL STYLE?
BUSINESSLIKE AND BLAND?
MORE...OLD TESTAMENT SARCASTIC.
SARCASTIC?
LIKE HE MIGHT LEAVE A DUMB CLICHé AS A NOTE, AS A JOKE?
WHAT DID THE NOTE SAY?
"GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD," TYPED AS A MEMO.
LIKE ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN?
YEAH, WHY?
JUST...
WE HAD TO DO THESE PAPERS FOR LANDRY'S CLASS,
LIKE PLAN THE PERFECT ***.
I GOT AN "A," JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.
AND WHAT DOES THIS --
MINE WAS A FAKE SUICIDE,
WHERE YOU LEAVE A NOTE ON THE COMPUTER,
SO YOU CAN'T CHECK THE HANDWRITING,
AND WRITE SOMETHING CLICHéD SO YOU DON'T STUDY THE MESSAGE.
MY EXAMPLE WAS, "GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD."
HEY, PIZ.
ED ARGENT IS IN TOWN.
THINK YOU CAN PULL SOME OF THAT
OREGON-MOUNTAIN-MAN, KILL-WHAT-YOU-EAT,
GUN-RACK CHARM AND BOOK HIM ON YOUR SHOW?
EVERYTHING NORTH OF SAN FRANCISCO
IS JUST THUNDERDOME TO YOU, ISN'T IT?
IT'S FOR A CASE INVOLVING... A MISSING MONKEY.
THE CASE OF THE MISSING MONKEY?
MM-HMM.
YOU'D BE HELPING SCIENCE AND ME,
AND YOU MIGHT HELP CLASSIC ROCKER
AND CONSERVATIVE WILD MAN ED ARGENT
CONNECT WITH A WHOLE NEW AUDIENCE.
SO EVERYBODY WINS, WHICH IS NICE.
THAT IS NICE.
SO, HOW IS ED ARGENT CONNECTED
TO THE MISSING MONKEY AGAIN?
I DIDN'T SAY, AND I CAN'T. CLIENT PRIVILEGE.
YOU'D BE DOING ME A FAVOR I'D REALLY APPRECIATE.
Pauline: LOOK, 25's FOOD IS GONE.
IT WAS HERE AFTER THE BREAK-IN, AND NOW IT'S GONE.
OBVIOUSLY, THOSE PHAT FANATICS
ARE TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT?
THERE MIGHT BE A SPLINTER CELL.
I'M SETTING SOMETHING UP TO GET INSIDE.
SO, WHAT HAPPENS TO 25...
AFTER YOU COMPLETE YOUR RESEARCH?
THE ONLY WAY TO CONCLUSIVELY PROVE TEST RESULTS
IS THROUGH AN AUTOPSY.
SO...THAT MONKEY GOOD LIFE
INCLUDES A BLINDFOLD AND A LAST SMOKE?
YOU SOUND LIKE ONE OF THEM.
JUST A QUESTION.
OH, A QUESTION LIKE,
"HOW DO WE CURE CANCER OR DISCOVER NEW VACCINES?"
[ DOOR OPENS ]
YOU'VE GOT THE A.C. ON FULL.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE MY NIPPLES, JUST ASK.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY,
"TEMPERATURE AFFECTS RATES OF CARBON ASSIMILATION"?
I DON'T KNOW, EMMY, A BILLION?
FRIEND OF YOURS?
I WAS IN MY LAB UNTIL AROUND 9:00, LOCKED UP.
DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS AND WENT HOME.
I ALREADY TALKED TO CAMPUS POLICE.
I'M SURE YOU DID ALL YOU COULD TO HELP YOUR PAL PAULINE.
THEY HAVE TWICE THE SPACE I HAVE.
FOR WHAT?
TO FIND A PILL SO FAT GUYS IN THE SUBURBS
CAN KEEP EATING CHEESEBURGERS.
