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Previously on Studio 60:
Jack, the show's not going to be good on Friday.
Doesn't have to be good.
Just has to be on.
Wes Mandel is recovering from a heart attack, which means you two
are in charge of the most valuable property
this network has ever owned.
You don't take shots at Bush,
you don't take shots at America.
Feel free to make fun of Hollywood.
Three American soldiers were ambushed
in their truck on a road in Paktika, Afghanistan.
One of them is Mark Jeter.
He's a hostage.
MARY: My firm has offices around the world.
We consult on K&R insurance.
That's "Kidnap and Ransom."
Just for the sake of...
whatever, would you be able to make a couple of phone calls
and find out more?
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
Captain David Boyle. I'm Mark's commanding officer
at Nellis Air Force Base.
This is Lieutenant Jim Pierce. He's our chaplain.
Do you have anyone that you can call,
Danny Tripp.
No, but he wants to be.
DAN: The baby's choking.
Just a little bit?!
Danny.
And Jordan's blood pressure is very high
so shouting isn't going to help.
(groans)
(indistinct P.A. announcement)
Danny.
What's going on?
Everything's fine.
Dr. Bremmer's got her in surgery.
Isn't this taking an unusually long time for a C-section?
Excellent.
When we opened her up, we could see
right away there was a deep invasion of the trophoblast
into the superficial muscle.
The maternal surface was irregular,
with variable amounts of fragmentation of the cotyledons.
I don't know what any of that means.
Doctor?
She's bleeding internally
because the placenta's still attached.
She's bleeding internally?
Isn't that...
Is that life-threatening?
Well, going to the corner for a newspaper's life-threatening.
Kid, I will beat you up.
She's fine.
We're gonna remove the placenta
and stop the bleeding.
She's fine?
She's gonna be fine.
Yeah.
When... when would you say that's gonna be?
Well, we started her off on a local, but now she's under
general anesthesia 'cause she's at risk for seizures.
Yeah. I hear "risk," I hear "seizure."
Take it easy.
Go across the street, get a drink.
I can't. I'm an alcoholic.
Bummer for you.
Yeah. I know.
I'm gonna go back in there.
Hey. Uh, listen,
before, you know, I said some things
about your age.
I made disparaging comments about your age.
You don't ever take that out on the patients, do you?
Yeah, all the time.
Danny, I'm "Jess," okay?
Everything's gonna be fine.
There's nothing you're not telling me?
Okay.
Wait.
Yes?
Yeah.
Isn't that dangerous for the baby?
Oh, the baby's been delivered.
What?
Baby's been delivered.
She's great.
Yeah.
The baby's out? She's here?
The baby's been born?
Yeah.
All right, Jess, I-I-I said
there's nothing you're not telling me.
You forgot you delivered the baby?
I should have written it down. That's me.
Where can I see her?
Not quite yet. She's in the NICU.
Yeah.
Why?
She's a couple weeks early.
We want to monitor her heart rate and blood gases
and keep her under a heat lamp.
But she's fine?
Six pounds, two ounces.
She's only six... No, wait.
That's-that's exactly what she's supposed to be.
Get ahold of yourself.
Do you have a friend who can come down
and sit with you and just help you relax?
Danny!
Sorry, we're late,
but Racer X here was driving.
We hit a parking meter.
You kept shouting, "Turn left! Turn left!"
Yeah, at the street.
These are the calming influences.
Okay. I'm going to head back in.
What's happened?
Why?
There's been a deep invasion of trophoblast into the superficial muscle.
I don't know. They don't teach
that at film school, but the doctor seems
to think everything's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is he, 15?
Yes, he is.
What are you making him nervous for?
I'm concerned that Doogie Howser
is working on my friend and her baby.
The baby was delivered.
Six pounds, two ounces.
I can't see her yet, but they say she's doing great.
Also, I got engaged.
What?
Yeah.
When?
Yeah.
Right before she went in.
I-I asked, I gave her the ring, she said yes.
Well, I hadn't finished writing the proposal.
Which draft did you use?
I didn't use any.
I had to.
I was working on this great marriage proposal for him.
What do you want me to do?
The text.
It worked.
How?
Will the two of you shut up?
All right.
Yeah.
And you knew about this?
