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Angie, how else can
I say it? I don't want lunch.
Yes you do.
No, I don't.
Synchro: ShalimarFox, Kiry
Come on.
Did anyone ever tell you
you're a big old grouch?
You're the first.
At least you're a big old
sexy grouch.
Come on. Please?
They have pancakes here.
Angie!
I just killed your husband
an hour ago.
I don't want pancakes.
So what?
Come on. You're gonna go on the run
on an empty stomach?
Look, I own
half a car dealership now.
I'm rich. I'll buy.
Are we getting all this?
If you're asking
if I can do anything
about this truck noise
in the background, i'm not a magician.
It's not going in a festival.
I was just asking
if we were recording or not.
Really?
I can't decide
what's more nauseating.
Her trying to kill her husband
or watching her
come on to provenza.
Chief. We have guns.
We can stop this.
And then we just wait
for proof that he's dead.
Proof?
Proof?
Here's his wallet.
The proof we agreed on.
Now, here. You take the wallet.
Now, you give me the $20,000.
No. No, I'll give you
the money when
the cops call me and say
that they found the body.
- Lt Flynn.
- Already on it, chief.
- Hello?
- Yes. Hello.
Is this ms. Anush Serabian?
It's Angie Serabian. Yeah.
Yes, this is
lieutenant Flynn of the L.A.P.D.
- It's a cop.
- Don't say where you are.
- Hi
- Hi. Are you sitting down, ma'am?
No, no. Actually, I'm standing,
in a parking lot in Bakersfield.
Listen, I'm sorry
to have to tell you this,
but your husband was shot
in an apparent robbery,
and he's dead.
Oh!
Oh! Oh, no!
Oh, my god! I don't believe it!
Okay. Okay.
Now, give me the money.
All right. Don't be so pushy.
Now,
that's what
i'm talking about, Angie.
Money is exchanged.
And so ends another Provenza date.
George, y... you're really
gonna call me, right?
Oh, Angie, baby.
I promise.
You have not seen the last of me.
George. Cut it out.
Angie Serabian, you're under arrest for
the attempted *** of Alex Serabian.
Hands on the car.
- What are you talking about?
- You have the right to remain silent.
If you refuse to remain silent,
anything you say
can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
Get your hands off me! Stop it!
Ms. Serabian, I'm deputy chief
Brenda Leigh Johnson of the L.A.P.D.
Let me tell you something.
I'm not here to kill anyone.
I'm here on a date.
You tell them, George!
Thank you. Thank you.
Hold the applause.
I'm here all week.
You lied to me!
He... He didn't tell me
he was lying,
so you can't arrest me.
Ms. Serabian, sign this waiver,
or I'll be forced
to leave you in bakersfield,
and it'll be at least a week
until you're arraigned in LA.
- I'm not signing anything.
- Angie,
sign the waiver, sweetie pie.
And I tell you what.
We'll drive back together,
and I'll even throw in
a nice, romantic lunch.
You sure it's not
gonna be too hot in there?
What? Melt the videotape? Nah.
Here.
- This is not your property!
- I need the wallet.
Oh, please. Not with
that stupid thing again.
Listen, all my evidence is in here,
and I'm taking no chances.
- You know what I can tell about you?
- What?
- You hate women.
- No. Just you.
- Come on.
- You're pinching my arm again.
- Here we go.
- No seas una ***!
Who are you calling a *** for?
Tu perra!
Rosie, you been riding us
all day, girl. Chill out.
And now you're taking his side?
Whatever, man.
Yeah, I'm gonna take his side,
perra. Get used to it.
I'm not even hungry anymore.
I can't believe you lied to me, George.
George didn't lie to you,
Angie. I did.
- And my name isn't george.
- Well, what is it, then?
Lieutenant.
You know, you need to quit
laughing and judging me.
I was in a really bad marriage.
Listen, sweetie.
Between us, we've been stuck
in six bad marriages.
We just didn't choose
to *** our way out.
Though I understand the urge.
I bet your wife
never cut up your credit cards
or made you feel
like a cheap ***.
Or made you dance naked
in front of your A.A. Friends.
Your husband
let you have credit cards?
What's gonna happen to me, George?
Oh. Angie,
it's not gonna be that bad.
You'll be off to parker center.
You'll like that.
They're gonna
take your picture, they're gonna
fingerprint you,
and they're gonna book you.
I mean, who knows?
Be a gas.
What's gonna happen to me
after that?
Then we give the surveillance tape
and the 20 grand over to the D.A.