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
LOOK, I MAY NOT LOVE PAULINE AND GIL THOMAS,
BUT I'M A SCIENTIST.
I'D NEVER VANDALIZE A LAB, EVER.
HEY, THAT WAS AWESOME, MAN. THANKS A LOT.
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD!
I AM YOUR BIGGEST SUPERBIGGEST FAN.
I JOINED THE NRA
AFTER THEY COVERED YOU IN GUNS MAGAZINE.
I LOVED THAT ARTICLE.
TOTALLY.
THE SECOND AMENDMENT IS, LIKE, MY FAVORITE.
WE WERE SO HOPING TO GET A PICTURE OF YOU
IN OUR SWEATSHIRT FOR OUR CELEBRITY WALL.
ANYTHING FOR A FAN.
AWESOME.
[ SIGHS ]
MAYBE, AFTER THE SHOW, I COULD STOP BY THE SORORITY.
OOH, I THINK THE THETA BETAS WOULD REALLY ENJOY THAT.
OKAY, SAY "MEAT!"
MEAT!
HEY. LOOK AT THIS.
TELL YOUR FRIEND YOU GUYS ARE IN.
3:00, THAT ROOM.
GREAT, YOU'RE HERE. COME IN.
I'VE NEVER BEEN INITIATED BEFORE.
THINK I'LL GET A CODE NAME?
WE REALLY LOVED WHAT YOU DID,
AND WE WANT YOU TO JOIN OUR ANTIFUR CAMPAIGN.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE ONE OF US.
WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO,
SO JUST GO AHEAD AND TAKE THEM OFF.
UH, TAKE WHAT OFF?
YOUR CLOTHES...FOR THE CALENDAR.
YOU ARE COMMITTED, RIGHT?
IT'S AN ONGOING QUESTION IN THE PRIVATE-EYE GAME.
"HOW NAKED ARE YOU WILLING TO GET FOR A CASE?"
THIS CAMPAIGN EPITOMIZES WHAT WE'RE ABOUT.
OH, YEAH, TOTALLY, BUT --
WE KNOW YOU GUYS BELIEVE IN THE CAUSE --
THAT FUR IS THE UNNECESSARY KILLING OF ANIMALS
FOR NOTHING MORE THAN HUMAN VANITY.
SO, YOU WANT TO POSE TOGETHER?
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, YES.
[ CHUCKLES ]
SORRY.
WE DO THIS TO ALL THE REAL GUNG-HO RECRUITS.
BUT WE TOTALLY LOVE YOU GUYS.
THAT ED ARGENT THING WAS GENIUS.
SO, UM...
SOME OF US ARE GOING TO GRAB A BITE,
IF YOU WANT TO COME ALONG.
I'M GOOD. I HAD SOME MINTS.
AH.
SO...YOU HAVE ANY PLANS THIS WEEKEND?
WE HAVE THAT AROUND-THE-WORLD PARTY TONIGHT, REMEMBER?
YOU SHOULD COME.
EVERY ROOM IS A COUNTRY. VERY EDUCATIONAL.
YEAH, GREAT.
UH, WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU GUYS?
HMM?
[ Italian accent ] BELLA, BELLA.
CIAO.
[ "FINICULI FINICULA" PLAYS ]
I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM. LOVE IT.
[ SALSA MUSIC PLAYS ]
OOH, CALIENTE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
SO, YOU'RE PARTICIPATING NOW?
WHAT ABOUT THIS IS CANADA?
UH, OUR ACCENTS, EH?
AND I ALMOST FORGOT ABOOT...
♪ IT'S BEEN ONE WEEK SINCE YOU LOOKED AT ME ♪
♪ COCKED YOUR HEAD TO THE SIDE AND SAID, "I'M ANGRY" ♪
OKAY.
I'M CONFUSED.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE AGAINST THE WHOLE PARTY IDEA.
WE WERE.
AND THEN...
A GUY HAPPENED.