Hey, I was supposed to be
the Cyrano, and then he goes off...
It was a little long.
It was weighty.
Fat-- it's called fat.
Well, you have to deliver it with...
I will kill you both in a hospital.
You're engaged.
Yep.
And there's a baby.
Yeah.
'Cause, like an hour ago, none of that was true.
Things are moving fast tonight.
What's happening with Tom?
He's back at the theater.
I know that.
Oh. He's with two officers--
Mark's commander and a chaplain.
Yeah?
Yeah, news got out that it's Tom's brother,
so the press is camped outside.
There's no new news out of Afghanistan?
I think you got to take that off your plate for a few hours.
I'm all right.
You've got enough.
I'm sure you're right.
But right now, she's bleeding and your stepdaughter-to-be
is in the ICU, and I really think
that's all you should have to think about.
You know, I hate saying this, but Harriet's right.
I can take care of everything back at...
Let's stop calling her my stepdaughter.
She's my daughter.
She started being that the moment she was born.
(shouting): And I really wouldn't mind meeting her
if that isn't too much to ask!
Easy does it.
All right, here's what I need you to do.
Go back to the theater,
and try and normalize things with everybody.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
No, but the process of trying is gonna give everyone
something to do.
What?
Did you two set a date?
And we chose a caterer while she was in pre-op.
Women and weddings.
I know.
How would you know?
All right,
I'm going back, but Harriet's staying here.
You don't need to...
Stay here with him.
Is there anything you need from me?
No.
Are you sure?
What would I need from you?
I don't know. I was...
Call me every ten minutes,
let me know what's going on.
We need your car, I took your car.
My parents are in the green room with the chaplain.
I can't remember his name.
Lieutenant Pierce.
Lieutenant Pierce.
The doctor's given my mother
a shot of a sedative called Atrividium.
Yeah.
My father's taking shots
of a sedative called Johnny Walker Red.
(chuckles)
All right, you can't tell me
if there's a rescue mission underway.
No.
You can't tell me if you think
there's a rescue mission underway.
If, in your experience...
No what?
No, I can't tell you anything.
Even if the building weren't surrounded
by reporters right now, I still couldn't tell you anything.
But Lord Almighty, kid, just how famous are you?
Not that famous.
There's just nothing else going on tonight.
There are two wars.
Well, now they're covering one of 'em.
You got any relatives who could get captured
in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans?
You've got a strange sense of humor.
Hey, I'm not the one
who went on TV a few hours ago
doing "Healthy Cooking with Nicolas Cage."
Neither am I, that's Alex Dwyer who does Nic Cage.
Which one are you?
Which one am... What does it matter?
Just making conversation.
I do Bush, I do John Edwards,
I do Donald Trump, I do whatever.
You do Muhammad.
I did tonight.
Muhammad the Thin-Skinned Prophet.
You can't be trying
to tell me that my brother's up there
because I made fun of Muhammad tonight.
Yeah, kid, I'm sure the Taliban watches Studio 60.
Maybe they TiVo it.
Comfort.
You're not very good at it.
I keep trying to tell them that.
There's nothing you know?
There's a lot I know.
There's just nothing I can tell you.
Do you know how he's being treated?
I'm sorry?
You heard me.
I honestly didn't.
Do you know how
he's being treated?
Yes, you do.
Is he being beaten up?
It's not a good idea to engage in hypotheticals.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right, it's probably not.
Except this isn't a hypothetical,
this is actually happening!
You want to hit me?
If you want to hit me,
it's okay.
Looking at you and looking at me,
doesn't seem like it'll hurt.
I think I can use a sedative myself.
Now we're talking.
You're such a ***.
I know.
Can you believe they made me a captain?
Yeah, I can believe anything now.
(pouring drink)
(sets bottle down)
(people chattering, phones ringing)
You'll be able to see him soon, Luce.
What?
You'll be able to see him soon.
I know, but he's
in a certain... you know,
and he doesn't want to take it out on you.
He can take anything he wants out on me now,
I'm his girlfriend.
The military guys know what they're doing.
Yeah, I can tell by the way Mark's blindfolded and in chains.
Where's Darius?
With Tom's parents.
What are you guys doing?
We're just surfing for information.
