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>> Kids often sort of sail through the use of electronics
and they don't think about the bigger picture of how it is
that they're impacting other people. So they may send messages
that they think are funny or jokes and they may be taken
in a completely different way.
They may send a message when they're upset with somebody,
they don't understand that by sending a message
out about their anger or their jealousy or their frustrations
that they are then creating a situation
where those emotions are sort of going to keep going and live on.
One of the big things you're suppose to do
as a teenager is learn how to make friends and ... real friends
and relationships away from your family, that's sort of one
of the tasks that you need to learn
and among girls what we're seeing is that unfortunately
when they do get involved in cyberbullying
or cyberconflicts it often involves girls
who are among their closest friends,
whereas with the boys it usually involves other boys
who are not their closest friends.
The boys seem to go away from the friendship circle
when they're picking targets
but the girls usually pick them right inside their
closest friends.
>> It seems to be like it was there emotion and compassion
for someone and it just becomes another girl,
it's not...no longer a person it's just a picture
that you're sending to people.
I think that's what gets me most angry and upset is
that people really don't care
about the embarrassment of the girl anymore.
>> And boys who are very tech savvy who maybe
on the outside world not fit in quite the same as other kids,
on line they might be much more knowledgeable
and then they can use the internet to their advantage,
so they're being hurt and then they're fighting back
in this almost silent anonymous way.
>> This issues you want to focus on if it turns
out that your child is doing this
to other kids are you want first to cut off their ability
to abuse others so you want to make sure
that that can't continue.
You also want to make sure that you attend
to what your child needs in order
to get past this kind of behavior.
Sometimes abusive behavior is more like a habit with children,
sometimes they get in the habit of talking a certain way
to other kids and they pick that up and they run with it
and then they just need for you to correct them
and to continually remind them about what you expect from them
and to check in with the school maybe and other people.
But some times it also means they're struggling
with something and if they're struggling
with something emotional or something social
or other difficulties then that maybe a time when you need
to talk with them at more length or you even need
to get outside help, for example
by asking your pediatrician for a referral.
Pediatricians are becoming more aware about these issues now
so it's more likely that they're going to be able
to give you some sort of referral for help.
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