OOH!
NO.
IN A WAY. I DON'T KNOW.
SOMEBODY WAS DOE-EYED, TONGUE-TIED,
AND, DARE I SAY, TWITTERPATED?
HEY, THERE'S ENOUGH GUYS FOR EVERYONE.
MAYBE PIZ WILL SHOW UP.
UGH. GOD, I'M SO OVER THAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS.
I THINK HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND BACK HOME.
IT'S A NEW DAY.
NO MORE GAMES, NO MORE WAITING AROUND.
I'M READY TO BE WOOED!
AMEN, SISTER!
THAT WAS SUPPORTING, NOT JOINING.
I DO NOT WANT TO BE WOOED.
DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT HOW GREAT YOU ARE?
DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE THE LOOK ON SOME CUTE GUY'S FACE
WHEN HE REALIZES THAT YOU'RE NOT ONLY SMOKIN'-HOT
BUT FUNNY AND SMART?
YOU'RE THE CATCH OF THE CENTURY, VERONICA MARS,
AND SO ARE YOU.
ARE YOU SAYING WE OUGHT TO...
MINGLE?
I'M SAYING THERE'S A SADDLE, VERONICA,
AND WE SHOULD BE BACK IN IT.
♪ CHICKETY CHINA THE CHINESE CHICKEN ♪
♪ YOU HAVE A DRUMSTICK, AND YOUR BRAIN STOPS TICKIN' ♪
IT'S JUST HARD WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'VE TRIED YOUR BEST.
YOU KNOW?
I DO. IT'S A ***.
I REALLY WANTED THAT RELATIONSHIP TO WORK.
I WAS COMMITTED, WHICH IS HARD FOR ME.
THINK I SHOULD CALL HER?
CAN YOU EXCUSE ME FOR JUST ONE SEC?
♪ HOW CAN I HELP IT IF I THINK YOU'RE FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE MAD? ♪
SO, HOW'S IT GOING?
I'M TRYING TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. YOU?
I THINK I'VE BEEN AROUND THE WORLD,
AND I WANT MY ROOM BACK.
THIS JUST ISN'T MY SCENE.
CAN YOU MANAGE ULTIMATE BOY QUEST 2007 SOLO?
HE DIDN'T SHOW.
OKAY, EVERYBODY, CANADA IS CLOSING!
SORRY. BORDER-CONTROL ISSUES.
SORRY.
PBHT!
[ MUSIC ENDS ]
[ "LARA'S THEME" PLAYS ]
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO, LIKE, FOR FUN?
UM...I DON'T REALLY KNOW.
YOU PLAY ANY SPORTS OR ANYTHING?
NOPE.
SO YOU JUST, LIKE, HANG OUT?
NOT REALLY.
MY HOBBY IS MORE LIKE A JOB,
WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE A COMPULSION.
BUT IT'S FUN SOMETIMES.
IT DOESN'T REALLY LEAVE TIME FOR WHAT MOST PEOPLE CONSIDER...
MAC?
THERE'S SOMEONE HERE TO SEE YOU.
OH.
HEY. [ CHUCKLES ]
HEY.
I CHECKED HIS I.D. AT THE BORDER,
AND ALL SEEMS ON THE UP-AND-UP.
SO, HOW'S IT GOING?
I'D SAY IT'S BOYS ZERO, ME ZERO!
THINK I'M CALLING IT.
WELL, WE CAN'T GO BACK TO CANADA.
"THE GUY" SHOWED UP AN HOUR AGO.
SORRY I'VE GOT TO GO SO SOON, BUT...
THAT'S WHY I WASN'T DOING MUCH ACTIVISM.
CUTS INTO MY PARTYING.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME
BEFORE I QUIT GREENPEACE AND THE SIERRA CLUB.
JEEZ, WHY ARE YOU SO DOWN ON PEOPLE RAPING THE PLANET?
I MEAN, REALLY.