The conservatives didn't like the cold open.
What you talking about?
Leave it alone.
The Tony Snow press conference, troop surge,
they didn't like it.
Show me where you are.
Luce...
What, they're saying they didn't like it?
No, but it was Tom's
sketch and they know what's happening.
Why would they still weigh in with their opinions?
No, I will.
Luce, you don't want to read anymore.
Hello.
What's going on at the hospital?
Jordan is in surgery.
She's bleeding internally, but they say she's gonna be fine.
No.
Yeah.
She delivered the baby.
Two weeks early?
Yeah, but the baby's fine.
16 pounds, two ounces.
16 pounds?!
Is that not normal?
Did she give birth to a tuna fish?
Six pounds.
Six pounds.
The point is the baby's fine.
She's under observation,
but she's perfectly healthy and fine.
No.
Yes. Great news.
Danny and Jordan are engaged.
CAL: Yeah.
To be married?
No, no, just in a conversation.
Yes, they're engaged to be married.
Whoa! What the hell?!
Luce.
Sorry.
I... I told her not to read it.
Read what?
The Angry Pajama People.
We were surfing the Net
for anything about Tom's brother.
I landed on a site...
What did she read?
"Let's face some facts, people.
"Hollywood is a land of liberals, *** and traitors.
You reap what you sow."
He means "S-O-W,"
but he spelled it like a needle and thread.
"You reap what you sew,
and Jeter's brother's paying the price."
The whole site's like that.
Obviously, no one's going anywhere...
Except for a sub-genre of posts
suggesting it's all a publicity stunt
to prop up our ratings.
MATT: Look, forget it.
Nobody's going home for awhile.
Danny and I think it'd be a good idea for us all
to stay here and stay busy.
Good, let's start on a sketch about how well
we've all been served by all those who
Simon...
Let's...
Sorry. I meant "reap what they sew."
Not this week.
Not this week.
And I don't think those Toby Keith patriots feel stupid enough.
Why not?
'Cause he got sucked into this six years ago,
and I don't want it to happen again.
And since when we do the show to make someone feel stupid?
I didn't get sucked in.
I didn't get sucked in,
Cal, I walked in.
I walked in.
All right, everybody, settle down.
Settle down.
Danny and I just came back from Jack Rudolph's office.
We went there with Wes' permission to ask
And?
We're going on the air Friday night.
Yeah, well, nevertheless,
we're going on the air Friday night.
And he had rather strict instructions about content.
There shouldn't be any.
Seriously, like what kind of instructions about content?
Well, you know, no attacks at Bush,
no attacks at the White House.
Come on, you guys know what he means.
Bush says the most
important thing we can all do is shop.
How about Freedom Shoppers?
Did you just hear me say we're not doing that?
It's a new game show with Regis Philbin.
Who Wants To Be Free?
Contestants would compete for the opportunity to go shopping.
All right, let's stop kidding around.
We got a show to do.
What else we got?
Barry Bonds hit his 73rd home run.
Okay, well, that's not funny at all.
Eminem and Kim Basinger are gonna do a movie together.
About a year and a half.
Okay, well, let's wait till then to
do the sketch.
What else we got? Deb, what are you reading?
Anything?
Karl Rove was out here.
He wants the studios to make films that are more patriotic.
Shopping and movies-- that's exactly how we won World War II.
Man, he said knock it off.
White House is making movie pitches?
Okay, well, let's...
save that 'cause Rudolph was pretty clear about...
Mm, yeah, he didn't want to...
Let me see that.
TV NEWSCASTER: ...memorial service at the Pentagon this morning,
President Bush vowed to destroy terror
with "every weapon in the U.S. arsenal"
as he marked one month since the September 11th attacks.
Meanwhile, air strikes continue in Afghanistan
for the fifth consecutive day and military officials say
it'll be a matter of weeks, not days, before they secure
Taliban-held regions of Afghanistan.
Yeah.
It's gonna take weeks to beat these guys?
Hey, you know what I was just thinking about?
We should delay the season premiere
until this thing is over.
We're doing okay, you and me.
We're gonna be able to run this show when Wes retires.
We're doing all right.
First of all, Wes is never gonna retire.
Second, we haven't done anything yet.
