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There's this really really...kind of, in my opinion really bad stereotype that all men
cheat (right OK) in their relationship.
And you want my thoughts on that?
Yeah. Why not...
If my girlfriend was following Gwyneth Paltrow's advice I'd never need to cheat...But seriously
no its complete garbage that all men cheat isn't it? It's absolute rubbish. My honest
view is that real men commit to their woman, real men take care of their woman, real men
commit to pleasing ONE woman. Might cause some controversy by saying that but that is
what it is as far as I'm concerned. The female critics who think what I'm saying is impossible
to expect, they're not ready to view themselves as the queens they should see themselves as.
And for the male critics who don't agree with what I'm saying, their level of maturity is
at a point where their not even ready to start hearing me yet so that's not something I need
to concern myself with. I was having a similar conversation with someone a few weeks ago
about this. She said she felt that all men cheat OK? I told her straight out that that's
garbage. I don't cheat on my woman! Yeah? That's not to say that other girls don't occasionally
catch your attention because they do. But there's a world of difference between a woman
catching your attention and you going behind your girl's back to sleep with said woman
do you see what I mean? You see all these studies about men who cheat and the number
who are admitting it is rising and all this sort of stuff; but you've got to realize there
are men in the minority probably who don't cheat, who are able to commit. That's what
the vital point is here. I don't know about you, but this thought that men are unable
to control themselves and only think with their junk and...they're not very intelligent....It's
a bit of an insult! You're always going to have people of both genders who are going
to step out and sleep about and all the rest of it. But I really do think that we men,
we get sold and sell ourselves short when we behave in a way to perpetuate this insensitive,
laddish animalistic sort of stereotype.
Getting back to this person that I was talking to who said she felt that all men cheat...When
she said that you sort of think to yourself...So you're married or you have a male partner
OK? How can you accept as a given that this person who you choose to spend your life with
could behave in that way? What does it say about him? What does it say about you? What
does it say about you considering you feel this way and you would live with it knowing
that this guy is behaving like this?
It's like me saying that all women are irrational; particularly on their time of the month. YOU
CAN'T tar (its rubbish!) three and a half billion people with the same brush like that.
Men aren't all dogs, they don't all cheat, and there are some good ones out there few
and far between as they are.
I feel quite sorry in fact at times for the female of the species man because...you're
right, they're basically sent this message from adolescence onward that this is the case
and its simply untrue. Women I think, need to be very clear on their expectations, and
consistent in their behavior.
So how does the misaligned female expectation, how does it exacerbate the whole cheating
scenario?
Particularly adolescence onward a woman's own maturity level is to blame for some of
it; let me explain what I mean. A classic example is where a woman asks her man a question,
of all ages OK? She''ll do so either knowing what the answer is or what the man is likely
to say; she'll ask the man a question and expect...that the man tell her what she wants
to hear or to lie. And what will happen is she'll get upset if she doesn't hear what
she wants; and for you ladies who are adamant that you don't do this, just to be clear,
if you genuinely don't do this, you have a girlfriend that does do this! My girl would
do it all the time!
And I'd say to her "Don't ask me a question you know you don't want to hear the answer
to, because I'm not going to lie, OK? Don't ask me if you look fat in that outfit because
I'm going to tell you. Don't ask me if that girl who just walked past I find attractive,
because I'll tell you and you might not like the answer. Don't ask me if I think you've handled that situation correctly
if you know I think you haven't."
If you're feeling insecure, I'll do my best to reassure you! But what I'm saying is, don't
put me in a position where I have to lie to do that. What you need to do is ring your
girlfriends, if you want to be lied to and you want just blind reassurance in that way
and you want to be lied to, you need to ring your girlfriends because that's what they're
there for. But don't ask me to do it! After that conversation, my girl started learning.
What women have to understand is that they deserve better than lies. They should want
their men to be honest with them and the men should feel safe to do that...without risking
arguments. How can any woman who is willing to be lied to then go and moan when their
man cheats on them.
I see! So it's OK for a man to lie to you to make you feel good in the moment but it's
not OK when he's lying to cover up stuff that he knows he shouldn't be doing? How is a man
supposed to differentiate between when it's good for him to lie to you and when it's not?
It needs to be one or the other. Either lying to you is acceptable or its not; which is
it? Each woman needs to just be very clear on their own personal standard, where they
stand on that...but it can't be one way one time and the next way the next time. And that's
what I'm talking about in terms of consistent behavior. Women have to behave consistently
if they're going to expect a certain standard from their man in his behavior. Females need
to be clear and consistent on their standards if they want to find a man that's worth keeping.