WELL, THANKS FOR SHOWING ME CANADA.
SURE.
SORRY.
NO, IT'S...
YEAH, WELL, I GUESS I SHOULD GO.
OKAY, BABY STEPS.
JUST SOME DUDES, SOME TASTY WAVES,
AND SOME TASTY BREWS.
IT'S ALL WE NEED.
Young man: WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN?!
THINK I JUST ROLL OUT OF BED LOOKING LIKE THIS?
THIS TAKES TIME.
LOW MAINTENANCE. YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
GETTING CHEWED BY AN ANGRY MOB OF LESBIANS
WHO STICK EGGS UP PEOPLE'S BUTTS?
NO, THANKS.
I'M JUST SAYING,
IT DOES SIMPLIFY ONE'S PERSONAL GROOMING.
ARE WE HERE TO SURF OR SWAP HAIRDO SECRETS?
DUDE, WAIT. CHECK IT OUT.
I THOUGHT ALL I NEEDED WAS SOME DUDES,
SOME TASTY WAVES, AND SOME TASTY BREWS.
WE DIDN'T BRING ENOUGH BEER TO MAKE THEM HOT ANYWAY.
THIS IS DUMB. I BLEW IT.
IT'S OVER.
IT'S NOT DUMB. JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE.
"HI, MY INSANE FRIEND STOLE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE."
IT WASN'T STEALING.
IT WAS MAKING AN EXCUSE TO SEE HIM AGAIN.
SO YOU SAY, "HI, YOU FORGOT YOUR I.D. AT THE PARTY.
"WE'RE GOING OUT, THOUGHT WE'D DROP IT OFF,
AND, HEY, YOU WANT TO COME ALONG?"
YOU WANT ME TO SAY THAT?
MAC, HE TRIED TO KISS YOU.
AND MY LIBI-DON'T KICKED IN.
MAC, HE UNDERSTANDS.
HE SEEMS LIKE A REALLY GREAT GUY --
JUST A REGULAR VEGAN JFK LOOKING FOR HIS MACKIE O.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Amy: HEY, THERE.
HI.
YOU LEFT YOUR I.D.
HERE IT IS.
GOOD SEEING YOU. [ CHUCKLES ]
WELL, HEY, UM, COME IN. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOME RESULTS.
OH, AND THIS IS AMY, EVERYONE.
LETTERS FROM BELLISSIMA COSMETICS.
THEY QUIT ANIMAL TESTING, THANKS TO THE LETTER CAMPAIGN,
BECAUSE THEY MAKE ALL THEIR MONEY OFF OF COLLEGE KIDS.
YOU'RE PRETTY DRESSED UP. WHERE YOU GUYS OFF TO?
UH...
CLUB...
CLUB.
IT'S NEW.
MIND IF I GET A GLASS OF WATER?
YEAH, KITCHEN'S IN THE BACK. LET ME --
NO, IT'S OKAY, I'LL FIND IT.
THAT'S REALLY COOL.
SEE, YOU DID IT.
DID WHAT?
YOU LIVED.
I TOLD YOU, CHICKS ARE JUST A DISTRACTION.
YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THAT BROAD.
YEAH, I'LL ADMIT, THIS HAS ITS CHARMS.
Young woman: HEY!
YOU GOT ANY MORE BEERS?
OKAY, NEW CATEGORY --
HOT ENOUGH.
YEAH, SURE!
HOW ABOUT "CHICKS ARE A DISTRACTION," HUH?
I DIDN'T SAY A BAD DISTRACTION.
HMM.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
APPARENTLY, WE'RE INTO THE CHEAP STUFF.
HMM.
YEAH.
IF YOU GUYS GET BORED OF CLUB CLUB,
YOU SHOULD COME BY GOLDFINGER'S.
I TEND BAR THERE.
DO YOU HANG OUT THERE A LOT?
NOT REALLY MY SCENE.