And, third, should we be talking about taking over for Wes
when he's in a hospital with a heart attack?
He had the heart attack already.
It's not a continuing condition.
You're right.
Let's raid his fridge.
How's it going?
It's a piece in the paper
about Karl Rove coming out here.
Yeah?
Yeah, he met with a studio
and network heads and reps from the guilds.
That story is three days old.
Yeah, but I just read it.
What were you reading three days ago?
Anything that doesn't have anything to do
with things we're not allowed to do this week.
I've been looking at news on J.Lo.
Anything?
No.
No, look, the White House sent
the most senior counselor to the president to LA
to tell us to make more patriotic product.
As a matter of fact, that's not what happened.
He was invited out here by a couple of people,
including a writer.
The writer's name is Lionel Chetwynd
who's to the right of Harriet Hayes.
The other executives showed up 'cause they didn't want
their names to end up on a list for not showing up.
One of those executives was Jack Rudolph.
You're making my point for me.
I have no idea what your point is.
Danny...
There were no instructions given on content.
I'm not accusing anybody of anything.
We're all on the same side.
That it's funny.
Karl Rove...
in a conference room with studio and network heads
trying to beat the terrorists with movie pitches.
That's all I'm talking about.
This is what Jack told us not to do.
No, he said it was okay to make fun of Hollywood.
In fact, he encouraged it.
Look, we went over there to his office
and said we shouldn't be on the air yet.
He said no. If we go on the air
with sketches that ignore the world,
then we're irrelevant.
I know.
Okay, give me a first draft I can run by Wes.
Good.
Hey, Matt.
Please remember
that neither one of us have lives.
I agree. What do you mean?
Try not to get us fired.
Show's the only thing I have right now.
I don't see that changing any time soon.
DANNY: I'd like to see my daughter.
You need an ID bracelet.
What's that?
An ID bracelet.
I don't have an ID bracelet.
What am I, Joey Buttafuoco?
A hospital ID bracelet.
Miss...
Miss Nurse.
Just Nurse.
I'm not gonna steal the baby.
Well, that's what people who steal babies say.
They don't come into a hospital
and announce their intention to steal a baby.
(mutters): This isn't happening.
That's why we have strict regulations.
You're not even on the visitor's authorization list.
No one's on the visitor's authorization list.
She was rushed into surgery.
Says on the chart the mother was here for almost two hours
Yes.
That's true, but we're sitting out there waiting.
Now if the real father...
I'm the real father.
The biological father.
The biological father's a twerp.
Do you see him around here anywhere?
By the way, I'm a little tweaked
that he got to sleep with my fiancée.
You know who I am, you know what's going on.
I'm entitled to see her.
Isn't that like a man? Baby's not even home yet
and he's already saying what he's entitled to
and how his needs aren't being met
ever since the baby was born.
What are you talking about?!
That is my daughter in the ICU.
And I want her to see that there is a big
grown man who's gonna take care of her for the rest of her life
No.
It's gonna have to be starting when you get an ID bracelet.
Excuse me.
(keyboard clacking)
(phone ringing)
Now I'm thinking about stealing the baby.
Let me take care of this.
I'm gonna talk to her calmly,
woman to woman.
What did she say?
You can't see her without the bracelet.
Good work.
She's a big fan of my work, though.
Then she'll be disappointed when I fire you.
You want a Mento?
Could you get some news on Tom?
You're not supposed to be thinking about that.
Get some news on Tom!
You know with the baby, if you shout like that...
(calmly): Get some news on Tom.
Better.
Is it okay to smoke in here?
Uh...
You and your brother sure took...
different paths.
Yeah.
Which of you is the black sheep?
Me.
He's a good engineer.
I know.
We, uh... we repaired an airstrip
outside Kabul together on his first tour.
It was... January, 10 degrees,
40 mile per hour winds.
We just wanted to get the hell out of there.
But he convinced me
we had to stay another day.
He said if the water to cement ratio wasn't lowered,
then another team would just have to come back in six months
and do it again.
He said he didn't want some kid put in danger
because he'd laid lousy cement.
Yeah.
How you doing, my brother?
Why is everyone still here?
Oh, nobody's going anywhere
until you're out of the woods.
Your mom's asleep.
They shot her up with a couple hundred cc's
of something.
