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"First question."
"Me, coach." "Coach!" "You."
"Hi, coach. The question is if you feel alone, even Pepe doesn't support you." "I don't mind.
I count on the support of the only person in this world who still supports me, the only one in whom I trust.
Me."
"Is it true that you support me yet?"
"Coach, are you happy with what you've done in Madrid?"
"I've been the best coach in Madrid history, and I have a piece of paper to prove all what I've achieved.
First, the record league title is mine.
The Copa del Rey after 20 years is mine.
The skinniest Ronaldo in Madrid history is mine.
The record of the guy who's annoyed Guardiola the most is mine.
Well, and Rosell's too.
The World's Best Restaurant award is mine." "Ha, you're making it up!"
"When I made up about referees you didn't say a thing!"
"Coach, will you leave at the end of the season?" "I don't know, I haven't decided yet."
"But... But you're packing your bag!"
"Packing what? Packing my bag? I'm not doing anything."
"Look, 'London.' Is it true that you'll coach Chelsea next season?"
"It's disrespectful to talk about other teams."
"Where do you want me to place last year's La Liga title?" "Here."
"Hey, last year's La Liga title belongs to Madrid!" "And Di Stéfano too but his secretary will take him!
"Listen, you have no shame." "And how."
"Sergio!!
This press conference needs a bit more of intensity; they've asked five questions and haven't committed any foul."
"I'm not taking you in, coach."
"They are all Lewandowski's relatives!" "Oh, ***!"
"Attack!"
"I bring the Copa del Rey of a couple of years ago." "Hide it, Sergio Ramos is round here! Come on!"