WE HAVE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT IDEAS...
Might want to grab a drink. His bedroom.
UM, OKAY IF I GRAB A QUICK H20, AS WELL?
IT'S IMPORTANT TO HYDRATE.
YEAH.
[ SIGHS ]
RATS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?
I SAW THEM -- THE TEST RATS YOU LIBERATED.
WHERE'S THE MONKEY?
UM, I DON'T HAVE THE MONKEY, AND I DIDN'T FREE THE RATS.
THEY JUST SHOWED UP.
LIKE, IN A TINY VAN
WITH A SOB STORY ABOUT NEEDING A PLACE TO CRASH?
LIKE, IN A BOX ON MY DOORSTEP.
YEAH, PEOPLE KNOW I'M THE ANIMALS GUY.
IT HAPPENS.
CAN I SEE THE BOX?
SO, AMY SEEMS NICE.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?
UH, 19 YEARS.
SHE'S MY SISTER.
OH.
SO, UM, ARE YOU GOING TO TELL PAULINE AND GIL THOMAS
ABOUT THE RATS?
THEY'RE CLIENTS. I KIND OF HAVE TO.
[ LAUGHS ] BOY, OH, BOY.
YOU ARE BAD.
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT
WITH AARON ECHOLLS' SON.
[ LAUGHS ]
[ Sighing ] OH.
THEY WERE IN A RAT HABITAT IN BRONSON POPE'S BEDROOM.
HE SAID SOMEONE DROPPED THEM OFF.
DROPPED OFF? FUNNY.
WHAT ABOUT 25?
HE SAYS HE DIDN'T GET THE MONKEY,
BUT YOU HAVE THE RAT PHOTOS.
CAN WE GET THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT
TO GET A SEARCH WARRANT?
[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]
EXCUSE ME.
HELLO.
Mac: Veronica, I think I found something interesting
in this hard drive.
WE GOT A REPORT ABOUT SOME STOLEN RATS.
GOT A WARRANT.
HEY!
SO, YOU KNOW, I FIGURED SOME SORT OF LIQUID
WAS POURED OVER THE COMPUTER WITH ALL THE RESEARCH ON IT.
I HAD TO REMOVE THE RAM CARD TO LET IT DRY OUT, BUT --
YOU TOLD BRONSON?
THE COPS RAIDED THE PLACE, AND THE RATS WERE GONE.
I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO GET INTO TROUBLE.
I BELIEVE HIM. I'M SORRY.
I FOUND THESE ON THE MOTHERBOARD.
LOOKS LIKE LITTLE LEAVES.
DO YOU THINK IT MEANS ANYTHING?
OH, GOOD, YOU.
WE FOUND THESE IN PAULINE AND GIL THOMAS' HARD DRIVE --
SOME SORT OF LEAVES.
ANY IDEA WHERE THEY MIGHT HAVE COME FROM?
[ SIGHS ]
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU JUST NARROWED DOWN THE SUSPECTS
TO ANYONE WHO HAD ACCESS TO GREEN TEA.
GREEN TEA?
I STOLE IT OFF 25's CAGE A FEW WEEKS AGO.
THE SOUND WAS DRIVING ME NUTS ON THE WEEKENDS.
[ SQUEAKS ]
[ SIGHS ]
IN THE MOVIES,
WHEN THEY PIECE BACK TOGETHER SHREDDED MAGAZINES,
THEY ALWAYS FIND AN ADDRESS STICKER.
ALL I'VE FOUND ARE NEAR-NAKED LADIES.
DID YOU NAME HIM?
IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?
[ CHUCKLES ] NAMED WHO?
25.
I HEARD HIM BEHIND THE DOOR.
SOUNDS LIKE HE MISSES YOU.
[ SQUEAKS ]
[ CHEEPING ]
THERE WERE TEA LEAVES IN THE HARD DRIVE.