And your dad was asking, so I had somebody
take him over to a chapel
with that, uh, Lieutenant Pierce, the chaplain.
Thanks.
There's wall-to-wall news on TV and no information.
What's going on?
Is... is there a negotiation,
is there a rescue mission? Is the Red Cross involved?
Is the UN involved? What's happening?
Why the hell not?
Well, for one thing, I don't know who you are.
I'm Simon Stiles, I'm a cast member here.
I'm his best friend, and I'm the guy
who' talking to you right now.
Well, I guess that's enough to clear you
for classified information.
It's captain.
And don't front off with me.
I'm not in show business, and I'm not from the hood.
What is he here for?
Comfort.
All right, quiet down. Listen up.
There's been a lot of rumors flying around,
but chances are whatever you think you know is wrong,
so here it is.
There's no new information on Tom's brother.
Jordan's still in surgery, but Danny says everything is fine.
She delivered-- six pounds, two ounces.
Not 16 pounds, which would be too many... pounds.
She's a healthy, beautiful baby girl.
No.
You just said she was beautiful.
We assume these things, Alex.
Is there anything else?
Matt?
Oh, uh, Jordan and Danny are engaged.
And that is all the information.
Why are there pieces of a computer lying on the floor?
I threw it against the wall.
Okay.
The Nocturnal Nut Brigade came after Tom on the Internet.
Yeah.
MATT: Don't worry about it.
Here's what we're going to do.
Danny wants us to stay together and stay busy,
so Cal and I thought it'd be a good idea
to do the Sunday postmortem now,
Friday night, which is now Saturday morning.
You want to do it now?
Yeah, so, let's go from the top.
What did we do wrong tonight?
Well, I said "Live from Studio City on the Sunset Strip."
Yes, and you know the name of the show
is Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
Yes.
And you know this because you've been announcing
Yes.
Okay, that's done. What's next?
Yeah.
If the baby's been delivered,
why is Jordan still in the OR?
She's bleeding, 'cause of the thing...
The placenta.
She has placenta accreta.
Well, Danny says it's not serious.
It's not serious. My wife had it.
That's why I'm asking why Jordan is still in the OR.
She's been in there for two hours, Matt.
Well, Danny says...
There's something they're not telling Danny.
Something's going wrong.
All right...
(clears throat)
All right, the show announce,
That's gonna haunt me.
It's been 20 years, you were due.
CAL: At 1:22 of the show clock,
we had a four second sound drop, beginning with Tom's line,
"The President has always held this will be a long fight."
We'll match sound from the dress for syndication.
You think she's been in there too long?
Excuse me.
(phone dialing)
(phone rings)
(clears throat)
Yeah.
What's going on?
Hang on. I'll call you back.
Relax.
Matt, I'm gonna tell you how she is,
but I'm gonna use some words that sound worse than they are.
Go ahead.
Jordan was completely repaired
and we felt confident that she could
sustain future pregnancies.
(stammers): She was completely repaired?
She went into shock when we wheeled her into...
recovery.
Take it easy.
Her clotting factors were consumed exponentially
during the initial bleeding.
That means that her body can't stop itself from bleeding
at the initial incision site.
So what do you do?
Well, we closed her up,
but what's developed is DIC which is disseminated
intravascular coagulopathy.
That's a scary way of saying that she won't clot.
Yeah, it worked. I'm scared.
Don't be.
The head of Hematology's in charge now,
he's administering drugs he has confidence in.
Is she conscious?
Yes, but extremely groggy,
and we're going to keep her that way
in case we have to open her up again.
Danny, I promise you
that I will let you know when to panic.
These are post-op complications,
we're going to be out of the woods by sunrise.
Is there anything that I can do for you?
They won't let me see the baby.
Annette?
Yes, sir.
Get him a damn bracelet.
I can't do that, Doctor.
Then at least let him stand outside the NICU.
Let's go for God's sake, come on.
Give us a few minutes.
Did he seem nervous to you?
No.
So, what's going on?
It's all gonna be okay.
Yeah, I know. What's going on?
They're taking care of her.
Andy said that with what she's got,
she shouldn't be in surgery this long.
There were complications.
All right, I'm coming back there.
No, stay where you are.
