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Oh no, it's the stupid Woot.com video podcast again.
Monte.
Hey, Mortime--
I have identified a problem.
Uh-oh.
Well, maybe not a problem exactly so much as a FRAUD.
Oh, boy.
A FRAUD BEING PERPETRATED ON AMERICA'S FUN-SEEKERS.
Well, let's hear it.
I've been doing some trials over the last few weeks, and I am here to tell you definitively:
the Simmons-Stanley-Thayer-Singer program for perpetual good times is simply not sustainable.
The Simmons... what?
It is all well and good to SAY you want to rock and roll all night n-i-t-e and party
ev-er-y day. But in practice, it is an impossible regimen.
You... Are you talking about the rock band KISS?
KEEP UP, MONTE. Look. Let's first admit the difficulty of distinguishing between rocking-and-rolling
on the one hand and partying on the other. As discrete categories.
I guess there probably is some overlap there.
Some overlap, Monte? Overlap? You think? If anything, the set of activities that are rightly
called rocking-and-rolling are a SUBSET of the set we call "partying."
...I...
Have you been working on this question for the past 22 days, Monte?
...I...
Have you?
No, I certainly have--
THEN MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE IT FOM ME, OK? Because I have been. All rocking and rolling is partying,
but not all partying is rocking OR rolling, much less both.
Mortimer, I wonder if--
But say you can separate them. I don't know how you do this. But say you can. And distribute
them across a 24-hour period such that the rocking and rolling takes place throughout
the night, and the partying takes up the daytime hours.
I don't even know why you're--
WHEN DO YOU SLEEP?
What--
WHEN DO YOU SLEEP, MONTE?
Are you asking me--
Because you're rocking and rolling all night, n-i-t-e, are you not? And you're partying
ev-er-y day. If you're following the program as it's laid out. You keep on dancin' and
the room gets hot, and before you know it you're having some kind of -- I don't know.
Palpatations! Right? R-i-t-e?
Mortimer, you know, you look a little--
It's just not realistic, is what I'm saying. I mean, sure, rock and roll for a good portion
of most nights. And party often. But ev-er-y day? I don't think so. Most days, maybe. But
not ev-er-y. It's -- You keep on shoutin! And you -- you keep on shoutin! And at some
point you're just going to run out of shout, you know what I mean? Try -- Try to guess
how many five-hour energy shots a person might go through trying to keep that up over 22
days. Take a guess.
Oh, no, Mortimer, you really shouldn't drink too much of--
TAKE A GUESS.
I have no idea.
unnnnh
I give up.
gggggg
I need to lay down for a mi--
Whoa!
Mortimer?
ZZZZZ