YOU JUST GRABBED THE HANDIEST THING AROUND
AND POURED IT IN THE DRIVE?
PAULINE'S THE ONE WHO DRINKS TEA.
BUT I'M GUESSING SHE DOESN'T SUBSCRIBE TO..."LAD" MAGAZINES.
WHEN REASSEMBLED,
THE SHREDDED PAGES FROM THE RAT BOX
WERE MOSTLY ALMOST-NAKED BABES
MAKING ALMOST-NAUGHTY QUOTES.
YOU KNEW YOU COULD PIN THE BREAK-IN ON PHAT,
AND YOU KNEW BRONSON WOULD TAKE CARE OF YOUR LAB RATS.
[ CHEEPING ]
I STARTED COMING IN ON THE WEEKENDS
TO CATCH UP ON WORK.
I BOUGHT HIM A FEW TOYS,
LET HIM PLAY WITH THEM WHILE PAULINE WASN'T AROUND.
HIS FAVORITE, BY THE WAY.
ALWAYS HAD TO TAKE IT BACK BEFORE I LEFT.
ONE DAY, I'M HALFWAY OUT THE DOOR,
WHEN I TURN AROUND AND HE'S HOLDING IT OUT
THROUGH THE BARS FOR ME.
HE KNEW I WAS LEAVING.
YOU KNOW WHY WE DON'T NAME THEM?
BECAUSE, TO DO THE WORK,
WE HAVE TO TURN OUR COMPASSION OFF,
BECAUSE THINGS ARE HARDER TO KILL
WHEN THEY'VE GOT A NAME.
VERONICA MARS...
MEET OSCAR.
[ CHEEPING ]
OH, VERONICA, THIS IS, UH, PROFESSOR McGREGOR.
YOU SAID YOU HAD NEWS.
UM...
HERE'S YOUR CHECK BACK.
I WASN'T ABLE TO FIND HIM, I'M AFRAID.
OH, THOSE IDIOTS AT PHAT!
THEY'RE PAVING THE ROAD TO HELL.
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS,
MAC WAS ABLE TO RECOVER MOST OF YOUR HARD DRIVE.
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD,
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GETTING HIM BACK.
I SAID I THOUGHT WE WERE.
WELL, THE DATA COULD STILL BE USEFUL AS A COMPARISON.
IF WE CAN RUSH-ORDER ANOTHER ONE --
YEAH.
WE SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER MONKEY IN ANOTHER...SIX DAYS.
SCIENCE MARCHES ON.
MAC!
HI.
HI. BRONSON.
I WAS JUST -- WASN'T JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
I WAS MORE ACTUALLY COMING BY BECAUSE I WAS WONDERING --
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, OR ASK, IS, I GUESS...
DO YOU LIKE MOVIES?
UM, YEAH.
BECAUSE THEY'RE DOING "2001" IN 70-MILLIMETER TOMORROW NIGHT.
YEAH. LET'S GO.
UM, OKAY.
GREAT.
[ CHUCKLES ] BYE, THEN.
Piz: IT'S KIND OF LAME,
BUT A REALLY HOT GIRL BAND IS PLAYING AT THE ROXY.
SO THEY ALL WENT OUT TO TRY AND SCORE,
WHICH IS BOTH NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN AND RIDICULOUS,
SO I JUST TOOK A SHIFT TO GET OUT OF IT.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I MEAN, DIFFERENT TEAM, SURE,
BUT THE WHOLE CHASING, HOOKING-UP,
PEOPLE-GO-ROUND...
PARKER HAS BEEN GOING NUTS,
LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF FREAK
BECAUSE I'M NOT GRABBING ANYTHING WITHIN 10 FEET.
TOTALLY. IT'S LIKE MUSIC.
I LOVE MUSIC,
BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT AT ALL TIMES
AND ANYTHING WILL DO.
I'M NOT GOING TO THROW IN A HASSELHOFF CD
JUST BECAUSE I LEFT MY NICO CASE IN THE CAR.