I need to know Tom's gonna be okay.
What are the complications?
They can't get her to stop bleeding.
It's not a big deal.
It's gonna be fine.
Matty, he says it sounds scarier than it is.
Stay there.
Is there press? Do I need to ask?
They've got us surrounded. We're bunkered in.
They want a shot of Tom.
Well, at least it's a reminder
that we never quite finished the first war.
I don't think Tom needs any reminding.
Keep calling me.
15 minutes goes by without me hearing from you,
I'm driving over there with a police escort.
Where are you getting a police escort from?
I will commit a crime
and lead them in a high-speed chase if I have to.
I am not kidding around.
All right.
Harry, you can look all you want,
but you're never gonna find a guy
better than him.
Let's go wash your hands and face.
You're gonna meet your kid.
I'll be back in just a couple of minutes.
Cal, Andy,
keep running the postmortem.
CAL: All right.
This one is on me. I blew a camera cue.
ANDY: Where?
CAL: I'm still on "Tony Snow." I couldn't snap.
You couldn't snap?
There was popcorn with butter, and I couldn't snap.
They didn't hear me call it right away.
Moving to 7-B.
Uh, I'd to stay on "Tony Snow" a second.
ANDY: What do you have?
What?
The sketch, it was wrong.
You don't think we should have opened with it?
No, I'm fine opening with it, but the sketch was wrong.
The premise was Press Secretary paints a rosy picture.
That's what Press Secretaries are paid to do.
The targets of comedy should have been
the people who are buying it.
Yeah, anymore.
That bandwagon's lightened up a little bit since the old days,
and I think the comedy's in the people
who broke their ankles jumping off.
All right, noted.
What did Matt mean when he said he walked into it?
What?
You said Matt got sucked into it the first time,
and he said he walked into it.
DANNY: Okay, so, a slate, maybe an offscreen V.O.
"Holly Hunter screen test for Silence of the Lambs."
ALEX (as Hannibal Lecter): What became of your lamb, Clarice?
(laughter)
HARRIET (as Holly Hunter): I don't know.
I didn't have any food,
any water, it was very, very cold.
I thought if I could save just one...
You know this actually sounds like Jodie Foster.
Uh, keep going.
HARRIET: I thought if I could
save just one, but he was
Now it's Colonel Sanders.
HARRIET: That wasn't Colonel Sanders.
Okay, then it was Colonel Sanders' mother or something.
DANNY: All right, uh,
rough cut away to a new slate,
also probably with an offscreen V.O.,
"Holly Hunter screen test for Gladiator."
HARRIET: My brother had Gracchus arrested.
We daren't wait any longer.
We must leave tonight.
Your servant Cicero will be waiting there with horses.
Let me try that again.
Your servant Cicero
will be waiting there with horses...
Can I help you?
Uh, can you give us a minute?
(indistinct conversations)
I, uh, read ahead in the packet.
The Karl Rove sketch.
It's not a Karl Rove sketch.
It says "Karl Rove Sketch" at the top.
Jerry, we just name these things
so we can remember what they are.
Yeah, I can change the name of it.
It doesn't matter what you name it.
There are 45 sketches in this packet.
There are 47 sketches
in that packet, we're gonna do the best ten.
Come on, let's not go round and round.
I've read it.
No. Out loud. By actors.
Does it get less inflammatory if it's read out loud?
I don't think it's inflammatory.
Jack met with you, he told me he did.
Yeah.
And he said nothing anti-American.
Oh, come on, Jerry. That's over the line.
There's nothing anti-American in that sketch.
(overlapping arguments)
...were pitching around ideas for TV series and movies.
It's mocking patriotism.
I think we get away with it because it's Hollywood.
It's not mocking patriotism.
And I got to be honest with you, I resent that,
and you have cut sketches of mine before
and that has never been the case.
It's not mocking patriotism,
It's mocking patriotism being good for business,
which is what's happening here right now.
I really don't care how you interpret my decision,
but it is my decision.
I have 12 other shows to vet.
Screw it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
This isn't a standards issue.
Danny...
Nobody's taking their clothes off
or teaching anybody how to make methamphetamine.
This is content.
Call it what you want.