Do you really think you have enough
evidence to put me in jail?
Are you serious?
Once the jury sees the evidence
that we have in that car,
you're out of here. Am I right?
- Now what did you lose?
- Cellphone.
I left it in the car.
You know, you should be really worried
about your friend George.
I mean, I had to tell him three times
where to find my husband.
Don't worry about him.
That guy's at the top of his game.
Look, you got to order
something off the menu,
because starting tomorrow, it's gonna be
nothing but powdered eggs and burritos.
Do you think all the evidence
was in the car?
Every bit of it.
Oh, my god.
Maybe I should call the cops.
The real cops, right?
Too bad for you... And great for me!
Am I sorry that we ruined
your afternoon off?
You betcha.
But, chief, if I tried,
I mean, I couldn't count
the number of things
that went right today.
Start with the things that didn't,
like how you lost
the evidence we need
to prosecute an open-and-shut
case of attempted ***!
Brenda, the evidence isn't lost.
It's just... Out for a joyride.
I don't need sarcasm.
I need the evidence.
Don't look at me, the FBI stopped
manufacturing evidence in the late'90s.
Chief, have we suffered a setback?
Unquestionably.
But even if, God forbid, even if
we never find
the video or the money...
Or my car...
Angie serabian
can still be prosecuted.
He's right.
With a little finesse,
Angie could confess.
You must have
a little more faith than I do
in the lieutenant's... Charisma.
How could you do this to me?!
- I don't know what...
- How could you do this to me?!
For 25 years,
I give you everything.
A house, a car, new ***.
And this is how you pay me back?!
You ***! You're a....
Commander, what is going on here?!
Mr. Serabian
wanted to retrieve his wallet
and meet the arresting detectives.
Up till now, I had no idea
about this afternoon's
complications.
Is that... my shirt?
You give him my lucky dice shirt?
Do you see the mother you have?
Commander, please remove Mr. Serabian
and his family this instant!
Wait!
You, in my shirt
How much money
did she give you to kill me?
$20,000.
Where did you get that kind of money,
except by stealing it from me?
Oh, my god. I don't know
anything about any money or...
Or any attempted ***, either.
Ms. Serabian,
my entire squad saw you
give lieutenant provenza here
an envelope of cash
'cause you thought
he murdered your husband.
And as soon as I know
where you got that money,
i'm gonna be
halfway to convicting you.
Ms. Chief...
Perhaps if you could
give my brother his wallet,
we could all go home now?
Yeah.
Look, Mr. Serabian,
we want to thank you
for giving us your wallet
to assist in the arrest
of your wife.
Unfortunately, it was stolen,
along with all the other evidence,
so you... You might want
to cancel your credit cards
and things, and...
Oh, god.
How inept are you people?!
You wouldn't believe this bunch.
Chief johnson, a word.
Stay.
Where did you get the money?
I entered your picture
in an ugly contest,
and you won the grand prize.
Since you cannot hold her
more than 48 hours after booking,
you might want to consider
releasing her now
and then bringing her back in
when you have a chance
to locate the missing evidence.
Detective Sanchez, please take
ms. Serabian here to processing,
and let me know
when she's ready to be released.
And, Mr. Serabian,
you are staying right here.
Ha ha. I get to go home.
Bye, Georgie.
So...
That's it?
No. That's not it.
She'll probably try to kill you again.
The operation
was entirely successful.
*** was prevented.
However...
In the aftermath,
there was a small complication.
While buying food for the suspect,
lieutenant Provenza's car...
With all the evidence,
was... Stolen.
Y... you're kidding, right?
And because I believe that ms.
Serabian remains capable
of carrying out
her ***-for-hire plans,
we need to protect the husband while
searching for...
Lieutenant Provenza's car.
You do realize that the longer
the evidence is out there,
the nearer to impossible
it will be to admit it at trial?
Just do what you have to do.
I'll sign off on whatever you need.
You will?
Yes, with this understanding:
If this situation
is not completely resolved
within 48 hours,
I will expect Provenza's
resignation from your division.
That is completely arbitrary!
Lieutenant Provenza is
an invaluable second-in-command!
Who gets paid more than anyone else
in PHD, except for yourself.
Can you honestly tell me
that he's worth it?
- Absolutely.
- Or, is it
possible that your misguided
attachment to him
is based on your fondness
for him as a person?
Excuse me. The clock's ticking.
Why am I still here?
For the umpteenth time,
it's for your protection.
From my nutjob wife?