LIKE, WHY BOTHER WITH SOMETHING THAT'S NOT GOOD?
BECAUSE IF IT'S NOT GOOD...
...IT'S BAD. EXACTLY.
[ SIGHS ]
BUT THESE GUYS WERE ALL LIKE,
"AS LONG AS SHE'S GOT A PAIR OF..."
YOU KNOW, IT WAS INDELICATE.
WHAT'S INDELICATE ABOUT SHOES?
I FIGURE, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW WHAT I LIKE.
WHY WASTE MY TIME?
LIKE, WHY BOTHER WITH SOMETHING NOT GOOD
JUST BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING?
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE,
WHICH NOT MANY PEOPLE DO.
I MEAN, DO YOU?
I...
I THINK I DO.
SEE, I THINK THAT'S LIKE 90% OF LIFE,
JUST KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]
♪ ...EVERYTHING I KNOW ♪
♪ TO TRY AND MAKE YOU MINE ♪
SCOTCH, PLEASE.
♪ AND I THINK I'M GONNA LOVE YOU ♪
♪ FOR A LONG, LONG TIME ♪
IT'S A HELL OF A SONG.
[ CHUCKLES ]
THANKS.
WISH SOMEONE FELT THAT WAY ABOUT ME.
YOU MARRIED?
NOPE.
INVOLVED?
SOMEWHAT.
TO WOMEN.
WOMEN.
WHAT'S SHE LIKE?
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT ARE THEY ALL LIKE?
CRAZY. OR WE ARE. I HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET.
PROBABLY US.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU EVER DID FOR A WOMAN?
♪ ONE RESPONSE FROM YOU ♪
I KNEW THIS GIRL ONCE --
BEST-LOOKING WOMAN THE WORLD HAD EVER PRODUCED,
AS FAR AS I COULD TELL.
SHE TELLS ME HER EX-BOYFRIEND IS BOTHERING HER,
ALWAYS SHOWING UP AT THE SAME PARKING LOT
SHE HANGS OUT IN WITH HER FRIENDS.
SO ONE NIGHT, I WENT AND I FILLED
A JELLY JAR WITH GASOLINE, STUCK A RAG IN IT,
FIGURING, "MOLOTOV COCKTAIL --
"I'LL LIGHT THE GUY'S CAR ON FIRE.
"NO MORE BOTHER IN THE PARKING LOT.
SHE'LL BE IMPRESSED."
YOU TORCHED A GUY'S CAR?
YOU EVER LIGHT A RAG SOAKED IN STRAIGHT GASOLINE?
THING EXPLODED IN MY HANDS.
I TORCHED MY CAR.
MUST HAVE BEEN A HELL OF A GIRL.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?
HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
THAT WHY YOU PUT THIS SONG ON, KEITH?
I READ YOUR BOOK,
ALL THE WAY TO YOUR PICTURE IN THE BACK.
SO, NO, I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT --
LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,
KILL CYRUS O'DELL FOR A WOMAN.
I WROTE A BOOK, TOO, ABOUT PROFILING --
READING PEOPLE.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT.
♪ WHO KNOWS THE CAUSE? ♪
Keith: I'VE THOUGHT IT OVER, MRS. O'DELL.
I'LL TAKE THE CASE.
GOOD. THANK YOU.
SO, UH, WHAT MADE UP YOUR MIND?
JUST...
...THE SCOTCH.
Piz: HAH.
AND GOOD MORNING.
OH, MORNING, PIZ.
I WAS ACTUALLY FIGURING, YOU GOT DINNER LAST NIGHT,
MAYBE I COULD SPRING FOR BREAKFAST.
OH, UM, ACTUALLY --
AS ORDERED.
HEY, PIZ, WHAT'S NEW?
UH, NOTHING, APPARENTLY.
I'LL, UM, I'LL LET YOU GUYS...