I think you're taking advantage of the fact that Wes isn't here
'cause you know he'd have thrown your *** out of the building
20 minutes ago and done whatever sketch he wanted to.
I want you to assume that we are Wes
and that's what's happening now.
If for no other reason than the two of you
have a chance to be executive producers of this show one day,
don't do things stupidly now.
Yeah.
You've been standing out here.
Well, I saw you were on the phone.
The guys in London are talking to the guys in Islamabad
who are talking to the guys in Kabul.
They're trying to find out some things.
Is this a realistic idea worth pursuing or is this just some...
This is not fly-by-night.
I'm not saying do it.
I'm saying let them find out
who and what we're talking about.
Let them find out who the players are.
If all three guys are still together, if...
All right.
How's Jordan?
Oh, she's having some post-op complications.
Like what?
They can't seem to stop her from bleeding.
She's got intravascular coagulation. DIC.
You know medicine, too?
A little bit.
Are you and Jordan close?
Yeah. I like her a lot.
My best friend's in love with her.
Yeah?
By the way, they're engaged now.
Danny and Jordan?
Yeah. He proposed to her
right before she went in for a C-Section.
He didn't use the material I wrote,
but she said yes anyway.
They're going to let him
see the baby in a minute.
Yeah?
Yeah. I should go check...
Yeah?
Nothing.
He shouldn't...
Forget it.
He shouldn't see the baby.
Danny shouldn't make a connection with the baby.
You know why not.
No, I-I don't.
Mary, I swear to God I don't.
If something happens with Jordan...
Jordan's going to be fine.
If something happens with Jordan,
an engagement ring doesn't give Danny any rights with the baby.
Hi.
It's okay now.
I've got your back.
Has Mark received any kind of education
in this kind of situation?
Are they taught what to do in this kind of situation?
Yes, he's received Law of Armed Conflict Training.
That's six articles that provide a guideline
for conduct in a POW situation along with the applicable rules
of the Geneva convention.
But Mark's not a POW, they keep telling us so.
Well the they you're talking about doesn't know
what they're talking about, but yes,
he's being held by a militia.
Either way, I'm sure the Afghans have their pocket copies
of the Geneva conventions in their briefcases
and take them just as seriously as we did.
What's he doing up there?
Is that Russell?
What's he doing up there?
Is he a friend of yours?
No. I mean, we worked here together for couple months.
WOMAN (on TV): Now you were employed at Studio 60 from...?
They've run out of experts.
Don't listen to them, Tom.
RUSSELL (on TV): 1998 to 2002.
WOMAN: And you were a talent coordinator for the show?
Well, a talent coordinator and then a segment producer.
Yes.
When were you ever my boss?
Russell, reports on the Internet say Tom
and his brother, Mark, have been estranged for a few years.
I think that's accurate.
Turn it off, Tom.
Do you think it was because of the war, that Tom's brother
went off to fight the war?
Well, I don't like to speculate, but, uh...
I think it's safe to say that
everybody over there was pretty much against the war.
What in the hell is this guy...
Don't listen to it, Tom.
I want that corrected.
We're not estranged.
We're not estranged. We e-mail each other every...
Don't...
Stop saying that, if we're gonna do
one thing right...
No.
You can't.
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.
I'll go.
Tom, I'll go.
Leon Cushman's out there from the Post, okay?
I have a relationship with him, I'll talk to him alone.
Tell him to fix it.
Tell him to tell everybody else.
I will.
It's fine.
George, I need you.
Yes, sir?
Have one of your guys go out there
and find a reporter named Leon Cushman.
Have them very quietly tell him to meet me--
use my name-- to meet me by the side door
in the alley at the loading dock.
Thank you.
In "Blind Date," the rewrite just didn't make it to the floor,
Jeannie.
Yeah?
Where?
Leon Cushman's gonna meet me on the side of the building.
There's a story out there that Tom and Mark are estranged.
Tom wants it fixed.
Leon Cushman's gonna meet me at the side of the building.
I'm gonna talk to him for half a minute,
and I just want you there with me.
Sure, but why?
Leon wants to sleep with you-- he'll do this for me to impress you.
He doesn't want to sleep with me.
Jeannie, this isn't the time to be delicate,
so I'll just say there's no such thing
as someone who doesn't want to sleep with you.