A woman dumb enough
to hire a cop to kill me?
Look, as soon as we get
the okay from the chief,
we're all gonna move to a motel.
And spend the night
with you two idiots?
No, thanks.
I have my own gun,
and I know how to use it.
No, no, no. Flynn,
if he wants to go, let him go.
He's driving me crazy. And, I mean,
we can't hold him here, anyway.
Thank you.
And the $20,000 that you lost
If it came from me,
you're paying it back!
I'll send you a claim form.
And I want my shirt.
You let him walk out of here,
just like that?!
Chief, he complained for an hour.
We couldn't lock him up.
Where's ms. Serabian right now?
Almost through processing, chief.
With the husband out,
do you want us to hold her?
No.
Sergeant Gabriel and I will follow her.
Thank you.
Have we found the young man
who stole lieutenant Provenza's car?
No.
But, we did find his girlfriend,
who paid by check at the pancake house
Ms. Lucy Santacruz,
lives at 84th and Mckinley.
Stakeout in progress.
Detective Sanchez, would you please
press ms. Santacruz a little?
Maybe we could hurry things along.
Thank you.
Chief, instead of Sanchez, maybe
i should be looking for my car
and then kick the ***
of those punks who stole it!
As much as I'd like to see you
break your own record
for procedural violations
in a single shift,
i'd prefer
if you and lieutenant Flynn
found Mr. Serabian
and kept him under surveillance.
Do I need to explain how that's done?
With our luck, she's probably
calling in another hit.
I don't know.
I don't have the slightest idea
how this woman's mind works.
What I wouldn't give
to see the egg she hatched from.
Kid says his father
went for a sandwich
on the way to his office.
Apparently, dad didn't want
to be home when mom got back.
Angie still lives here?
Yeah, in the guest cottage.
The *** lives in the main house.
Must make for some happy
reunions in the driveway?
You want some?
Oh. No, thanks. I just ate.
So, can't we prosecute angie
without the tape?
I mean, I don't understand.
We all heard what she said.
I think a jury would believe
the attempted-*** part,
but now that lieutenant Provenza
lost the cash that angie gave us,
the ***-for-hire part
goes out the window.
And maybe I should
just toss him out after it.
Get rid of lieutenant Provenza?
You serious?
I wish I were, sergeant.
It would make life
a whole lot easier.
Here we go.
She left her car in bakersfield.
What do you think she's doing here?
Picking up
a set of keys to a loaner or something?
Lieutenant, are you following us?
We're looking for Alex Serabian,
just like you asked.
His son said
he was on his way here.
"A-L-E-X-J-A-G."
That's his car.
- Alex Serabian is here?!
- Yep.
For heaven's sakes!
Help me!
Angie! Angie! Angie!
Someone shot my husband!
Angie! Angie!
Help me! Oh, my god!
- Help me! Help me!
- What? What's going on?
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
I'm... I'm rich!
I'm rich!
I'm rich!
Oh... no.
Okay.
Now we have to get serious.
Morning.
Any news on lieutenant Provenza's car?
The girl from the pancake house
gave up her boyfriend/car thief,
and Sanchez is staking out
the dirtbag's apartment right now.
OK. And what did we hear
from the medical examiner?
The bullet that killed
alex serabian was a.32 caliber.
Went straight through his heart.
T.O.D. Was estimated around 8:45...
Roughly 15 minutes
before you arrived on the scene.
Oh, for heaven's sakes. 15 minutes?
Add that to the fact
that we saw Angie Serabian
walk in and out
and didn't hear a gunshot
and she tested negative
for gunshot residue.
So it's virtually impossible
that she murdered her husband herself.
Search of the premises
turned up a wall safe,
which the victim's brother
opened for us.
We found Alex Serabian's passport,
a small amount of cash.
No sign of a *** weapon, but
the gun Serabian had registered to him
was a.32 caliber walther.
Same caliber as the one that shot him.
So it's possible
that Mr. Serabian's gun
was used against him.
Any leads on where
ms. Serabian got her money?
Nothing, but S.I.D. Found
a considerable amount of cash
in a desk drawer
in Alex Serabian's office.
- Want to guess how much?
- $20,000 seems to be the magic number.
To the dollar.
All right, I want to know if
ms. Serabian hired anyone else
to *** her husband.
Lieutenant Provenza, did she
mention anyone else to you?
Nope.
No.
OK. Where is ms. Serabian now?
She's in interview 2,
gabbing on her cellphone.
I mirandized her
and figured it was okay
for her to keep talking
while buzz recorded her.
