Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
How many times have you, you out there in YouTube and TV land
ever found
a magic fruit that grows on dead trees?
I bet you haven't!
well you have now here
on hiking with randy in twenty thirteen
this is the first episode
(BOGUS)
... then again, it may be the
first episode of season 2.
because I can just do that...
its called making movies! You can pretty much do whatever, you want to do.
and people out there
who are sitting at home
eating their magic fruit
waiting to turn into elfs and lucky guys
are all waiting with anticipation
to see
what will happen next
on Hiking With Randy.
Woe... Falling down the hill
is not one of them that i'd like to participate in
that would be totally bogus!
(BOGUS)
oh, oh, oh... what's this?
Ooooh. we always have to get a close-up. Opps! There is a shadow.
You always have to have a close-up of something in Hiking With Randy.
it's just uh...
just part of the deal.
i will be selling this magic
lucky fruit
on ebay
starting bid will be
twenty five
thousand dollars
if your the lucky winner
you can give this to your girlfriend
or your boyfriend, to turn them into a
magical lucky elf.
and if you're really lucky
maybe, you will even find
that they can lead you to the end of the rainbow.
where there is a pot
of uh... not cactus... but gold.
everybody wants
the gold at the end of the rainbow
specially those people that play the lotto.
so anyways
Oooh, what's on the back
.. of that cactus? I don't want to go up there to find out.
but it is something white.
Maybe it is giant lice!
uh oh, there are people down there
They are walking. That is Scary!
... so anyways he was uh....
he died
the coroner took his body in and did an autopsy
and said nothing was wrong
Now lets think about it. A man just wins the Lotto
and suddenly he dies
... I mean come-on! (Sarcastic Voice)
who's gonna die if they win the lotto. not me... man!
so he was mysteriously dies
and he, uh...
they don't even perform a full autopsy. They just say, he died mysteriously.
a normal death
so his wife comes, or some family member
goes to the coroner's office and say's, Yo-Dude!
this is totally bogus, and un-contrary to reality
and so
they did a full
uh... you know, autopsy on him Cut him open
... drained his blood.
cool stuff like that.
turns out he had died of cyanide poisoning
so now it suddenly becomes a crime
something this is only solvable by you CSI fans in TV land.
(Helicopter noise) That is where the magical elves live. They live up there by that tree.
The magical elf tree.
looks just like one
i've seen them many times.
uh, oh - the wind.
So anyways, you know
lets think about this realistically.
I mean if I win the Lotto
and in a week I die.
somebody... somebody
took out a dang good insurance policy on me.
that's all there is to it.
If I die and I win the Lotto
and that is more hugh
than anything else because I don't even play the Lotto
so if I won the Lotto and then I died
and i never even play the Lotto
you know that we're gonna need ***-Doo and his team of kids
to figure out this mystery
(***-Doo laughing)
I'm just saying.... how many people
and what were they thinking
when they decided that he just died of a normal death
after winning a million dollars?
Which actually after taxes
turned out to be only four hundred and fifty thousand dollars!
Ok I don't want to get all political, but... president Obama...
he just issued an executive order
rescinding - that means
taking away; taking back; cutting it off
the pay cap
on the federal
dudes in the high-powered like vice president
congress
you know the guy's really a tax break, the guys who really need a lot of money.
to the one percent
he just cut
that law
that said there's a pay-cap
and so he just gave all of them a pay raise
so let's think about this
there was
four hundred fifty thousand of dollars that the guy was going to get
out of a one million dollar
Lotto prize...
now you know how he's paying for it
he's paying for all those federal employees
pay raise at the very top, i'm not talking about the ones who really deserve it
the guys who do the
clerical work..
and have to listen too all the crude...
who type of their papers and wipe their butts, and stuff like that
he's given it
to do the dudes at the top
now my guess is that he did that
so he could buy some favor
for that fiscal cliff.
and that fiscal cliff
for all we know, could have been a fiscal hill
you know what I am saying?
how many times
i mean have you ever seen fiscal cliff?
I have seen a physical hill, you know you go up the physical hill...
and it's a real pain in the butt
you get to the top of the hill and come down the otherside.
Well, so far that is how things went.
It was a fiscal hill.
they went up
they all wanted to *** about it. The got to the top of the hill and said, "Oh God! We're gonna fall....." We are going to crash to the ground - off this cliff.