We'll be fine.
What are you worried about?
A rerun of six years ago.
ANCHORMAN (on TV): Secretary Donald Rumsfeld stated today
that bin Laden was probably still in Afghanistan,
and many Americans are wondering how close
the US is to capturing him.
Yesterday, the President released a list of the 22
Excuse me.
that have connections to terrorism...
It's a fig leaf.
Your prop master gave it to me.
See, I've got a sense of humor, too.
No, he's got a sense of humor-- that's poison ivy.
Jeez.
DAN: It's fake poison ivy, and I think
you meant it as an olive branch.
But what do you need?
You know what I need.
Wes talked to Jack, Wes says it stays in the show.
And Jack needs you to speak to Wes 'cause you can't
put the sketch on the air, and Jack can't tell Wes not to.
We think the sketch-- Wes, Matt, myself--
You think the sketch... Why not take the
guesswork out of it and cut the sketch?
It would be our preference not to be on at all,
but we were turned down.
If we are going to be on,
You're not ignoring it.
You've got the sketch based on the thing, the kids show...
"Muslims Say the Darndest Things."
We're not doing that one.
You're cutting the Muslim sketch?
Yes, we are, but I can't help
but notice that that's not at the request
That one resonates.
It pokes fun
at the Taliban's brutal oppression of women
and lets the country know why we're fighting.
No, it doesn't. It's Luke Scott
dumping every Muslim in the world together.
"Ah" what?
DANNY: Jerry.
Been where?
She broke up with you, she's going out with him,
so you're cutting a sketch even though it resonates
It resonates if you want to endorse a pogrom.
Then change Muslims to "muftis" or "mullahs."
Is he...?
I don't think many Americans are taking time right now
to distinguish between mullahs, muftis and Muslims.
I think if you rewrote the sketch a little bit
you could make it clear that America has no problem with Muslims,
only with the radical fundamentalists.
We have our own radical fundamentalists
right here I can write sketches about.
Yeah.
Well, it's talk like that that's got us scared.
Thanks.
Look, I'm scared of getting blown up.
I'm scared of getting hit by a car.
I'm scared of spiders.
I'm just not scared of talk.
Tell Wes you want to cut the Karl Rove sketch.
No.
Okay, here's what we'll do.
You get the ad reps to the dress tomorrow, you tell them nothing.
If a lot of them have a problem with the sketch, we'll cut it.
We will?
Your word?
Yeah.
Thank you.
What was that?
I'm scared of other things.
SIMON: Hey, Leon.
You asked for me?
Do me a favor, okay?
There's a story out there
that Tom's estranged from his brother-- it's not true.
It's not close to true, and it's upsetting Tom.
Can you help us with it?
Thanks.
He's fine.
The point is, they're as close as I've ever seen two brothers.
They e-mail each other all the time,
they talk on the phone whenever they can.
WOMAN: Simon!
They followed you here?
Hey, let me ask you one question.
(reporters clamoring)
I'm not answering any questions.
Come on, who's with him?
An air force captain,
Mark's commander from Nellis,
uh, his parents and the entire cast and crew.
No one's left.
Simon, is it possible that NBS let the story leak
to boost the ratings?
Come on.
Do you think NBS let it leak that was Tom's brother
Simon, get out of here.
Are you stupid?
I'm just doing my job.
Are you threatening me?
You guys like making this entertainment?
Come on, it's the Sunset Strip.
Yeah?
Okay.
This is potentially good news.
Trask is pretty sure the group that captured Jeter,
Valdez and Smith is led by a Taliban commander
named Asadullah Rashiq.
He's come out of hiding and discovered that
kidnapping civilians can help fund his *** business.
This is what passes for good news?
Yeah. Because if it's him,
it means there's a good chance you can buy them all back.
I think it's time you and Jack Rudolph had a talk
with someone who knows what they're talking about.
Oh, God.
What?
SIMON (on TV): It was you people who helped get us into this. It was you.
That war, it never ended. You just lost interest in it.
'Cause like the rest of this country,
you've got the attention span of a damn six-year-old.
This whole country is nothing but a bunch of idiot teenagers,
and if every one of you was mowed down by friendly fire,
I'd pop a bottle of Cristal!
Yeah, we got a whole new story.