Thank you.
Morning, everyone.
How are we doing
with our attempted ***?
Very well. Very well.
C... case closed.
Excellent. And has the husband
been notified?
More or less.
Oh, my god.
With me. With me.
Well?
Well, we picked up one of the guys who
stole your car, but he's not talking.
- Where is he?
- Interview 1, sir.
Thank you, Sanchez.
Even if the evidence is never recovered,
we still have witness statements
from our officers.
Yeah, and there's nothing
more persuasive to a jury
than the statements of
the officers who botched
the case in the first place.
- What was what about?
- What was what about?
He just walked out of here
with a picture of your mother.
He's awfully fond of my mother.
Hey, idiot.
Do you know me?
I said, "do you know me?"
No, man. I never seen you before.
Well, then...
Do you know who this is?
Your daughter?
No.
No.
This is the sweet little old lady
that you brutally murdered
and cut into tiny pieces.
What are you talking about?
You stole her car.
You must be the one that killed her.
I didn't kill no old lady, man.
That car was just sitting...
So, you admit it.
You admit it. You stole the Civic.
*** left us
in the middle of nowhere.
We needed to get home, but I didn't
kill nobody. Where're we going?
If you don't want to be under arrest
for 1st degree ***, you're gonna
take me to that car, and you better hope
there's no blood in it,
you little pissant!
He is going to be the death of me!
Yeah. I know, Marie.
It's just terrible. I know.
Yeah, it was all my fault.
Yeah.
Because it was my idea
to get the white couch.
Yeah. I know.
It picks up everything.
Yeah.
Uh, marie, I got to go.
Yeah. It's the police.
No.
They're totally clueless.
All right. Bye-bye.
Can we get you anything, Ms. Serabian?
Something to drink?
Well, Champagne, might be nice.
I think the celebration
is a little premature,
considering that you were
the last person
with your husband
before he was discovered dead.
You followed me
the whole time.
Explain how I killed Alex
with you guys watching me.
I just thank God you're the worst
police department in the whole world.
Ma'am, we will eventually prove
that you paid someone
to *** your husband.
If I really wanted to get
someone to kill Alex, right,
do you think I would ask George?
I can't say.
But have no fear...
We are aggressively looking into that.
Well, you really need
to speed things up,
'cause I got a big funeral to plan.
And I'm gonna go to Canyon Ranch.
Last time you left here,
things didn't go so well,
so you will not be leaving here
again anytime soon.
All right, well, fine. But...
I really need somewhere
to plug in my charger, then.
Sorry.
We're gonna be needing this.
See? Just like inside the car...
No blood.
Where's the money
that was in that envelope?
- Gas and beer.
- Gas and beer?
You didn't spend 20 grand
on gas and beer.
What 20 grand? It was only
a few hundred in real money.
- The rest was fake. Check it out.
- Look at this! Serabian cash.
Little Creep just might be
telling the truth.
- These are photocopied. Look.
- I can't believe it! She ripped me off!
Who can you trust
these days?!
Wait, wait, wait. Ah! Ah! Flynn!
Eh? Wait.
Thank God Almighty!
We're back in business!
Now... Now you got
what you want. Can I go?
Can you go?
No, you can't go!
You stole my car!
Your car?
What happened to the old lady?
Did anyone ever tell you
you're a big old grouch?
You're the first.
But you know what?
At least you're a big old sexygrouch.
Thanks.
Come on.
They have pancakes here.
Angie!
I just killed your husband an hour ago.
I don't want pancakes.
Really? You're gonna go on the run
on an empty stomach?
Come on.
I own half a car dealership now.
- I'm rich. I'll buy...
- ... point that thing at me, payaso!
Can't you see I'm driving?
- Where we going, anyway?
- Don't worry about it.
Hey, bro! Wasting the beer, man!
Bro, bro,
this car smells like my grandpa.
Your grandpa stinks!
I assume we're no longer looking
at footage of the sting operation.
- Chief, should I fast-forward?
- That would be a good idea. Thank you.
Chief, sorry to interrupt.
Detective Daniels found something
I think you should see.
A bill from Perma Safe Security
for installation of a wall safe?
And a floor safe we knew nothing about.
Yeah, boy!
You tell them, George.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Hold the applause. I'm here all week.
- You lied...
Well, it's not a total loss.
We shouldn't have
any trouble prosecuting the guys
who stole lieutenant Provenza's Civic.
Good luck wrapping this up.
And, chief Johnson...
Ticktock.
