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Hey, where is everyone? I thought people would be here for the shoot.
Billy DeWitt? Mr. Lee maybe?
It’s kind of a general rule not to have a crowd hanging around during the shoot.
We don’t want the models feeling self-conscious with everyone staring at them.
Okay. I don’t mind.
Staring is so unprofessional.
So how did the cover shoot go with Carla yesterday?
Awesome.
She’s good.
Eddie’s going to be shooting you for the actual spread though today.
He’s running a little late but he’ll be here soon.
Carla mentioned a sister of yours who hangs out here sometimes?
She’s not here now, right? I haven’t met her before, I don’t think.
No. I don’t let her come to the cover shoots or any of the shoots.
She ogles the guys way too much.
She’s at the movies tonight.
But I’ll introduce you sometime.
You’re not straight, are you?
No. No. I just have some straight friends who...
You missed a spot.
Oh. Hang tight. I’m going in.
Perfect.
(Phone buzzes)
He says Alfie’s sister is at the movies.
Good work, Todd.
Okay, let’s look around. Maybe there’s a key under the mat or somewhere. Yeah, yeah.
Hello!
Oh, but it wasn’t under the mat so it probably won’t work.
Give me that!
Okay, the sister’s going to be gone a while so we have plenty of time to case the place.
I don’t like the idea of Todd being a Chunk model
while there is a mad killer on the loose.
You know the sooner we wrap this *** up the sooner he can quit.
Okay, fine. You start with the living room,
I’ll search the bedrooms,
Wood, you take the kitchen.
Perfect. I’m starving.
Hey! Beanstalk!
This isn’t Hometown Buffet, okay?
This is very dangerous spying. Stay out of the fridge.
You’re not the boss of me.
All right! All fini!
Thanks for the memories. Put your robe on and I will get you a seat.
Sit right down here
and I will get your face done. Okay.
Oh. You’re so distracting I didn’t even notice I got this text from my sister Ashley.
I thought she was in a movie.
Well, she was but
apparently some *** were complaining that she was playing Words with Friends
during Expendables 3 so she got up and walked out and walked home.
You’re telling me she’s not at the movies and she’s home?
Yes, that’s what I’m telling you. Why do you care?
But... But... But... who walks out on Expendables 3?
It’s a modern day classic.
Stallone’s a genius. He even wrote the thing too. It’s brilliant.
Oh, really?
Okay, do me a favor? Don’t talk anymore.
(Popping sound)
Oh my god! Somebody’s shooting at us!
Wood, get down before you get hit!
No one’s shooting at us. I found some microwave popcorn in the cupboard.
It’s white cheddar flavor. You want some?
Just go check out the guest room.
(Scream) (Scream)
Get off me! (Scream)
Guys, help!
Please don’t kill me! Please god don’t kill me!
Calm down. We’re not going to kill you.
My god. You’re going to *** me then, aren’t you?
Oh my god. That’s my biggest *** nightmare.
Being gang banged by a couple of fat, hairy, disgusting old men!
Oh my god!
I’d rather you did kill me!
We are not going to *** you either, okay?
We just want to ask you a few questions about the Chunk model murders.
Oh! You think I murdered those hot young things?
Maybe I did electrocute one
and strangle the other
and stab the other with a knife!
And maybe I’ll kill you mother *** too when I get loose!
Let me go
you big fat hairy yeti Bigfoot *** yeti!
Okay, I think we’ve spent enough time in Crazy Town.
Crazy? You think this is crazy?
I’ll *** show you crazy!
What the hell is going on in here?
Are you going to have a turn with me too?
We’re not going to *** you, okay? We’re gay!
Oh what does that matter? Gay men love me.
Reggie, meet Alfie’s sister. Cuckoo!
Never mind that. You are not going to believe what I found. What?
These necklaces! All the Chunk models wear them!
And these three are inscribed Cody, Nate and Buzz!
What? Is this some sort of sick keepsake you take from your *** victims after you kill them?
I don’t know what those are!
I haven’t seen anything like that in my life you *** hairy thing!
I didn’t find them in Ashley’s room! I found them in Alfie’s room
along with a bunch of other pictures of young Chunk models past and present!
Wait a minute. What is this? Oh my god!
It’s the knife and the mask that woman used to attack me at the hospital!
It was you!
Who? Me?
What does it mean? It means they’re working together!
It means we’re dealing with a pair of sick demented brother sister serial killers!
Wait!
If Alfie is on this too, Then it just means one thing.
Todd!
All right. Just close your eyes and lean back.
Relax, keep those eyes closed.
TEXT FROM WOOD BURNS Perfect. I'm gonna figure out how to break in and search his place. Don't let him out of your site!!!
Keep those eyes closed. Okay.
Oh, Todd. I’m so disappointed.
Why? What’s wrong?
(muffled scream)
Oh yeah. I was hoping to kill you last.
Sleep well.
Sweet dreams you beautiful beautiful bear.