What does that mean,
"ticktock"?
It's the sound of the clock...
Running out on my career.
The reason I didn't mention it
last night
- is because I didn't know it was here.
- You can't drill through the top,
and jackhammering the safe
will take at least two hours.
Or we can pull it out
in about five minutes
by hooking a cable to a tow truck and...
Time is money, Mr. Serabian.
Do I use the tow truck, or are you gonna
give me the combination?
I told you... I don't know it.
This is gonna be fun.
Perfect!
Okay. What do we have here?
This looks like
Alex Serabian's walther.
With one bullet missing. But good luck
getting prints off of this.
I'm guessing there's $5,000
in each bundle. And I've got the will.
The portion I highlighted
is what you were interested in.
Uh, sergeant Gabriel, where are we
with Ms. Serabian's cellphone?
We checked all her calls
over the last three days,
and none of them seem like
potential accomplices.
Chief, I read the brother his rights,
and I put him in 1.
Thank you. Thank you, Detective.
Um, sergeant Gabriel, interview room 1.
Meet you there.
And, uh...
Has anyone seen lieutenant Provenza?
Uh, chief...
The last I saw, he was in electronics.
So, who had the combination, chief?
The killer.
If you think I blame myself
for that *** being dead,
well, I don't. I blame that crappy
steering-wheel lock.
If that thing had worked the way it was
supposed to,
none of this would have happened!
Lieutenant, there's no time left
to consider how we got here...
Only how we get out, and if we can,
how we do it with a bit of dignity.
It is way too late
for that.
Pull... It... Together.
For the next hour,
I need the stubborn, cynical,
rude, suspicious know-it-all
you've always tried to be.
After that...
We'll see.
Oh, my God. It's about time.
I've been here all by myself forever.
I don't have any magazines.
I don't have my phone.
And I'm a widow.
Ms. Serabian, I know how fond you are
of lieutenant Provenza here,
so imagine that you will be
delighted to know
that we have recovered his car
and all its contents.
Isn't that wonderful?
I don't believe you.
Well...
Believe her now?
For our purposes, it doesn't matter
if you gave lieutenant Provenza
$20,000 or $20.
You asked him to ***
your husband, you paid him,
and we have it all,
clear as day, on videotape.
- Not anymore, we don't.
- Can we skip
- the commentary track, please?
- I keep telling you
I didn't kill my husband!
I'm quite certain of that.
Then what am I still doing here?
Angie, just... listen to her, huh?
Because, Ms. Serabian,
I have no interest
in prosecuting you for attempted ***
when I have an actual *** to solve.
And I think that I can find the killer
if you'll only tell me
how you got the combination to the safe.
Alex's brother gave it to me.
Thank you so much.
I'll be back in two shakes.
But I will leave lieutenant Provenza
here, to keep you company.
Now that she's off the hook,
maybe you two can...
patch things up.
Oh, my, Mr. Serabian.
You look uncomfortable.
Can we get you something?
- A glass of water?
- Or a sponge?
Let me get to the point, Mr. Serabian.
Because, in pursuing my investigation,
I have come to a conclusion that...
I think you will find
extremely distressing.
- You have?
- I'm afraid so.
I am convinced...
That your sister-in-law, Angie,
murdered your brother.
I know. It's so horrible.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
Why? Are you surprised?
No, no.
I mean, from the moment I learned
that Angie was trying to kill
my brother, I knew she would do it.
She's very determined.
Well, I just have a few...
loose threads that I need to stitch up,
Sr. Serabian.
Please,
call me Hovnan.
Thank you, ha...
Hovnan.
It's okay. Just please call me Hank.
Everybody does.
So, uh, Hank,
a short while ago,
we opened the safe we retrieved
from your office, and guess what.
Inside, we found the gun
Angie used to kill your brother.
- It was in the safe?
- How about that.
Of course, that would mean Angie
would have to have the combination.
And I need to find out how she got that.
I know you told us
that you didn't have the combination,
and it must be terribly embarrassing now
to admit that you did,
but we all tell little white lies
from time to time. I know I have.
- Have you, Sergeant?
- Nope. Never.
I just want to make sure
that the right person goes to jail
for Alex's ***, and knowing who all
had the combination
would make that immensely helpful.
Yes. Only Alex and I
had the combination,
and I gave it to Angie.
And why, exactly, did you do that?
Hank?
I gave her the combination because...
Angie came to me and said she needed
$20,000 to make her problems go away.
And when you found out that
the problem was your brother,
you must've felt terribly betrayed.
Yes, terribly! I felt terribly betrayed!
And I knew Alex would think
that I gave her the money, and...
- Which I didn't!
- No, you merely gave her
the combination to the safe
that contained the money
so that she could get the money herself.
Which is why, I imagine,
you were so desperate to return it.
I took Alex's gun from the safe
to put the money underneath,
and that's when Angie walked in.
And I said,
"how could you do this?"
"How could you take my brother's money"
"to have someone kill him?" And she said
"you know how he treats me... "
"Like a dog." And I said, "no."
"He's my brother. I love him."
"Go away. I don't ever want
to see you again!"
And just then, Alex walked in.
- That must have been awkward.
- Yes. Very, very awkward.
And he said, "how could you, my wife,
and you, my brother, do this to me?"
And I said, "it's not me. It's Angie.
It's all her fault."
And Angie grabbed the gun and said,
"I should have done this myself
in the first place!"
Yeah. And she shot Alex.
And Angie said...
that police would suspect me,
and it'd be better if we say nothing
of what happened.
- And then you walked out together.
- Yes, yes. We walked away.
What is your problem?
That's a really great story, Hank.
But I have a better one.
At 9:00 p.m. last night, we saw
your sister-in-law, Angie,
walk by herself into Serabian Motors.
Not one minute later, she walked out,
again, by herself.
There was no time for her
to have retrieved the gun,
shot him, and placed it back
in the safe.
She could have done it
very, very quickly.
We would have heard
a gunshot. No.
The only reasonable explanation is,
Alex confronted you when
you tried to return the money,
and so, you took the gun and shot him.
Isn't that what happened?
You shot your own brother.
But why?
Why would I do that?
Angie kept talking about how she was
inheriting half a car dealership,
and it got me wondering...
"who gets the other half?"
And according to Alex's will...
That would be you.
And when she failed to knock him off,
despite all your backhanded help,
you took matters into your own hands
and shot him yourself.
- Didn't you shoot him?
- I shot him! I shot him!
But...
I wasn't aiming at him.
Well...
We're just gonna have
to let the jury sort that out.
Sergeant Gabriel, would you please
arrest Mr. Serabian here
while I go check on lieutenant Provenza?
This is...
This is all Angie's fault.
And now what?
She's gonna walk away?
No, more than likely,
she drives away...
In your brother's Jaguar.
Maybe I wasn't completely
honest with you...
- He's like a minute from closing.
- Shh!
You weren't exactly truthful
with me, either.
What?
No. What makes you think
I wasn't being truthful?
For starters, you handed me
that pile of bogus money.
I mean, so much for establishing trust.
No. I know.
But, you see, I was afraid that, um...
If I gave you the money,
I would never see you again.
- What?
- What? Yeah, and...
What, I can't tell you.
Angie.
Angie.
I know that you didn't kill Alex.
So talk to me.
Well...
I- I...
It's hard for me to say this,
but I-I was...
just thinking that, um... That...
Maybe the only reason you were
interested in me is because...
I was paying you to kill my husband.
Oooh, Angie.
Angie.
That's just not true.
No. It's not true.
And there is no reason that
we still can't get together.
- Really?
- Really.
Really.
But since we're being honest...
Angie...
I have to tell you something.
I have to tell you, that...
... by the time you're available,
you may be too old for me.
What do you mean by that?
Well, you just confessed
to attempted ***,
and you're going to prison
for at least 10 years.
But...
But s-she said she wasn't
interested in attempted ***.
Well, she isn't.
But I am.
Yeah?
Well, congratulations, lieutenant.
Yeah, I know... You're thrilled.
Uh, I just dropped by to tell you
that I am never going to retire.
Ever.
Why?
Look, I'm not gonna tell you
that I'm Charlie Hustle.
The only thing I chase these days
are women who have had a few drinks.
Okay.
But if... if you want to save
a couple of bucks by...
out of our division's budget
by trading my experience for a rookie...
I have a civil-service job,
and the only way
that I am going to leave
the Los Angeles Police Department
is if I get shot, have a heart attack,
and then you run me over.
After which...
I will consider a disability position.
But you really still haven't told me...
why?
When my first wife and I divorced,
I agreed to split my pension
with her from the day I retire.
I'll be damned if she gets a nickel.
That...
I understand.
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
I made a distressingly
similar arrangement with my first wife.
You do realize that I may eventually
be forced to put you
in some crappy desk job.
Then expect me to die
with a stapler in my hand.
Till death do us part.